I know it's been a while since my last Cars/HTF crossover, but I'm not just gonna walk away from a great idea. Anyway, this is a retelling of the Cars story, using the Happy Tree Friends as the characters. You'll figure out Who's who in a while. Also, some lines were changed and added. Btw, pay attention to the characters, there'll be a quiz at the end. and a quick note, everyone calls Cuddles, "Lightning". Don't ask me why. Also, I own neither Cars, nor Happy Tree Friends. On with the story!
"Ok. Here we go. Focus. Speed. I am speed", said Cuddles to himself as he sat in the driver seat of his racecar, giving himself a little prerace pep talk, "One winner, forty two losers. I eat losers for breakfast... Breakfast? Maybe I\par
should have had breakfast. Mmmm, waffles... Unless they're blue waffles... No no no, stay focused. Speed. I'm faster than fast, quicker than quick. I am Lightning."
Just then, there was a knock at the trailer door. It was Cuddles' driver, Lumpy. "Hey Lightnin! Ya ready?", he asked.
"Oh yeah. Lightning's ready", said Cuddles as he pressed the button that opened the door, started the engine, and slowly pulled out of the trailer. He then revved the engine and the crowd went wild. Thosands of flash bulbs flashed all around the stadium.
Cuddles smiled at the nearest camera, flashed his ring, which was in the shape of a Lightning bolt, and said his catch phrase, "Kachow!".
Cuddles drove over to pit road, where his team went through the usual pre-race checks. Putting on the racing tires, making sure that the belts looked good, that the fluids were full, that there was plenty of oil and all that.
After the cars were lined up on pit lane, all that was heard was a cry of, "Gentlemen, Start your engines!", then a deafening roar as forty three V-8 engines roared to life.
The cars rolled out onto the track, following the pace car. The pace car shutoff it's lights and pulled off of the track, and the green flag was waved. Every driver put the hammer down and took off down the track.
Fifty laps down...
Cuddles was making his way easily through the pack, passing cars like they were parked.
The TV broadcast was just coming back from commercial, and one of the commentators, a chipmunk, said into the the camera, "Welcome back to the Dinoco 400. I'm Bob Costas, here with my good friend, Darrel Waltrip. We're midway through what may turn out to be an historic day for racing".
Darrel, a bear, said, "Bob, my blood pressure is through the roof right now. If this get anymore exciting, they're gonna have to wheel me outta here on a stretcher".
"Right you are, Darrel", said Bob, "Three racers are tied for the season points lead going into the final race of the season, and the winner of this race, Darrel, will win the season points title and The Piston Cup. Does "The King", Splendid, have one more victory in him before retirement?"
"He's been Dinoco's golden boy for years", said Darrel, "Can he win then one last Piston Cup?"
Bob then took over and said, "And as always, in the second place spot we find Nutty Squirrel. He's been chasing that tailfin his entire career."
"Nutty thought this was his year, Bob", said Darrel, "His chance to finally emerge from Splendid's shadow. But the last thing he expected was... Cuddles "Lightning" McQueen!"
"I dont think anybody expected this", said Bob, "The rookie sensation came into the season unknown, but everyone knows him now."
"Will he be the first rookie to win a Piston Cup, and land Dinoco?", asked Darrel.
"The Legend. The Runner up. and The Rookie. Three racers, one champion!", said Bob as the cameras went back to the race.
Cuddles passed Nutty, raising the dark visor of his helmet and giving him a wink as he went.
"Hey!", said Nutty as he floored his accelerator and slamed into Cuddles' rear bumper, causing him to spinout into the infield. Nutty laughed evilly as he drove away, watching Cuddles slide through the dirt in his mirror. He waited until Cuddles pulled back onto the track, then looked at the car beside him and said, "Dinoco is all mine!" He then sideswiped the car, causing it to spinout, causing a huge crash. "Get through that, McQueen!", Nutty chuckled as he drove away.
"Trouble! Turn three!", said Darrel as cars started to spinout and crash into each other.
