Revenge is no Good at the Movie Theater
By MeatLoaf the Happy Donkey
[MeatLoaf's Note: This is one of the few fanfics I have that was written in the first person point of view. In case you didn't read the summary, Claude Frollo's the guy talking here and he's going to go to see a movie with La Esmeralda and Phoebus. I wrote this shortly after reading the novel, so if you don't recognize a few of the characters, it's because Disney cut a few out when they made it into an animated movie. By the way, I've always imagined Claude Frollo looking like he did in the Disney movie, so he still has that cute hat! ^_^ ]
I was sitting in the chair in my room (as usual) when I heard a strange knock at the door.
"Come in." I said.
The door quietly opened and two nervous looking people walked in. Those two people were none other than my younger brother Jehan and his best buddy Phoebus. What in the world could they be up to now? I had a feeling that I didn't want to find out. I got up out of my chair to greet them anyway but before I could say a word, Jehan starting talking.
"Hey, Claude old buddy old pal! Ya see, me and Phoebus here are in sort of a rut." Said Jehan uneasily.
"Ok, what did you do now?" I asked .
"Well, ya see," started Jehan "there was this girl-"
"A really pretty girl." Interrupted Phoebus.
"Yeah." Continued Jehan. "We kind of promised her that we would take her to see a movie."
"And...?" I asked.
"We kind of...sort of...maybe...don't have any money left." Said Jehan, rather quickly.
Jehan was holding his hat and staring at the floor as though he expected me to give him a lecture about making promises that you can't keep. I almost did, but then I had an idea.
"I'll give you some money to spend while you are with the girl." I said.
"Thank you so much, Claude! I don't know how to repay you!" exclaimed Jehan gratefully.
"But I'll only give you money if I can come along too." I added.
From the look on his face you would have thought that the doctor had told him he had only 3 days to live.
"But brother! Phoebus and I have been looking forward to going on a date with a pretty girl for years! This might be the only chance we get!"
"If you go without me, you go without money."
"Fine! Be that way!" yelled Jehan. "We told her that we'd meet her at the movie theater at 7:00 tomorrow night."
"I'll see you there." I said.
"Great." Said Phoebus sarcastically. "Can we have the money now?"
"Nope." I said. Knowing them, they'd probably spend it all on beer. "I'll give it to you tomorrow at 7:00 when we meet at the movie theater."
Angrily, Phoebus and Johan left the room, slamming the door behind them. Immediately afterwards, I sat down and began to think about what tomorrow might be like. What seemed like a few minutes later, I looked up at the clock and realized just how late it was. Not even bothering to change into my nightclothes, I hopped into bed and quickly fell asleep.
********************************
By the next day, I had forgotten about Jehan and the girl that he had met. But while reading a book that afternoon, I was suddenly reminded of them. I had just barely enough time to get dressed into something more formal and run down town to the movie theater. There I saw Jehan and Phoebus sitting on a bench a few feet from the ticket stand. I ran over to greet them.
"Hello Jehan! Hello Phoebus!" said I. "Is the girl here yet?"
"No, not yet." Said Jehan sadly.
Suddenly, Jehan jumped from his seat and pointed to something behind me.
"Here she comes!" exclaimed Jehan cheerfully.
I turned around instinctively and saw that wretched gypsy girl and her miserable goat walking towards us! Surly Esmeralda is not the girl that Jehan was telling me about the day before!
"Hey Esmeralda!" Phoebus said. "Are you ready to watch a movie?"
"Of course! But what is he doing here?" said Esmeralda in disgust when she noticed me. Her radiant smile quickly transformed into a frown.
Oh how I wished I could run away! But after begging to come yesterday, I couldn't just leave. So I was forced to say "I'm coming along too."
"Why would someone evil like you want to watch a movie?" she asked.
"I was about to ask the same thing about you." I exclaimed bitterly.
As quick as lightning, she clenched her fists and struck me with the force of a bull in the middle of my stomach. I doubled over with pain and fell to the ground. By then I was seething with rage and I slowly pulled myself off the ground. I was about to hit her, but Jehan came between us and said "Break it up! Break it up! We came here to watch a movie, not a wrestling match."
I then realized that now was not the time to fight. But as we stood in line for the tickets, I swore to myself that I would have my revenge.
*********************************
After standing in line for 10 minutes to buy tickets, we headed over to the snack bar to wait in an even longer line. It didn't seem like very long to me because I was thinking so hard about ways to get back at Esmeralda. Inspiration struck me just as she was about to order her snacks.
