I must be crazy. I haven't written fanfic in what is probably over a year and here I am, making some kind of a return in a brand new fandom (to me, at least). Hoo boy. Let me know if I got anything right (or horrendously wrong for that matter).

Disclaimer: Iron Man and all it's associated characters belong to Marvel, who belongs to Disney. I am not making any profit from this and I make no claims of ownership to anything that you recognize.

Enjoy!

She knew in the way Rhodey had said "Pepper" when she picked up the phone that something was wrong. And that it wasn't the usual 'Tony got drunk and [insert salacious activity here] in public/in front of business interests/with military equipment/all of the above' type of wrong either.

She had felt her face go numb as he told her about how their convoy had been ambushed on the way back to base from the demonstration site. About how everyone in the humvee he had been riding in was dead and that he was missing.

She was sure he had said more, but at that point her hearing had cut out and she just sat in her chair, at her desk, in her office, far, far away from everything and felt cold. She had gotten through the conversation somehow, because she remembered hanging up the phone. She had put her face in her hands and sat there for a few minutes, breathing slow, but deep and with concentrated effort.

He could have gotten away, somehow. Maybe he managed to take a Humvee and is driving it across the desert, back towards base, right now...

She would not cry because Tony was not dead. He had gone missing for longer periods that this. Hell, when Tony decided to go on a bender, she didn't even think to start to worry after 3 days had passed, 5 if any of the previous days had included a Friday, Saturday or Sunday. This wasn't any different, she had told herself.

That had been three weeks ago.

Stark Industries was in disarray. Obadiah was a great help in keeping the board relatively level-headed in light of the CEO's disappearance. However, since her job description had grown over the years to unofficially include standing in for Tony when he was gone, people were starting to come to her with questions. How should this be allocated? What direction should the company go in now? Did they still want to propose that merger with the Japanese? Would she be sitting in on the board of directors meeting tomorrow?

Pepper's response was to hide in her office.

She was a PA, goddamn it! Not CEO or COO or CFO or even Vice President or anything else remotely resembling something important to the company.

The phone on her desk began ringing and she picked up the receiver before slamming it right back down into its cradle.

No phone calls, no e-mails, no anything. Not for the next fifteen minutes. At least.

The phone began ringing again and she disconnected it. She then reached for the remote and flicked on the TV across the room from her desk. She sighed in relief when she saw that they had taken a break from reporting the same 3 tidbits of information regarding Tony's kidnapping. She didn't care what they were reporting on, so long as it wasn't on Tony.

She started to idly straighten in the array of things on her desk, only half paying attention to what was on the TV. Just as she began wondering if she had left any snacks for herself in her mini-fridge, she heard the phrase 'breaking news' come from the TV and she could have ignored it if it hadn't been followed by 'reports are coming in from Al Jazeera television'. Interest piqued, she reached for the remote again and turned up the volume.

"We are getting reports in that a terrorist group calling themselves the 'Ten Rings' is taking responsibility for the kidnapping of Tony Stark. As you may know, business mogul Tony Stark has been missing for three weeks following an ambush attack on his convoy after a weapons demonstration. Speculation has been rampant that the CEO of Stark Industries is dead, but-" the reporter paused, pressing a finger to his earpiece. "We have the footage? Okay," the reporter shuffled his papers on his desk and looked into the camera with renewed interest. "we are cutting in to a live feed of Al Jazeera, which is apparently showing the terrorist group, the Ten Rings, claiming responsibility for the ambush that billionaire Tony Stark went missing in..."

The picture of the news reporter was replaced by grainy video footage. Men were standing in a semi-circle around a person, a man, who had a burlap sack over his head. They all were heavily armed, their faces covered with patterned cloth. Another man, dressed like the others, stood apart from them and was reading a statement from a piece of paper.

The burlap sack was roughly pulled off the seated man's head and Pepper gasped aloud.

Tony was the man sitting in the chair. He blearily looked around, hazy confusion writ large on his features and it was clear he had no idea where he was. His eyes locked on the camera and Pepper felt as if he was staring right at her. Across all those miles and directly into her soul, telling her that he was scared, helpless, confused. She saw a small glimmer or realization in his eyes and could practically hear him wondering if he was going to make it out of this alive.

Tears sprung to her eyes as a translator started to speak over the feed, speaking in bits and pieces as he tried to listen and translate at the same time. "Your arrogance has served us well...many thanks for the gift of Tony Stark, Merchant of Death...Tony Stark is ours and we will use him against all infidels...They demand that all searching be called off or they will kill him-"

Pepper quickly shut off the TV. She didn't need to hear under what other conditions Tony might die. In the silence left behind, the dam within her broke, and sobs wracked her body as she buried her head in her arms on her desk and cried her eyes out.

