Title: Never Give Up
Chapter 1 - A Part of Me

Summary: After everything they had been through in their personal and professional lives, Severide wasn't giving up on Casey without a fight – even if that meant never leaving his side until he knew for certain they were leaving the hospital at the same time. But at what personal cost to Severide? Based on eppy 2.10 'Not Like This' Contains some spoilers

Disclaimer: Chicago Fire and its characters are the property of Dick Wolfe, NBC and….well sadly not me

WARNING: you might need a Kleenex…or two (hey just saying!) or…you might not!

Note: "Words in double quotes and italics taken directly from the eppy"

"What do they say at the academy? One shift can change someone's life?"

As he stares down at Casey's struggling frame, strapped down to the stretcher those words spoken earlier by his friend, his bonded brother, come back to haunt him. DAMN YOU CASEY! His mind shouts in misery as his watery eyes fix on the blood and soot on Casey's face; the blood on his slightly bare chest and his lightly convulsing frame. Why the hell did he….his mind continues to spiral downward as he sits helplessly while Dawson shouts at Casey to come back to them. This…this can't be happening….his inner voice laments as his fists ball and his eyes frantically try to keep terrified tears at bay.

I've been here…right here…hearing Matt beg Hallie and now…now its me…begging Matt to come back to us…not like this…please God…not like this…NOT AT ALL!

"Matt…" Severide's lips utter as his mind zooms back in time, hearing Boden frantically calling Casey's name in the midst of the thick, deadly smoke. The beam had fallen. The locator started to scream. They all rushed in…panic literally gripping his heart and refusing to let go until Casey was safe.

"Come on buddy….come on…Casey!"

"Casey!" The call….the tone…the sheer horrified panic…watching Casey finally stumble from the fiery structure with the helpless baby in his grasp; everyone rushing toward him. WHY THE HELL DID HE RISK HIS LIFE! But it's an unanswerable, rhetorical question – that was him…it was Casey…it was the job. He would have done the same; risking his life and thinking only in that moment about who he was helping…not who he'd be leaving behind.

"Hold him…" Dawson's voice tries to break into his thoughts in the racing ambulance; Casey's body going into a light convulsion from a brain spasm. "Kelly!"

Severide finally snaps back to reality and takes a hold of Casey's flailing arms as Dawson struggles to get the oxygen mask over his mouth. He watches Casey's eyes flutter, seeing only the whites at the bottoms and feeling his stomach literally lurch. You have to be strong…be strong for Casey…you have to be! As he holds Casey's jerking frame, his mind racing back to their discussion about it being their last working shift together…they were both so…deflated. They had worked so hard to get the House to where they wanted it and then…but not a few hours later things had changed, the neighbourhood…friends…professional colleagues rallied around them and their House was saved. McLeod was gone and their professional relationship back on track.

And then…this…

"He has to make it," Severide whispers as he looks down at the mask as its fitted over Casey's bloody mouth to give him a fresh supply of oxygen to his tortured lungs. "Please Matt…" he begs in such a deft whisper that only those with supersonic hearing would be able to pick it up over the beeping machines and blaring sirens. "He has to…"

I can't watch him die like this…not like this…not ever! He has to pull through…his mind fervently prays over and over as his hand dares to reach out and rest on his shoulder, his senses picking up the heat that was still emanating from his jacket from the tense call – their last call? The thought of never working with Casey again was almost too much to bear; a professional partnership under threat of divide because of one angry woman's hatred. Is that why he did this? To prove something? To show that if this was the end, he was going out in a blaze of glory? WHY! Oh God….why…Severide's mind tries to ponder the abject misery that has taken hold of him at watching his friend fighting for his life. No! Snap out of it! The House is fine and this is just Casey….he…damn he shouldn't have gone back!

"Matt, you listen to me," Severide begs in a soft whisper, as his watery eyes fix on Casey's unblinking eyes. "You are not checking out like this you hear me. You're NOT!" His voice shouts, making even Dawson jump slightly. "You're not," he manages once more in a sad lament, in a softer tone, as he quickly wipes away any burgeoning tears.

His mind thinks back to Andy's death…the month afterward when he nearly lost Casey to a floor collapse, his mind and heart racing as he looked down into the hole and gazed frantically upon Casey's unmoving frame. He climbed down and despite the fact that Hermann was down and the fire was raging around them, his one thought…his only thought was to make sure Casey was okay. 'You okay? Hey…are you okay?' The soft, vulnerability in Casey's somewhat watery eyes forced him to realize just how close he had come to losing him…and now…maybe again…maybe for good.

