Mindy stared at the disheveled suitcase for a solid minute in irritated silence, wondering where she was going to find the drive to repack all of her clothing for the third time. With garments positively leaking out of the sides and her shoes in a cluttered heap at its core, the odds of her finding a way to organize the chaos so that the carrier had a prayer's chance of zipping shut seemed very slim. Just recalling the amount of effort it took to accomplish the feat the first two times managed to drain the little bit of energy she had left. She cursed herself briefly for insisting that she change into a clean pair of underwear and her flannel pajamas, both of which were buried at the very bottom, rather than just sleep in her clothes for the night. Then she remembered that this ordeal was in no way her fault, and that she would have prepared much more efficiently had she known that she would be spending another night on the west coast instead of on a plane home, flying towards reconciliation. With that thought, she rescinded her previous condemnation of herself and began cursing Daniel Castellano ardently.
"Dammit, Danny," she hissed to an empty room, leaning forward and shifting around some of the clothing without making any actually progress. "You have to be a special kind of dick to kidnap a friend!"
She blew out a frustrated sigh as she ran a hand through her hair, coming to the realization that she didn't have a multitude of options aside from removing all of her belongings and starting over. Just as she began to rethink her policy of packing "just in case" ensembles, there was a knock on her guestroom doorframe. She turned around to find the "special kind of dick" in question, standing barefoot in his own flannel pajamas, dark colored shirt and ruffled hair. He donned a pitiful expression, akin to a child getting scolded for tracking mud onto the carpet. If Mindy hadn't been so insistent on being angry she might have felt a little sorry for him.
"Hey," he uttered almost underneath his breath, which earned him no more than a noncommittal "hmph" from his colleague before she returned her attention to her bag. As Mindy noisily adjusted some of the shoes, Danny craned his neck to get a better view of her task. He pointed at the mess. "You know, you'll have a much easier time fitting everything in if you fold your clothes and lie them flat, rather than just tossing everything in like that."
Despite Danny's helpful tone, Mindy threw the shoe on top of the clutter and spun around with her hands on her hips, looking furious enough to spit fire. "It's late! Can I help you?!"
Danny's eyes betrayed a familiar flash, one that usually accompanied a biting retort. He appeared to have taken a second to compose himself and replied calmly. "Look, I just came by to say that I'm glad that you were able to get your flight switched for the morning and I'm sorry that I caused such an inconvenience. I promise I'll pay you back every dime as soon as we get home, alright?"
"Uh, no, Danny," Mindy scoffed, rolling her eyes dramatically, "it's definitely not 'alright.' This is about more than the money! This is about you coming to the conclusion that your problems are somehow more important than mine!"
"Min, that's not – "
"Yes, Danny, that's what you were basically implying when you brought me here literally against my will, despite knowing that I needed to get back home. I'm sorry if my love life isn't important to you, but it is to me! It was important enough for me to change all of my plans just for the chance to talk to Cliff. Don't you get it?!"
She thought she saw him twitch at the words "love life," but her need to make sure that her rage came across clearly overpowered any desire to dwell on facial tics. She continued.
"Look, I get that seeing your dad was important to you – trust me, I do – but my inability to come with you didn't mean that I didn't support you. I just have my own stuff that I have to deal with and I thought that I could support you from afar just as I would expect you to support me. Dragging me here without my knowledge, against my consent, meant that you were putting your stuff above my stuff. That's not fair to me, Danny."
With his arms crossed securely over his chest, Danny stood still with an impassive expression, appearing to allow her words to sink in before he said anything potentially idiotic. After a long pause as he looked down at his feet, Mindy detected a very subtle nod of his head. "You're right," he finally replied, his eyes still low. "No, you're right; It was really selfish of me to bring you here. I'm really sorry, Mindy. I promise I'll make it up to you…and I'm not just talking about the money." He lifted his gaze so that he was finally making eye contact with her. "I mean in general. I just…I promise to be better to you, Min."
It was a simple vow, but it washed over her in a way that only his friendship could manage to do as it did so many times in the past – like a warm coat of security fit snugly around her body. As furious as she may have been before, she believed him with all of her heart in that moment. For a minute she forgot her current relationship crisis and just took solace in the fact that everything would somehow work out simply because she had Danny as her friend. Rather than tell him any of this, she opted for a tight press of her lips and a short nod of her approval. This appeared to be all Danny needed. A small smile quirking the right corner of his mouth, he tilted his chin towards her deconstructed luggage.