With the realization that this was unimaginably and infinitely worse than anything Tony had ever gotten himself into before, Pepper felt a gaping hole open in her chest, filled with nothing but the ache of loss.

-x.x.x.x.x-

It had been years since Pepper Potts had stepped inside a church.

She hadn't even known what parish she belonged to until she looked it up on Google Maps.

Our Lady of Malibu Catholic Church was 20 minutes from her apartment. She squeak of the door was loud as she eased into the church, dipping the fingers of her right hand into the cool Holy Water and blessing herself. Her heels were loud as they clacked against the linoleum floor, the sound unnervingly loud in the empty church. Stain glass windows that depicted various scenes from the Bible were set in the walls on either side, with little tableaus of the Stations of the Cross carved out of stone in between them. The rest of the church was decorated in lovely tones of dark woods and cream-colored walls, with soft, warm lights illuminating the sanctuary at the front of the church, giving this church a much more modern feel than the church she had gone to when she was a little girl.

She had many issues with the Church that had caused her to become so very lapsed. She had gone through the nearly-typical disillusionment in her teens and had yet to find her way back. There had been college and then trying to establish herself in the work force and honestly, there was almost no room for religion when it came to the schedule Tony Stark. However, despite the years since she had actively practiced her faith, she could still hear her old Religion Studies teacher, Sister Mary, telling her that those were just excuses and that she should go to confession while she was here.

She reached the front of the church, genuflected (as best she could in a pencil skirt at least) and crossed herself in front of the large cross that hung in the sanctuary, before turning right and heading for the stand of softly flickering candles below a statue of the Virgin Mary. Taking a long thin stick out of the cup full of them off to the side, she placed it in one already burning candle, catching the flame on the end of it. Carefully, she stuck the burning end of the stick into an unlit candle. Once she was sure the flame had been transferred, she blew out the flame on the stick and placed it with the other burnt sticks in a different cup. Before the candles was a kneeling bench and Pepper settled herself down on it, folding her hands. She looked warily up at the statue of the Virgin Mary, muttering "this better work", before reciting the Hail Mary.

She repeated the process, nearly every morning, whether she was working at the office, working at the mansion or just home for the day. If she missed any days because of work, then she would light that many more candles and say that many more Hail Marys when she was next able to stop by.

-x.x.x.x.x-

What was left August slid into September, September into October and October into November. Fall was much like Summer in southern California, the only real difference being that the high temperature slipped down into the 70's from the mid-80's of summer. Obadiah was taking on more responsibility at Stark Industries and Pepper suspected that the Board of Directors would soon hold a vote to officially make him CEO. Foolishly, a part of her felt betrayed by the rumors. Tony had been gone for 3 months now and with no new developments on the search for him, the company had to make a decision to move on at some point. Even she was reluctantly coming to the realization that she would need to look for a new job soon; her resume was left open, but minimized, on her computer, allowing her to attempt to update it when the workday reached a lull. Attempt was the key word though as she usually just ended up taking nostalgic trips down memory lane.

Pepper left work that day feeling sullen and resentful. Three months isn't that long. Other companies have gone much longer without having a actual CEO, I don't see why the board is so eager to give everything back to Obie. She kept these thoughts to herself, not wanting to seem like a crazy person as she walked to her car. The sight of the automobile made her momentarily redirect her simmering resentment at everything towards Happy as he had started taking on other jobs, claiming he was bored of sitting at home, waiting for word on Tony. She railed at everyone and everything on the drive home, the frustration of the past 3 months finally coming to the surface. Once home, she changed into yoga pants and a t-shirt, ordered pizza for the umpteenth time and complained to her beta fish that was set on her coffee table. When the burning, heavy ache in her chest was somewhat satiated by greasy pizza, she opened her laptop, intent on getting some after hours work done.

The sight of her resume, minimized at the bottom of her screen, brought the burning discontent back to the surface and she flipped her laptop off of her lap, the machine closing on itself as it tumbled along the couch cushions. She grabbed her keys, her purse, slipped on a pair of sneakers and headed out the door.

-x.x.x.x.x-

The church was empty as it usually was when she stopped by. There was an elderly man sitting in one of the pews near the front of the church and Pepper took a seat on the one closest to the door and waited until he was gone. Once the door had shut behind him, Pepper stood, making her way down the center aisle.