"He has to pull through," Severide utters in soft panic once more as he looks up at the mobile monitors and then back down at Casey's eerily placid expression. "Matt you listen to my voice…you fight your way back. You hear me? YOU FIGHT! DON'T GIVE UP!" He shouts, not caring what anyone else around him would think; he wasn't going to let his friend go down without a fight. Never give up…Casey wouldn't…he'd never give up on you…don't give up on him now. NEVER GIVE UP! "Don't…give up."

They finally reach the hospital and despite the request, more like orders from Dawson and the doctor's, Severide's hand rests on the side of the stretcher; not letting go.

"I'm sorry Sir you have to wait here."

"I'm coming with him!"

"You need to let go."

"He's family!" He snaps, pulling back only when he feels Shay's hand on his shoulder. "He's…" his voice catches into a soft gasp as he turns and buries himself in Shay's comforting grasp. "Shay…"

"He's like you…he's too stubborn to die," she tries to console him; her mind however not sure of what Casey's real medical status would be.

"Shay he…he heard the order…the order to pull back…but he didn't and now…now he's lying there…all because of some damn baby!" He hisses as he pulls away with his jaw clenched; Shay in tow. "I'm sorry…I…I didn't mean that. I didn't."

"I know you didn't because I know you would have and have done the same. Casey's the same as you and that's why seeing him like that hurts so much…I know you think of yourself as his protector at times…" she whispers as he looks at her with a heavy frown. "It's obvious to those that look. And knowing he did the same that you would have done hurts, but now he's…he'll be okay."

"I can't lose him…not another," Severide states firmly as he pulls away and heads for the closed doors to the ER surgical room; his eyes darting through the thick Plexiglas and resting on the team of medical professionals swarming around Casey's unmoving frame. "Come on Matt….you gotta pull through," he mumbles as he watches one of the doctor's look up at the monitors a few seconds before it starts to offer a panicked sound. "Oh God no…please God no…not like this," he chants over and over as his anxiously teeters on his feet in his fixed spot before the thick doors.

His mind races back once more to that moment…seeing Casey stumbling from the burning building…baby in his grasp…blood on his face…under his mask…a sight out of a terrifying horror movie. But in that moment he felt as if he was frozen in time…his brain not knowing whether to scold or praise…maybe a combination of both? But he the longer he let his eyes linger on Casey's posture, moments later it stumbling to the ground in an unconscious heap, he knew…something was terribly wrong.

'CASEY' Severide's mind recalls as he finally found the strength to move from place and rush toward Casey's fallen side; frantic hands scrambling to get one of their very own up and onto the stretcher, time against them as they raced to save his precious life.

"Don't give up Matt…" he mumbles, his worried eyes fixed on the busy little team; his frame only acknowledging someone else was about to invade his personal space as soon as the warm hand clamps down on his shoulder.

"He's a fighter Kelly."

"This is wrong…damn he should have…he should have listened," Severide's tight lips offer with a small growl; his eyes still fixed on Casey's placid expression a few meters away.

"Should I ground him when he wakes up?" Boden replies lightly as Severide turns and looks at him with a sharp frown. "I'm just as anxious as you. I don't want to lose him either. Maybe now you two will listen to me?"

"Chief…"

"Kelly, I have no answers. This morning Casey was telling me to fight for the House and now he's in there fighting for his life. We got our House back and now…I wish I had better answers for you but I don't. All we can do is hope and pray."

"Yeah…" Severide lightly huffs as he turns back and shakes his head. "We've been so caught up in personal things as of late that you almost take it for granted someone you care about will just be there…all the time…just be there," he confesses as Boden offers his squad Lieutenant a downcast glance. "Was the same after Andy died…I remember looking down through that floor and seeing Casey just lying there thinking it was too late. Today…it happened again. Not again. Not like this."

Boden offers no words…there were none aside from the ones he already offered, 'he's strong…a fighter…he'll pull through…' that he could give to take away the younger man's internal pain. Only Casey, himself, telling them he was going to be okay would suffice; would ease Severide's mental torment at being so helpless to try to help save his friend.

Severide watches one of the doctor's pull away and head toward them with a somewhat grim expression. "Oh no…"

"Let's not panic just yet," Boden calmly reminds him as the older man pushes through the doors and stares at the two firefighters before him.

"Family of Matthew Casey?"

"Is he okay?" Severide asks almost before the doctor can finish his sentence.

"He's experienced an epidural hematoma; severe blunt force trauma to the back of his skull and there is considerable swelling. We've done what we can to drain the fluids and he's in surgery right now to remove the blood build up."

"What?" Severide asks weakly. "He'll make it right?"

