AN: this is an experimental story that I'm attempting to try...it's odd, believe me, but hopefully it'll go somewhere...and hopefully I'll be able to get a chapter out per week. If you have any ideas or like it or think it totally sucks, feel free to review because even i am a little skeptical of this one...hope you like it!
Brought to you by: The Letter Z
People are never as transparent as they seem. They are more like onions, layers upon layers upon even more layers. No one ever is as simple as they seem. There's always some hidden layer beneath what you think you know. Even those people you know closest may have hidden layers artificially created to keep the world at a distance.
One person, over the course of his rather short life, had created a webbed tapestry of layers to keep himself at a distance from the world around him. From the moment he was born up until the day that he died, this man had such a spun such a devious web that he wasn't even sure who he was. It was all a blur.
Our story of the complicated, twisted tapestry that is James Potter begins truly on his sixth birthday when a muggle moving van pulled up to his house, but, where's the fun in that? So, we start this story September 1st, 1977, the first day of James Potter's 7th year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Standing in front of himself in a pale yellow dress with a matching ribbon in her hair was one of the prettiest girls six year old James Potter had ever seen in his life. Her brown eyes were shining with excitement and her short, caramel hair was tied back into two pigtails.
James smiled and began to run towards her, calling out her name. But with every step he took, the ground seemed to stretch so he made no progress what so ever.
A little challenge had never stopped James Potter before, so he sped up. With each new speed he reached, James felt as if he was aging. Soon, it wasn't the small, scrawny six year old running towards her. No, it was the tall, muscular, seventeen year old James Potter, getting closer, and closer.
The girl in front of him suddenly turned towards him and smiled when she saw that he was heading towards him. She waved, "James! James I'm over here!"
This encouraged James to speed up even more, and the ground was no longer stretching, he was gaining on her!
But then, just as he reached out for her hand, she disappeared. James looked around in confusion, only to find himself in a cemetery. What was he doing there?
"James!" a commanding voice made James open his eyes just as someone slapped his cheek.
James looked up and saw a blurry figure standing over him. He squinted his eyes, but still could not make out the person. The person had black hair falling over his face and tan skin. So, he took a wild guess, "Padfoot?"
"Yeah, and I have some bad news," Sirius did not sound too happy about it. "You broke your glasses when you fell."
Slowly, James sat up. "When did I fall?"
"Your sleep." Sirius replied. There was something in his voice that alerted James. Sirius made it sound like James didn't sleep so peacefully, as if it wasn't just a sleep but a trance.
James put his hand out and Sirius placed the broken glasses in his best friend's hand and James laughed. He then held out his other hand, "Wand?"
Sirius placed the wand in his hand and watched as James preformed a charm and the glasses repaired themselves. Sirius laughed uneasily, "I forgot about that charm."
"Are you a wizard or what?" James laughed and looked at his surroundings. No longer was he in the freedom of his house, but instead he was in the Head's compartment of the Hogwarts express, heading for his seventh and final year at Hogwarts.
Sitting in the corner of the compartment was Head Girl, Lily Evans. She had a book in front of her face, but her emerald eyes weren't moving. They were focused on the bottom of the page. The same page she had been on since James Potter started to shift in his sleep. The same page she had been on when James Potter fell off of his bench. The very same page she had been on when James Potter began to sweat and squirm and mutter things under his breath.
Usually, the two would not be in a compartment together, heck, Lily could barely stand to be in the same room as Potter. He had taken a liking to asking her out ever since their fourth year in a rather boring lesson during divination. But now, Dumbledore, the school's esteemed headmaster, had assigned them the duties of Head Boy and Girl, the most powerful positions a student could hold in the entire school. The two now were forced to get along or else lose their positions.
And now they were sitting in the Head's compartment with James' three best friends, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and Remus Lupin; and two of Lily's best friends, Lola Johnson and Vanessa Davis who was more commonly known as Van.
Just before James had started to shift around in his seat, Remus, Lola, Van and Peter had all dispersed, leaving only Sirius and Lily to witness his nightmare. Lily was actually quite tempted to ask Sirius if James had these nightmares before, but by the scared look on Sirius' face, she realized that this was probably the first time. Or at least the first time to Sirius' knowledge.
"James," Sirius looked at his friend, slightly frightened. "What was that about?"
James looked up at his best friend, "What was what about?"