"I want a small diet Coke with no ice and a small popcorn with no butter." She told the teenager who was standing on the opposite side of the counter.
As soon as she received her food, she sat down on the bench.
Next it was Jehan's turn to order.
"Ok," he said. "I want a large popcorn with extra butter, A large Dr. Pepper, 5 Butterfinger bars, and 2 Hershey bars."
Phoebus ordered the same thing and they went and sat down next to Esmeralda.
I stepped up to the counter and said "I would like a large Dr. Pepper, gummy bears, 2 Hershey bars, and popcorn with extra butter."
"Ok, mister." Said the guy behind the counter. "That will be a total of $53.92"
"How do you figure that?"
"The gypsy girl who was here a few minutes ago said that you were paying for hers and the other two guy's food."
Even though I was beside myself with anger, I didn't want to make a big deal about the situation so I quietly paid the boy and walked over to where my comrades were sitting.
"You three stay here while I find the right screen." I said.
"Thanks." Said Phoebus.
"Yeah." Agreed Jehan.
Esmeralda simply twitched her lip a bit as she glared at me.
I carried my snacks and soon found a room with a row of 5 seats that was halfway between the screen and the back of the room. It would be perfect for what I was planning. One seat for me, a seat for Jehan, a seat for Phoebus, a seat for Djali the goat and a seat for.......Esmeralda. I poured Dr. Pepper and popcorn butter and chocolate all over the seat behind the tallest person. I'm sure you can figure out who I wanted to sit there. Leaving my snacks behind on the floor, I went back to Jehan, Phoebus, and Esmeralda.
"I found the perfect seats!" I exclaimed.
Everyone got up and followed me. When we reached the seats, I bent down to pick up my snacks off the floor but when I got up I saw that the goat had taken my seat and the only chair left was the one I had stained with snacks! I knew I couldn't sit on the floor, it's just as dirty as the chair. And I couldn't stand up because it would block other people's view and they'd surly get mad so my only choice was to sit down on the ruined chair and hope that the chocolate didn't stain my clothes.
"Oh well." I thought to myself. "I sure hope the movie is a good one."
In a few minutes, the lights darkened. By leaning a bit to the left because of the tall man sitting in front of me, I read on the movie screen these words: "And now for our feature presentation: Barney's Big Adventure."
Astounded, I looked around and saw that most of the people in the theater were between the ages of 2 and 5.
"Look mommy!" Said a little girl as she pointed at me. "Old people like Barney too!"
Jehan leaned over and whispered in my ear "Why didn't you ever tell me that you liked Barney?"
"I don't like Barney!" I whispered back.
"It's okay to admit it." He replied. "I won't tell anyone."
"I don't like Barney!" I said a little too loud.
All the children turned around and glared at me and the little 5-year-old who sat behind me began to kick my chair and yell "Barney hater!". After she tired herself out and stopped, I thought that I might be able to enjoy the film. But alas! The man in front of me was so tall I couldn't even see the screen!
Then I remembered that I was sitting on a pile of chocolate, soda, and popcorn so I decided to try to clean it up. I rose from my chair and exited the theater while trying desperately to cover up the stain on my clothes with my hat. I quickly ran to the bathroom to get some paper towels, but all they had was a hand dryer. But if I couldn't clean up the mess on the chair, I could at least try to get the mess off my clothes. I walked over to the sink and turned the faucet handle ever so slightly. The water came gushing out and drenched my clothes.
"This is just not my day." I said to myself.
Not even bothering to dry off, I walked back to the theater. When I got there, I found that a fat guy was sitting in my chair!
"Um...sir?" said I. "May I please have my chair back now?"
"But the girl with the goat over there said that nobody was sitting here!"
I glanced over at Esmeralda and saw her trying to suppress a laugh.
"I'll tell ya what." Said the fat man. "I'll give you you're seat back if you give me your snacks."
"Fine." I said angrily. I handed him the popcorn, the soda, and the candy.
"All right!" said the fat guy enthusiastically as he slowly rose from the seat and exited the theater.
I sat back down in my seat. Not only was it covered with melted candy and popcorn, it was now disgustingly warm. Judging by what I heard in the movie, I could tell that it wasn't even near the end. When I am bored, I tend to fall asleep and Barney movies are no where near entertaining. So I allowed myself to be drifted off to sleep by the sound of the "I love you, you love me" song.
