I don't hate the characters, so no disrespect meant. Just trying to make a funny story.

The Gang Goes to the Grocery Store and Shaggy Won't Shut Up about Anime

"Like, Scoob, it might be hard for Kraft Lawrence to get honeyed peach preserves, but thanks to the conveniences of modern life, all we have to do is go to the grocery store!" Shaggy said as he swiped a jar of the sweet stuff off a shelf.

"Reah, Raggy!" Scooby agreed as he grabbed a few more to put in the cart. "All your reaches are belong to us! Hee hee hee!"

"Oh for the love of- Would you stop making anime references for five seconds?" Fred cried out. "We're trying to enjoy a normal trip to the grocery store, like all friends do!"

Shaggy gave a nervous chuckle. "Like, sorry, Fred. We'll tone it down for you normies."

"Please do," Daphne said. "I can't be seen with you two if you're going to talk about that stuff." She looked about the store, then sighed. "This is a grocery store, huh? Not very impressive. We could have just sent my butler, guys…"

"But then we wouldn't get to have the experience of going to the store together that all other friends have!" Fred cried out. "And besides, we need brain food for the big test!" As he said this, he stuck his arm out and pushed a whole row of chip bags into their cart.

Irritated, Velma pushed up her glasses. "That junk isn't brain food, Fred! We need fish!" She grabbed the cart and pushed it down another aisle.

"Hey, get back here!" Fred yelled. "I wasn't done in this aisle, and I'm the one paying for it all, so we're getting what I want!"

"Yeah, well, I could have paid if you'd just let me send my butler, but you insisted you wanted to have the whole friends at the grocery store experience," Daphne muttered.

"We need fish!" Velma yelled.

"Whoa!" Shaggy freaked out when he saw his friends fighting. Scooby was right there, trembling with him. To cool tempers, Shaggy said, "Remember the power of friendship, guys!"

Fred bowed his head. "Shaggy's right…"

"Hey, this is perfect!" Velma said. "Some red herring! Canned!"

Upon hearing that most hated of names, a trigger went off in Fred's brain. "Oh, it's on!" he roared. He socked Velma in the face and floored her. In the process, the cart was overthrown and groceries spilled everywhere. Shaggy and Scooby sobbed as they dove for the groceries and pushed them back into the cart. Daphne just went on texting on her cellphone.

"Like, calm down, Fred! There's no need to use your full power here!"

"What?!" Fred cried out angrily. "Didn't you hear the mocking way she said it? She was asking for it!"

"Jinkies…" Dazed, Velma remained on the ground, her glasses snapped in two and a big black mark around her left eye.

"Hey! That's not very funny!" A man with curly orange hair peeked around the next aisle. It was Red Herring. "Look at the mess you've made, Jones! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!"

Unleashing a primal roar, Fred charged and took a swipe at the scourge of his childhood.

"Whoa, I'm in law school now, Jones!" Red Herring said as he jumped back to dodge Fred's flurry of blows. "I can't scrap with you anymore!"

"Like, this is going downhill faster than the happy-go-lucky attitude of Madoka Magicka!" Shaggy cried out. "Let's get out of here, Scoob!"

"Ro, Raggy. A rar on the rack is a rwordsman's rame!

"No, Scoob! Like, just because courage is the magic that turns dreams into reality doesn't mean you have to do this!"

"Ro, Raggy! Riracles and ragic ro exist in ris world!"

Fred turned on his heels. "Enough with the anime references!"

"Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!" laughed Red Herring. "You've really done it this time, Jones! By the way, why are you guys all at the grocery store together? It's kind of weird."

"No, it's not!" Fred cried out. "It's the epitome of normalness for friends to go to the grocery together!"

"Is it normal for friends to knock each other out in public?" Red Herring asked, nodding at Velma.

"Like, it is in anime. For example, Gray and Natsu-"

"Shut up, Shaggy! Anime isn't normal!" Fred bellowed.

"Anime? I love that stuff!" Red Herring said. "You seen Ace Attorney yet?"

"Like, wow, Red! You like anime too? Wanna rewatch The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya in the original broadcast order?"

"You know it!" Red Herring said. "But we're not going to watch all of Endless Eight, right? Pure torture. Really makes me feel for Nagato."

Shaggy gave Red Herring an approving nod. "Like, you know, I think this will be the start of a beautiful friendship!" Shaggy and Red Herring clapped each other on the back and started walking for the door, with Scooby at their heels.

"What would a loner like you know about friendship!" Fred yelled out. He fell to his knees and sobbed into his hands. "I just wanted to go to the grocery store like all normal friends do!"

"Oh, by the way, Jones…" Red Herring looked back a moment to throw Fred his business card for the law firm he was interning at. "You might need that when your friend wakes up. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!"

"Ugh, can we go now?" Daphne asked, never looking up from her phone.

"Oooh…" Sitting up, Velma rubbed her head. Her glasses were broken, leaving her near-sighted, and there was a possibility of a concussion after falling on the hard ground, but that was the least of her worries; when she glanced at her feet, she was horrified. "Oh no! I've lost one of my orange socks!"