"We need to break up"
Those five words, fifteen letters and five syllables are the band of Remus Lupin's existence. He understands-of course he freaking understands, Remus is a nineteen year old bibliophile who reads more than he leaves his flat and who's only long term friends are his prissy cats, who of course are named Shakespeare and Dickens because Remus is totally hipster like that, not to mention Remus's failed attempt of becoming a photographer complete with a degree in which his only projects seem to be of his aforementioned temperamental cats and the view from his utterly shitty flat which is basically just the prison that he lives across from and the sunset/rise if he manages to stay awake for them. Also, his utterly boring job as stacking shelves in sainsburys is worth mentioning because everyone knows putting tins of beams into a pyramid is the sexiest thing a person can do.
He isn't a catch by anyone's standards, let alone his own.
Why would Sirius Black, the utterly gorgeous philosophy student with smokey eyes and a job in Starbucks-the coolest place people can get jobs in, also the place that didn't accept Remus' application-and Remus's boyfriend of six months want to stay with him when beautiful pricks like Fabian Prewitt and Frank Longbottom are practically throwing themselves at him? Remus doesn't know, but he does know that he manages to get a decent six months out of his so far favourite relationship with anybody. Six months worth of slightly sticky and popcorn-filled cinema dates, geeky nights in with several marvel films, their university hoodies and plaid pyjama bottoms and not to mention the wonderful, glorious shagging into all hours of the night until the horrid git that lived beside Remus banged on the paper thin walls and yelled at them.
Remus sinks lower on his stained and squashy sofa and tries not to think of his newest ex-boyfriend. His cats curl towards him as he folds himself into his self-pity position, legs folded inwards towards his stomach and his arms lying over them. He's getting really into his self-pity mode, wearing his footie Captain America pyjama bottoms and an oversized tee-shirt that used to belong to his best friend James...James who introduced him to Sirius.
Remus sniffles pathetically and uses the remote to thumb through MTV, keeping one hand on his warm vat (because it's too big to be called a cup) of hot, sweet tea to keep it steady while he bitterly mocks everyone he sees on the television who even looks vaguely happy with what he thinks are witty and intelligent snarky comments.
"How long will I...be forced to listen to this crap!"
"And all of me...wants to turn this crap over."
"Because I'm happy-okay, that's just freaking harsh. Rub my bloody nose in it will you?"
He flips the channel one last time, preparing to shed a boat load on snark and general horrendousness on his next victim when he sees who it is and practically crows in delight.
"Yeeeees! Take that! Lay the depressingness on me Gary!" He exclaims, and jiggles his tea and the cats in the process.
"Oh sorry babies-I NEED A LITTLE PATIENCE!" The tawny-haired fellow screams pitifully along with the band on screen as he sets his tea down carefully and stands up, dancing along to the music as tears start to form in his golden eyes. He bites his lips as he wails along with the lyrics, causing the felines to look at him in distress as their human sways to the beat.
Remus wipes at the tears and is surprised to find out how godamned sad he is. He sits back down on the couch a little pathetically as the sobs start to bubble out of his chest. He folds up again and buries his head into his pyjamas bottoms as his shoulders shake. This isn't him-he's never gotten this hung up about a guy before. Not even when his crush broke up with him in fourth year for the first time. Not even when his long term boyfriend Fenrir left him, with bruises and scars to mark not only his past but also his future.
Remus burrows into his knees further and wishes desperately that James hadn't made him stop drinking, or smoking for the matter. He's desperate for a cigarette. Anything to calm him down, bring him back from this downright snivelling idiot that can't seen to stop his shoulders from shaking and the pathetic sobs from limping out of his mouth.
His phone bleeps and Remus attempts to compose himself when he sees that it's James, Potter. Remus remembers the day that James's father married Remus's mother, it was the same day Remus first kissed a bloke. Gilderoy Lockheart, hot and sweaty pressed against tree not far from the church.
He wonders what he was doing now-Remus hopes that for the younger boy's sake that he isn't as heartbroken as he is.
"Remus-it's James."
"I do have caller ID James." Remus responds snarkily and hates the fact his voice is thick and broken. He bites his lips as more tears dribble down his cheeks. As sobs leak out of his mouth, the older boy tries his best to be silent but can't help the tiny heaving sound that escapes.
"Rem-I'm sorry Rem. I don't why he did it."
"Because I'm not g-good enough-it's o-okay James, I f-freaking get it." Remus confesses brokenly and he hears James sigh over the line before he hears him snap at someone who most definitely isn't him.
