Mayflies
This is based on my bad sense of humor and a recent Dean Ambrose interview where he mentioned that as a teenager after a career path test they recommended him becoming a park ranger.
It takes place in the middle of the Seth vs Dean feud. But one night they carpool along with Roman and the old gang is back together.
And they drive straight into an adventure…
The car died in the middle of the bridge. It just died. It didnt stutter. It just plain stopped and the motor became silent.
"Tell me we didn't run out of gas."
"Tell me we didn't run out of gas in the middle of the night on a bridge in the middle of nowhere surrounded by billions of mayflies!"
Jon looked from the driver side over to Joe on the passenger seat and then at Colby in the backseat who pressed his nose against the window.
All the time there were little plops. Like rain. Except it wasn't raining. The car had died on them on a bridge were billions of mayflies gathered in the light of the lamps that illuminated the bridge.
You couldn't even see out of the front window because it was covered in little fly bodies. Some still alive, some dying, some already dead.
"I thought we would make it into town." Jon said carefully.
"Well now you can make it into town on your feet and get gas." Colby suggested a little annoyed.
"What? No way. I will not go out there. Did you look out of the window? I can hardly stand fans touching me. Having flies crawl over me...no way. Joe you go."
Joe turned and raised an eyebrow in the best Rock fashion.
"I don't think so." he replied calmly.
Jon hit the steering wheel. "I don't go out there. What if they sting? What if I am allergic? I could die out there!"
He was overly dramatic, something Colby and Joe knew all too well.
"They don't sting, they don't bite. These are mayflies, happy humping mayflies. Harmless. Full of proteins. You could eat them on the way to town as a snack." Colby suggested with a smirk.
"Humping? What do you mean humping? I don't walk through a fly orgy!"
"Jon? Put on a hooded jacket, get out of this car and get gas. Preferable before we die of old age."
Joe was always so calm. So matter of factly. "I hate you. Both of you. You can car pool with someone else next time."
"Yeah someone who can read his gas meter properly." Colby threw a jacket Jon's way and earned an angry glance for his helpful ways.
Jon pulled on the jacket, tied the hood around his face as tightly as possible and put his jeans in his boots. "I wish we still had our masks." He complained.
"When I am not back in an hour call the police. Or better yet the National Guard."
"How could you ever get a career suggestion like park ranger when you are afraid of some flies?" Colby again.
"I maybe checked the box prefers being outdoors instead of being looked up with a bunch of idiots." Jon growled and opened the door. Instead of closing it quickly again he took his time. "A little gift!" he called inside and slammed the door shut as Joe and Colby shrieked because some...well a lot of flies had found their way inside.
Jon was immediately covered by the flies and he tried his hardest to breathe through his nose and tried to swag away the flies from his face. He walked at a steady pace over the bridge. Flies found their way into his clothes and he started to shift around funny like in his best Ambrose fashion just ten times worse.
He wouldn't shriek, he wouldn't shriek...
"Oh my God!" he shrieked and another voice answered at the same time with "Oh my God."
He came face to face with a figure in white clothes and a funny helmet.
And the white figure come face to face with a guy in jeans, combat boots and a hood deep in the face.
A net slammed into Jons face and only after the second strike he was able to catch it and take it out of the figures hands.
"Easy." he said and spit immediately as two flies landed in his mouth.
"What are you doing here?"
The figure was female by the voice. She had an easier time talking because a net covered her face.
"Car broke down." Jon said holding the net he had taken away from her in front of his face.
"No gas." he added.
The figure shook her head and walked away at a brisk pace and Jon followed.
Only 50 feet away from the bridge there were no flies anymore.
Jon danced a little more and slid out of his jacket and shirt and stood there half naked trying to shake off the few flies that had crawled inside his clothes. He didn't even pay attention to the white figure who had taken off her helmet by now. Only after his skin didn't crawl anymore he turned his attention to the woman.
She was pretty. Not drop dead gorgeous but her blonde hair was up in a ponytail, her oval face looked nice and her blue eyes studied his actions with interest.
"Are you done?" she asked and he nodded but his hands run absently down his arms still because he felt phantom flies on his skin.
"How can a car run out of gas at this time and age? They have computers that tell you how far you can go."
Jon rubbed his neck. "Yeah well I thought I could make it into town. I guess when the road sign says 20 miles to the next gas station it really are 20 miles and not 10, huh?"
"No shit Sherlock." his blonde savior said. He noticed her eyes that roamed over his body and he took his shirt, shook it out and pulled it back on.
