AN: This is the very first chapter of my very first fanfiction story and I would love to know what you all think.
Derek just stared around the now, mostly empty house. He was still entirely awestruck by the situation, so much so that even with a loud knock at the front door, the gentle click of heels on hardwood and the sudden appearance of a gorgeous albeit somber looking blond nothing roused him. He just watched the leaves blow off the porch beyond the sliding glass doors, though his brain registered none of it.
"Derek," Penelope whispered gently. Removing the nearly empty whiskey bottle and placing her hand in his she sat beside him and just waited. He would speak to her when he was ready.
Looking around it was fairly clear what had happened.
"She will not be coming with me to Chicago," he barely whispered. "I hope you can return the ticket."
"Oh baby," she whispered soothingly. "Don't worry about that."
"She wouldn't even stop to listen. She just kept…she just…" he suddenly balled his fist up furiously but Penelope was quicker grabbing his face with hands.
"Hey, hey, just talk to me. I'm here."
He laughed darkly. "That's what she kept saying. 'If you need to talk so bad, go find Penelope'."
She sat back lowering her hands. There was almost a hint of malice in his voice but she swallowed the flippant remark that bubbled up knowing his words were not coming from a rational place. Then he scowled at himself as if he too realized his harshness and shook his head.
"Trina saw you." Savannah spat through tears stuffing a blanket into the box in front of her. "You haven't been home in over a week and you decide it's more important to go grab a drink with her then come home."
"Babe you don't know…."
"Stop. I wish this was the first, hell the fifth time, one of my friends thought you were stepping out on me for your blonde friend but it's not and I can't pretend its ok anymore."
"You know it's not like that…"
"No, Derek, I don't think you even know what it's like. And I know I said I could share you with your job but I can't with her as well."
"Just let me talk to you."
"If you want to talk go find Penelope."
And with that she was gone.
Penelope didn't know what to say. They had unfortunately been down this path before; Kevin, Tanya, most recently Sam, and now Savannah. No one understood what they meant to each other, or perhaps no one could accept it. Penelope had. She understood why Kevin and Sam had their jealousy. Her heart would likely always belong to Derek, even if he would never know, but Savannah had no reason to worry. Penelope's heart may have belonged to Derek, but the reverse was not true and she would be the last person to stand in the way of her best friend's happiness. And with Savannah, Penelope was sure Derek had never been happier.
Unable to come up with anything better she finally stated, "Your flight leaves in 7 hours. You should rest if you can." She stood up and held her hand out to him.
He looked up at her, his expression broken, "Stay with me?"
"Of course Sugar," she said leading him to the bedroom.
He looked exhausted but lying in bed he didn't shut his eyes, instead just studied her and played absentmindedly with her hair.
"Do you think she's right?"
"What that handsome?" she murmured without opening her eyes.
"Do you think I will ever make anyone happy? That my relationship with you will just always get in the way?"
Her eyes flew open shocked by what he was saying, but when she met his eyes she wasn't sure what she was seeing behind them.
"I'm scared P."
"I know." She whispered caressing his cheek. "But you will be okay."
"I just want to feel something other than this hole inside me," he stated still searching her face.
"You will, it will just take time. You know I'm a big believer in 'everything happens for a reason,' right now we simply don't know what that reason is. But til then I'm here to remind you of all the things to keep you from being hollow and help keep you calm."
He smiled and looking at her he felt reassured by her words. She had always filled his heart and never let him feel alone. He needed that. Moving his hands back further into her hair, winding his fingers around the back of her neck, he leaned in and nuzzled against her cheek and whispered into her ear, "this, this feels nice…calming."
Before she could think she felt his lips on her neck and the butterfly kisses he was trailing down to her shoulder. It would be so easy to forget the world in that moment, but Penelope's brain wouldn't let her.
"Whoa baby boy, sounds like the whiskey is talking," She tried to sound like her flirty self, hoping to brush this off.
"Make me feel better baby girl," he said nibbling on her ear. "I need to forget."
It wasn't that it didn't feel amazing, because everything he was doing to her was reverberating through her and her heart was beating so fast. No if she didn't stop him soon she was in danger of not being able to stop him at all.
"Ok hot stuff, sleepy time," she breathed, her voice much deeper then she planned.
He looked up at her and the fire in his eyes was so hard to ignore. She had longed to see him look at her like that for years, but she didn't trust it and when she broke his eye contact to hide the pain in her own, he grabbed her and kissed her.
The kiss itself began tentative, as though he was asking for permission, and in that moment she forgot all her reservations and met it with her own suppressed need. When a small moan escaped her lips he pushed her down against the bed and the kiss grew hungry.
"My god baby girl, I need this…I need you. It's all too much, I need my solace."
When he said solace, reality crashed back into her. He had called her that before and she'd been foolish enough to believe it meant something more. It hadn't then and now… This was her best friend, this was a broken man, and this was not right.
Tears caught in the back of her throat and she had to fight them to say, "No Derek. I won't be the temporary solution to your problems. "
He stopped and looked her in the eyes, hurt and pain evident, "P, I need you."
"You need sleep Derek." She said moving from the bed.
"P, don't go. I will be good."
"I'm sorry Derek."