"See what you've done, you utter prick. You've freaking broken my older brother's-"
"I gotta g-go James!" Remus squeaks and he hangs up quickly, hoping that James didn't have the phone on loudspeaker, because as far as Sirius is concerned, Remus hasn't bat an eyelash at their break up. As far as Sirius is concerned, Remus is cool, suave and dressed in sexy tight jeans. Because he's totally over him. Totally.
Remus sobs into a pillow like child, cuddles up under a patchwork quilt with his two reproachful cats and wishes what he said was true.
(Pagebreak)
The incessant knocking jolts Remus from his restless slumber, he jerks upwards, jostling the cats and blinking sleep from his eyes. His face feels sticky and stiff as he clambers awkwardly to his feet and stretches, his shirt clubbing upwards and exposing a sliver of Remus's scarred stomach. The knocking never ceases as Remus pads out to the door, unlocking it and pulling the chain across, the door swinging open easily with nothing to hold it.
Sirius stands there, soaking. His ebony hair falling into his eyes as he looks up at Remus mournfully. Remus is somewhat happy to admit that Sirius looks just as bad as he does, only with the addition of outdoor clothes. His grey eyes are ringed with red with black smudges beneath them. He looks dishevelled and dirty and Remus can't disagree that he is the most beautiful thing that Remus has seen in a very long time. Remus's breath catches his throat and he slams the door closed, only to have a foot jammed in and a small, raspy voice say,
"Moon-Remi-Remus. Can we talk?"
Remus swallows thickly before letting up and letting the door open and standing aside for Sirius to traipse into his flat soddenly. "Go on through to the kitchen, you know where it is. I'll get you a towel-you might have so clothes here too." Remus says flatly, hating himself for the tragic break in his voice.
"Remus-"
Remus turns without a word and walks through the hallway to the hot press, grabbing a fluffy, white towel before disappearing into his bedroom to grab the tracksuit bottoms and band tee-shirt he knows Sirius has left here. After a thought he grabs socks and trails back out to the kitchen and hands the bundle to the as equally-depressed looking man hunched over on his kitchen chair.
"I-"
"You can get changed in the bathroom. You know where it is." Remus is somewhat proud of how stable his voice is. It's not a smooth melody like that band all the teenagers are going mental over but he's glad that it doesn't break that much.
Sirius casts him in a look as he walks to the bathroom and he looks more like a kicked puppy than he ever has with his dripping hair and mournful eyes. Remus looks at the slight puddle that's been lefts on his kitchen tables and fires a tea towel at it as he trails over to plonk on his over used travel kettle.
Sirius Black...they'd never been friends before they were together. There had been a raging tension between them the night they met at James's flat warming party. He'd bumped into Sirius on his way out in a drink run and the dark haired male had offered to give him a lift on his bike. Remus had of course agreed (after checking with James that Sirius wasn't a massive creeper likely to try and have his way with him in an alley) and they'd made it to the end of the night with hundreds of flirty comments and banter before it ended with an impromptu make-out session at Remus's front door (which was quickly stopped after the neighbour chucks a milk bottle at him).
They'd been great together, it was all gentle banter and frantic snogging and elbows in ribs and late night movies and-and-and-
The kettle jumps off the click with a pop and Remus jumps, his hands going up to his eyes and furiously batting away tear that he hadn't felt brewing. "Remus?"
Remus head jerks up and he sees Sirius in pretty much the same state as himself. His cheeks are paler than usual and his faint freckles are more prominent along his cheekbone. Freckles that Remus only knows about because of long days spent in bed with Remus dotted kisses along every each and every one.
"Sirius."
It's all Sirius needs to come striding across Remus's cracked kitchen tiles, the slight squeak of his socks lost in the sound of their desperate need. Sirius's arms are so tight and warm and familiar around his smaller body. "I didn't mean-any of it-you know I didn't-I just, I don't know it was stupid and I can't but I need you Remus. I need you." Sirius says all in one breath, his eyes are wide as he hastens to explain himself. "You were just so-just so Remus! And you were getting so close and when we first met I knew you would be good but I didn't know you would be this good and I need you and I didn't realise how much I needed you until you were gone and I had no one to hold or hug or laugh at films with-"
"Sirius?"
"Hmm?"
"Shut up."
And then they're kissing and it feel likes coming home. It feels like they've announced the date for their wedding. It feels like they've moved in together. It feels like they're watching their favourite film, cuddled up together on his old sofa. It feels like the afterwards bliss when Remus has a sleepy satiated smile dancing across his features and Sirius is still cuddling him no matter how tired they are.
It feels like the end of the best-break he's ever had.
A/N
School still sucks. But thanks for everyone that left reviews saying nice things. I love you all! Anyway I'm doing some really different things really soon and damned the consequences. Also, I'll doing a profile read out and deleting some Fics and rewriting some. Anybody miss bowling? :)
-L3B