"We don't know that right now. It will all depend on how he survives the surgery. He's lucky that we were able to get him in so fast, that will help his chances of survival, but right now we just don't know. He also has a hairline fracture to his skull but we cannot tell right now if there is any brain damage, the swelling and bruising need to subside before we can do anything further."

"What does that mean?" Severide demands impatiently.

"It means you have to wait. I'm sorry. I know families hate to hear that. He has some internal swelling and bleeding and that is also being tended to by the surgeons. But the hematoma is what concerns us most. Head trauma is tricky and it can't be forced. I'm sorry. The next twenty-four hours will be critical."

Both of them watch the doctor pull away and then go back to what they were doing a few moments earlier – waiting. Boden watches Severide pacing and knows it'll literally destroy him if this indeed was Casey's last night alive on this earth. About an hour later the doctor returns, telling them the surgery to remove the blood from his brain was a success but he wasn't out of the woods yet. He'd be taken up to ICU to be monitored. Time was still their enemy.

"I need to see him," Severide states firmly as the doctor offers him a small frown and then looks over at Boden who can only stare back with helpless remorse. "Please? Just for a few seconds. He just needs to hear a voice telling him he's not alone."

"Come with me."

"I'll tell the teams," Boden tells Severide. But Severide merely offers a small nod and then hurries after the doctor into the ER medical chamber. He looks at the blood and dirt from Casey's discarded gear on the floor and dotting the white sheet his friend is lying on; the sympathetic gazes from the nurses as he enters just adds to the somber mood.

"Is he uh…"

"He's still out. We're just getting him ready to take up to the ICU. You can talk to him," one of the nurses kindly suggests.

"'kay," Severide mumbles as he looks down at Casey's peaceful expression as he hovers a few feet away. But try as he might, he just can't get the words to come out…not in front of strange faces fixed on his every breath. "He um…is someone going to clean him up?" He asks weakly as he angrily wipes his eyes. "And what if he's cold…" Severide adds as he leans in to pull a nearby blanket over Casey's bare chest.

"He'll be okay," a kind nurse name Maria's hand rests on Severide's, forcing him to look up with a weak expression.

"Can you promise me that?" Severide asks weakly. "Can you promise me he's going to survive this?"

"I…" is all she manages before the alarms behind her start to sound and she turns and rushes back; the doctor pushing past Severide, bumping his shoulder in the process.

"What's going on?"

"You have to leave!"

"Matt!"

"Get him out of here!" The doctor shouts as one of the nurses gestures for Severide to leave. Boden's arm gently reaches between the two large doors and helps guide Severide back out.

"Kelly…"

"What's going on? I can't leave!" Severide shouts, a few of the team looking up in anxiety.

"HE'S CRASHING!"

"I'll come get you as soon as I can," Maria tells him in a tense tone as she turns and hurries back to the medical melee.

"Chief…I can't leave. I just…I can't," he laments as he finally breaks down in Boden's strong grasp. "Not…not after all this. He can't die…not like this…"

"He's going to pull through. There's too much at stake now…Casey knows that. He'll fight his way back," Boden tries as Severide pulls back with anger flashing in his watery blue eyes.

"One damn shift! He…he shouldn't have…." Severide's words die out as he turns back and stares in sheer misery through the clear Plexiglas windows; watching in helpless frustration as the small band flutter around Casey, desperately trying to save him. He looks at the monitors…the frantic pace and the worried expressions; his heart rate soaring at top speed. Finally things seem to settle back down…Casey's monitors return to normal…well…for the most part.

"Chief…he has…he…oh damn," Severide's throat swallows as the doctor slowly heads toward them with a troubled expression about a half hour after that. "Chief…"

"I got this Kelly…Doctor? What's going on?"

"Okay…here's the truth…it's uh…"

"Doctor, please just tell us straight…is he going to live?" Severide begs sadly.

"Well…"

XXXXXXXX

'Matt Casey…'

'Kelly Severide…'

'MATT! Come on buddy…Matt wake up…come on buddy…not like this…Matt!'

'It was your fault!'

'No one was to blame!'

'Can't lose you'

'FIGHT!'

Kelly….father…Andy…baby's crying…save the baby…Kelly…I can't…the pain…I see the baby…oh god LOOK OUT!...pain…darkness…can't breathe…pain…smoke…eyes are blurring…hit in the back…head….neck…Kelly…help me…Kelly! HELP ME!

'Fight Matt…FIGHT!'

