Memories
"The most radical thing to do
Is to love someone who loves you
Even when the world is seemingly
Telling you not to"
The Ark
They got married in a muggle-church. Arthur was so excited about it and I was a little bit worried that he would ruin the ceremony with some inappropriate comment, but he behaved perfectly. There weren't many people there; me and Arthur, Kingsley and Mad-Eye. And Tonks´ parents of course. They didn't look too pleased with the event but at least they were there. I wanted to go up to them and tell them that Remus is a wonderful man and that they should be happy that their daughter is getting married out of love. After all, that's what I and Arthur did. And come to think about it; Andromeda and Ted. But Arthur told me that it wasn't my place and I didn't want to ruin anything so I stayed quiet.
It was raining outside. But I don't think anyone mined. It was sunny enough inside the church. I don't think I've ever seen Tonks that happy, and she was almost always happy (except for that year, but I don't want to think about that). She had blond hair, curly, and her lips were red. He dress was very simple and maybe not one I would have chosen but she looked absolutely amazing.
And she didn't trip when she walked down the aisle.
Remus mostly looked nervous and I could see how his hands were shaking. It was adorable. I was so happy for him. For them. Tonks had been a mess the year before and I thanked Merlin that he had come to his senses. Because I had honestly never seen Remus as happy as he was with Tonks.
I confess that I was a little bit surprised when I found out that they were an item. They seemed almost too different. But I learned to love them as a couple. And they were both better people when they were together.
I cried a little when they kissed. They looked so happy and it made me remember my own wedding day. I had been so nervous, betting for something to go wrong, but when I looked into Arthur's eyes I knew that everything was going to be okay. We also got married during a war so I know what that's like. I know what it's like living like everyday could be your last. And I know what it's like to love someone so much that you don't care about anything but being together.
Tonks also cried a little. Happy tears. She cried when they kissed, holding Remus´ robes in a way that told us that she was never letting go. Remus didn't cry. But he looked happy. And he never let go of her hand.
She came around the house one day. I think it was the day before Harry's birthday and I was alone in the kitchen. The kids were off somewhere, probably trying to escape all the things that had to be done before the wedding. Arthur was at work. I was cooking something, I can't remember what. I've cooked a lot of things in my days.
She didn't knock on the door; suddenly she was just standing there, in the middle of the room, smiling at me.
I asked her if everything was all right. She sat down on a chair and just nodded at me, still smiling with her entire face. She sat there for a while without saying anything. I went back to my cooking (I think it was a Sheppard's Pie, but maybe it's just my memory playing tricks with me); thinking that she would tell me what was on her mind when she was ready to. And I was right.
"I'm pregnant." At first I thought that I'd misheard her so I turned around to ask her to say again, but then I saw her face and my words disappeared. She looked so happy, and I recognized the happiness. I've also been that happy. Seven times to be exact.
I didn't know what to say so I just hugged her. She told me it wasn't planned but that she never had been happier. I asked her what Remus thought about it all and she informed me that she hadn't told him yet. I told her that he would be delighted, even though something inside me was telling me otherwise. I knew that Remus wanted children and the kids still went on and on about how great he were when he taught them at Hogwarts, but I also knew that he was a noble man. A man willing to do anything to protect the ones he loved, even if it meant putting himself through hell. Something inside me knew that he would want to be able to give a child everything and that he, in his head, wouldn't be able to do so in a time of war. I didn't know enough about his lycanthropy to tell if that was going to affect the baby but I assumed that it weren't going to be a problem. If it were they should have been more careful.
She also told me that she was a bit afraid; afraid that she wouldn't make a good mother. I told her that I thought she would become an excellent mother, and I wasn't lying. Everybody loved Tonks and she was way smarter then people thought. Most people just saw her as this crazy, young girl who always kept tripping over things. But I saw her as something else.
As did Remus.
I think he fell for her the first time he saw her. She was stumbling over the umbrella stand, looking all embarrassed. She had her pink hair (why pink?) and her cheeks were red. I don't think anyone else noticed but Remus couldn't take his eyes of her. It was wonderful to see him the weeks after that. I hadn't known him for that long, at least not well, but I knew him well enough to be able to recognize that something had changed.
I don't know when she started to fall for him. I'm not sure if she even knew herself. I just remember that something seemed to change around Christmas. Tonks and Remus had always spent a lot of time together but something appeared to be different. They spend almost every waken second together and when they were in a room together they gave each other these looks; looks that you can only recognize if you too have been in love. I didn't really understand what was going on though until I walked in on them kissing in the library. They were both sitting on the sofa, their legs entailed together and hands in each others hair. I excused my self of course, rather shocked by the whole thing, but as I walked down to the kitchen I couldn't help but smile and think that maybe it wasn't such a big surprise after all.
He did leave when he found out.
She was crying in my arms and I wanted to kill Remus Lupin for what he had done. She told me, between the sobs, that he had gone to find Harry, Ron and Hermione. He was going to offer them some help. In a way I wasn't surprised. If Remus knew that he could be of help he didn't hesitate. He would give it all. And I knew that Tonks loved him for that but I also knew that I had never seen the girl that sad (and keep in mind that I knew her during that year; the year that I don't want to think about). I had trouble understanding how a man that nice and friendly and calm could do that much harm, both to himself and to others.
Tonks was beautiful that day, even if she was crying. She had red hair and she was more as a daughter to me that day than she had ever been before. I tried to comfort her, telling her that he would come back, that he would always come back, and that everything was going to be all right. It made the tears slow down but I couldn't make the girl smile.
He did come back.
And I think they healed all the wounds. But the time they got together were too short. They were married for about a year, they only had a few months with their son and they lost the future they were meant to have.
I think about them. Not everyday and not as much as I did before, but I think about them. And I get to see the son that was meant for their eyes, a son that remind me so of them. And he has lost so much and he will never be able to completely understand what I understand; that love actually can conquer all and that his parents were living proof of that. He will never be able to see what I saw when I watched two people so wrong for each other that it had to be right, fall in love and fight whatever needed to be fought, just so the world would keep being a world worth living in.
I will always remember them; always cherish the memories in my heart. I will keep telling stories about them and I will never let the world forget that they existed. Because they made a difference, in my life and in others, and that's something the world should know.