Author's notes: To introduce, explain, and give credit where it is due, I shall give you a brief glimpse into a conversation between me and my friend. Also, I obviously don't own the characters from BBC's "Sherlock."

me: Well then! I'll just need to come up with some characters and then dump them into fantastical situation. XD

Staples: Yes! Here, take a professor, two gerbils with wings, a girl named Penelope who is perfectly ordinary, and a guy on a bike. How's that?

me: Okay...

Once upon a time, there was a professor, two gerbils with wings, a girl named Penelope who is perfectly ordinary, and a guy on a bike.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

First let me introduce you to the professor, whose name is Professor O'Connery. Now, Prof Con (as he likes to be called) is a daytime chemist at St. Bart's and a nighttime heavy metal rocker who supplies his cousin (who works at Baskerville) with various animals. He gets the materials to his cousin through the guy on the bike, whom I shall call Timothy MacCloud. Or Tim.

Anyway, one day, the cousin, Dr. Timmy Tommy Dastardly Jones VI (Prof Con's aunt and uncle where STRANGE people), whom I shall henceforth refer to in an abbreviated fashion as TTDJ, asked for a pair of pigeon roadkill. So Prof Con got him some. (TTDJ was actually conducting a relatively normal experiment for once. He wanted to see how gerbils reacted to dead birds.) As Prof Con was traveling the British country roads for dead pigeons at 3:25 a.m. precisely, he was, as might be expected, listening to heavy metal. He continued to listen to heavy metal when he found the birds and put them in sterile bags. He placed the bags in front of his jacked-up stereos.

Later that day, Prof Con gave the birds to Tim, who promptly brought them to TTDJ. Even later that day, TTDJ turned on a CD that Prof Con gave him in the same room the experiment was being done in. However, when TTDJ was finished in the lab, he forgot to turn the music off…

In that dead of that night, an extra-loud blast came just as the gerbils were sniffing the dead pigeons. The next day, the gerbils had wings. It was a scientific breakthrough! And then, Penelope, a regular girl who liked cheese and hopscotch, got teleported into the lab after a teen blasting heavy metal passed her house. Being a normal 8-year old animal lover, she saw the poor winged gerbils, felt sorry for the poor dears, and let them out.

The gerbils appeared in the news every now and then. They were never physically caught, but they were occasionally caught on film. The last time the winged gerbils were seen was the night before Tim got contacted by a mysterious person, who wanted delivered, and I quote, "A mattress and a distraction, by two-thirty on the dot."

After the peculiar happenings on the day of the delivery, the winged gerbils were no longer considered newsworthy, as Sherlock Holmes was dead. The suicide of the fake genius who had been fooling the police for years far outweighed the importance of winged gerbils and teleportation caused by heavy metal music.

Now, you didn't hear this from me, but it is whispered that a certain genius found these two winged gerbils, named them John and Lestrade, and kept them for company as he waged a one-man war on the terrorist community made by his arch-nemesis. (A certain Jim.)

But that, my friends, is a story for another time.

Author's notes: You might remember Staples from "Mediae Telluris," which she co-wrote/is co-writing with me.

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