I have another story that I am writing along with this one so I don't know about updates but they will defiantly come. This story is most probably going to be more of comedyish and action fiction as I experiment with various vampire lore. Story probably not suited for young readers due to adult language and blood and gore later on.
I do not own Hellsing or any of its characters, Hellsing and its bad a** vampires are owned by whoever owns it... and them.
In a way I imagine they are like fleas, retched things that pester and feed off you. Not like mosquitoes which can easily be swatted away or the tick that falls away when full, no they don't fall away and are quick to jump when found out. Pesky little bastards that just won't die no matter how hard you try to crush them, and when you think they're gone for good they come back.
Integra sighed and leaned back in her leather chair. She rubbed her good eye and grumbled under her breath at the reports and files that were spread across her desk. The amount of property damage this month was giving her a migraine and the latest report wasn't helping. It wasn't just the reports either, lately the round table has been at her heels about the amount of money they are having to spend on property damage and media suppression for 'accidental exposure'.
Though she started to wonder if they really were accidents. In one such incident her vampire ran out in the middle of the street during a late London rush hour in pursuit of her prey. The fool ended up being hit by an oncoming truck moving at 35 miles per hour. Such a blow would have been fatal or hospitalized any human, and what does the vampire do?! She gets up, dusts herself off and continues on her merry way like it didn't even happen.
Can't cover that up as a terrorist attack. The head of Hellsing shook her head as she dug through the desk compartments. She mentally cursed vowing to strangle the bloodsucker for stealing her cigars again. If only it would work.
"Seras!" Integra roared at the top of her lungs.
Though she and the Draculina didn't share a mental link like how she could summon Alucard, Integra knew Seras could hear her from just about anywhere on the grounds. It didn't take long before the knob turned and said monster peaked her head into the office.
Anyone would say she did so with an air of caution being weary of the angry Integra, but the Hellsing woman knew better. While her slight frown, raised brows, and overall nervous behavior indicated fear, the glint in her bright scarlet eyes said otherwise. There Integra was told that while the monster played fearful and innocent she knew what she had done and did it on purpose.
"Come in Seras." Integra said calmer but still growled out between her teeth.
Seras fidgeted, tapping her fingers on the door before averting her gazed momentarily. Integra could practically feel the smile hidden behind the mask.
"I don't know…" She cowered fakely. "You might throw something at me again."
"Your damn right I will! Now get in here!"
The vampire entered with her head hung and pouting eyes. She stood before Integra with her hands clasped behind her back and rocked on her heels.
"Where are they?"
Seras shrugged. Integra grinned out of anger as her brow twitched.
"You're testing my patience vampire. It seems that every time I leave and return to my office something is either moved, or rearranged in some way and now they've ending up missing too. Now explain to me why that is."
The grin was now apparent though partially hidden under the golden bangs as Seras still held her head down. Gone in an instant as it morphed into a bubbly smile as she addressed with a new air of playfulness that almost defined the former police girl, almost.
"I moved them." Seras stated in a cheerful matter-o-fact way.
"And what compelled you to do such a thing?" Integra inquired as she crossed her arms over her chest.
"Well I moved them hoping you would leave and go searching for them. You can't stay cooped up in here forever, wouldn't want you to age and gain weight now would we."
She stated it so nicely you could have easily have thought you miss heard her, but this was nothing new to Integra. The consistent aging jokes will always be there and probably started around the time she turned 35 and started to 'feel' her age, or act like an old man as Seras put it. However the fat joke was new and she intended to get to the bottom of it.
"I haven't gained any weight!"
Integra rose from her chair and ran her hands down the sides of her suit as if to smooth out the material, but in reality she was seeing if she could feel any weight gain. She didn't feel any different, though not entirely convinced either.
"C'mon Integra" Seras gestured towards the doors. "Let's go get your precious cigars and have you maybe burn off that pudding you ate yesterday."
She flinched and almost hissed in response.
"What pudding?! How would you know?! You're supposed to be asleep."
Seras turned and pinched her nose.
"I can smell it on your breath. Maybe if it was vanilla I wouldn't have been able to detect it over the scotch or cigars, but chocolate it defiantly stronger than the two."
