Stupid karma
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Maru) sup peeps okay this has nothing to do with F.Y.W.T.O. just to let you know this is cause we're bored but we'll keep up dating the other story but for now read this super awesome one shot.
Lulu) Yup and we are planning on making a one-shot for all of our favorite characters. I think. Oh and I get to throw thing at them. It's going to be so much fun.=}
Maru) Yep and our first victim, um I mean our first character is Da da daaa Jiraiya.
Lulu) oh man why does it have to be the pervert?
Maru) Cause it will be fun that's why.
Jiraiya) I'm not a pervert
Maru and Lulu) Yes you are.
Jiraiya) ok maybe I am but at least I write good ass books.
Lulu) Well you got me there. Hey and speaking of books do you have a copy of your newest book. Plezzzzz I want to read it.
Jiraiya) It depends how old are you?
Lulu) Ummm, 18.
Maru) No your not I'm 18, you're only 16 and his perverted books will corrupt your mind and……..
Lulu) but my minds already corrupted……
Maru) Yeah good point I guess so go get your book from the sage and then we'll start the story, kay.
Lulu) thank you Maru-chan
Maru) Now to the one-shot.
Lulu's POV:
"Oh my god it's cold. Where is mother at?" I said while jumping around in a small circle trying to stay warm.
"Un unh, but this pop is cold and the coldness of outside isn't helping any" Maru said sighing.
"I know right but it was free pop so I ain't complaining" I said grinning.
"Hey where did you get these from anyways Lu-chan?" Maru asked holding up the can of Pepsi.
"Ummm, I forgot." I said while rubbing the back of my head.
"Hey this is completely a random off subject type thing but how cool would it be if the karma gods sent us a super cool ninja?" Maru said looking at me as she shoved the can of pop in her hoodie pocket.
"That would be awesome beyond belief" I said "We should ask the karma gods to send us a Naruto ninja"
"Sure can't hurt to try" Maru said
"Karma gods we ask you to send us a super bad ass ninja we're not being picky anyone will work" I said looking up at the sky
"Yeah as long as it's not someone who will kill us or well that's as far as my concern goes" Maru said looking skyward too.
There was a loud popping sound and a very bright light (think of a bright ass camera flashing right in your eyes) as soon as I was done seeing spots dancing around; I noticed that Jiraiya was standing in front of us. So I did the only thing I could think of, I threw my can of Pepsi at him, hitting him right between the eyes.
"Holy hell you just cracked Jiraiya in the face with you can of Pepsi… do it again" Maru said laughing as the white haired man sat up.
"Hey why are you throwing things at me and who are you and where am I at?" he asked as he stood up and my can of pop hit the ground and exploded.
"NOOOOO my wonderful can of pop just exploded." I was on my knees arms stretched toward the sky and yelling. After I finished my yelling I stood up and pointed at Jiraiya "It's all your fault. You're face broke my pop. I demand that you get me a new one." I stopped my foot on the ground in a childish way.
"What's pop?" he asked rubbing the back of his neck.
"Here Lu-chan you can have mine" I said tossing it to her then looked at the man in front of us "How did you get here?" I asked
"I don't know I was hoping you two knew so do you?" he asked.
"Nope no clue" I lied thinking this would be fun to mess with him for a bit until we sent him back to the Naruto world.
"But Maru-chan didn't we just ask the Karma gods to send us a super bad ass ninja. But then again they didn't even do that they sent us a pervert, who's a really bad ninja cuz he got hit in the face with a can of pop by someone who's not even a ninja." I stated in a matter-of-fact type of way, before going back to my new can of pop.
"Man you ruin all my fun I wanted to be mean to him for a bit and good point he didn't even try to duck how the hell are you ranked as a Sanin you perv?" Maru asked looking at him in a questioning kind of way.
"I'm not a pervert you sound just like Naruto" he said looking at me.
"She doesn't sound like Naruto. Man I think your going crazy, old age must be catching up to you. You old man."
I said.
"I'm not old" Jiraiya barked glaring at me
"Hey Maru umm, who's he going to stay with I don't think my mom would take to kindly to an old man living with us" I said looking at my friend who looked like she had stopped breathing.
"Oh my god we have to ask the wonderful Karma gods to take him back." She said in one breath "Cause there is no way in hell that he's staying at my apartment"
"Ummm you have to do the asking though, cuz I kind-of pissed off the Karma gods earlier today when I push Megan down the steps when she pissed me off." I said rubbing the back of my head.
"Damn you too" Maru asked looking at me.