"ahhh…wh…oh…" Casey's lips utter a soft gasp as his watery eyes try to flutter open. As soon as he tries to get his blurry eyes to focus on something…his mind zooms him back in time…rushing into the burning apartment…hearing the command to clear out…going for the baby…the ominous crack…the beam falling…PAIN! Blistering…pain…his head….pounding…heart racing…eyes blinking back droplets of blood…his blood. Mouth, nose, tongue…all senses on fire…pounding…racing…screaming with pain…HELP…ME! Darkness.

Then…Kelly's voice…telling him to fight…begging…pleading…frantic movements…his body on fire…not responding…heart racing…strange voices…heart racing so fast…danger…danger…silence…darkness…pain.

"ahh…"

"Matt?"

He hears Kelly's voice…at least he thinks it's Kelly's voice. "Ke..lly…Kelly," he tries with a dry mouth, his lips unable to properly swallow, his heart thudding heavily in his tingling chest. "Am I…am I dead?"

"Well…if you are…you picked a hell of a place…to stick us," Severide gently groans as he flips on the small bedside light.

Casey's eyes quickly squeeze shut before they dare to open again, his mind racing to know why Severide wasn't sitting in a chair…or standing beside him or…Why is he wearing a medical gown? "What…happened? Kelly you…you weren't…you weren't hit. It was…just me."

"At least we know your memory is intact," another friendly voice is heard as Casey's head swivels to the right to see Boden slowly approach the bed. "You had us all worried."

"Chief…what happened to Kelly?"

"Well…I'll let him explain. You need your rest but I wasn't going to leave until you woke up and told me to go home."

"Go home," Casey lightly retorts as Boden's hand gently rests on his shoulder and gives it a tender squeeze of reassurance.

"Welcome back Lieutenant."

"Chief…I heard the command but…"

"Don't worry yourself about this now," Boden answers in haste as Casey's monitors start to jump slightly. "You just rest. You suffered some blunt force trauma to your head and spine. It's a miracle you're not paralyzed but the doctor told us the surgery was a success. They were able to remove the excess blood from your brain before it caused any major damage. With some good solid rest…you should make a full recovery."

"Thank god," Casey whispers as Boden nods. "And Kelly?"

"I see they didn't cure him of his impatience," Severide retorts as he slowly approaches the bed.

"You two need rest. Kelly, tell him what he needs to know and then I want you both to get some sleep. This time…follow this order."

"I think he did this to get another month off," Severide gently teases Casey, who tries to offer a smile; his face, however, displaying what looks more like a grimace.

"I'll see you both in the morning."

Casey's eyes follow Boden out the door and then look back at Severide. "What…happened?"

"I helped save your life."

"What? No…I was…wait…what?" Casey's lips stammer as he tries to remember all the events in the smoky apartment interior. "Kelly…it was just me…that was struck. The beam…fell on me…only me."

"Yeah that's right. The doctor's helped your hard head," Severide tosses at him lightly. "But…well I helped with the other part."

"What…other part? What happened?"

'I have…okay here's the straight facts…' Severide's mind thinks back a few hours to when they were being confronted by the doctor regarding Casey's sudden medical downturn. 'His right kidney was nearly completely destroyed from the fall. It was punctured and damaged beyond repair. We removed it and we thought we were in the clear. We aren't. Now we might have to remove the other.'

'What?' Severide half shouted. 'Doctor you can't…he…what does that mean?'

'It's a last resort and we'll hook him up to a dialysis machine temporarily and start the search for a new kidney but it will take time. His body has undergone a lot of trauma and he's fighting to come back but…but this is a setback and time is of the essence. If the left kidney fails he could be in serious trouble.'

'What's his blood type?'

'Kelly?'

'I'm not losing another one chief…not another close friend…not like this. I couldn't help save Andy but I can help save Matt. What blood type is he? Use mine…I beg of you…use mine.'

'Mr. Severide…'

'I've already signed the consent forms for an organ donor and…look you said time is running out right? Please doc…do whatever you have to do. Don't take the chance with his life. Don't wait until the other one fails. Just…he won't go out like this. Not like this. Please…'

"What? I lost…a kidney and you…" Casey's lips stammer as his brain races to process everything. "You gave me one of yours? Is this…a joke?"

"Thanks a lot," Severide retorts lightly. "You think I put this lame gown on for sympathy?" He asks as Casey nods.

"Maybe to…get a date."

"Nah you're the one that likes nurses," Severide gently chuckles before his face turns serious again. "I wasn't going to let you die."

"But this…"

"Yeah is going to sideline you for a few months and me for at least a month but…there was no other way. No other option."

Casey looks up with a weak expression as his eyes instantly water with realization. "Thank you…doesn't seem enough."

