I don't own hetalia. This is sappy. And sad. I warned you.

This wasn't supposed to happen. Not to me. Not to him. It happened again. There is nothing I can do but lie here and cry. Holy Rome was only supposed to happen once. He left and never came back. Until I moved away from Austria and Hungary, I kept making my promised sweets hoping that he would come back. He never did. On my own for years, I slowly accepted that he was gone. While it hurt to think about, I always thought of the happier times with my love from the 900's. But still, it happened again.

The year was 2115. War broke out over religion and culture in Europe. Asian and North/South Americans joined sides respectively. Each side was fighting to protect not just what they loved, but who they were as people. World War Three. Italy was neutral. As I think these three dreaded words I cringe, as another sob wracks my body, and another tear drips slowly down to the already soaked pillow. He went to command troops and fight. I thought for once, that one of my loved ones going to war would come back.

###

The day he was set to leave was grey and lifeless. A slight wind blew as I made my way to him. I had made something special for him to take with him, to remember me by. As we stood face to face, his sad eyes met mine.

"Do you have to go?" I asked, hoping the answer was no. Those hopes were soon dashed. He bowed his head slightly.

"Yes." He answered in a grim tone.

"Before you go, I want you to have this." I held out my humble gift. It was a scarf, in the colors of his flag, black on top, red in the middle, yellow on bottom. It was late fall so Europe may as well have been an ice cube. "I want to make sure you stay nice and warm when you go fight." I smiled a little at knowing that he would at least be warm.

"Thank you Feli." He said as he took the scarf from my hands. He wrapped it around his neck, and snuggled into it just a little." Before I leave I have to tell you something."

"Yes?" He leaned in and kissed me. My eyes widened in shock, but I soon began to kiss back. His hands were on my waist and mine around his neck. It was all too short a time before we had to break. I had waited for that for nearly two centuries. Finally, we weren't just countries in an alliance to each other. We were people, Ludwig and Feliciano.

"Ich liebe dich." He mumbled, a blush on his cheeks. I smiled.

"Ti amo."

"Feli, if I come back-"

"When. When you come back." I said as sternly as I could. He gave a small smile.

"When I come back, meet me on the front porch, alright? The first thing I want to see when I get back is your smile." He said, blushing the whole time. I kissed him again.

"For sure." I nodded. The car to take him to the secret facility arrived a few minutes later. He put his backpack in the back seat of the car and got in. He rolled the window down.

"Good bye Feli."

"Bye Luddy~!" Before I could even blink, the car sped off, carrying Ludwig with it.

That was the last of him I ever got to see. I waited years, as the war raged.I sat on the front steps for hours, until my legs went numb. As weeks, then months, then years went by, I kept waiting. Hope slowly being eaten away by time and worry. Romano would visit with Spain. He told me to 'stop obsessing over the potato muncher'. I didn't but it was nice to know he cared.

###

Finally, after 15 years, the war was over. 15 long years to see my Ludwig. 15 agonizingly slow years to finally see my love that wouldn't die. That was last month. That day...

###

I sat on the porch with renewed patience. It was officially announced that the war will end, and all disputes are near settled. I made gelato just for the occasion. Today was the day Ludwig was coming home. Or so I thought.

At around noon, a man came up to me.

"Are you Feliciano Vargas, the personification of the northern half of Italy?" He asked in a flat tone.

"Y- yes." I said quietly. I had heard of things like this happening. Somebody from the government shows up at your door, and two things could happen. They could tell you that someone you knew had been promoted. However, a much as I hoped that was the case, his next phrase was the one I had been dreading.

"I regret to inform you..." I didn't listen after that. He died. I didn't want to believe it, but it happened again. I tried to listen but the man was drowned out by grief. My face went rigid, stone cold. I refused to cry, not yet. I was snapped out of my thoughts when the man held some things out to me. I took them with a shaking hand. He sat down next to me. I looked through all the medals and awards Ludwig had won. It turns out he died saving an important group of soldiers. Without them the entire country would have fallen. There are some things that even a personification of a country can't survive. Large explosions are one of those things. All I think was, why? Why did he have to die to get them? Why couldn't it be a gun? Then he would only be injured, not dead! This whole war shouldn't have happened! It wasn't fair. Tears began to sting at the corners of my eyes. No. No tears yet. Only when I'm alone.

However, what I saw next broke me. The scarf I had given him when he left. The ends were frayed and a couple holes here and there but it was definitely the same scarf. When the man saw me looking at it he said: "That was one of the items he had on him before he died. I heard he never took it off since the day I brought him to the base from here. He only took it off when he slept. When I asked why he said someone special made it for him." That was it. Buried my face in the tattered scarf and let the tears flow. It smelled like gunpowder but I didn't care. It reminded me of him.

My almost boyfriend...

###

Since then I've given up pasta, or anything really. I just stay in my room and sleep. My fratello has to drag me out of bed and force feed me if I eat anything. I guess I'm just not hungry. After that, I always do the same thing. Sleep. When I sleep I'm happy because I can dream of Ludwig. Dream that we're happy, dating, and alive. Dream that we eat pasta together and when I kiss him, he blushes and it's cute. But all dreams end. And when mine end, reality feels like a brick just hit me on the head. Outside my dreams, I'm like this. All I can do on my own is clutch a pillow and cry. Cry and hope that one day I get to see him again. A new personification of Germany will come along soon. But he's not my Ludwig. Ludwig is gone.

I wrap the scarf I made, his scarf, around my neck. It doesn't still my shivering frame but it's comforting. With the scarf wrapped around me I fall into a deep sleep. I dream he is still here, with his arms around me. I smile.

"Ti amo."

"Ich liebe dich."

I will love him, always and forever.

Review... p-please... *cries in corner*.