To be a ballerina. She had once mentioned to him being a dancer in her childhood, later forced to quit ballet and join Mossad. As an agent, she was graceful on her feet, even in the way she tackled a criminal and fired a gun. A body strong like a dancer's, but the dance had long ago been lost.
Her father's love. Approval was all she'd ever needed. Just confirmation that she was doing the right thing, that her life was not being spent for naught. But Eli David had never shown pride towards his eldest daughter, who so strived to please him. Even after her life was on the line, her father had left her behind. A daughter poised for acceptance, but never was accepted.
To be a mother. A fierce sense of protection lived in her all her life. She needed something that belonged to her, that she could love freely and be loved by in turn. She always would have made a brilliant mother. Beautiful, and caring, and passionate and loving. But her life had robbed her of that opportunity many years and choices ago.
To watch her sister grow. Tali. The only one of her family that hadn't been tainted by war, or violence. The best of all of them. And the first to die. All Ziva had wanted was for her sister to get the life that had been taken from her. She'd had a chance, a fighting chance at life. But that was gone.
Something permanent. Something that couldn't be taken away. Was that so much to ask? She had been robbed by death, and pain, and anger too many times. When she felt something right, it was gone, taken away from her as fast as it came. Permanence evaded her over and over. No, she did not want this life. And this was the only life she was getting.
But in the end, she got one thing she had wanted. Because what would be the worth of her life if it was easy? Or normal? Or simple? She didn't want any of those things. And normally, she got exactly what she didn't want. And maybe life had fun teasing her. But finally it gave her the most important thing in the world. She wanted painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love. And she got that in the end.
So maybe she didn't get the permanence she envisioned. But it came to her through her new family, her team and her new life.
Maybe she never got to see her sister grow. But Ziva grew herself, and through it she gained acceptance.
Maybe she didn't get to be a mother when she'd needed it. But when she'd least expected it, maybe motherhood would give her a chance.
Maybe she never got her father's love. But she didn't need her father's love once she had found something different. She had someone else's love. And it was all the acceptance she'd ever need.
And maybe she never got to be a ballerina. But she had the best dance of her life at her and Tony's wedding.
So, painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love came in many forms. But in the end?
Ziva David got what she wanted.
Thank you for reading this! All I ever wanted for Ziva was a happy ending. And she didn't get that, so I wrote her one. Feel free to leave a review!
xoxo- J