Disclaimer:I do not own Castle. All rights belong to ABC and Andrew Marlowe. I am not making any money off of this.

A Dark Hour

Chapter 1

Detective Kate Beckett felt an overwhelming mix of emotions as she stepped up to the podium in her dress uniform and began her speech. She was full of sorrow because her captain the man who had been like a father to her when her own father had been too lost in grief and drink to be there for her was dead. She was angry because he had betrayed her,but he had died making it right and she wasn't about to punish his family or undo all the good he had done by talking about the one mistake he had made, she would take Mongemory's secret to the grave. She was frustrated because once again she found herself surrounded by death and without a single lead. Once again the search for her mother's killer had just led to more death and no answers. She was depressed and angry with herself because she nearly had to face this latest tragedy in her life alone and it was only because the man who was with her today was the most forgiving person she had ever met that she wasn't.

It was all her fault too so some of the anger she felt was directed at herself. She had been so angry last week that when he had accused her of hiding in relationships with men she didn't love she didn't have the guts to tell him that not only was he right but the man she had been hiding with had called her on it two days before. Her mind briefly went back to that conversation and the pain she felt when Josh spoke.

"You don't love me." He had said with sadness in his eyes. "I can tell. I think I love you but it can't be a one way street or it will not work. You are just hiding with me and you need me to change who I am and not go off to help people any more. Maybe I could bring myself to do that for someone who could love me back but I think we both know that will never be you. The only person you are in love with is the man you spend most of your time talking about. You have been using me to hide from him and I don't know why. I only know I can't do this any more so goodby Kate." Then the door had closed behind him and she knew she should feel angry and depressed but instead she was just numb and shocked. She hadn't said anything and now that she was thinking about it she knew why,she had known he was right. Still she was too proud to admit it so when she had been called out on it two days later instead of admitting it to herself and talking to the man she was really in love with she had kicked him out of her life forever. Yet he had still showed up and saved her life and he was her by her side at the moment she needed him.

She had been unfair to him,she saw that now. She now knew there was no way he would leave her on his own and yet she hadn't pushed him away, instead she had spent more time than ever with him while at the same time dating someone else and making it clear that she would run if he ever told her how he felt. Not that he hadn't made it clear with his actions,everyone including her could see that but she was afraid that if she let him in she would be hurt,he would see who she really was and drop her. So she kept him on the outside but that had not been fair because she now saw that she had been accepting support from him while not giving him any real support from herself. She now saw that she had to make it right. There were no guarantees in life and she couldn't waste any more of hers or his with her indecision,she had to talk to him after the funeral and decide what they were going to do. She wasn't sure what she would choose but as she thought about the words of her captain she had a pretty good idea. He was right she was lucky to have found someone who would stand by her and never leave and she flashed him a sad smile at that moment,trying to let him know that she knew she was wrong when she kicked him out. She was scared but she had just about decided she was done letting fear run her life. The next thing she knew she felt a heavy weight slam into her side hard and she felt herself hit the grass.

"Castle,what the Hell?!" Beckett yelled at the man who's full body weight was on top of her,but he didn't respond. She dimly became aware that people were screaming just outside of her field of view which was mostly taken up by the form of Castle who was on top of her. She needed to know what was going on so she gathered all of her strength and pushed Castle off of her and onto his back,this finally got a reaction out of him he cried out in pain and Beckett looked down at him. Castle's eyes were clenched shut and a look of pure agony was plastered across his face but Beckett still was not sure why,that is when she looked down and saw it. Blood seeping out from Castle's lower back and onto the grass. He had bee shot, that had been the crack she had heard a split second before he hit her, it was a gunshot and Castle had taken the bullet for her.

"Call an ambulance,Castle's been shot!" She yelled out to Ryan who she had just seen out of the corner of her eye running with his service weapon drawn in the direction of Castle's family. Castle's family, Martha and Alexis. Alexis had just seen her father shot! Suddenly it all became too real for Beckett and she started to lose control,Alexis was even younger then she had been when she had lost her own mother and she had not had to watch it happen. Beckett knew that she couldn't be responsible for Alexis losing her father, she needed Castle to live so she pulled herself together and focused on making sure that happened. She reached behind Castle with her right hand and began feeling around, Castle winced in pain again but she didn't stop,finally she found the wound and began pressing on it as hard as she could.

"Castle,I need you to stay with me." Beckett pleaded looking down at him but his eyes had already started to glaze over and roll back in his head due to the pain and blood loss. "Hang in there!' Beckett almost yelled and that seemed to get his attention and with a great effort he opened his eyes.

