I'm just putting this out there to see if people want me to continue.

11 September 2000

"It's like climbing down a ladder. It's like climbing down a ladder that descends into a dark, all consuming pit." He glared at me with a blank unreadable expression.

"Shawn that is the worst description of love ever!" He said while looking at me like I need to be tested for insanity.

"C'mon son! That's exactly what it's like!" I choose to ignore his tut and continue, "You can either chose to delve into love, which will consume you, or escape." Personally, I feel like it's accurate.

"All I'm saying is that if you say that when proposing to Alex she won't be happy." He says with a slight undertone os seriousness to his voice.

"Pfffft. No matter what I do she'll say yes, you know it!" He shakes his head solemnly at my ego. I've been in love with Alex for over a year now and it's been amazing. She started out as a pain in the backside when she became my Junior Detective but she quickly became a vital member of the precinct. She's smart, brave and beautiful. I couldn't possibly think of a better candidate for the role of fiancé-to-be.

15 September 2000

"Ok everybody, listen up! We have a top priority case. I want all available resources on this. Meredith you're up!" Chief Daniels shouted. His shouts could travel miles but it sounded pretty loud when bouncing off the confines walls of the Los Angeles Homicide Division. Special Agent Meredith of the FBI stepped into the middle of the room to address us all. Agent Meredith or as I know him, Levi, was a medium sized, tall, dark hared man in his late twenties. He was a great friend of mine, he would be my choice of best friend if I didn't have Gus.

Levi clear's his throat and begins to talk, "Everybody, I am Special Agent Meredith of the Federal Bureau of Investigations. Currently this case is not under FBI jurisdiction however we are able to take over at any point if we feel like having the FBI on this case will improve the chance of finding this killer. I am here to work on the case and give information and updates regarding the case to HQ." He takes in a deep breath so he can continue and get this over with. He has a small fear of public speaking, "About 4 weeks ago a Jon Doe was found in the woods. He was badly injured, he had multiple stab wounds and gunshot wounds. A week later we found a Jane Doe with similar injuries in an abandoned factory. At this point the FBI had been suspicious of a link between these two deaths but we didn't look into it on account of there being no evidence to link these crimes. About a week ago another body was found. This time it was a young boy-" Levi visibly takes a sharp intake of air and you can see some of the officers bow their head, "-and we had identified his as being a Campbell Harrison. We found out that he was related to the two other victims, they were his parents. We need this over now. Detective Spencer will take lead." He ended his speech and headed straight for the chiefs office. I got to work.

22 November 2000

"We've got him! I just know it!" Alex says excitedly as we prepare to enter the sub-urban house. It has three floors including the basement. We suspect that Jefferson Winfred, the Family Killer is inside. Alex goes around the back to breach through the back door and I go for the front door. Once I'm there I tell Alex to enter over my radio and I open the door myself. When I open the door a sudden blast of heat explodes in front of me and I am propelled backwards. When I open my eyes and look down I see that the front of the house is in ruins and I have blood seeping from the side, the sides that aren't covered by my bullet proof vest. My vision starts to blur and I close my eyes and let myself fall asleep…. a sleep I doubt I'll be waking up from.

4 December 2000

My head hurts *beep* I must have a migraine because I've never been in this much pain before in my life. *beep* I try to role onto my front but there is a painful tug at my arm. "What the…." I mutter as I open my eyes. White, that's all I see; white. I'm in a hospital and the first though that comes to my mind is 'What the fuck!' I start breathing heavily, tugging at the IV in my arm. Suddenly two nurses rush in and hold me down on the bed, I try to writhe away but I can't seem to shake them off. I have a sudden realisation, I'm having a panic attack. This knowledge did nothing to calm me down, if anything it just made me more terrified that I was before. A man who I assume to be a doctor comes rushing in and I see that there is a syringe in his hand. I freak out. He pins down my left arm by placing his hand on the inside of my elbow. He opens up his middle and for finger to expose a thin, barely visible vain. He slowly pushes the syringe into my arm and injects the…. Whatever it is… I suddenly start to feel drowsy and I realise that he just injected me with some kind of tranquiliser…

When I wake up again I'm much calmer. I see that Gus is next to me staring at me like I'm dying. "Hey buddy!" I try to sound enthusiastic but it comes out all croaky and pathetic. I suddenly realise that Alex isn't here. That's not like her at all, she's the clingy type so she would probably have sat next to me the entire day. "Where's Alex? She's probably gone to get me a pineapple smoothie because she knew I was going to wake up right?" I say as I plaster a massive grin on my face.

"Shawn…" Gus begins but he's using a tone that reflects sorrow… "Alex, she.. She got hurt." He says while staring at the floor refusing to make eye contact with me. Suddenly a wave of memories comes to me. I was at the fore-front of an explosion… I was bleeding. Suddenly my sides start to hurt as I realise that bandages cover my entire torso… Damn it!

"Gus! What happened to Alex?" I demand. He looks up at me and I see a tear escape from the corner of one of his eyes. They are both red and raw.

"She died Shawn. She was shot. Twice." He says. "The doctors said there was no chance, she died before she even got to the hospital. She passed out as soon as she was shot and didn't wake up afterwards. She felt little pain." I don't believe this. I can't believe this. I yank out my IV and run out of the room, I'm in a very thin hospital gown that doesn't cover the back but that doesn't even begin to bother me. This can't be happening. I suddenly fall to the ground with my backside facing upwards. I start to weep, this is not a soft, quiet weep. This is a full on waterfall of tears. Alex is dead and I couldn't do anything to save her.