"Can I start by helping you out with your suitcase?" he asked hopefully, taking a careful step into the room. "I wasn't kidding when I said that you needed to fold everything to get it to fit, but I can help you."
Mindy sighed once more, looking back at her disastrous pile helplessly. "I was really hoping that I wouldn't have to fold everything. I hate folding laundry so much."
Danny took that as his cue to enter the room more decidedly. He assessed the mess and gave her an optimistic look. "It'll go by a lot quicker with the two of us." He started pawing through the clothing. "Just tell me what's safe for me to handle and which stuff is private. Y'know, boss me around a little. That shouldn't be a problem for you, right?" He nudged her shoulder with his own for good measure, smirking self-indulgently.
"Easy, Castellano," Mindy warned, though she emitted a smirk of her own. "You're barely out of the dog house."
"I'll be careful," he promised, his voice almost at a whisper. After removing everything from the suitcase the pair began to conquer the pile as a team, Danny folding what he could reach while Mindy sorted out the dirty clothes and tucked them neatly into disposable hampers.
After a stretch of silence, Mindy spoke up. "So, I never got a chance to ask you, how does it feel to finally talk to your dad?"
Danny continued to fold and kept his eyes on his task, though Mindy didn't miss the hard bob of his Adam's apple and the set nature of his jaw. Some more silence passed, and then he finally shrugged. "It is what it is."
Narrowing her eyes in confusion, Mindy almost laughed. "What does that mean? You have to be feeling something, Danny. We're spending the night at your dad's house! Neither of us could have predicted such a thing in a million years. How does that feel?"
"I don't know, Mindy," he groaned in exasperation, lining the bottom of the large carrier with his freshly folded work. "It feels like I'm feet away from the guy that was MIA for most of my life. It's whatever, you know?"
Mindy tilted her head, flabbergasted. "I don't believe you. You've had harder, more passionate opinions about the lack of trail mix varieties in the snack machine at the hospital. I find it very hard to believe that you're having trouble placing your feelings right now."
"What do you want me to say, Min?!" Danny fired back, maintaining the volume as low as his outburst would allow. "Am I supposed to feel relieved? Angry? Sad? I mean, tell me so that I can begin to have a clue!"
They both stared at each other, mouths agape. Mindy wasn't sure how to counter that, and Danny was already beginning to look ashamed. He breathed heavily through his nose.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you," Danny apologized, his even tone of voice returning. "I'm just at a loss. My feelings change almost every few minutes. I feel like I'm going crazy. Being here feels like this weird prison. Like, I know I'm free to go, but I also can't leave just yet…only I have no clue what it is that's keeping me here."
In the years that she'd known him, Mindy could not recall a time when Danny looked more lost. She imagined this young man, struggling between acting as a rock for his mother and younger brother while searching for his own understanding of his father's sudden absence. How must that have felt, burying his own heartache deep inside for the benefit of others and never taking the time to unearth it and deal with it once and for all? Tough, she figured, wouldn't even begin to describe it. Seeing the pain and confusion in his eyes suddenly felt too difficult to whether. She felt an overwhelming need to help him.
"Danny, go grab a coat and come with me," she commanded resolutely. She dropped the bags of dirty clothing into the almost vacant luggage and grabbed the topmost jacked and her black boots. "You have boots, right? If you don't, I'm pretty sure I saw a pair by the door when we first got here. Just grab those."
Danny furrowed his eyebrows. "Uh, Mindy, what are you –"
"We're getting out of this house for a bit, Danny," Mindy swung around as she slipped her jacket on over her pajamas. She took a seat on the bed and began working on getting her boots on her feet. "I'm serious about the boots, Danny. This is the effing desert. The last thing you need is a scorpion or snake-monster-thing crawling up your pant leg. And I'm totally useless if that happens to you, because I'm more-than-likely just going to run away screaming before I even think to call for help."
Danny moved in front of her and placed his hands on her shoulders desperately. "Mindy, please. Just take a breath and tell me what's going on."
She simply reached up and rested her own hands on his shoulders, a soft smile on her lips. "Just trust me. Go get a jacket. It's freezing out."