She did not genuflect when she drew near the sanctuary, just turned sharply on her heel and headed for the small area to the right of the sanctuary where the intention candles were burning brightly in their red holders. She stood before the racks of candles, looked up at the statue of the Virgin Mary, with it's placid face and arms outstretched and spread wide in a gentle gesture of acceptance, with resentment in her eyes and mouth set in a grim line.

"I have come here every day for 3 months. I have put aside my issues with you and have asked nicely for your help. I have BEGGED YOU" she yelled, the two words echoing around the empty, cavernous church, "to bring Tony Stark back alive. And yet what you do is leave me here in this limbo! I don't know if he's alive, if he's dead, if he even remembers who he is! And now everyone is moving on without him and I...I..." she paused, indignant anger deflating into languishing sadness, "I can't," she whispered. "Not until I know." Blue eyes rolled up toward the venerated statue, shining with unshed tears but resolute none the less. "Please," she asked, her voice even but full with a plea from deep within her soul, "give me anything. Dead. Alive. I just need to be able to move on with my life."

The candles burned, flickering slightly in the draft from the ventilation system. The statue was as still and impassive as ever.

Pepper left.

-x.x.x.x.x-

"Move the meeting with the people from the Department of Defense from 12 to 3 and make sure to comp them an extra dinner at the hotel they're staying."

"Of course, Miss Potts, but what about -bzzt bzzt"

Pepper looked at Obie's secretary with bewildered concern. Either she needed to cut back on the coffee or Mrs. Lenahan was turning into a Blackberry. "I'm sorry, Denise, could you repeat that?"

Mr.s Lenahan opened her mouth, but no words came out. Just the same buzzing noise.

Pepper jerked awake in her bed with a startled gasp. Panting a couple of times, she realized that the Blackberry that was currently lit up and buzzing away on her nightstand had invaded her dreams. She clumsily grabbed it, and rolled onto her back, holding it above her face. The display showed her that it was 5:13am and that Lt. Col. James Rhodes was calling.

Her heart stopped for a second before starting to race in her chest. She swallowed, finding that her mouth was suddenly dry, and answered.

"Hello?"

"Pepper?"

"Yeah Rhodey, it's me."

"I'm sorry I-"

Oh God, this is it. They found Tony's body. He's dead and Rhodey's calling me to tell me that he's dead and—

"Just spit it out already, Rhodes." She interrupted, putting a hand over her eyes and squeezing them shut.

"We found him."

Pepper experienced momentary vertigo as all the blood either rushed from her head or flooded into it, she wasn't sure. She opened her mouth and a choked squeak escaped before she found her voice. "I...what?"

"We found him. I would have called sooner, but we had to get him back to base; he'd been wandering around the desert all day. And then when we got him to base, the brass wanted him out of Afghanistan as soon as possible. We've been on an airplane for the past four hours and we just touched down at Ramstein and they're gonna take him over to Landstuhl to get checked out."

Pepper found that she could do nothing but blink. Tony was alive and not only was he alive, but apparently well enough for long flights. Or at least, able to be stabilized to make the long flight from Afghanistan to Germany.

"You still there, Pep?"

"Yeah, I'm here." She said, a huge smile splitting her face. "Tony's alive? Is he—Is he okay?"

"Oh yeah, he's fine." Rhodey answered, sounding amused and irritated at the same time. "Considering how big of a pain in the ass" she could tell that part was emphasized for someone besides her, "he's being, I think he's been on vacation for the past 3 months."

Pepper laughed. It was a laugh that came from somewhere deep within and it bubbled out of her, making her feel like she was light enough drift away on a warm breeze on a sunny day. "Oh God, I'm sorry, I just...is he really ok?"

"He's got some bumps and bruises and he fractured his left arm, but other than that—Tony! Lay down for the nurse or I'm gonna draw my sidearm on you!—he looks ok to me."

She heard a voice from the background that sounded very much like Tony's yell "Is that Pepper on the phone? I wanna talk to her!"

"Look," Rhodey continued in a quieter voice, obviously ignoring Tony. "He might be okay physically, but I'm not too sure about mentally. I swear, if I didn't know any better, I'd think he's coked out of his mind right now."

Pepper's euphoria at knowing Tony was alive was tempered a bit. "You don't think they gave him anything, do you?"

"Army nurses are trying to get blood from him right now. Trying being the operative word. I swear Pepper, I don't know how you control him as well as you do everyday."

