Random Apartment Day
Hiya folks! I just finished this oneshot and I'm very not-so pleased with myself! I guess it's because I was sorta very controversial about it then kinda pathetic but, whatevs! I disclaim owning Death note and that's 'bout it! Soooo, read my pretties, read!
Normal Point of View
Rent a month past due, leaves in the gutters, no food in the fridge or cupboards, and dust bunnies everywhere, seems like it's an abandoned apartment building…No-wait, the ass prints on the Lazy-Boy recliner and video games mean that Mello and Matt are the house's inhabitants, what a surprise. Note the sarcasm.
Taking this situation from a guy's perspective, you can clearly see there is one thing missing from the setting above. In Mello's opinion, it's the bitchy housewife that cooks and cleans after Matt and himself. But, as we all know, being a sexist doesn't get anyone anywhere, does it?
Before some female reader starts having a hissy, let's take a look at a lady's outlook on the guy's living conditions. For example, as quoted, "Da-amn! What the hell lives in this pig sty?! Where the hell did this cond-?! Is that a cockroach?! Ewww! That is damn disgusted! Holy shit there's another! Where's a damn broom?! Oh my God! That's a hairy muffin…gross! Rat's nest! Mice!"
Yeah, very big differing views. The suggestion is that females are way more sanitary than the latter male gender. Who knew? Hold on a second, that's right, no sexist comments shall be allowed to bias the situation…oh well.
Point from the endless controversial ranting is simply really. It's obvious that dudes have no class. No, kidding, it surely means that 1) They're low on cash, so financially unstable; 2) The two are being hunted down for some criminal offense and have to keep a down low. Or 3) Mello and Matt are wallowing in a puddle of self-induced laziness!
Out of the three choices, you can clearly see that the more appropriate one is in fact…the third option. Of course! What better to influence bad cleaning habits than slothfulness and somewhat insensible deeds? Well, living in a top-notch orphanage and--not the idea.
Anyways, let's just check and see a random day in the life of two men roommates living in a dingy worn and torn residence in good ole United States, Los Angeles to be exact.
Tuesday, July 25, Noon, 101 degrees Fahrenheit—at Matt and Mello's Apartment
Beep-Beep-Beep!
"Nya…damn it." Mello muttered, swearing under his breath as he attempted to free himself from his bed sheets. The usual task was easily worsened thanks to the junk laying around the mattress on the floor where he slept. Along with the fact that he was very sweaty and the cotton sheets tended to stick to his body, yeah, it was hell.
Five minutes later
Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep! Slam!
"Ha ha! Gotcha you damn alarm clock!...Why do I even bother to set a clock???" Mello victoriously stated then pondered over a simple question, why did he set an alarm clock? Oh yeah, to throw at the old lady's cat in the window…
So, the sweaty blonde moved sluggishly, constantly tripping and landing on his face to make his way finally to his best friend's living quarters…the couch. Yep, the springs were barely noticeable under all the pizza boxes, Chinese take out containers, and game controller cables.
"…Get up. Hey, Matt, get your ass up. GET THE HELL UP!" Mello exploded, kicking the side of the couch in frustration thus, without the usual presence of his leather boot, successfully stumped his toe.
"OH-MOTH-Damn IT…" He seethed while glaring, almost in tears, at the redhead who began waking up to fix the goggles onto his face while barely addressing the now pissed, and still shirtless, Mello.
Three in the evening (They didn't wake up till noon.)
"What are we having for breakfast?" Matt asked Mello who had a chocolate bar in one hand and a soda in the other.
"Dude, Matt, I don't cook. Have yourself some damn lemonade and some gummy bears and shut up!" Mello answered, bluntly as always.
So, Matt went to the rundown fridge and grabbed the pitcher of pink, mind you, pink lemonade. Pouring some in a glass that didn't have a spider in it, he found the plastic bag of gummy bears from either a month or a year ago, he couldn't recall when. Either way, you have to eat!
"Man, these gummy bears are like, MUTATED! Dude, Mello, man! Check this!" Matt yelled enthusiastically, enthralled by his not-so-great discovery of what happens when the California heat mixes with humidity in a home.
Of course, Matt already knew what two morphed gummy bears looked like and truthfully, he thought it was worth the humiliation just to see Mello smile. Who knew that making one friend happy will bring joy to another?
