I thought last night's episode was fabulous. It showed an unexpected and incredibly thought-provoking side of Bianca, not to mention some insight on Katie's character. The promos had made it out to be Katie who would be the naïve one last night, and, though she was, Bianca also made the mistake of assuming Katie was looking for friendship.
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"We should hang out some time."
From the moment Katie Matlin says the words, Bianca is hesitant. They've steered clear of each other since the party in Jake Martin's cabin a few months ago, but Bianca, apparently unlike Katie, has still felt the flame of rivalry between them. Unspoken or glanced upon by the school president, but still there.
Perhaps, that isn't entirely true. The sensation was only a flame for the first few weeks after the confrontation at the cabin; slowly, as the two continued to avoid each other, it turned into a spark – maybe even smoldering ashes.
But Bianca had been sure that that was what it would always be. The fire between them could never be gone completely, not with the threat of losing Drew because of Bianca always lingering over Katie. She knew how Katie worked; months ago, Bianca had witnessed the insecurity that lay behind Katie's flawless college application, her skillful moves on the soccer field, and her group of adoring friends at school.
And Katie knew how things had ended between Bianca and Drew. She knew that the two had chosen to go in different directions not because their love for each other had withered away, but because their two worlds made for a dangerous combination. One that had nearly killed Drew's brother. And, after that, Drew had decided that she wasn't worth the risk. Bianca, as much as she loved that boy – more than anyone in her life – had silently agreed.
But sometimes, Bianca was sure that the feelings were still there – for both of them. Useless feelings that would only bring them both pain, but lingering feelings, nonetheless. Bianca had thought for a long time that maybe she was just imagining it, seeing only what she wanted to see. It wasn't until the night that she discovered just how jealous Katie was of her that Bianca realized it was no illusion; Drew Torres had yet to shake his emotions concerning her.
Katie knew that Drew had picked her to start over with because she was safe and normal; she came from a world that held nothing but promise. Of course, he saw qualities in her that he loved. Bianca could see that, and she was fairly certain that, despite her own insecurity, Katie knew that as well. Katie Matlin knew she was, by far, the better choice for Drew – at least, for the time being.
But, because of Bianca, by no means did she have him right where she wanted him. And that was where Katie – school president and soccer captain – wanted her boyfriend.
With every wisp of affection that stirred from time to time between Bianca and Drew, the tension between Katie and Bianca had thickened. At least, that was how Bianca had felt.
She had been sure that things between her and Katie would always be, at the very least, like smoldering ashes. Now, as the girl who may be described as her enemy asks her to hang out, Bianca has no idea how to respond. This whole time she's been so certain that Katie Matlin would never extinguish the flames between them, that she's never taken the time to consider whether or not she, herself, would be willing to.
Now, Katie's eyes are hesitant, too. But, for once, they look genuine to Bianca.
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By the time Bianca stumbles into the Matlins' kitchen, Katie slumped over her shoulder, delirious and giggling, Bianca has had too long to think about what happened to night. She's tired and humiliated and so angry with Katie that it hurts. How could she not have seen this coming? How could she have possibly believed that Katie Matlin wanted anything to do with her as a friend?
And, yet, Bianca had realized something important about Katie tonight. Bianca, herself, was not the source of Katie's insecurity – not by a long shot. Sure, Bianca made things worse at times, added to Katie's worries, but there was a whole set of expectations and flaws weighing down on the girl's shoulders.
Bianca remembers Katie's words, frazzled and frustrated at the club as she popped the first of what would be many pills into her mouth. "Everyone expects me to have it all together, and I just don't."
And that's when it became clear that Katie didn't have as much control as everyone, including Bianca, thought. For the first time, she wasn't so sure her resentment of Katie was justified. Sure, the girl was beautiful, wealthy, and intelligent – but she was also watched. People waited for her to make mistakes; they wanted her to. Bianca, herself, was often guilty of this. Katie was too perfect for anyone to bear.
For once, Bianca stops to think what it must be like to be at the very top. To be that girl that everyone admires and resents at the same time. And she realizes it might not be so easy.
It isn't fun being at the bottom, of course. Bianca knows that more than anyone. But, suddenly, she's no longer jealous of the girl at the top – but of all the ones that fall in the middle.
It's no excuse, though, she thinks bitterly. No excuse to go out and get high just to forget about the pressure. And no excuse, she thinks with more vulnerability, to take advantage of someone like Bianca.
Katie Matlin wanted the "connection." She wanted the drugs. And, as much as it hurt Bianca to know that she was the first person Katie looked to for help with that sort of matter, it stung even more knowing that Katie had never even considered friendship with Bianca.
"I can't feel my hands," Katie is muttering between giggles, "Hands are weird."
Bianca gives her a worried look. Perhaps, Katie is more intoxicated than she originally thought.
"Look at you with that face," Katie sneers, "Like you haven't been waiting to steal Drew from me. Just waiting for Katie Matlin to screw up." She says the last two words vulgarly as if they taste bitter on her tongue.
"Excuse me?" Bianca hisses, unable to stifle the venom in her tone.
"You acted like a sheep," Katie sighs, her head drooping down to the counter, "But you're no sheep – you're a wolf. I always knew it."
"God, you're such a mess," is all Bianca mutters because Katie's drunken analogy still hurts a little.
"Wolf," is all Katie has to murmur the second time for Bianca's blood to over boil.
"Shut up!" She screams, because she can't take it. She can't take knowing that Katie, even in her drunken state, thinks that Bianca had just assumed Katie was in it for the drugs, hadn't even taken the time to clarify her motives. Katie had thought it unnecessary – because why, in the hell, would the girl on top associate with the girl at the bottom for any purpose other than this? And why would the girl at the bottom agree if not to put into action some scheme invented to ruin the girl on top? Of course, Katie has assumed that she is the one who fell for the trick. Because Bianca couldn't possibly have wanted anything more than to see Katie screw up.
In reality, though, Bianca is the pathetic one. After this night, Katie Matlin will never know it, of course. Bianca will pretend that Katie is right, that Bianca only went along with "Girl's Night" to see Katie make a mistake.
But, because Katie is drunk and won't remember in the morning, Bianca tells her the truth just for tonight. "This has nothing to do with Drew. I actually thought you might've wanted to be my friend."
She's not sure what she expected Katie to say; all she knows is that, for some foolish reason, her eyes sting with tears when Katie scoffs.
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