What seemed like a few seconds later I was jerked back into reality when I felt something pulling on my hat. I quickly turned around and saw the three year old girl trying to rip up my hat.
"Give that back!" I whispered to her angrily.
"No!" yelled the little girl. "I found it so it's mine, mister old funny man!"
"Give it to me now, you little brat!" said I as I made a grab for my hat.
Tears started swelling up in her eyes and she let my hat fall to the ground. I quickly snatched it up and turned back around in my seat. Just as I was about to place my hat back on my head, Esmeralda stood up, pointed to me, and yelled "Hey look everybody! That old guy made that little girl cry!"
As I have mentioned before, most of the people in the theater were under the age of 5 so as soon as they heard the little girl crying, they burst into sobs too. Upon hearing the noise, several security guards came in and picked me up out of my seat.
"Sir, I'm afraid we're going to have to ask you to leave." They said this before I could say anything my defense.
They dragged me out of the movie theater and left me outside by the road. When they left, I sat down and leaned against the brick building with my hat at my side.
*******************************
After a while, a punk with a leather jacket came up to me. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a coin.
"Get a job ya lazy bum." Said he as he flipped the coin into my hat. Then he walked away.
I reached into my hat and pulled out the coin. It was only a quarter but it was still enough to buy a can of generic coke. I went over to the soda machine that was conveniently placed only 10 feet away from me. I put in the coin, pressed a button, and out popped a can of soda.
I sat back down in my previous position and opened the can and it sprayed all over me.
"Stupid thing!" I yelled angrily.
I threw the can out in the street the very moment when Esmeralda, Jehan, and Phoebus walked out of the movie theater.
"Officer!" screamed Esmeralda to a policeman across the street. "He's littering!"
The officer slowly walked across the street and looked at me. He pulled a little note pad out of his pocket and started scribbling on it.
"Sir, the fine for littering is $100."
I cursed at Esmeralda under my breath and then paid the officer who then went back to the other side of the street.
"I had a wonderful time tonight!" said Esmeralda in a sickeningly cute voice. "Lets all get together again same time next week."
"Sure!" said Jehan.
"Ok!" said Phoebus.
Esmeralda began to walk away when she suddenly turned around and said with an evil grin "You're invited to come too, Claude Frollo."
"I hate my life."
The End...or is it?
By MeatLoaf the Happy Donkey
[MeatLoaf's Note: This is one of the few fanfics I have that was written in the first person point of view. In case you didn't read the summary, Claude Frollo's the guy talking here and he's going to go to see a movie with La Esmeralda and Phoebus. I wrote this shortly after reading the novel, so if you don't recognize a few of the characters, it's because Disney cut a few out when they made it into an animated movie. By the way, I've always imagined Claude Frollo looking like he did in the Disney movie, so he still has that cute hat! ^_^ ]
I was sitting in the chair in my room (as usual) when I heard a strange knock at the door.
"Come in." I said.
The door quietly opened and two nervous looking people walked in. Those two people were none other than my younger brother Jehan and his best buddy Phoebus. What in the world could they be up to now? I had a feeling that I didn't want to find out. I got up out of my chair to greet them anyway but before I could say a word, Jehan starting talking.
"Hey, Claude old buddy old pal! Ya see, me and Phoebus here are in sort of a rut." Said Jehan uneasily.
"Ok, what did you do now?" I asked .
"Well, ya see," started Jehan "there was this girl-"
"A really pretty girl." Interrupted Phoebus.
"Yeah." Continued Jehan. "We kind of promised her that we would take her to see a movie."
"And...?" I asked.
"We kind of...sort of...maybe...don't have any money left." Said Jehan, rather quickly.
Jehan was holding his hat and staring at the floor as though he expected me to give him a lecture about making promises that you can't keep. I almost did, but then I had an idea.
"I'll give you some money to spend while you are with the girl." I said.
"Thank you so much, Claude! I don't know how to repay you!" exclaimed Jehan gratefully.
"But I'll only give you money if I can come along too." I added.
From the look on his face you would have thought that the doctor had told him he had only 3 days to live.
"But brother! Phoebus and I have been looking forward to going on a date with a pretty girl for years! This might be the only chance we get!"
"If you go without me, you go without money."
"Fine! Be that way!" yelled Jehan. "We told her that we'd meet her at the movie theater at 7:00 tomorrow night."
"I'll see you there." I said.
"Great." Said Phoebus sarcastically. "Can we have the money now?"