"Why what did you do?" I asked looking at her.
"Heh I kinda sorta might of accidently hit Gary in the face with a lunch tray today" she said sheepishly looking at her feet.
"Damn then that means that the Karma Gods are getting there revenge on us by sticking us with pervy-sage." I said while slamming my fist into my hand acting as if I just solved world hunger.
"But that would be mean of the Karma gods and totally unfair. I mean that this is just wrong on so many levels and besides whose house would he stay at. And what if he tried peeping on us when we took showers and…" Maru's rambling went on for a few more minutes before she finally noticed that I wasn't next to her. In fact I wasn't within ten feet of the poor girl. It's a sad fact that I can't be around Maru when she's in full rant mode.
"Hey Lu-chan where did you go?" I was in the process of trying to be a ninja and sneak away but sadly the Karma Gods really did have it out for me.
"Hey Lu-chan where you going?" Maru asked right behide me. I looked back at her trying not to give into my urge to take off screaming down the street.
"Um no where Maru-chan." I said sweating bullets like we were going to get into a gun fight before the day was over.
"Then where were you going?" She asked with a sweet and innocence voice that could full anyone but me, and that voice was like a promise for pain if she revived an answer that she didn't like.
"Um I was going to go, um… look for…um" I looked around trying to figure some way out of this dilemma. And that's when I noticed that Jiraiya was missing and in his place where red flashing line.
"I was looking for Jiraiya. And also wondering if I'm going crazy because I see red flashing lines in the middle of the sidewalk." I said pointing to said red lines.
"Oh my god, your right." She screamed
"Um… about what?" I asked unsure of my friend's sanity.
"About the red flashing lines. I see them to."
"Oh ok then so what do you think they mean?"
"You know they kind-of reminded me of in an amine, you know when someone goes missing and then either one of two things happen or sometimes both, then people either have a question mark over their heads before they go back to whatever it was that they were doing or they start screaming and running around in circles like a headless chicken."
Maru had her hand under her chin as if she was thinking real hard on my words.
"You know that makes a lot of sense, but um we aren't missing anyone, are we?"
"Um I don't think so." I said while trying to remember what brought on this random conversation. Then a bright light popped up over my head. "Oh my god, where's Jiraiya????" I half yelled and half asked. But my question was soon answered when he ran passed us screaming about people after him. I turned to look the way he just came from only to see women in towels running passed me trying to catch the sage.
"Oh wow that answer's my question."
"I know… hey maybe sense the Karma gods answered your question maybe they will take back the old pervert. "Well that is if we can ever find him." Maru said looking behind random bushes and next to houses.
"Well you have fun looking for him, I'm just going to sit right here and wait for him to come back." I said taking a seat on some steps.
"How do you know that he's going to come back he might need rescued or something. Or he could be trapped in a dark ally with a gang and they could pull a gun on him or something." Maru said going back into full rant mood.
"Maru" I said cutting her off "he may be a perv, but he is a ninja. He'll be fine I swear."
"Ok Lu-Chan but I'm not going to give up on trying to find him." She said before going back to looking under a rock asking if he was there.
An Hour later
"Ok now the damn Karma Gods are really pushing my damn patience to its limit." I said pacing back and forth in-front of the steps that I was sitting on.
"Damn it where the hell is Maru at?"
"Hey Lu-chan I found him." I turned to see Maru walking towards me, dragging a tied up Jiraiya behide her. I swear I wasn't able to pick my jaw up off the ground for a good five minutes.
"Where the hell did you find him? He's a god damn ninja! Where! How? I don't get it" I said pointing at the unconscious Jiraiya
"Oh that was easy, see I found him down at the YMCA trying to peak into the women's locker room. And when I pointed this out to the people inside the locker room, they kind-of came at him with the intent to kill. So I had to save him but by then he was already unconscious."
"Hum well that explains a lot. So any thoughts on how to get him back to the wonderful world of Naruto?"
"Umm we could beat him until the Karma Gods take him back?"
"Um I don't think that would work out so well."
"We could always try."
"Good point."
"Okay I get the bat and you get the stick" Maru said pulling the objects from behind her back grinning.
"Um no"
"Fine you can use the bat and I'll use the stick but I get his face"
"Ok then I get the important male part."
"Ok that will work."
"No it won't" Said a now conscious Jiraiya
"Wait I thought you just said, aww hey look Jiraiya's awake." Maru said pointing at him.
"He's still tied up we can still beat him till the Karma Gods take him back" I said pointing the bat at him.
