Dear Sirius,
If you're reading this, I have most likely been dead for at least half a decade and you have, by some miracle of God, have somehow escaped from Azkaban. Perhaps I should keep my sorry mouth shut before I say anything I'll regret. I'll try to keep it simple and ambiguous, because you never know who in the world could be reading this, and I'd rather it not fall into the wrong hands, thank you so very much! Hmm, I suppose it's time I did some very thorough explaining; after all, even you deserve that much, and I'm not nearly as much of a despicable human being as I was in school and immediately afterword.
I was such a fool, Sirius. So sure of myself, so certain I had somehow picked the right side. We all were grand old idiots, even you, and don't you even try and deny it either. Provoking our Mother and Father like you did for so long-I was surprised you lived to graduate. But when you did, I wasn't all that surprised you were among the top in your year-after all, you were one of the cleverest students in the whole school, right alongside that Mudblood Evans and that weird Lupin boy and that annoying best friend of yours-and Severus. Oh, and I almost forgot-try and be kind to Severus, Sirius. He's suffered greater losses than the likes of you could have ever known and ever would know. Sorry, off topic, but I guess I really just have one thing left to say:
I am immensely proud of you, even if Mother and Father never were and even though my opinion probably means less than nothing to you.
I heard you were shagging that Lupin boy-Remus, wasn't it? Yes, that's the ticket…..well, I wish you well, and pray to God neither of you ever take a fertility potion. The last thing we need is a bunch of little yous terrorizing the good people of our community. But all kidding aside, I really do hope he makes you happy.
Oh, and I'm sorry for everything. All the duels in the hallways, all the times I accused you of committing bestiality with Lupin (you'd be surprised what you learn from being best friends with a boy like Severus) and all the times I told Mum and Dad on you and all the times I hexed you and your bloody stupid friends and all the times I stole your stuff and called you names and-
Oh God, Sirius, I'm just so sorry.
I destroyed one of Voldemort's hocruxes, the locket he stole from Hetzipan Smith, and I hope you live long and prosperously and have lots of little werewolf and pureblood babies. My only wish is for you to bring me up once in a while to your offspring-tell them about me. This is all I ask of you.
Amare frater vester,
R.A.B