Mentally she made a note to hide her snack habits better as Seras led her through the hall and down the stairs. She could have just sent the thief to retrieve them for her but somehow in the mix of mental notes and random conversation she had ended up following the vampire to the dining hall.
"You hid them here?"
"Hid them? They've been in plain sight since I set them on the grand table. If you'd leave your office once in a while you'd have seen them by now." She added pointing at Integra avidly who scoffed in return.
A sense of Deja'vu hit her as she approached the dining hall door and her hand fell on the handle. Integra racked her brain for an answer but every attempt to find the it failed. It was almost as if the part of her mind that held the answer itself was blocked and she felt dazed as she turned the handle and entered the dining room. It was pitch black in the middle of the night with all the lights off. The only light coming from the hall she just came from, but even that was cut off as the door shut behind her.
Immediately flags went off as she instinctively became alert. Years as head of a vampire hunting agency and as a vampire hunter herself she was wisely cautious of the dark. Her hand went for the gun that was always at her side no matter the circumstance. As her fingers grazed over the sidearm when the lights were suddenly flicked on.
Integra's good eye was assaulted by the sudden light as her ears were attacked by the roar of voices.
"Surprise!"
Inwardly she flinched, but didn't dare allow anyone to see it openly. The moment she saw the soldiers and the large cake sitting on the table she remembered why she had been hit with a sudden deja'vu. Integra glared at the vampire who smiled in return. Every year they go through this and Seras seemed to manage to get past her defenses and hide the memory of it from her each time just before the sudden surprise leaving her with the deja'vu.
Perhaps it was a reminder that she was becoming too lax around Seras. Though she considered the bubbly blonde a dear friend it was still no reason to let her guard down. A monster was still a monster after all; no matter the mask it wore.
"Happy Birthday Sir!" Her men shouted together.
For now she would play along as she always did and approached the cake on the table as the captain lit the candles with a gun shaped lighter. Thankfully there were only four candles on the cake. Either they weren't sure as to the age of their boss or didn't want to put anymore holes in the icing.
The faintest of smiles graced her lips as she examined the pastry. In a way the black cartoonish bat shaped cake reminded her of Alucard with its red eyes and fluffy hair on top of the head. Though she couldn't imagine him sticking his tongue out in such a playful manner the fanged grin was defiantly him.
The knife used to cut the cake was shaped like a sword and Seras was sure to decapitate the cake and present Integra with the head. What was even more spectacular was the red filling that ooze out like blood as the blade sliced through the bat.
Integra shook her head as she remembered last year's cake that was shaped like a black dog, though missing the multi-eyes it had a toy soldier in its mouth and other hidden in the stomach area that one of the guests almost choked on.
The party lasted well into the night with the soldiers talking mostly of the vampire's latest 'accident' involving a well place tank of propane and a bunch of ghouls that had painted an entire room red from wall to wall, but still managed to miss the vampire. It wasn't until after the building was on the verge of collapse from the out of control fire that she saw fit to finally kill him and exit, then it came crashing down.
This was one of the few moments all of her men (some are female soldiers too) were gathered in one place so she took this moment to examine all those that served under her. Giving Integra her moment of space Seras had gone to mingle among the remainder of the Wild Geese, being the captain Markus, Pete, James and Ladon. Among them were the post-war veterans that were hired to renew the troops after the mansion was totaled by millennium for the second time. Though they weren't apart of Hellsing during the destruction of London they were still veterans in their own right with most of them being members for over ten or so years. They consisted of Kate, Jason, and Stewart as the squad leaders of the handful of troops. All of them actually having been trained by the ever diminishing Geese.
Next and further off from the group crowded around the loud when existed Seras were mostly survivors of the war. With their understandable but over exuberant hate for vampires they avoided Seras and the others like plague and were most likely here by force since they didn't hold to high of regard for the boss that employed the very thing they hated most.
It didn't matter either way to her, they could pout as much as they wanted but Seras was by far the best vampire hunter among them. Clearly her powers were in a way cheating but it didn't matter, as long as she could kill the enemy Integra assigned to her without hesitation. This way it didn't cost her so many of her men as well. That being said it was costing her a fortune in damages to the designated hunting grounds so perhaps things are about even.