"Oh! A huge crash behind the leaders!", said Bob.
Cuddles saw the cars sliding around and crashing, but decided to try to drive through it anyway. He gripped the wheel tighter and put one foot over the brake pedal, but didn't touch it. he began to swerve through the wreakage.
"Wait a minute, Darrel, McQueen is in the wreakage!", Bob exclaimed.
"There's no way the rookie can make it through!", cried Darrel, but he then said, "Not in one piece that is."
Cuddles swerved around the last few cars, then saw that there was another pile of cars up ahead. he also noticed that there was one car that was overturned onto another one, creating a ramp. He floored it, hit the car squarely and sailed easily over the wreck, landing safely on the other side.
"Look at that! Cuddles made it through!", said Darrel.
"A spectacular move by Cuddles "Lightning" McQueen"."
"Yeah! Kachow!", said Cuddles as he slowed down behind the pace car as every other car pulled into the pits.
"As everyone else heads into the pits, McQueen stays out to take the lead", said Bob.
Nutty pulled into his pit box and as his team went to work, said, "what do ya think, boys? A thing of beauty".
"Cuddles made it through!", yelled Nutty's crew chief.
"What?", Nutty demanded.
"He's not pitting!"
"Let's go! Get me back out there! C'mon!", Nutty started yelling at his pit crew as they finished the four tire and fuel stop.
"McQueen's not going into the pits." said Bob.
"The rookie just fired his crew chief. That's the third one this season." said Darrel.
"He says he likes working alone, Darrel", Bob said, "Looks like Nutty got caught off in the pits".
Darrel chuckled and said, "after a stop like that, he's got alotta ground to make up. Get ready boys, we're comin' to the restart."
The green flag waved and Cuddles took off. He stayed out infront for the rest of the race. After one hundred laps, Cuddles made a pit stop.
"We need tires now! Let's go!", said one of Cuddles' pit crew members as one of them started putting gas into the tank.
"No no no no! No tires! Just gas!", yelled Cuddles as he tore out of his pit box.
"YOU NEED TIRES, YOU IDIOT!", One of his crew members screamed.
"Looks like its all just 'gas n go's for McQueen today", said Darrel.
"Yes, no tires again", said Bob.
Darrel continued, "normally I'd say that's a short term gain, long term loss. but it sure is workin' for him. Hey, he obviously know something we dont know."
Laps continue to wind down as Cuddles' lead kept growing, and Splendid and Nutty kept fighting their way through the pack.
"this is it Darrel", said Bob as Cuddles started the final lap, "One lap to go and Cuddles still has a huge lead."
"Aw, he's got it in the bag. Call in the dogs, put out the fire. We're gonna crown us a new champ!", said Darrel.
Cuddles rounded the last corner and said, "Checkered flag, here I come!". Just then, one of his rear tires blew.
"Oh no! McQueen has blown a tire!", said Darrel.
"And with only one turn to go! Can he make it?", asked Darrel.
"You fool!", screamed one of Cuddles' team members as another one kicked over a rack of tires.
Splendid and Nutty slammed their pedals all the way to the floor and charged toward the finish with everything their cars had.
Just then, Cuddles' other rear tire blew.
"He's lost \i another\i0 tire", said Darrel, "The King and Nutty are comin' up fast!"
"They're entering turn three!", said Bob.
"I can't believe what I'm watchin' Bob!", said Darrel, "Lightning is one hundred feet from his Piston Cup! And down the stretch they come! AND IT'S... IT'S...!"
Cuddles, Splendid and Nutty all crossed the finish line at once.
"It's too close to call! Too close to call!" said Bob as Darrel started going nuts, "The most amazing ending in the history of the world! But we don't even know who won!"
"And We're live in victory lane, awaiting the race results", said Kori Turbowitz, a reporter who was interviewing Cuddles. She continued, "McQueen, That was quite a risky, move not taking tires. Are you sorry you didn't have a crew chief out there?"