"Nope." I said. Knowing them, they'd probably spend it all on beer. "I'll give it to you tomorrow at 7:00 when we meet at the movie theater."
Angrily, Phoebus and Johan left the room, slamming the door behind them. Immediately afterwards, I sat down and began to think about what tomorrow might be like. What seemed like a few minutes later, I looked up at the clock and realized just how late it was. Not even bothering to change into my nightclothes, I hopped into bed and quickly fell asleep.
********************************
By the next day, I had forgotten about Jehan and the girl that he had met. But while reading a book that afternoon, I was suddenly reminded of them. I had just barely enough time to get dressed into something more formal and run down town to the movie theater. There I saw Jehan and Phoebus sitting on a bench a few feet from the ticket stand. I ran over to greet them.
"Hello Jehan! Hello Phoebus!" said I. "Is the girl here yet?"
"No, not yet." Said Jehan sadly.
Suddenly, Jehan jumped from his seat and pointed to something behind me.
"Here she comes!" exclaimed Jehan cheerfully.
I turned around instinctively and saw that wretched gypsy girl and her miserable goat walking towards us! Surly Esmeralda is not the girl that Jehan was telling me about the day before!
"Hey Esmeralda!" Phoebus said. "Are you ready to watch a movie?"
"Of course! But what is he doing here?" said Esmeralda in disgust when she noticed me. Her radiant smile quickly transformed into a frown.
Oh how I wished I could run away! But after begging to come yesterday, I couldn't just leave. So I was forced to say "I'm coming along too."
"Why would someone evil like you want to watch a movie?" she asked.
"I was about to ask the same thing about you." I exclaimed bitterly.
As quick as lightning, she clenched her fists and struck me with the force of a bull in the middle of my stomach. I doubled over with pain and fell to the ground. By then I was seething with rage and I slowly pulled myself off the ground. I was about to hit her, but Jehan came between us and said "Break it up! Break it up! We came here to watch a movie, not a wrestling match."
I then realized that now was not the time to fight. But as we stood in line for the tickets, I swore to myself that I would have my revenge.
*********************************
After standing in line for 10 minutes to buy tickets, we headed over to the snack bar to wait in an even longer line. It didn't seem like very long to me because I was thinking so hard about ways to get back at Esmeralda. Inspiration struck me just as she was about to order her snacks.
"I want a small diet Coke with no ice and a small popcorn with no butter." She told the teenager who was standing on the opposite side of the counter.
As soon as she received her food, she sat down on the bench.
Next it was Jehan's turn to order.
"Ok," he said. "I want a large popcorn with extra butter, A large Dr. Pepper, 5 Butterfinger bars, and 2 Hershey bars."
Phoebus ordered the same thing and they went and sat down next to Esmeralda.
I stepped up to the counter and said "I would like a large Dr. Pepper, gummy bears, 2 Hershey bars, and popcorn with extra butter."
"Ok, mister." Said the guy behind the counter. "That will be a total of $53.92"
"How do you figure that?"
"The gypsy girl who was here a few minutes ago said that you were paying for hers and the other two guy's food."
Even though I was beside myself with anger, I didn't want to make a big deal about the situation so I quietly paid the boy and walked over to where my comrades were sitting.
"You three stay here while I find the right screen." I said.
"Thanks." Said Phoebus.
"Yeah." Agreed Jehan.
Esmeralda simply twitched her lip a bit as she glared at me.
I carried my snacks and soon found a room with a row of 5 seats that was halfway between the screen and the back of the room. It would be perfect for what I was planning. One seat for me, a seat for Jehan, a seat for Phoebus, a seat for Djali the goat and a seat for.......Esmeralda. I poured Dr. Pepper and popcorn butter and chocolate all over the seat behind the tallest person. I'm sure you can figure out who I wanted to sit there. Leaving my snacks behind on the floor, I went back to Jehan, Phoebus, and Esmeralda.
"I found the perfect seats!" I exclaimed.
Everyone got up and followed me. When we reached the seats, I bent down to pick up my snacks off the floor but when I got up I saw that the goat had taken my seat and the only chair left was the one I had stained with snacks! I knew I couldn't sit on the floor, it's just as dirty as the chair. And I couldn't stand up because it would block other people's view and they'd surly get mad so my only choice was to sit down on the ruined chair and hope that the chocolate didn't stain my clothes.
"Oh well." I thought to myself. "I sure hope the movie is a good one."
