Orokid: I really don't have much to say about this, other than the fact that I started to write this out and I sort of needed to finish it- and then I saw the last episode and… Yeah, I added that in at the end. The ending is a little rushed, but I kinda forgot much of the final episode as I wrote and worked on what I did remember- seasons one through four (which are the ones I bought)- and tried to finish from that. So… yeah, not very good, but I did well enough. Lol. Hope you enjoy it, despite the errors and all.
Ever so slightly AU, in case anyone cares.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything that has to do with Smallville, although it is very easy to fall in love with Chloe Sullivan throughout the entire series. Thus, why I write fanfiction instead of try to become an actual writer on the show… Cries Why was is cancelled????
TT
I shall miss you, Smallville!!!
Teardrops On My Guitar
Clark hadn't ever taken a glance her way when they had been in high school unless it had been for encouragement. That was the way it used to be, and that was what she remembered about their times together above all else. She had always been the person for him to turn to, the one he went to for advice, and the thing she wanted most from him was something he wouldn't- no, couldn't- give her.
For once, when he looked at her, she wanted to see passion there instead of that same warm glance of friendship she'd seen since that day they met so long ago. For once, she wanted to be that thing he adored the most.
But it wasn't as if she had asked him to do more than he did really. Day in and day out, she would offer advice about the girl he loved and adored, or give him comfort when things didn't go his way. She would smile and laugh when all she wanted to do was smack him as hard as she could and try her best to force him to see that she cared for him as more than a friend should.
Yet they would return to the usual conversations, encouraging him when she didn't want to and consoling him when she needed to be consoled. It would always return to her, the one that would-have could-have should-have been prom queen, and she would go home with unshed tears in her eyes.
Lana Lang received all that she had ever wanted ever since high school had begun, and she hated that truth above everything else.
But what did she, Clark's closest friend since middle school, get? The crown she didn't want, memories she wished she could forget, scars that were either metaphorical or real… Those were the prizes for a woman that yearned for a single man's touch alone.
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll be she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without
Clark never knew the depths of emotions that she felt when she was with him, despite all of those obvious hints that she had given him. He never understood how she felt like dying whenever he became dumb, deaf and blind to everyone in the world- including her, who had stood by him through the thick and thin and loved him all the while- when his beloved Lana was in the same room as them.
He, in his stupor, never knew that she felt the exact same way whenever she was with him. Whenever he would make teasing remarks towards anyone and anything, she was the one to laugh hard and loud because, to her, almost every joke he told was amusing on some level or another. She forgot each and every time that they were surrounded by their peers, even their friends, until someone would question them what was so funny.
As usual, like most of their conversations, it would return to the one whom she'd rather never speak of for the rest of her life. She was the perfect example of a woman, and he certainly couldn't think of loving anyone other than her… She's the most beautiful thing he's ever laid his eyes upon… She was the woman from his wildest dreams…
Clark never took into consideration how he was the only one who appeared from her own dreams into real life. Never.
And, certainly, she could only debate what hurt her more- all those things that he told her time and time again about another woman or the fact that he never took a look at her without looking beyond their exterior friendship.
Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night
She felt stupid each and every time she would return home after having her heart ripped in two all over again for the thousandth time in a row. Each time her head hit the pillows on her bed, she'd cry those tears she foolishly held back each day she became disappointed when he couldn't see past his beloved Lana. He was the reason why she had articles that had to be rewritten over and over again due to certain water droplets that had somehow found their way onto her papers.
Yet, while he was the one who had caused her so much pain, she still waited for him. She was still hoping, even now, that he would fly back into her arms and stay there for the rest of eternity. He was anything and everything to her, and she was reminded of him in all that she saw or did throughout her days.
But he would always be in love with a girl she could never be. Maybe… Maybe it was knowing that that hurt her the most.
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
There were days when he wouldn't even see her in the halls, and he would be talking about one thing or another with his continued obsession. He'd saunter on by, forgetting the rest of the world's existence, and she would watch him as he left her standing by her locker, mouth open after trying to catch his attention ever so briefly. It would only be when they had turn into another hall or out of her sight completely when she would finally pull her eyes away and take in a breath that she hadn't even been aware of holding.
How could he do that to her every moment that they would spend together? How was it that he could walk just so and catch only her attention? And how could he not know that she loved him oh so dearly when every friend she had could see through her tough act?
All she knew was that she hoped that that woman he adored so would care for him, would hold him and love him just as he wished he could do with her. She hoped that she would realize how lucky she really was to be able to have the man she loved, to have his attention whenever she wanted it. She got to look into those green eyes of his and see the one who adored her wholly, who hid his biggest secrets from her so that she wouldn't be harmed because of him, who… who loved her.
If only she, his best friend (a title that she had begun to be ill of), could have just that…
Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
But he wouldn't have to worry about her any longer, and it was of that that she knew that she could leave this place so peacefully. The man she loved didn't love her but loved another, her cousin had been dead in her arms… It was only natural to save the only thing one has left in such a time, and she would've done it for him- if only he would've let her.
Still… her heart felt that it was right to leave him now, to spare her cousins life and sacrifice hers so that she might be with her friends and family, with the ones who had died for her and her beloved friend. It was right.
She just wished that, for once, she could have made him feel a little towards her before then. For once, she had wanted him to kiss her and not have it be the other way around like it had been for so long already. She had wasted so much time with him already, even if it felt as though there had been no time wasted at all, and it… it was just…
Alright, so she might've been a little bitter about it, about dying without having being loved by the one she felt as though she belonged to. It wasn't right and she didn't feel alright with what was happening but… it was just how fate was turning out to become. She couldn't fight something that was going to get her no matter what was going to happen, and she refused to for her final moments.
How she wished that he was there to witness her final moments…
So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough for me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into…
She could see that 'bright light' all of those fanatic heaven believers talked of, the one that those who had been close to dying spoke of, whenever they felt as though they had once upon a time flat lined- just like she knew she was doing right then.
But something, although she couldn't think of who or what it was, took hold of her shoulders and shook them gently- then violently so to make sure that it wasn't a lie. Yes, she was dead, genius. What part of pasty complexion, not breathing and still movement didn't they understand? If she were alive, or even close to it, she knew that she would have been rolling those hazel eyes of hers.
Arms encircled her body, pulling her in as close as they could to their body, holding her as though she were a porcelain dolls that had been close to breaking upon a hard floor. Their voice tried to speak many time, although often ended up merely choking on tears. "C-Chloe! No, don't die… Don't die on me. No…"
Even if it was sort of a premonition of sorts, she worked up the muscle strength to leave with a smile… She would go to her grave loving him, and she was glad that he was there, even for just a moment, before making her final assent…
Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see…
FIN
Orokid: So… Yeah, what do you think? I would love reviews! Authors (like me) live for criticism, so I would really appreciate it if you sent me some.
PS- yes, I know that Clark wasn't there at the end, but… yeah. SLIGHTLY AU.