Disclaimer: This story is a fan-made fiction. Fate/Stay Night and its franchise is owned by TYPE-MOON, Kintoki Nasu, Takahiro Miura, and its respective publishers and groups. Please support their official release.

If one could describe this place, it can only be described as a contradiction.

A place that is impossible within the concept of reality and fiction.

A a place of memories, ones that were filled with radiance and ruin.

He remembered the radiance of joy, loyalty, love and acknowledgement.

….Yet he was scorned with the ruin of sorrow, betrayal, loss and anguish.

Born as a curse, he endured. Remaining hopeful of the day he was appointed as 'his'successor.

Yet he died blessed, smiling. A bittersweet feeling of compassion as the smell of ash enveloped him.

The warm smoke embraced him. Numbing his senses, his emotions, his memories.

A valiant knight standing alongside his comrades, wielding a blade. Gleaming with a brilliant light, its radiance beaming with a guidance of a saint. One that is cursed with being a martyr, a being of complete benevolence yet loneliness.

A solemn warrior standing by himself. Like the knight, wielded a blade. A cursed existence, one that would lead him to ruin someday, he was deemed a sinner. Yet it provided absolution for his sins, reminding him that he was human, a selfish yet enduring existence.

Both were one in the same and yet completely different people. One fought for himself, the other fought for the sake of others. A traitor who betrayed his king, a hero who slayed a dragon.

Renowned for his fame and infamy throughout his life. Those who spitefully cheered, those who joyously scorned him, he endured.

A ideal and flaw, an example that should be followed and avoided.

Here he stands, waiting and staring. The everdistant light that shines, his eyes never once faltering at the scene before him.

Binded by the roots of this world, his arms and legs remained unmoving. Constrained by nothing but his own will. For this is his punishment and redemption, a world of endless radiance and ruin. Trapped as a prisoner, this world being his warden. Him as its watcher, this world he observe. Unbounded by the chains of fate, binded by his own fate. Waiting for the day his existence or time itself ceases.

A realm, a place outside the domain of existence, a world that existed for him and him only. A concept that cannot be explained as something simple as a reality marble, a projection of one's thought that is materialized in the physical realm. For this place to be called such would be insulting. For one to project their inner thoughts, one must be able to enclosed their will upon the world, sealing it off from the rest. For this world is neither expanding or enclosing, only existing. The rules of such concept cannot exist.

Standing in a field of nothingness, barrened of life. The sky was nothing but pitch dark, shadowing the land in endless blackness. Only the distant light acted as a salvation against the tendrils of darkness that would wrap this land. A light comforting as a mother's embrace. A salvation against the confines of the dark world. For he fear if he took his gaze off the light, he would forget what remnants of himself was left. At the same time, he refused to walk towards it as he feared that their would be nothing there. Neither averting nor moving forwards he was content.

"..."

The silence was something he was used to by now. He had not spoken for what seem like an eternity, even forgetting the sound of his own voice. A lonesome world, its tenant being himself. A quiet sigh escaped his lips, a single sound was never heard. It wasn't disappointment that escaped his lips, rather, it was resignation. Accepting the fact that his actions are nothing but cowardice, refusing to move forward or become part of the non-existent emptiness. Yes, it was a cycle of endlessness that plagued him. Something that he has grown accustomed to, as nothing has changed or moved. Or rather, he remains unchanging as he allow such a cycle to continue.

"Perhaps….." A gruff and refined sound escaped his lips, a sound that was his own. It was a welcomed unexpectedness, accustomed to the emptiness that has become sickening. Looking at the distant light. Endlessly it swirls, hypnotically tempting as it beckoned him to come towards it. Reluctantly he contemplated, a debate between desire and pessimism, a fight of want and need. But most importantly...

"Am I even deserving?" Images began to flash in his head, memories of his youth, a field. One filled with corpses and scattered swords, the anger and anguish of those he cut down.

"Traitor!"

"Monster!"

"Abomination!"

"You should've never existed!"

The voices of those he had struck down and turned his back on, flooded his ears, constantly, becoming louder and louder. The many that he betrayed, ridiculing, scorning, and cursing his name. A name tainted and twisted, forgotten till the ends of time...a name he long discarded. Gazing down at his hand, covered in steel and blood, they began to tremble. The shame...the guilt…the resolve that he begun to build, faltered. The darkness slowly engulfing his body as he allowed it to smothered him.

"I deserve nothing but to suffer..." Feeling the darkness consume him, crawling, creeping up to his face. Yes, this is how it should've been, a fate that is worthy of a monster like him. Closing his eyes, he allowed the emptiness to swallow his existence.

"Thank you…"

His eyes snapped open as he heard the voice, one of many that he heard. While the others did nothing but cursed and spite him. This voice did the opposite, a simple phrase but one that was filled with hope and warmth directed to him. A nostalgic feeling both comforting and affectionate.

"Thank you…"

It was a beautiful voice, ones that wipe the voices of his sins away. A beautiful song, one that filled his body with euphoria. A song that he wished to hear again, the voices of his misgivings meaningless. He wanted...no...he needed to hear it again.

A simple phrase, one that was mundane and hollow, that had such a beautiful meaning to it. Pleading silently for a desire, seemingly virtuous yet simple.

"Thank you…"

As if his prayers were answered, a swell of emotions brimming him. The memories of corpse and swords fading like a distant memory. Replacing it was an image of a woman, her appearance obscured, she was smiling.

She was smiling for him...

An intoxicating smile that was addicting. Clearing his senses, his emotions, his memories.

A memory…a fragment of his life that can never be redone nor rewritten. Yet these memories were a reminder…a reminder of the one who saved him, giving meaning to his existence.

He longed to see her smile...a timeless gesture, one that provided self-worth.

He crave to hear her voice...an endless melody of euphoria, a warm nostalgia.

But most importantly, he wanted to…no it was a necessity, a need that he cannot live without. For he found life would be meaningless, he needed to…

"I wish to see you again…for my existence is meaningless without you."

Determined he walk forward, tearing himself from the darkness that held him. The restraints he put on himself, unshackled. Heading towards the light, filled with purpose. Even if his very existence is twisted...tainted with the bloods of innocent and the deserving, one who's ending will end in tragedy. As long as he could see her again...that's all it matters.

The light got bigger with each step he took, he got closer, the world around began to tremble. Its existence beginning to crumble, for the world existed for him only. For him to leave would end this world.

Approaching the light in front of him and without hesitation, he entered. His vision blinded by the light, as it took him away from this place. Vanishing from this world, which cease to exist.

A world meaningless without him.