I changed this chapter so all the mistakes are fixed!
Disclaimer- I am not jkrolling for if I was I would e sitting by a swimming pool drinking ice tea. But am not oh well
Please excuse the bad spelling and punctuation
Stupid thing the Marauders (Sirius) did
Chapter 1 - getting there and other events
Sirius ran as fast as he could though the barer on to platform 9 ¾ dragging his heavy trunk behind him, and crashed into someone right on the other side.
"Sorry" he panted, still out of breath from running
"Sirius," said a familiar voice, "you okay, looks like you've been hit with a stick." It was Remus, one of Sirius's best friends. Remus and Sirius were entering there 7th year of school, along with James Potter,(Sirius best friend) and Peter Pettigrew, there other friends
"Oh, hi Remus, a hand bag actually, a big red one"
"Who…." Remus asked in a puzzled voice
"My mum, she dropping of Regulus and saw me and said. "If you do not get out of my sight this instant I knock you flat" then she hit me and I ran for my life." Sirius answered in a discussed voice.
"Ouch," Remus cringed "that must have hurt, do you have any idea what was in there"
"Probably things, that only a woman would like, you know like makeup and crap." it was James who had come up behind the two marauders "and you are blocking the entrance.
"Ooops," said Sirius and Remus together
"Sirius your mother talked to my mum, after you had run away." Said James laughing slightly
"She said that my mum is an ungrateful woman, and then went on and said things like this "I raised my child the way I saw fit, and your son that taught him that the world is made up into good and evil, and than your parents are on the wrong side, that is what your son said to him I know it, and your son got him into Gryffindor, if that's not bad enough, He runs of and lives with you, oh you are the worst people I know, get out of here now, you mudblood lovers,….. Crappy….. You evil… I think you need to die you….. Taking my son away…. And other things that I can't remember, but I think she got her point through."
"She did not" Sirius said shocked and angry "I'll kill her, I'll make her die in that trench I dug when I was a kid I'll..."but they could not here the rest of what he said, for he was walking off into the crowd.
James and Remus exchanged glances then followed
"Where'd he go?" Remus said after searching for some time
But before James could say I don't know there was a sound as thought an explosion had taken place and someone (a woman by the sound of it) started to scream.
James a Remus looked at each other and ran towards the source of the noise. When they got there they say a ring of people standing around a large woman and two boys. One was (naturally) Sirius and he was yelling at the woman at the top of his voice.
"Listen woman!!" He yelled as James and Remus squeezed passed to get a good look.
"How dare you…" the lady (who was incidentally Mrs. Black) screeched back
"The Potters are twice the people you will ever be!"
"They are blood traders… they…"
"You are a fowl old lady, who is not even worthy to call herself a descent witch!"
"No!!! You are the one who…"
"Don't talk to me" Sirius spat "your such an…an" know Sirius Black was not one to not know what to say, he always had something to say, and always said it. But at this moment it seemed there was just no way to describe how awful his 'mother' was. Soon however he got it.
"You're such and orange pickled fish!!!"
James and Remus stared. True Sirius was the worst comeback person ever, but orange pickled fish? Though Sirius was not done yet.
"I hate you, you anteater chicken, elf, rat (no offence meant to my friend who is one) lemur person thing, narwhale, pink tie man!! Your are such a bran muffin!!!!"
At this Mrs. Black fell over in a dead faint right on top of Regulus who caught her and stared at Sirius. It looked like he was going to say something but Sirius cut him off.
"Don't make me start on you Regulus" he spat his brothers name as though it might poison him. Then he turned around and march off towards James a Remus who were still staring. And said "lets go!"
James and Remus Followed him, still wearing shocked expressions from what they just witnessed, along down the crowed station, Sirius still muttering things that sounded like "and when she's no looking I'll put her in a dumpster and then get though huge muggle electronic car things, and crash into the dumpster, ya that's good and then….."
"Sirius" started Remus "you really should not talk that way about your mother I mean she loves you somewhere… deep down… at the bottom of her heart… but she still loves you."
"Yay she loves me as much as I hate her, which is about, let's see……..I hate her about this much" Sirius held his hand wide apart. "And she loves me about this much." Sirius held up two fingers and pushed them together.
"See the space?"
"No"
"Good because there is none that is how much she loves me 0"
"Fine I'll drop it" muttered Remus
When the reached the train they saw Mr. and Mrs. Potter talking to Mrs. and Mr. Longbotton and their son Frank. Frank was in there year. Her was a nice kid but a little stupid and slow. He was currently dating Alice. Alice was 7th year girl who was also in Gryffindor, and was the perfect mach for Frank.
"Hey guys need some help?" Frank asked after seeing there three heavy trunks
"Thanks, Frank" Remus said gratefully
"So Sirius" said Frank grinning as they loaded Remus trunk on " I heard you had a argument with your mother."
Sirius shot him a nasty look but did not say anything because the whistle sounded and the boys had to hurry onto the train.
"Bye dear." called Mrs. Potter "have a good term!"
"Frank be careful!" called Mrs. Longbotton
"Bye" all four boys called and waved out the window until they were swallowed up by the roar of the train and people shifting around.