"Haha, yeah, morphed!" Mello chuckled back, mostly from the funny mask of astonishment on Matt's face.
Five in the Evening (The usual going ons at the wonderful apartment at this time!)
"Hey…pass me the chips." Matt said, sticking out his hand and wriggling his fingers in a 'gimme' motion. Mello replied by stuffing the now empty bag of potato chips in his friend's hand and smirking to himself without removing his eyes from the 'stolen' plasma TV.
"Awww, ain't that some shit! Mells, I kinda wanted to eat some of 'em!" Matt pouted, throwing the bag down at his feet and returning his attention to his PSP, again, which was 'stolen' by the mafia. That was, until they escaped from the mafia and somewhat just "disappeared."
"Eh, quit your damn whining." Came Mello's conclusion, trying to hide the fit of laughter as he glanced out of his eyes to see Matt glaring at him over the top of his game. The funniest part being the fact that Matt had his goggles on and looked well, humorous.
Mello returned his attention to the plasma screen and continued to watch the cheesy scifi movies, snorting unceremoniously at the obviously fake bigfoot character.
Mello seemed to be fairly comfortable at his little wallowed out space on the coffee table where he stretched out like a cat and leaned back. Matt watched his 'partner in crime' from his place on the couch, musing over why the blonde didn't just sit at the recliner.
Eight o'clock in the Evening (Very random!)
"Go fish…ughhh, I'm freakin' sweating to damn near death!" Mello said as he glanced down at his four cards in his hands.
"Geez, uhh, do you have a…squid?" The blonde asked as he watched Matt sigh and hand over the cartoon-ish drawing on cardboard. Mello grinned at the sixth set of pairs he's already forked out of his redheaded companion.
"Dude! You damn rigged this! And, DO NOT try to deny it! I haven't gotten a single match whatsoever! You know what?! THIS is the very reason I hate card and board games! They're sooo damn predictable and expired!" Matt ranted as Mello burst out in a chuckling fit.
What a horrible way to seek some entertainment…oh well! No wonder Matt stuck to playing video games! Everyone knows that cheaters always win as long as they don't get caught but in Mello's case, he still wins!
"…Hmm, it was pretty funny but, I think popcorn will be in order next time." Mello pondered aloud to himself, hoping to aggravate Matt even more.
"There ain't gonna be a next time Mihael!" Matt let Mello's real name slip which caused Mello to cock an eyebrow at.
"Well, Jeevas, I don't really see why not. I never read any rules saying you can't preset set the cards, did you read anything of the sort, Mail?" Mello retorted, using both Matt's real first name and last name, giving himself the upper hand.
"Hmm, guess not! I might have if you didn't chunk them in this oblivion of garbage!" Matt fired back, raising himself from his seat at the kitchen table.
"Hey! Don't get onto me about these living conditions! We don't have to fight about this every god damned day ya' know?! It's not like it's gonna change anytime soon!" Mello exploded by being accused of their apartment's junky being.
"…Sorry." Came Matt's mumbled apology as he retreated back to the couch to perhaps sleep or return to his PSP.
"Huh? Uhh, okay, yeah, apology accepted, I guess." Mello forced to find words, trying to make sense of Matt's sudden sullen change of attitude.
"…Whatever." Matt called back, while lighting a cheap cigarette and taking a drag, all the while plopping himself down onto the not-so-springy couch.
Mello didn't even reply, instead making his way back to his mattress on the ground where their laundry room was. What a shame he lost the coin toss on who got dibs in the living room.
But, then again, having a small stand up fan was better then nothing…
"Another day down, many more to come…" Mello sighed as he laid on his back, looking up at the textured ceiling, making shapes out of the poor molding efforts.
Who would've guessed that the two of them would get up at noon and go back to bed at nine at night? Man, not that's some sleeping behaviors…
Just another day in the life of Mello and Matt…Oh well, they'll eventually get over it.
Okayyy! How was it? I thought it started off better and ended crappy! But, that's my opinion! I worked on this piece for a total of about an hour and a half! Wow, I hope it was worth it…so, review or fave! And until my next oneshot or whatever, PEAS OUT OF DA POD!!! Yay...