Title: Here I Stand Alone

Author: Hathor

Feedback: LadyRaistlin@hotmail.com

Rating: PG

Pairings: Jack/Daniel

Category: Angst

Date: June 2003

Status: Complete

Archive: Alpha Gate, Area52.

Spoilers: 'Meridian'

Archive: http://www.squidge.org/~hathor/

Disclaimer: Sadly these characters are not mine, but Daniel haunts my dreams.

Notes: A short little angst fic. Thanks to Annie for beta-ing – as always you are

an angel. Dedicated to all those whom have seen the "What if" video, especially

my cherished UK listsibs on FDAS, AlphaGate and MSF. 'Here I Stand Alone' is a

small snippet of an event that may or may not have ever happened.

Summary: What if I had never let you go….

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Here I Stand Alone ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So I stand alone in the darkness. The shadows lengthened a while ago and my

ethereal brightness does little to diminish them. I don't really know, but if I had

to guess, I would say they lengthened when I turned away from you. Turned

away to walk my own path.

For such a long time I watched and waited for you.

I always believed that life was a journey of many roads. Some you chose, some

chose you. And if you were lucky, you would have companions along the way.

Friends. Soul mates.

So the question spins around my head – what was there, between you and I?

Some days I believed it was something special, something unique. Something

you only experience once, or if you are lucky, twice in a lifetime. The spark of

something special, something beyond words. Yet other days you made me

believe that there was nothing but distance between us. That all I tried to believe

in was a lie.

What if I had never turned away?

Some days I believe that I deserved to have you there by my side. Other days I

shied from knowing you, since when did the cosmos look kindly on me? So in the

end I chose the lesser pain, although my heart may never forgive me.

If only we could change the past.

Just once more in my life, I wanted to fight for something for me. Not for a

cause, or a flag, or because it was right. But for something that I needed, that I

wanted. I would have fought for you, died for you.

And so, in the blink of an eye, I made my decision.

And I did.

The glass shattered, and at that instance so did my heart.

So I ask, if I stayed…..

If you tried…..

If we could turn back time…..

But I guess we'll never know…..

Godspeed, Jack. Wherever your path takes you.

~*~

"What if I had never let you go

Would you be the man I used to know

If I stayed, if you tried

If we could only turn back time

But I guess we'll never know…."

~ 'What If' by Kate Winslet

~ The End ~