Pepper snorted into the phone. "He's relatively well-behaved around you because you're his friend. You should see him when I'm trying to get him out of the shop and into a meeting with the CFO." She paused and thought a minute. "You know, he is allowed to be a little loopy. He was just rescued after 3 months of only God knows what."

Rhodey made a noise of uncertainty into the phone. "There's that, but there's somethin' else too. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I'd be on your toes when he comes home." There was some kind of commotion in the background and Pepper heard the rustle of fabric and assumed that Rhodey was muffling the phone against his shirt. God, she felt sorry for the nurses and staff there. Tony was an extremely high energy person, always moving, talking, doing, fidgeting, writing, something to keep moving, to keep his brain engaged. And he'd just been rescued after 3 months of imprisonment, with (presumably) nothing to tinker with and no one to talk to.

She wondered, briefly, if she should call the high-end escort services that Tony occasionally liked to patronize, and warn them about what was headed their way. The thought was brushed aside when she heard more commotion from the phone.

"...Will you stop?"

"She's my assistant Rhodes, not yours. Get your own leggy redhead."

"Tony, you shouldn't be-" there was the sound of the phone being fought for and then...

"Pepper?"

Her heart stopped in her chest.

"Mr. Stark," she replied cooly because if she replied in any other way, he would lord it over her head for all eternity. She could hear Rhodey yelling 'Five, Tony! It's like you are five years old!' in the background.

"Oh sweet merciful God, I think I can smell America through the phone," he said, sounding nearly orgasmic. "Did you have hot dogs for dinner? Please tell me you had something American for dinner like hot dogs or, even better, hamburgers." She heard him breathe deeply. "Or is that just your lovely self?"

Pepper smiled, despite herself. "Are you saying I smell like meat products, Mr. Stark? Because honestly, I think that would be the most offensive thing you've ever said to me." That same, bubbling, soul-lifting laughter was threatening to break through again.

"I thought that comment I made one time involving a porno starring a redheaded secretary was the most offensive thing I've ever said to you?"

And break through the laughter did. She laughed under her sides hurt and tears rolled down her cheeks. And she only laughed harder when she heard Tony complaining that Rhodey had made her hysterical.

Tony Stark was alive.

-x.x.x.x.x-

She never noticed before how beautiful the sunlight streaming in through the stain-glass windows was. The church was filled with golden light from the skylights over head, making the cavernous space seem filled with warmth and love. Part of her wanted to think that this had been done for her by some cosmic force, but she knew it was her brain projecting her utter relief at Tony's return on anything it could latch on to.

She made the now-familiar trek to the Intention candles and stood before it, hands clasped together in front of her.

"I can't stay long and I won't waste my time explaining why, because if you're real you already know why..." Pepper said, smoothing the front of her pencil skirt. "So, um...thank you."

She stood for a second unsure of what to do next. Should she offer up a prayer, just leave? She spilt the difference and settled for blessing herself quickly before heading out of the church.

-x.x.x.x.x-

The plane was an hour late and Pepper was willing to bet her eye teeth that Tony had something to do with it. She didn't mind though because it had given her time to get the last of her tears out. (She had honestly thought she was going to be fine, but then she had watched a C-130 land that was not Tony's (but at the time she thought it had been his) and she felt tears well up in her eyes and the bridge of her nose get all prickly.) This time it was Tony's plane and she and Happy were waiting on the tarmac as the plane taxied around to them. Once properly situated, the rear hatch to the C-130 cargo plane lowered slowly and she saw Tony's hair first. It was longer than she remembered and sticking out in wild directions, but it still managed to have that painstakingly perfectly mussed look. Slowly his head and upper body came into view and she saw that he was tan, wearing sunglasses, dressed in a suit and had his left arm in a sling. And despite the mussed hair, the sling and the stubble on his jaw, he still managed to look movie-star gorgeous.

Not even the United States' military can best the vanity of Tony Stark. Pepper fought the urge to sigh like a love-struck 16-year-old. He was her boss and he had just been through a very traumatic ordeal. So what if he walked away from it looking like he'd stepped out of a freaking Armani ad?

He descended the ramp with Rhodey, who waved away the paramedic unit on stand by. She wouldn't have been able to stop the smile spreading on her face as he approached her even if she tried.

"Hmm, you're eyes are red. Tears for your long lost boss?*"

"Tears of joy," she quipped. "I hate job hunting.*"

"Yeah, well, vacations over.*"

Pepper bit her tongue. Compared to the last three months, it felt like it was just beginning.

* = lines taken directly from the movie. They are not mine and all credit should go to their original creator(s).