Sirius rubbed the back of his neck. Unless it was about quidditch, school, girls, or other impersonal things, James didn't want to talk about it. He didn't talk about the box of keepsakes the Gryffindor Chaser kept under his bed, or the necklace he wore around his neck. Things that were too person didn't go hand in hand with James.
"Well, the whole," Sirius thought of the best way to phrase this, "Well-I mean, you see-"
"Potter, what was the whole convulsing and night sweats about?" Lily Evans finally came out of her corner, "What were you murmuring under your breath?"
James looked up and met her emerald eyes with his own hazel, she actually looked scared. "What are you talking about?"
Both Lily and Sirius stared at the boy in disbelief. Mere moments ago he was sweating as if running a marathon, murmuring words so fast as if it was his last conversation with someone. And now, here he was without a clue in the world.
"You were just on the floor," Lily's voice was slightly strangled, "You seemed worried, scared, it was definitely not a nice sleep. You kept saying the same thing over and over again, but we couldn't quite understand what it was. What happened?"
For a few minutes, James thought in silence. He tried to remember his dream, but there was nothing about it that seemed to pop into mind. He could only remember yellow. A pale yellow color. That was it.
"I don't know," James shrugged. "Oh well, if it was something big I'd have remembered it. Hey Evans, you want to be my girlfriend?"
Lily stared at the boy in utter disbelief. He had just had that nightmare, fell on his head, actually had a bruise growing on his forehead, and all he could think about was asking her out. She sighed and went back to her corner with a quiet yet firm, "No."
"Nice timing," Sirius laughed at his best friend, "It's nice to know you're still here."
"And always will be," James replied with his hollow smile. A hollow smile that everyone had gotten used to. It was a smile that lit his whole face, his pearly white teeth showed themselves off, but there was still this hollowness in his hazel eyes. However, he smiled that very smile so many times, it seemed as if that was his natural smile. Even in many pictures of him as a kid, there was that same hollowness of his eyes.
But one person had begun to pick up on that hollowness in James' eyes every time he asked her out. And this year, she was determined to find out.
Soon the train ride was over and our main subject, James Potter, could be found spacing out while the many first years were standing in fear, not knowing anything about this foreign place.
However, seeing James Potter space out during a feast was not uncommon. No, for James the best time to think was when eating for no one wanted to talk, just eat. Plus, if you hid in your room they always suspected something was wrong. For some reason, being in plain sight made people ignore the person behind the hallow smile.
"Ackles, Cameron." McGonagall called out, her voice strong and firm.
A small girl, one who seemed much to small among all the other first years, stepped forward without fear, but not with confidence. She walked up to the stool as if walking to the dinner table at home. She calmly sat upon the school and looked around.
As if with a magnet, Cameron's bright brown eyes connected with the hazel eyes of James Potter. James, who was not paying attention to the sorting, felt someone staring at him. He twisted and turned until he found his answer in deep, bright brown eyes. He gasped, "What the?"
"What, mate?" James' most loyal best friend, Sirius Black, questioned.
"Huh?" James asked, blissfully unaware of the fact he had spoken.
"James, are you feeling okay?" the caring voice of Remus Lupin joined the conversation. He had always been the most caring and intuitive of James' friends. Unlike the pompous Sirius Black or the quiet Peter Pettigrew, Remus was someone who James could confide somewhat deep feelings in. Remus was someone who could be trusted.
"Fine," James replied as he broke the connection with the girl, who just happened to be sorted into Gryffindor and was now sitting only two people away, "Just a bit of a headache from falling on my head on the train ride here."
Remus thought for a moment, "Maybe you should go see Madame Pomfrey."
"Pomfrey?" James and Sirius both questioned. Sirius then added, "I was so sure all these years her name was Madame Madeline."
"It was," Remus shook his head and rubbed his temples, "Madame Pomfrey is the new healer. We were told about this last year due to the frequency of your visits."
Sirius gave Remus a triumphant grin. He and James, the lead pranksters of the school, had been in to see Madame Madeline a collective total of 113 times in the last year alone. Sirius actually considered himself to be on excellent terms with the matron. "Aw, I'm gonna miss old Madie, she was definitely one in a million."
Remus knew better then to remind Sirius that Madame Madeline hated it when she was referred to as Madie. He also avoided reminding Sirius that the matron hated James and himself with a passion and healed them quickly so they could not stay around and annoy her all day.
Soon, all of the first years were sorted, and in answer to many students' grumbling stomachs, Headmaster Dumbledore avoided a long speech, just as he did every year, and the tables were instantly filled with food.