"What is your name?" he asked her and she raised an eyebrow just like Joe had done 10 minutes earlier.
"My name is Jon." he told her.
"Anna."
"Well Anna. You know what I am doing out here. What are you doing here?"
"I study the flies for my exam. I study biology. I want to become a park ranger one day."
"Really?" Jon asked surprised and she nodded.
"That's cool. Big hats and always fresh air, huh? So, umm is there any chance you could give me a ride into town so I can get gas? Because my friends wait in the car for my return."
"I can do you one better." Only now Jon noticed that a truck parked nearby. She walked over and pulled out a canister out of the trunk.
"I always have gas with me. Could save your life."
"Yeah well, I always drive rentals and bringing a canister of gas on a plane is one hell of a task. Would you sell the gas to me?"
"Sure.."
"Awesome. What is it? Ten, twenty?"
"Give me twenty and I will even walk in there and put it in your gas tank."
Jon handed over twenty dollars happily and told Anna he would wait here.
She walked back with her helmet on and 5 minutes later his rental pulled up beside him and Colby jumped out of the car shaking his limbs like a lunatic.
"Get them off. Get them off. Joe." he whined and slipped out of his shirt.
"Deja vu." Anna smiled a she reached them again.
"Not that I mind the view." She stood beside Jon to watch the show. Joe climbed out of the car as well and tried to shake off the flies more calmly.
"Are they off?" Colby asked Jon and turned around so Jon could check.
"You are good bro." he said and Colby relaxed. "What about the ones in his hair?" Anna grinned and now Colby opened his hairband and shook out his hair.
"Please get them out." he whined and Jon couldn't he was laughing so hard.
Anna started to pick out the five flies from Colbys hair.
"You are good now. Does your friend need help?"
She glanced at Joe who showed off his massive torso and his Samoan tribal tattoo.
"I am good baby girl I guess. Can someone just maybe check my hair?"
Colby stepped back. He wouldn't touch those things. Jon was still laughing so Anna volunteered again.
"They are not always like this." Joe apologized and Anna grinned. "You mean highly entertaining?"
"I mean obnoxious. But yeah, its funny. Thank you for saving us out there."
"Sure. No problem."
Jon had finally calmed down and Colby tried to stand still for more than two seconds when Jon asked. "Anna. You are not by any chance a wrestling fan, are you?"
Anna looked at her feet. "You mean if I know who you are? I do."
"Well. Why don't you come to the show tom...tonight? As a little thank you for saving the ex Shield from the mayfly invasion. " Joe asked her.
"I would love to."
"Great." Colby exclaimed and Jon grinned suddenly.
"Can I talk to you a second? And You two can get the last flies out of the car."
He grabbed Anna by the arm and walked away with her.
Ten minutes later the guys drove off...
After just two minutes Colby piped up from the back:"Ummm guys? I think I have flies in my underwear."
Jon and Joe shared a look and Jon braked so he could laugh. Even Joe broke down while Colby tried to get rid of the flies in his underwear.
Anna sat in the audience. An hour before she had visited the three guys from last night backstage and they were all really grateful for her support.
Now it was the match Seth Rollins vs Dean Ambrose. Seth strolled in with his briefcase and Dean in his usual lunatic fashion. At some point during the match Dean grabbed the briefcase and shook it. And again. His face became questioning.
Seth complained to the ref and Dean had to give the briefcase back.
The two toned ninja checked the case now himself.
Anna put her hand in front of her mouth.
"It sounds empty. You better check if your contract is still in there." Dean said loud enough for the first few rows to hear.
Seth eyed him skeptical than he put the briefcase on the ground. Again he checked on Dean but he raised his hands and stepped back.
When Seth opened the briefcase about a thousand mayflies exploded in his face and he fell back on his ass and tried to get away under the laughter of the fans.
He ran up the ramp and Dean stood in the ring, waving. He started the song nanana nanana hey hey goodbye and the audience sang along. The ref counted, he was already at 8 but there were still mayflies around the ring and Seth wouldn't go back. He hated the little buggers by now!
At ten he was counted out and he grabbed his hair in frustration.
Dean picked up the briefcase in victory and the crowd cheered.
When his eyes landed on Anna he winked and mouthed thank you.
She had provided the flies and they had put them into the briefcase backstage while Seth was elsewhere.
And that's how Anna's brief encounter with Dean, Roman and Seth or Jon, Joe and Colby as she had got to know them ended. Just 24 hours. No longer than a mayfly lived...