"Kate,I love you." He said in a harsh whisper that sent a shock through Beckett's entire body. What did he only have the guts to say that now?! Beckett thought to herself angrily but before she could continue that line of thought he spoke again. "Take care of Alexis."

This snapped Beckett out of her thoughts and a single tear began running down her face. "I will not have to because you are going to be here" She said in a stern commanding tone. "You just need to hold on,your daughter needs you." However it was too late he had slipped away and passed out. He was still breathing but despite Beckett's best efforts she could not wake him up. She sat there on the ground looking down at Castle until she felt someone put a hand on her left shoulder and trying to make her let go,at first she tried to fight the unknown person off but then she heard a voice.

"Kate you need to move and let the paramedics get to work" The voice belonged to her best friend and she knew what she said made sense so she reluctantly stood up. She watched the paramedics apply first aid and lift Castle onto a gurney and push him into an ambulance. Beckett held back the tears but she did turn around and look at her best friend.

"I know,I know." Lanie said her eyes full of understanding and then she took hold of Beckett's left hand which was not covered in blood and began leading her towards where they had parked. "Come on lets go to the hospital,we will know more once we get there." Beckett was too numb to talk and all she could do was follow Lanie,she was completely overwhelmed.

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Everything was chaos when they got to the emergency room,it was filled not only with them and other people but the press hand gotten a hold of the news and were pushing their way in. When they got in Alexis' face and tried to get a statement from the highschool girl who was reeling from the day's events Esposito snapped and got into a shoving match with a reporter that could have ended up on the six o'clock news if it were not for Beckett's clear thinking, suddenly she was snapped out of her distance. Epsosito was still on her team and it was her job to keep her team out of trouble, this was something she could handle. Beckett stepped in between Epsosito and the reporter and while it took all of her effort and control she kept her voice calm.

"Listen how do you think it will make your station look when it comes out that you harassed a minor to get better ratings?" Beckett asked.

"The people have a right to know." the female reporter who was standing beside the camera man objected.

"This isn't about the people, it's about your ratings." Beckett replied fixing the reporter with an angry look. "You have no right to harass a minor and if you don't leave you will be facing a lawsuit from the family of Richard Castle,is that how you really want this to play out?!" She challenged.

The reporter seemed to consider this for a moment and then think better of her tactics but she was too proud to admit defeat. "We will be outside the hospital waiting for updates." She finally said and she turned and left with her camera man.

After this Beckett found a nurse and had everyone taken to a private waiting room for VIPs,she was grateful to have something productive to do while they all waited for an update on Castle's condition. After a few minutes in the private waiting room Esposito got a call that he left the room to take and when he came back five minutes later Beckett could tell it was about the case. She called Esposito and Ryan back to a corner of the waiting room to speak to them. They talked in hushed tones so as not to disturb Martha and Alexis who were sitting in chairs at the other end of the room holding hands.

"Was that about the case?" Beckett asked.

"Yeah it was." came Esposito's reply.

"Why the hell wasn't I called, I am lead detective?!" Beckett demanded angrily.

"They said they tried to get a hold of you but you didn't answer." Esposito answered calmly refusing to become upset with Beckett over how terse she had been. He knew she wasn't really angry at him.

This news shocked Beckett since she was sure her phone had not rung, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone to check for missed calls but found that the screen was cracked and broken. It didn't take a detective to figure out that it must have happened when Castle knocked her to the ground saving her life. She almost cried at this reminder of the day's events but she held back the tears,crying would not help anyone,good police work would and if there was one thing she knew it was good police work. "So please tell me we got the bastard." Beckett said when she finally spoke.

Esposito shook his head sadly. "Sorry all we have is a rifle without any prints or serial numbers on it. Our only lead is that it looks military issue. The shooter is in the wind."

Becket was too shocked to speak but Ryan spoke up,his voice bringing home the full frustration that he felt. "How could that happen with all those cops there?"

"Only one way that I can think of,the shooter must have been a pro. Most likely ex military special forces of some kind." Epsosito answered grimly.

"There has to be some way to trace him. Let's assume he is ex military and look for clues on the rifle besides prints and serial numbers. I want the lab to go over it with a fine tooth comb for anything that can tell us where it came from." Beckett said taking charge,she would not be defeated on this case.

"Right boss we will look into it,you should stay here." Esposito said. Beckett was about to object but then she remembered the promise she had made to Castle months ago and his last words to her,he had asked her to look after Alexis and while she wasn't sure what she could do for the girl she wasn't about to break her promise. She could trust Ryan and Esposito to look after the case for a few hours,still she couldn't bring her self to speak so all she did was nod sadly.

