Author's Note: If you didn't read the summary that's glued to the title, this is a fanfiction on my favorite book of the moment, Looking for Alaska, in Alaska's point of view set on the last day. Beware: if you haven't finished the book, the spoilers will ruin it for you. :( Italics are actual lines from the book.

Disclaimer: I do not own John Green's wonderful book(s), characters, or plot (as much as I hate to say).

"Gaah."

What a ladylike thing to say, right? It's not like I cared anyway. I sat up from Pudge's chest and immediately wanted to lie back down. Note to self: get up slowly when you just had a load of Strawberry Hill.

But, dear God, this was going to be a pain in the ass tomorrow morning – especially with classes.

I yawned, wanting to lie back down when the phone rang. I looked at the clock on the table. 3:02 AM. How fucking fabulous.

I groggily got up, feeling and crawling my way to the door, turned the handle, and picked up the pay phone.

"Hello?" I answered, my voice cracking. Whoa, did my voice really sound that bad in the morning?

"Hey, babe, did you have a nice anniversary?"

Oh my, God. I can't believe I forgot!

"I had a splendid anniversary. How was yours?" I asked politely as I hid the utter guiltiness deep down. I can't believe I didn't remember and I made out with Pudge! What kind of girlfriend am I?

"It was absolutely fantastic. God, I miss you so much Alaska…" While he rambled on, I picked up a spare pencil off the ground and doodled myself a patch of flowers.

Breaking my silence, Jake asks, "What are you doing?"

"Nothing, just doodling," I say, being completely honest for the first time throughout the entire conversation.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

I drop my pencil.

"Oh God. Shit, shit, shit." I sob. What is this? The day Alaska forgets everything? I can't believe I forgot yesterday! How will she forgive me? "I have to go; I'll talk to you later. Bye!" I didn't wait for a response, I just hung up.

Shit, shit, shit. How could I forget? I always, always, always leave flowers for her. My own mother's death day! God, what kind of daughter am I?

I ran back into my room, slamming the door open and close.

"I have to get out of here!" I paced back and forth, plotting a way to get flowers. Oh! The tulips that Jake got me!

Pudge rubbed his eyes and looked up at me. "What's wrong?" he yawned.

"I forgot! God, how many times can I fuck up? I just have to go. Help me get out of here!" I screamed.

"Where do you need to go?" Pudge looked at me in an innocent way that almost seemed like they forgave me for everything I've done.

It just made me break down more.

I curled up into a fetal position. "Just please distract the Eagle right now so I can go. Please." My sobs were turning into screams.

"Okay," they both said in unison. I could tell they weren't okay with it at all.

The Colonel spoke up in a soothing voice, "Just don't turn on your lights. Just drive slow and don't turn on your lights." He paused for a second. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Holy fuck. Of course I'm not! My mother probably hates me by now.

"Fuck. Just get rid of the Eagle for me. God oh God, I'm so sorry," I half apologized. I couldn't start explain how horrible I felt. I just needed to get to the cemetery – now.

"Okay. Start the car when you hear the second string," the Colonel instructed.

From there, we made our separate ways.

-x-

I ran to my bookshelf, grabbed the plastic vase of the white tulips, grabbed my keys, and made my way to my car.

I screamed at myself as I crossed the soccer field. God, why did I have to fuck everything up?

Takumi ran to my side. He, too, looked like he was in desperate need of sleep. "Hey, what's wrong, Alaska?"

I stopped and looked into his eyes, while mine were streaming with tears. I must've looked like one hell of a mess.

I always was able to trust Takumi, right? I took a deep inhale. "Yesterday, January 10th, if you recall, was the day my mom died. I always bring her flowers on January 10th. Takumi, I can't fuck this up again. She's been dead for eight years now and I always brought her flowers on her anniversary. I can't believe I fucking forgot! I must fuck everything up." Tears were now pouring down. "I need to go, Takumi."

And I ran, even though I heard Takumi yelling at me not to drive drunk. I just ran.

I ran for her anniversary. I ran to get away from Takumi. I ran for forgiveness. I ran for my mom.

As I stumbled into my car, I listened to for the second string of firecrackers.

BANG!

There it was. I started my car and headed to the cemetery with the flowers in the back, still drunk.

-x-

"God dammit!" I slammed my fist down on the steering wheel.

There, the one thing blocking me from me and my mom, was a jackknifed truck.

I reversed, looking for a way around the truck.

There. There was an opening that barely looked slim enough for me to past through – right in between the police car and the truck.

I set my eyes on there and stomped on the gas petal as the police officer ran from his car.

Then I felt nothing.

I had made my way out of the labyrinth. Straight and fast.

Gawd, I wanted to write this since I finished the book! Blame my friend for delaying me. We've been hanging out for seven days straight. :x

Anyway, here you go – the crash set in Alaska's point of view, complete with errors I probably won't fix until you specifically tell me. P: I know it sucks. It took me about two hours to write, and it's currently 1:30 AM here. So. Yeah. Please do tell if something looks wrong, I'll be happy to fix it. A bit OoC? I think so. x:

Also, anyone up for a good discussion on this book? I would love to have one. (:

R&R, please! Remember: constructive criticism is your friend! :)