"Yea that's a good idea." Maru said as we started walking towards him with our weapons ready
"Now come on lady's there must be some way we can work this out…… AHHH please no not there AHHHHHHHHHHH NO PLEASE NO AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"We haven't done any thing yet" Maru said.
"Yea so shut up" I said looking at the teary eyed sanin.
"Its practice… look lady's can't we think of something that doesn't involve me getting beat?" he asked looking up at us.
"Hum what do you think Lu-chan?" Maru asked looking over at me propping the stick on her shoulder.
"I don't know, beating him would be fun," there was a sound of protest from Jiraiya "but we could just try to pray to the Karma Gods or something like that" I said then heard a very enthusiastic yes from Jiraiya.
"Fine I guess man I never get to have any fun" Maru said as she tossed the stick over her shoulder as she turned then the stick hit the sage on his head.
"Ow you hit me" he said "When are you going to untie me?" he asked looking at us from the ground.
"Mar-chan did you see that the stick hit him" I said jumping up and down.
"No I missed it give me the bat and I'll try again" she said grinning innocently holding out her hands.
"No the stick hit him that means the Karma Gods forgive us for what we did" I said handing her the bat.
"Don't give her that I she'll hit me with it" Jiraiya shouted moving back with his feet.
"What how could you say something like that about poor Maru-chan. She's the nicest most innocent person I have ever meant." I said making hand gesture's to prove my point
"What that's a lie….AHHH. See she hit me again."
"Hey I didn't do anything. How can you say something like that" Maru said with tears in her eyes.
"What are you talking about Jiraiya, I didn't see anything. I think old age is catching up with you." I said looking at him.
"Why are you so cruel to me?" he asked fake anime tears in his eyes.
"We're not mean" Maru said.
"Yeah" I said crossing my arms over my chest.
"Ha lies your friend beats me and you let her." He said.
"Maru-chan didn't beat you" I said looking at her.
"Yeah I never beat you… the bat did" she said dropping the bat to her side from its previous position over his head.
"Who's holding the bat" he said looking at Maru.
"The evil bat gnomes" she said grinning.
"What the hell are bat gnomes?" he asked.
"There the little people who make baseball bats and make people do this" she said whacking Jiraiya in the back of the head with the bat.
"Stop hitting me" he shouted pulling his face from the sidewalk.
"I didn't do it the bat gnomes did" Maru yelled pointing at the bat with her free hand.
"Yea didn't your mother ever tell you about the bat gnomes?" I said while trying not to laugh.
"You two are nuts and I thought Naruto was bad he's a saint compared to you two" he said shaking his head.
"Okay he just compared us to Naruto now we must kill him" Maru said lifting the bat above her head and stepping toward the sage.
"Ahhh no, no killing me" he said sticking his foot up in the way of Maru and the incoming bat.
"Mar-chan lets just ask the Karma Gods to take him back" I said grabbing he bat from her
"But Lulu-chan he compared us to Naruto that requires some form of punishment doesn't it."
"Hum I guess you're right, so why don't we send him back to Lady Tsunade so she can beat the hell out of him?"
"Humf, you know that sounds great especially the beating part." Maru said lowering the bat to her side.
"Yup, so let's ask our lovely, lovely Karma gods to take him back. Dear Karma Gods Please we beg you to take back the ninja." I said
"Hey how the hell did you get the bat back?" Jiraiya asked pointing his foot at Maru.
"Well you see when you and Lulu were talking, and being the awesome ninja that I am, I took the bat from Lulu. And that's the story on how I got the bat from Lulu. Hey that was a great story do you want to hear it again?"
"Um no I think I'm good, thank you." Jiraiya said.
"Ok Maru-chan concentrate on the job at hand."
"Okay Lulu-chan" Maru said saluting me.
"Our dearest Karma Gods please take back Jiraiya. We apparent your kind gift but we are no longer able to keep it." A few moments later there was another bright flash of light and Jiraiya was gone.
"Hey Lu-chan it work, he's gone."
"Yea I know and thank
god for it." I said picking up my backpack "Hey I just realize my
mother never came to pick us up. I wonder where she is."
"Hey maybe she forgot about us." Maru said marching down the street
"Yea probably, I mean today has been really weird."
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Lulu- Hey hoped you like it
Maru- And hope even more that you review and tell us what you think
Lulu- It would be greatly apprenticed.
Maru- thank you
Lulu- Oh and one more thing—you people know you want to laugh come on I know you do. So give in to your greatest desire and laugh.
Maru- yes laugh hahahahahaha see its fun.