"I know you would have done the same for me. Knew you'd never give up and I wasn't about to either. We've been through too much together to let it end like that, right? Not after we saved our house. Couldn't just give up. You didn't…you put the idea into our minds to rally the troops…all of us. But it was you. And when you needed the troops…we rallied for you."

"Okay," Casey replies as he tries to swallow. "Hurts…Kelly…really?" He asks in disbelief. "You really gave me your kidney?"

"Gives new meaning to the word blood…brothers…or organ brothers?" Severide snickers as Casey's frame slightly recoils. "Sorry…hey hold on a sec…just take it easy," he offers in haste as one of the nurse's rushes into the room; Maria the nurse from earlier.

"What's going on in here?" She gently scolds. "He should be resting. You both should be."

"I'm…okay," Casey tries to tell her as his body temperature slightly rises.

"He just coughed," Severide replies in his impish defense.

They both watch her take her leave after she checks her vitals; Severide's face coming into view with a concerned expression. "That was close."

"I'm okay…just tired…and my mouth…it's so dry."

"You can't drink…you gotta get used to…"

"Having a bit of Kelly in me," Casey gently smirks as Severide smiles and nods. "You know Shay….will tease us endlessly about this."

"I am aware. I had to Matt. There was no other choice. Couldn't just let you get hooked up to those damn machines…and leave you…waiting."

"I just…Kelly wow…thank you. It just doesn't seem enough," Casey frowns.

"Buy me a case when we get out and we'll call it even," Severide retorts as Casey tries to chuckle, but ends up coughing hoarsely, his throat gently gasping. "Sorry…hey hold on."

"I'm…it hurts…to swallow."

"No saliva. Want an ice chip? I think you can have a small one."

"Sure," Casey nods slowly as he watches Severide disappear from view and then looks up at the monitors. There were the standard vitals and heart monitor but the other was for his new organ…the organ selflessly donated to him by his best friend…his literal life saver.

"Hey…you still want this?" Severide's voice pulls Casey's weary gaze back to him.

"I heard another voice…earlier…a kid. Who was it?"

"Nathan was by," Severide informs him in truth. "He…drew this for us," Severide holds up a picture of two Red fire trucks with a myriad of little black men around them, one called Kelly and the other Matt.

"Sweet boy."

"Yeah, he's a special kid. Here…okay just one more," Severide offers Casey a small chip and then frowns as he tries to swallow. "When you didn't answer… that damn locator was going off and we saw that beam on you and then…I know we both take chances but watching you come out with blood under your mask and then you not responding…the small seizure in the ambulance and not answering us…I thought the worst. Was hard to watch all that and keep a positive head. Thought the worst. Sorry man."

"I would have too…if I had seen what you had," Casey admits weakly. "I'm just glad…we can still work together."

"McLeod couldn't scare us off," Severide mentions lightly as he gently wipes way a bit of water dribble coming from Casey's mouth. "Okay…no more talking now. You look like you're fighting sleep."

"Afraid…to fall asleep. Might not…wake up."

"You will and when you wake you'll be a whole lot smarter," Severide grins.

"Smarter? Got your kidney…not your brain," Casey gently smirks as Severide shakes his head and offers a gentle hair ruffle.

"You sound like me already," he retorts as he pulls the second blanket up to Casey's shoulders.

"Knew…you'd never give up."

"Never. Giving up wasn't an option…no matter what. We'll just both have to be a bit more careful and you'll have to adjust to a few more things but…but we're both alive…that's what really counts right?"

"Right," Casey nods as he offers his friend a warm smile.

"Now get some sleep before Boden grounds me for keeping you up."

"What?"

"Well he's already grounded you."

"What?" Casey asks once more as Severide just smiles.

"We'll talk more in the morning."

Casey nods before his heavy eyelids finally close, Severide watching over him for a few moments longer until he turns off the light and then climbs into his small bed for the night. His own surgery had been a success; his body also needing time to recover but unlike Casey's, there was no head or spine trauma to recover from and no new organ to adjust to. But he meant what he said…giving up on a close friend was never an option…he had made a promise to himself that when they entered the hospital, he wouldn't be leaving unless Casey was at his side – alive. That promise was coming true and that peace of mind carries him into the darkness as well; a whispered goodnight lingering in the air, bringing both of them comfort and bonding them even more.

"Goodnight…brother."

A/N: Well? I hope this was okay and you liked it a little. Of course I couldn't let Casey die but did you like Severide's sacrafice? Thoughts? Could Casey ever truly repay his friend? please let me know in your review (that's the only avenue Alice listens to hehe and we have a few weeks to get through) thanks everyone!