Cuddles laughed as his crew went to work on his car, replacing the destroyed rims with fresh tires. "Oh Kori. There's more to racing than just winning. I mean, taking the race by a full lap? where's the entertainment in that? No no. I wanted to give the folks a little sizzle. And am I sorry I don't have a crew chief? No. I'm not. Because I'm a one man show."
Kori turned back to the camrea and said, "That was a very confident Cuddles "Lightning" McQueen. Live from victory lane, I'm Kori Turbowitz."
One of Cuddles' tire changers threw his air wrench down and yelled, "That's it! C'mon guys".
The rest of the guys dropped their tools and started walking away.
"Whoa team", said Lightning, "Where you guys going?"
"We quit! Mr. One-man-show!" yelled the tire changer as they all stormed off.
"Oh. Ok. Leave. fine. How will I ever find anyone else who knows how to fill my car up with gas? Adios, Chuck!"
"AND MY NAME IS NOT CHUCK!", Not Chuck screamed.
Nutty walked over and said, "Hey Lightning. That was some pretty darn nice racing out there... BY ME! Ha ha! Welcome to the Squirrel era, baby! The Piston Cup is mine, dude, it's mine", he turned to his pit crew and said, "hey fellas, how do you think I'll look in Dinoco blue? DINOCO BLUE! Ha ha ha!"
Cuddles rolled his eyes and said, "In your dreams, Thunder!"
Nutty raised an eyebrow and said, "Thunder? What are you talkin about?"
Cuddles smiled and saidm, "ya know, because thunder always comes after, LIGHTNING!" and he started flashing his bolt ring for the cameras.
Meanwhile, over at the Dinoco area, Splendid and his wife were talking to Longhorned steer named Tex while Splendid's Plymouth superbird was being loaded into the trailer.
Tex smiled and said, "Whoee, that was one close finish. You sure made Dinoco proud. Thank you, Splendid."
Splendid said, "Well Tex, You been good to me all these years. It's the least I can do."
Splendid's wife put her arm around Splendid and said, "Whatever happens, you're still a winner to me, you old daddy rabbit."
"Thanks dear", said Splendid as he put his arm around her, "Wouldn't be nothin' without you."
Back at victory lane, Cuddles was still soaking up the lime light, flashing his ring at every camera lens he could see, when to teenage girls broke through the string of cameras, introduced themselves and said, "We're you're biggest fans!", they then yanked up their tops and flashed him, "Kachow!".
Cuddles smiled as he said, "I love being me."
"We love you, Lightning!", they yelled as security pushed them away.
"Hey buddy", said Splendid as he walked up, "you're one gutsy racer."
"Oh hey Mr. The King", said Cuddles.
"You have more talent in one finger than alot of folks have in their whole body." said Splendid. he continued, "But you're stupid! This ain't a one man deal, kid. You need to wise up and get yourself a good crew chief and a good team. Ya ain't gonna win unless ya got good folks behind ya, and ya let them do their jobs like they should."
Unfortunatly, Cuddles had fazed out into a daydream about getting the Dinoco sponsorship and all of the great things that could come with it.
"You figure that out, you just gonna be ok", said Splendid.
Cuddles shook his head clear and said, "Yes, that is spectacular advice. Thank you, Mr. The King."
Bob's voice boomed out of the speakers, "Ladies and Gentlemen, for the first time ever in Piston Cup history..."
"A rookie has won the Piston Cup", said Cuddles as he jumped through the curtain and onto the stage.
"We have a three way tie!", said Bob.
Nutty laughed as he walked out onto the stage and said, "Hey Cudd, that must be really embarassing, but I wouldn't worry about it... Cuz I didn't do it! Ha ha ha!"
Bob voice boomed over the stadium and he said, "It has been decided that a tie breaker race between the three leaders will be held in california in one week."
Nutty started waving to the crowd and said, "Well thank you. thanks to all of ya." He leaned over to Cuddles and said, "Hey rook, first one to California gets Dinoco all to himself."
Well, thats the end of chapter 1. I've already got most of this written, but I want to get reviews before I post the rest. Thanks for reading. Bye.