In a few minutes, the lights darkened. By leaning a bit to the left because of the tall man sitting in front of me, I read on the movie screen these words: "And now for our feature presentation: Barney's Big Adventure."
Astounded, I looked around and saw that most of the people in the theater were between the ages of 2 and 5.
"Look mommy!" Said a little girl as she pointed at me. "Old people like Barney too!"
Jehan leaned over and whispered in my ear "Why didn't you ever tell me that you liked Barney?"
"I don't like Barney!" I whispered back.
"It's okay to admit it." He replied. "I won't tell anyone."
"I don't like Barney!" I said a little too loud.
All the children turned around and glared at me and the little 5-year-old who sat behind me began to kick my chair and yell "Barney hater!". After she tired herself out and stopped, I thought that I might be able to enjoy the film. But alas! The man in front of me was so tall I couldn't even see the screen!
Then I remembered that I was sitting on a pile of chocolate, soda, and popcorn so I decided to try to clean it up. I rose from my chair and exited the theater while trying desperately to cover up the stain on my clothes with my hat. I quickly ran to the bathroom to get some paper towels, but all they had was a hand dryer. But if I couldn't clean up the mess on the chair, I could at least try to get the mess off my clothes. I walked over to the sink and turned the faucet handle ever so slightly. The water came gushing out and drenched my clothes.
"This is just not my day." I said to myself.
Not even bothering to dry off, I walked back to the theater. When I got there, I found that a fat guy was sitting in my chair!
"Um...sir?" said I. "May I please have my chair back now?"
"But the girl with the goat over there said that nobody was sitting here!"
I glanced over at Esmeralda and saw her trying to suppress a laugh.
"I'll tell ya what." Said the fat man. "I'll give you you're seat back if you give me your snacks."
"Fine." I said angrily. I handed him the popcorn, the soda, and the candy.
"All right!" said the fat guy enthusiastically as he slowly rose from the seat and exited the theater.
I sat back down in my seat. Not only was it covered with melted candy and popcorn, it was now disgustingly warm. Judging by what I heard in the movie, I could tell that it wasn't even near the end. When I am bored, I tend to fall asleep and Barney movies are no where near entertaining. So I allowed myself to be drifted off to sleep by the sound of the "I love you, you love me" song.
What seemed like a few seconds later I was jerked back into reality when I felt something pulling on my hat. I quickly turned around and saw the three year old girl trying to rip up my hat.
"Give that back!" I whispered to her angrily.
"No!" yelled the little girl. "I found it so it's mine, mister old funny man!"
"Give it to me now, you little brat!" said I as I made a grab for my hat.
Tears started swelling up in her eyes and she let my hat fall to the ground. I quickly snatched it up and turned back around in my seat. Just as I was about to place my hat back on my head, Esmeralda stood up, pointed to me, and yelled "Hey look everybody! That old guy made that little girl cry!"
As I have mentioned before, most of the people in the theater were under the age of 5 so as soon as they heard the little girl crying, they burst into sobs too. Upon hearing the noise, several security guards came in and picked me up out of my seat.
"Sir, I'm afraid we're going to have to ask you to leave." They said this before I could say anything my defense.
They dragged me out of the movie theater and left me outside by the road. When they left, I sat down and leaned against the brick building with my hat at my side.
*******************************
After a while, a punk with a leather jacket came up to me. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a coin.
"Get a job ya lazy bum." Said he as he flipped the coin into my hat. Then he walked away.
I reached into my hat and pulled out the coin. It was only a quarter but it was still enough to buy a can of generic coke. I went over to the soda machine that was conveniently placed only 10 feet away from me. I put in the coin, pressed a button, and out popped a can of soda.
I sat back down in my previous position and opened the can and it sprayed all over me.
"Stupid thing!" I yelled angrily.
I threw the can out in the street the very moment when Esmeralda, Jehan, and Phoebus walked out of the movie theater.
"Officer!" screamed Esmeralda to a policeman across the street. "He's littering!"
The officer slowly walked across the street and looked at me. He pulled a little note pad out of his pocket and started scribbling on it.
"Sir, the fine for littering is $100."
I cursed at Esmeralda under my breath and then paid the officer who then went back to the other side of the street.
"I had a wonderful time tonight!" said Esmeralda in a sickeningly cute voice. "Lets all get together again same time next week."
"Sure!" said Jehan.
"Ok!" said Phoebus.
Esmeralda began to walk away when she suddenly turned around and said with an evil grin "You're invited to come too, Claude Frollo."
"I hate my life."
The End...or is it?