"Ok Prongs, I have the perfect prank to pull on the Slytherins tomorrow morning. You see…" Sirius Black began to plot, occasionally taking in large quantities of food at an alarmingly fast rate.
However, James, or Prongs as he was known to his friends, was not paying the slightest bit of attention to his friends. Instead, the teen had focused his attention a few students down where Lily Evans was talking with her two best friends.
"So Lils, looking forward to a year as Head Girl?" Lily's petite, blonde friend, Lola, questioned.
Lily sighed, "At first I was, but I don't know how I'm going to get through this year without someone to rely on. I mean, sure Potter can hold together a quidditch team, but this school is far more complex then seven people."
Lola laughed at Lily's small comparison, but Van, who was one of the seven people on the Gryffindor House Team didn't find it quite so entertaining. "Lily, this year won't be as bad as you think. When he puts his mind to it, James Potter can actually pull through amazingly."
James smiled at this comment. He had always liked Van, along with fifth year Jason Wilson, the three were amazing chasers. Some teachers even reported that no other set of chasers were as exquisite as the Gryffindor Trio.
"I know, I know," Lily rolled her eyes, "But this isn't some stupid sport, this is an institution of learning!"
Van glared at her best friend. For Van, life was eating, breathing, drinking, and quidditch. Nothing more, nothing less. Her father had been a seeker for the Chudley Cannons and his father was keeper for Puddlemore United. Now, seeing as Van was an only child, she had taken it upon herself to make the national league. "Lily, sometimes you just say the wrong thing. Learn to think before you speak."
James then watched as Van got up and left the Great Hall. Some people wondered if she wasn't feeling good or had some type of sudden emergency for no one ever just got up and left the Welcoming Feast. However, the other part of the population knew she had stomped off due to Lily. Both were fierce and stubborn. Sometimes too stubborn for their own good.
"So James, what do you think?" Sirius asked his friend.
James snapped back into his reality, or at least attempted to. No matter how hard he tried to push it to the back of his mind, he couldn't get the notion of Lily thinking of him as a complete and inconsiderate prat. Sure he joked off and asked her out occasionally, but he'd rather be doing that then being depressed at how badly he thought his life turned out.
"Well?" Sirius demanded a reply. He was the Sirius Black. He was not to be ignored by anybody.
"I think that it's a completely brilliant plan." James lied. "But I don't think we should do it tomorrow, or at least I won't be able to."
Sirius looked at his best friend in complete shock. He thought he was talking to James Potter, the boy who was unconscious for a week, got up, and two minutes later was down in the Slytherin common room pranking a few kids a few years older then himself. Suddenly, Sirius felt as if he was completely wrong.
"What do you mean?" Sirius demanded an answer, "We always prank the Slytherins the morning back. It's tradition! Like some unwritten law or something."
"That was before I was Head Boy," James stated defiantly, and mentally added, before I had to reprove myself to the world.
"But James, look at Snivellous!" Sirius pointed to the greasy haired kid at the end of the hall, "He's asking for it!"
"Nobody asks to be picked on." James sighed and then stood up. Without another word to his dumbstruck friends, James left the Great Hall and decided to go look for his favorite chaser, Van Davis.
Ask any pupil in Hogwarts and they'll tell you the Marauders were amazing at finding whomever they want, whenever they want. No one knows how, but when a Marauder was looking for you, they were going to find you, it was inevitable.
And it was with these talents in which James found Van sitting against a wall in some random hallway, curled into a small ball.
"Davis, good to see you." James smiled as he sat down next to the blonde.
She sighed, "Hey Potter, please tell me you haven't come here to tell me we've got practice tomorrow evening."
James laughed, "Nope, sorry to get your hopes up. But let's not talk quidditch, let's talk about what ever you want to talk about."
Van looked up at James with a suspicious glance. What game was this boy playing at. "Well, I think I prefer tampons to pads, but I'm not sure."
Sadly, Van's plan backfired when James asked, "What are tampons and what kind of pads?"
"Never mind," Van blushed, "I was just yanking your chain." She then let out a long yawn, "Why do people who don't like quidditch always try to make you feel bad for playing it yourself?"
For a small moment, James considered the question. However, no one had ever made him feel bad for playing quidditch. Instead they did the opposite. They praised him and put him on a pedestal. "Jealousy?"
The girl sighed, "I doubt that."