"Keep us updated." Ryan said as he and Esposito turned and left the waiting room. They had work to do.

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It was about an hour later when a doctor finally entered the waiting room. He was a tall man who stood just over six feet,he was overweight,had thick curly blond hair,and spoke with a British accent.

"Family of Richard Castle?" The doctor asked.

"That's us." Martha said standing up and walking toward the doctor. "I am Martha Rodgers his mother,this is Alexis Castle his daughter,and that is detective Beckett his partner from the 12th precinct." Martha said introducing everyone.

"I think I should speak to you privately, since this news is really only for the family." The doctor said unsure of himself.

"Anything you have to said to me you can say to these two, I will just have to explain it to them myself later so it's better if you just tell us all at once." Martha explained.

"Very well." the doctor said with a sigh. "I am Doctor Baker and I am in charge of Mister Castle's case. I am sorry I could not give you an update sooner but we needed to get him stable."

"How bad is it?" Alexis asked with her voice just above a whisper.

"It would be wrong for me to make light of how bad things are but you should know we believe he is out of the woods and he will live." This prompted a sigh of relief from everyone in the room. "Still he is in grave condition." Doctor Baker added. "He will need multiple surgeries over the next few days and you should be prepared to take care of him in the long term."

"What do you mean,what happened to him?" Beckett asked shocked.

"Please sit down and remember that the good news is that he made it, hang on to that." Doctor Baker said as he motioned for everyone to sit and they did so. He spoke gently but firmly. "The bullet shattered on the lower part of Mister Castle's spinal cord and we will not be able to tell the full extend of the damage until we finish all the surgeries and he wakes up and we are able to run some tests but you should prepare yourselves for the fact that in the best case he will have mobility issues for the rest of his life."

"And in the worst case" Martha asked as the colour drained from her face.

Doctor Baker then got a sad look in his eyes as he spoke. "In the worst case he will be unable to use his legs and be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life." The room fell silent for a moment and everyone had the same thoughts,they could not imagine Rick Castle not being able to run all over town and play laser tag,the thought of him in a wheelchair for the next forty or so years was just too much to bear. "I am so sorry and I wish I had better news and right now I need to get back to work but if you have any questions feel free to call me." Martha nodded and Doctor Baker then stood up and left the three women in the room in a state of complete and utter shock.

Beckett had to do something so she stood up and started pacing,she had gone back and forth across the room three and a half times when she turned around and came face to face with Alexis who's face was bright red.

"This is all your fault!" Alexis yelled,Beckett had never seen her like this before and didn't know how to react so she just stood there unable to look Alexis in the face. "That bullet was meant for you. If you had just told him you were not interested,Stopped him from following you,or just stopped digging into cases like this none of this would have happened! It's bad enough my mother doesn't want anything to do with me,but now I am going to lose my father and I will be alone!" Alexis screamed tears pouring down her face and still Beckett couldn't bring herself to say or do anything,she was frozen in place.

"Alexis!" Martha scolded,coming up behind her granddaughter but before she could say anything else Alexis stormed out of the waiting room.

Beckett then looked down at her gloved right hand and then remembered for the first time that she had not removed the glove that was covered with Richard Castle's blood,suddenly it all became too much for her. Beckett's legs gave out and she slumped against the wall and began to cry. Alexis was right she had destroyed a family and she didn't know what she could do to fix things. She wanted to run but she couldn't move so all she did was sit there with her head on her knees and cry. This was the worst she had felt since he mother had died and she couldn't see how it could get better and little did she know it was about to get worse.

Okay I know I should be working on some of the stories I have not update in over a year but this idea came to me in the shower and I had to get it down. I know there are a lot of season four AU out there so I am not sure anyone will like this one and I am not sure how good a job I did on it. I would just like to say that I am sorry for not updating in so long and I am grateful to anyone who is still reading my stuff. I feel I should explain. I have a metal condition that makes writing when I am off my meds very hard and for the past two years I have not been able to get my meds and I had a bit of a break down and wasn't able to write. That is the bad news,the good news is I am back on my meds so regular updates for this and other stories will be coming again. Sorry to keep you all waiting.

Remember that I rely on feedback from all of you to improve my writing so please leave a review and let me know if this story was any good and if you want to see it continue.

Thanks a bunch for reading,as always you people are the best.

Thanks again to Casketfan5 for beta help. You are the best.