Seeing that her mind appeared to be made up, Danny sighed and left the room as she continued to wiggle into her boots. He returned moments later, wearing a leather jacket and a pair of dirty worker's boots, presumably his father's.
"Okay, now tuck the pant legs into the boots like this." Mindy demonstrated with her own pajama legs, stuffing the ends into her shoes and creating a makeshift seal. "We have no clue what's out there. The last thing we need is to get bit by something radioactive."
"Min, where exactly are we going?" Danny urged while mimicking her motions and tucking in his pants. "It's close to midnight!"
Finished with her handy work and grabbing her cell phone, Mindy stood and made her way past Danny, grabbing his hands as soon as he finished tucking. "This won't take long." She dragged him wordlessly behind her, taking him down the hallway and through the living room until they reached the front door.
"Should we at least grab the car keys?" Danny whispered.
"Don't need 'em," Mindy replied, letting go of his hand in order to unchain the sliding lock and the click the deadbolt. Once unlocked, she opened the door and stood to the side, waiting for Danny to follow suit. The moon illuminated his skeptical face as he stepped outside, walking forward so that Mindy could close the door.
"C'mon," she commanded, walking in a straight trajectory from the door. She could hear his heavy footsteps following closely behind as she wrapped her arms around her body. She sent a silent "thank you" to the heavens for the invention of flannel material and its ability to keep her warm on such a cold night.
The footsteps behind her quickened until Danny was at her side. "Okay, tell me where we're going. We can't go out into the desert, if that's what you're thinking. It's way too dangerous!"
"Oh, live a little, Danny," Mindy teased. "We're just taking a little walk. I promise we're not going far; just far enough where nobody can hear us scream."
Danny grabbed her upper arm and swung her around so that she was facing him. The look on his face showed no amusement.
"Do you feel like that was the best choice of words just then?" he asked gravely.
Mindy maintained her eye contact, unflinching. "I feel like it was the most accurate! Now, come on. Let's just walk a little further out."
They walked for close to ten minutes, almost three quarters of a mile from the house, occasionally noting different formations of rocks and cacti as landmarks, until Alan Castellano's property was swallowed by the distance and the darkness. All that surrounded them were large rocks, sporadic patches of tall grass, and the occasional Joshua tree. Satisfied, Mindy finally stopped and turned to Danny.
"Alright," Mindy said simply, making a sweeping gesture with her hand as she indicated the vastness surrounding them. "Let it out, Danny."
Danny crossed his arms and looked at her disbelievingly. "What? Did you bring me all the way out her just so we could talk? Was this just for fun?"
Mindy rolled her eyes. "Do I look like the kind of person to hike out of joy?" she asked in disgust. "This is all for a purpose, trust me. I brought you out here because I thought it might help for you to get some things out of your system. You're clearly holding on to a lot – not that anyone could blame you – and I think you need to just release it so that you can begin to heal."
Danny chuckled bitterly as he dragged both of his hands up and down his face. "Mindy, you are so insane. How is dragging me out in the middle of the desert going to solve anything?"
"It's not meant to solve everything, Danny, but it's a start!" Mindy took a step closer so that she could get a better look at him. "Look, when we got here, I had to physically prevent you from punching your father in the face. You get in front of him and you can't bring yourself to say anything nice, no matter how much hospitality he shows us. You're holding onto a lot and I think seeing him and learning of your little sister has been a major shock. I imagine that all the stuff you ever planned on saying to him if you ever found yourself with the chance kind of flew out of the window and now you don't know where to begin. I think that's what's keeping you here, Danny."
She prepared for him to argue back, or to deny any of what she was saying. Instead, she took his silence and soft eyes as confirmation, which was all she needed to continue.
"I think if you just take this opportunity to yell, scream, punch, whatever, it might help you start to deal with some of the stuff and gain some clarity on what you want to really say to your dad. No more digs, no more low-blows. Clearing your head might help you start an actual conversation with him. I'm not saying everything has to be solved and forgiven tomorrow. I'm saying that this is a place to start."
After a pause, Danny looked off into the distance and shrugged. "I don't know, Min…"
Mindy scoffed. "Do you know how many people wish they had a field or an abandoned building that they could escape to so that they could just scream and let out a fraction of their frustration? We have a whole desert to our disposal! And you need it, Castellano. I'll start heading back to the house to give you a little privacy, okay?"