"How about the fact that they just don't get that thrill? They've never dodged a bludger on the way to scoring a goal. Never had they dreamed of being in a trio where you feel like you're one complete person, not three separate people on three separate broomsticks. Those people have never felt the rush of excitement we get when we throw the quaffle through the post and hear the roar of the crowd."
Van looked at James with a new found respect. People had told her time and time again what being on a broom felt like. They told her of how great it was to play for a team. But no one had ever made it seem so real, had so much emotion in their voice.
"Thank you." She smiled as she stood up. She then offered her hand to James, who in turn took it with a smile on his own face.
"For what?" He asked and began to lead her towards the Gryffindor common room.
Van looked at him, and then turned away, "For making me believe in the spirit of quidditch."
James furrowed his brow. He hadn't thought he said that much, but apparently it mattered to her so he let it slide. It wasn't until they reached the Fat Lady that James had noticed the two had moved at all.
Van looked at James expectantly and waited for him to say the password. However, it seemed as if the Head Boy was in another world. His eyes were glazed over and his mouth slightly open.
"James, password?" Van questioned.
James snapped out of whatever trance he was in and said, "Cornish Pixie."
The portrait of the Fat Lady slowly swung open to reveal an empty common room. The two seventh years entered and sat down on the couches. "So James, excited to be Head Boy?"
No.
That was James immediate reply, yet, he knew he couldn't say it out loud. So, instead, he waited for a fake answer to drift into his mind, "Yep, this year is going to be totally wicked. Sirius has even got our first prank of the year planned out."
"Please tell me it's on the Slytherins and not on me." Van joked. James had actually never pranked her since she joined the quidditch team, but he had no problem with pranking Lily or Lola.
"Course it's on the Slytherins," James laughed. "They've always been the targets of our first prank of the year. If we broke that tradition, then the pranking tradition would be useless."
Van laughed just as the portrait hole opened, revealing Lily Evans and Remus Lupin, both of whom were showing the first years to the common room.
"Guys are to the right, girls to the left," Lily informed them. "And just so you know, boys are not allowed in the girls dormitories."
"Does that mean the girls are allowed in the boys dorms?" a small, slightly high pitched voice came from the group of kids.
Lily looked to Remus, not sure if she should tell kids that, but Remus just laughed, "Yes, girls are allowed in the boys' dorms but I wouldn't recommend you go there. It's like one giant barn, random smells and you might get attacked by mold."
A small chorus of 'ewws' came from the girls while the guys laughed. One blonde boy even gave another blonde boy a high five. James and Van just watched with amused smiles on their faces. What they'd give to be so young and so naïve.
Once all the first years were settled in the common room or in their respective dorms, Lily Evans turned on her best friend and her worst enemy. "Van," or course she would just ignore James, "I'm sorry."
"For?" Van asked, not looking at Lily but instead at the fireplace behind the redhead.
"Belittling quidditch." Lily replied, "I'm sorry but when I don't talk to you over the summer I tend to forget how important quidditch is to you."
Van smiled and said, "Ok, I forgive you."
"Good," Lily smiled, "now, I'd love to stay here longer and compliment you on your hair, but Potter and I are supposed to meet Headmaster Dumbledore outside the Great Hall for our room assignments."
With a small groan, James stood up and smiled towards Lily, "Lead the way, Mademoiselle."
Lily gave James a suspicious eyebrow, but went off ahead of him none the less. Soon, the two found themselves watching the Headmaster walk away after explaining where the Head Dorms were and the password.
"Are you coming, Potter?" Lily asked after minutes later, James had not moved a muscle.
"I will," James replied expressionlessly.
After waiting a few minutes, Lily rolled her eyes and grabbed James' forearm. The boy, who was considerably larger then Lily, flinched and pulled his arm back. Lily looked confused, "Did I hurt you?"
"No," James replied immediately as he kneaded his wrist. "Just a bruise from over the summer."
"Oh, quidditch?" Lily attempted to start a conversation as the two walked to the sixth floor and began to look for a painting of a rhinoceros.
"No," James replied truthfully, but regretted it seconds later. After a moment of silence he said, "I fell off a swing and landed on a rock."
Lily nodded as if she believed his story, but there was something about it that made it beyond her belief. Somehow, the thought of smug, seventeen years old James Potter even going near a swing set seemed unlikely.
After that, James quickly ran down the corridors, found the portrait of a rhinoceros and went in after barely waving towards Lily to alert her where the dorms were. Lily scrunched her eyebrows and followed him in, but wasn't able to even say goodnight for James had already hid himself in his personal dormitory.