Human soldiers are frail and corruptible, but vampires are expensive and hazardous. All in all things would never be easy.
After the party Integra returned to her office to put things away before bed. Seras was already waiting for her before the desk. She returned to her desk and lit one of her reclaimed cigars before speaking.
"You're expensive you know."
"I know." Seras breathed. "Sorry, I just get carried away. Boredom seems to spark a rather odd creativity for vampires."
"I've noticed."
"How was the cake?"
"Surprisingly familiar." Integra replied as she exhaled smoke.
"You fall for the same trick every year."
"Only because you feel the need to invade my mind. I can't keep you out like I did Alucard, a simple order won't suffice. Though I suppose it helps keep my attentiveness in check." She took another puff.
Integra reached for an aloft vanilla folder cast aside from the rest and slid it over to Seras. The Draculina took the folder and eyed it contents with mild interest.
"Another vampire in need of my time." She giggled.
"No, not this time."
Seras tilted her head in confusion, but continued to look over the file. Inside was the information on boy in his teens. His profile picture showed him to be fair skinned with dark brown hair, and dark almost violet blue eyes. The boys glare was intense and spoke of a harsh past and equally bad attitude that just shouted for everyone to leave him along but secretly longed for someone that might be really capable of helping.
"You pervert Integra!"
Said Hellsing choked on her smoke and almost dropped her cigar on the desk and papers covering it.
"What, how?!"
"Got all these pictures of this boy in here, shame on you."
Integra leaned back in her chair returning to her calm exterior though the annoyance still showed on her face to the vampire.
"That's not what those are for."
"Then explain, before I report you." Seras crossed her arms.
"Report me?" She chuckled. "Yes I'm afraid the bloodsucker is going to report me to the authorities. Why don't you let them know what you are while you're at it so they can have me put a hit on your head while I'm being booked."
"I'll be sure to track myself down once I receive your order."
"It'll take you far too long to accomplish such a simple task."
Both of them shared a brief laugh at the thought of Seras chasing her own shadows with an intent to kill before returning to business.
"The boy is Zachery Barret, age 15 and born in 2004."
"Oh…"
Seras was still only mildly interested at this point. The idea of him not being a vampire that she was going to hunt had her a bit bummed out, but the potential for an even greater adventure was the only thing that kept her attention from the little birdy on the bookshelf that continuously dipped its beak in a glass of water.
What was the point of that thing? She never really bothered to find out; rather it was just its consistent movement and shiny paint that kept her interested, that and she always felt the need to count every time she saw him dip into the water.
Integra cleared her throat bringing the Draculina's attention back to her. She glance over at the little birdy with a knowing smile. It had done its job well for the past 20 years since she bought it for the sole purpose of distracting Seras while she worked. Knowing that vampires compulsively counted and were drawn to shiny objects she just had to have it. Many a night she was able to complete entire binders worth of work in one sitting thanks to him. Part of her wondered if it would have worked on Alucard too.
"So what's so important about this kid, he looks like a brat to me."
Seras grinned to herself, she would defiantly know.
"True, but it is possible he is an illegitimate heir to Hellsing."
"Really!"
Integra nodded.
"So you intend to make him the next head of Hellsing?"
The smirk currently told Integra that Seras was defiantly interested, like a child that had found a new toy to play with. Calmly she put out the cigar and left it in the ash tray before rising.
"Tomorrow we will be headed to North America and stay for a week for blood testing."
Seras made a face and raised a brow at her boss.
"How do you intend to get me to America?"
This time it was the human's turn to grin; one that had the vampire tilting her head in curiosity and anticipation. Seras's coffin would have to be shipped ahead and she very well couldn't have the Draculina in American unattended for several hours. No she had a much better plan at shipping her so she could easily keep an eye on her at the same time. Though she was unsure if Seras had mastered this ability yet, nonetheless she would have to use it. There was just no other choice or rather this would be the most interesting one.
Next Chapter: Doggy Do's and Don'ts (though I might change the title.)