She turned around and started to walk when she felt Danny's fingers slip around her wrist to stop her. "If I'm going to do this, I want you here."
Without a word, Mindy nodded and took a few steps back, giving him the space he needed while remaining close by for support. For a while he said nothing, simply dawdling in a circle and kicking some of the smaller rocks around in his path.
"I don't even know, what to say to him, you know?" Danny asked helplessly. "I guess I just want to know why…why he never made a real effort to reach out to me after he and Ma were done…why he didn't feel the need to keep me in his good graces like he did with Richie."
Mindy knew not to interrupt. She just let her eyes follow him as he slowly began to pour his heart out to her and the open desert. He stopped briefly to look at Mindy.
"I know l can be a tough sonofabitch to win over. I get that. But I'm not some neighbor or a customer at his barber shop, I'm his son!" He turned towards the direction of the house and yelled into the night, "I'M YOUR GODDAMN SON! YOU DON'T JUST GIVE UP ON YOUR KIDS BECAUSE THEY'RE ANGRY! I MATTER JUST LIKE RICHIE MATTERS!"
Mindy was a little frightened to hear him scream, but she mainly felt relieved that her hunch was correct. It sounded like something he wanted to say for years. Once he began to let it out, he showed no signs of stopping just yet. He turned back around towards her. "I mean, he sends Richie with some Miami Vice vinyl – an interest that I had back in the damn eighties – as a way to what, win me over? Like that's supposed to make up for the decades he missed while he was off creating a whole new family! I'm supposed to swoon because it's a collector's item when really it's not about the value, it's about the fact that that's all he fucking knows about me after all this time! Rather than get to know his eldest son as the adult he's become, he clung to that little detail in hopes that it would somehow be enough! WELL, IT FUCKING WASN'T, ALAN!"
There was a moment when Danny stumbled a little backwards as he emitted a maniacal laugh and ran his hands roughly through his hair. He turned back towards his father's land. "YOU NAMED HER DANNI?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! YOU COULD HAVE JUST FIXED THINGS WITH ME! AM I THAT DIFFICULT?! IS SHE SUPPOSED TO BE MY REPLACEMENT?! HOW- WHAT'S…" His voice audibly cracked on the final word just before he began to peter out, his shoulders slumped in exhaustion.
Watching the display, Mindy fought back tears. As intrusive as she felt, she was grateful that she could be there for him throughout all this. She couldn't imagine what self-destructive behavior he would have engaged in if he had to face this himself. Suddenly she couldn't believe that she had almost ended up on a plane in lieu of being here for her best friend. To witness him work through his pain – and to realize that he had allowed her to do so – strengthened her resolve to be better to him just as he had promised to be better to her. She took a few slow steps towards her now silent friend, not wanting to invade his space if he was still in need of it.
"Danny?" she called out tentatively. She eventually stood directly in front of him, almost toe to toe, while his eyes remained on the ground and his shoulders fell forward.
Without another word, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him into her and hugging him tightly. For a moment she only felt his head resting on her shoulders, then she soon heard the squeak of moving leather and felt his arms wrap tightly around her back. It felt like he was trying to pull her as tightly against him as physics would allow, which spurred her to grip him more tightly in return. As they embraced, she thought she heard the sound of Danny sniffling, but she wasn't positive and she didn't feel like detaching herself for the sake of finding out. She just wanted to hold him, amongst the Joshua trees and the stars, and eradicate the feeling of inadequacy once and for all.
"You are so, so important to me, Danny," Mindy whispered close to his ear, making sure she was loud enough for him to hear. "Whatever happened, I'm so happy to know that man that you've become. I honestly wouldn't change a thing about you. I hope you know that."
At that, he squeezed her tight and let out a much more definite sniffle. The sound made Mindy allow for one tear to roll down her cheek. They stood that way for a few minutes, swaying and embracing. When Mindy thought that Danny might want some space to breathe, she began to pull back. Her attempts were thwarted by the insistent tightening of Danny's arms, holding her in place.
"You have to know that Cliff doesn't deserve you," Danny said in a low tone, his voice sounding a little thick.
The words stunned Mindy into stillness, unable to move and process what he said simultaneously.
"He doesn't deserve you, Min," Danny repeated. "Not at all. Please don't go back to him. Please."