"Well. Times a wasting" yelled Sirius who was back to his happy self after yelling to his mother.
He then ran to the nearest compartment, flung open the door and called at the top of his voice.
"I am Sirius, Emperor of everything, get up and let me and my friends sit here!!"
However this plan did not worked to well as he found himself looking into the perfects carriage, where the prefects were all sitting. They all looked up to see sirius and one of them said "what in the name of Merlin?"
But Remus, who was the only one not laughing pulled Sirius out of the way and said very politely "Sorry my friend is a bit screwed up." Then he dragged Sirius to the first compartment that was empty (which turned out to be the last one) flung him into a seat, sat down and pulled out a book and begun to read. James and Frank soon turned up still laughing there head off. (I did not make Remus a prefect because James is head boy)
"Wow" said James "that was sure something, Mooney"
"What??" Remus asked innocently.
"You just dragged Sirius down, like 20 cars to the end of the train, and then you start to read without saying anything. I mean don't you thing that was a little what the word…is..."
"Painful" Sirius filled in rubbing his arm "you sure can pinch Remus; it's like your part animal or something!"
"Thank you" Remus replied still absorbed into his book.
The train ride was long and for the first hour Sirius sat there fuming at his mother and after another hour he kept saying
"Mooney I'm board, Mooney I 'm board, Mooney I'm board. Entertain me Prongs please!!!!"
Eventually Remus got so annoyed with that he threw exploding snap cards at him which exploded in Sirius face. Making his hair (his lovely, lovely hair) caught on fire, which kept him busy for some time.
Soon James, who was head boy, had to go and give the Prefects there behavior rules speech, and left a very annoyed Sirius behind
"You just had to be head boy didn't you Prongs"
"Apparently" he answered
The train ride was extremely boring after James had left. But soon Peter turned up and Sirius entertain him self by asking Peter stupid Questions like
"If you have 1 cup of stupid and had retarded to it what do you get?"
To which Peter would say"
"You get idiot or wait you get…"
Remus was getting really annoyed and said "Sirius stop it at least do something useful on the train ride!"
"That right Pranks. Prong where that list is?" he asked James who had just turned up again
Once James got out the list Sirius read it out loud
Pranks for 7th year
1) Turn Slytherin common room into nursery
2) Have Snape hug every one he sees
3) Makes people look like balloons
4) Change Slytherin robes to be pink and have flowers in there hair
5) Have Minnie take her hair down (its always in a bun)
6) Create explosion in history of magic to see if Binns notices
7) Get back at Minnie for giving me 97 detentions last year
8) Put tarantulas in Snape's hair and see if it dies from touching him
"Only eight?" asked Remus in a shocked voice "I thought you would have way more!"
"Are you kidding this is for the first week!"
Later that night the five boys James, Sirius, Remus, Frank and Peter were all in there dorm getting ready to 'attempt' to sleep.
Remus was thinking "anther year here we go"
James was thinking "yay I'm back, I wonder what sort of prank we can pull on snivilles this year."
Frank was wondering were he had put his toothbrush
Peter was already asleep (and snoring loudly I might add)
And Sirius was wondering, if it was bad to eat potato skins. For he had eaten one at dinner.
"Hey James" Sirius asked "is it bad to eat potato skins?"
"What?!"
"You mean I am going to die!!!"
"Sirius what the…" called Remus, but never finished for Sirius was yelling
"And I will never eat potatoes again!!"
"Sirius calm down, potato skins can't…"
"Goodbye James, Remus I hope I go to a better place. And tell my mum she insane."
And Sirius keeled over right onto Peter bed on top of the sleeping Peter. Who woke with a start saw Sirius, who was pretending to be dead, thought it was real and screamed at the top of his voice,
"Sirius is dead, Sirius is dead!!!"
"Peter he's not..." began James, who was trying and failing to stop from laughing, Remus was already on the floor cracking up.
But Frank ran out of the room and yelled "What happened!!"
Peter was still yelling "Sirius is dead, Sirius is dead!!!"
And as only can be expected boys from different rooms were running into the room yelling and girl showed up and started crying and yelling (for one of the most popular boys in school were dead). For they did not see Sirius faking death, or James and Remus laughing. They Saw Sirius dead on the bed and James and Remus crying with grief.
James and Remus were laughing so hard that it looked, and felt like they were going to puke.
Soon Remus caught his breath and shouted
"Sirius get up this minuet!"
Everyone went very quiet. Except for James who was still trying to catch his breath.
Sirius, who was doing a very good job of playing dead but with a slight smile on his lips said
"No, I have died."
"Sirius potato skins can't kill you. Your fine"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes"
"Positive"
"Yes"
"Good" and Sirius got up so quickly that people gasped in surprise
"Why are you all here?" Sirius asked, smiling at them all "come to bring me joy?"
Laughing everyone left while James asked Lily Evens out, she said no then left. While Sirius, Remus and Frank were still laughing, and watching James try and fail to get lily on a date, again.
Peter who was still shocked asked "what happened?"
"Pete you are so slow" James answered angrily having been turned down again
Yaya my first chapter done I hoped you liked it please review. And sorry for all the spelling a mistakes love Empresspenginoftheunivece