Placing her hand on his shoulders and eager to gain some clarity, Mindy pulled back enough to get a look at Danny's face. She expected to see the vulnerability in his eyes. What she did not expect was the determination that appeared to wash over him. He kept his arms securely around her waist.
"Danny…?"
"A man who doesn't understand what he has while he has it," he went on to explain, his voice grave with emotion and exhaustion, "a man who doesn't hop on the opportunity to be with you fully and doesn't make the effort to return even half as much love as you give does not deserve you. He has no idea what he threw away and for that…for that alone, Mindy, he shouldn't get to have you rushing back to prove something to him, especially when you did nothing wrong. You're so good. You're so…wonderful and loving and absolutely gorgeous and you're just such a special brand of good that any man who throws that away over a brief shot to his pride shouldn't be given the time of day."
Mindy's emotions oscillated between flattery and confusion and a little bit of frustration. She never realized how much Danny's approval meant to her until just now and hearing him say that Cliff wasn't worth her time not only made her believe it, but left her feeling lost as to how she should move forward.
"Then who's good enough for me, Danny?" she asked pleadingly.
Danny let out a brief, curt chuckle. "Honestly? Nobody. I don't think anybody will ever be good enough for you. But I at least think you should be with someone who recognizes this enough to make an effort to earn you each day. You should be with someone who will fight for you, even if that means fighting against himself a little bit in the process." He removed a hand from around her back and used it to cradle her face, his thumb rubbing tiny circles along he apple of her cheek. "You deserve someone will work hard and against his own pride to become the best man he can be for you, even if that means facing certain things he's avoided for years and years."
She allowed the remaining tears to fall, touched by this new revelation and the amount that Danny was suddenly willing to share with her. Feeling him this close, smelling his leftover aftershave, and hearing that honest timbre in his voice made her realize just how much she has wanted this deep inside, as well as just how long this want in her existed. Mindy allowed for her hands to slide from his shoulders to his chest, resting them on his pectorals as she continued to look into his eyes.
"Danny, who do you suggest I turn to for all of this?"
Danny closed his eyes and blew out a tiny breath as he rested his forehead against hers, taking the time to breathe her in. "I'd work so damn hard to earn you, Min," he uttered just loud enough for the declaration to exist between the two of them. "And if the day ever came when it felt like I had finally earned you, I would work even harder to keep you. I promise."
Mindy could not have fantasized a better declaration of devotion, mainly because she never even dared herself to fantasize about the man before her. Now with Danny Castellano in her arms and wanting her so openly, all that was left for her to do was hold tight to his jacket and pull him down until his lips met hers. Mindy reveled in the feel of his arm wrapped tightly around her while the hand cradling her cheek found its way into her hair, lightly grazing her scalp. It took almost no time at all for him to hungrily kiss her back, plucking and sucking her lips as if he were slowly branding them. She eventually wrapped her arms around his waist, trying to pull him as close to her as possible as she began to feel like kissing him relentlessly somehow didn't make him feel quite close enough. If the need for air weren't becoming so vital, she would have tried to push this to the limit. Alas, she detached her lips with an unwelcome urgency. Blowing out a shaky breath, she rested her forehead against his shoulders while he patted and stroked her hair.
Danny cleared his throat. "Tomorrow I'm going to settle what I can with my dad," he declared simply. There didn't seem to be quite as much hurt in his voice as before, which Mindy was grateful for. "I think I know what to say to him. After we're done talking, my main focus will be on you…and me…and us…"
Mindy smiled as she bit the bottom corner of her lip. "A little redundant, but I like it."
She felt a playful pinch just at the top of her rear, causing her to giggle while he placed a kiss at her temple.
"I'll repeat it as many times as I need to until I believe it," he countered, a hint of laughter in his voice. "Us…us…us…you and me." He pulled back and used both of his hands to frame her face, pulling it upward so that she could see him fully. "I don't ever expect to earn you, but I will happily try in vain."
Smiling wide, Mindy asked, "Promise?"
"Promise."
And they sealed it with another kiss, branding their pledge into the stars, the moon, the rocks, and the Joshua trees.
A/N: To the wonderful anonymous person who left this prompt with the TMP Prompts Tumblr: I hope you don't mind the angsty turn this story took. I saw an opportunity for Mindy and Danny to share a highly vulnerable, romantic moment and allowed it to unfold. I hope you enjoyed the story, nonetheless!
Hollaatchyagirl,
Phunky