So Obvious
He'd known it was wrong; known she was pregnant with another man's child, but that hadn't stopped him from caring. When she'd been captured by the dart, when he'd failed to save her, a black wave of grief and guilt had overcome him. What had made it worse was that everyone had been so understanding and forgiving. He'd expected recrimination and anger. Hell, he'd expected Ronon to beat him black and blue. And in some perverse way Evan Lorne had been looking forward to it. He didn't deserve forgiveness- he deserved to suffer as he was sure she was suffering. Teyla. His Teyla. Kidnapped and held by Michael for some unknown, twisted experiment. Evan felt physically sick at the thought of her in the wraith hybrid's hands.
"Unscheduled off world activation." The voice over the loudspeaker snapped him out of his reverie.
"It's Colonel Sheppard's IDC!" cried the technician overseeing gate room procedure.
"Open the iris." Sam Carter's clear voice rang through the gate room. Colonel John Sheppard exited the gate at a near run.
"It worked!" he exclaimed "Rodney, you're a genius!"
"How so this time?" asked McKay, genuinely confused. But Sheppard ignored him and turned to Sam
"We have to debrief right now." He told her and she was shaking her head before he finished the sentence.
"Not so fast," she told him "You're going to the infirmary straight away."
"No time!" he snapped.
"I'm sorry, John," she said "But you've been away for nearly two weeks. We just can't risk it." She nodded to Evan. "Major, please escort the colonel to the infirmary." She ordered and Evan fell into place behind his CO. With an impatient sigh, Sheppard set out for the infirmary at a near run. Evan kept up easily enough but wondered at the haste his CO was in.
Evan waited patiently enough through the seemingly endless medical tests until; at last, they had confirmed that Sheppard was who he said he was. However, as their Colonel began describing their respective fates in the other timeline, he began to feel more and more restless. He was filled with anger that they were forced to abandon Atlantis, that all those he knew and cared for were dead and, most of all, that Teyla too would die unless future events could be altered. When Colonel Carter asked who would investigate the address Sheppard had brought back with him, he volunteered immediately. From the slightly sympathetic look she gave him he could tell that she was worried about the burden of guilt he carried. She let him go, however, and for that he was grateful. He had to be doing something or he was going to go mad.
"We're too early," announced McKay "Michael hasn't brought her here yet." They stood in the empty building, staring at the consoles that the head scientist had just reactivated. The news of a hive ship arriving dragged them out of their disappointed reveries. Sheppard figured it out a fraction of a second before Evan.
"Daedalus, this is Sheppard." He snapped into his comm. "Do not fire on the hive ship, repeat; do not fire on the hive ship. Teyla Emmagen may be aboard." They waited in an agony of suspense. Finally Colonel Caldwell's voice came over the comm.
"Sheppard, this is Daedalus. The hive escaped into hyperspace. It wasn't destroyed but we can't follow it. I'm sorry." Evan felt a peculiar mixture of feelings. Gut- wrenching relief coupled with an equally wrenching despair.
"What's that?" Sheppard asked and Evan spun on his heels to look where his CO was pointing
"Uh oh," said McKay
"What" asked Sheppard flatly
"It's a countdown," began McKay but that was as far as he got before the world fell apart around them. When Evan woke he was in complete darkness. He went to move and couldn't completely bite back his groan of pain
"Hello?" came a voice and he recognised Rodney McKay's slightly panicked tones.
"It's me- Lorne" he said and he heard the scientists sigh of relief.
"Thank goodness," the other man said ", are you ok?"
"I think my leg's broken" he said. Something in the rubble surrounding him gave way and he almost choked on his muffled exclamation of agony. "It's definitely broken" he said when he was sure he could talk without betraying his pain. He had broken bones before, several times, and he recognised the feeling and the pain that accompanied it.
The following hours leading up to his rescue were an exercise in torture for Evan. He endured McKay's prattling and tried to calm the panicking scientist. He stoically ignored the pain from his leg. And he thought continuously of Teyla. He had failed her-again. He bore down on his pain; some small part of him relishing it, for it gave him something to focus on beside McKay and his guilt over Teyla. By the time the Daedalus beamed him out he was only semi-conscious. He had discovered that not only was his leg broken but he was reasonably sure he had cracked some ribs. The sting of a needle in the side of his neck was a welcome relief. He gave himself up to oblivion and, as always, his last thoughts were of Teyla. For some time, he didn't know how long, he lay in a drugged daze in the infirmary. His ribs were worse than he'd thought several cracked and two actually broken. His leg was in a plaster from hip to toe and there wasn't a muscle in his body that didn't ache. A commotion at the door had him turning and he knew that the sight he saw would be with him for the rest of his life.
She was walking through the door to the infirmary looking tired but otherwise unharmed. And in her arms was a baby. Her baby, he realised. The feeling of almost euphoric joy and relief at seeing her again evaporated, leaving him feeling cold and empty inside. She had another man's child in her arms. A man she had clearly loved or why else would she have become pregnant by him? He wondered for a second about her unknown lover. As always he felt jealousy flaring up in his gut. No doubt she spent most of her time with some tall blond god who-. He cut the thought off as soon as it began. He knew Teyla's lover would be perfect for her because she would accept nothing less. The baby wailed and Teyla veered off to sit on the bed beside Evan's.
"He's hungry," she told the team-mates who clustered around her concernedly. Evan smiled as they drew back as one man when she began to unbutton her shirt. Obviously the Athosians didn't feel particularly modest about openly feeding their children. Politely, he averted his eyes and was amused to see that the other members of SGA-1 were backing out of the infirmary. Teyla chuckled and he looked over at her, careful to keep his eyes on her face.
"My team-mates are unaccustomed to children," she said and he could hear the laughter in her voice. "You do not seem to mind she said and he could hear the unspoken question.
"My sister had a kid when I was home on some extended leave," he told her "I soon got used to the whole routine."
"You miss them," she said and he nodded, the sudden wave of homesickness surprising him.
"Would you like to hold him?" she asked softly.
"Isn't he…?" he gestured awkwardly at the feeding child.
"He is asleep," she whispered and before he could say anything she deposited the bundle in his arms and began to rebutton her shirt. Automatically his arms curled around the tiny life that slept so trustingly against him. And as Evan Lorne stared into the child's face he realised that, in the space of a few minutes, he had fallen for the child as absolutely as he had fallen for the mother.
"Major Lorne," said Teyla. She looked awkward standing next to his bed and, watching the baby and his bulky cast; he slid over slightly so she could sit next to him.
"Evan," she began again "I just wanted to say that I am sorry." That was the last thing he had expected and she seemed to take his astonished silence as an invitation to carry on.
"I should have known," she said "I should have realised that we were being deceived. I allowed us to walk into a trap and now you are injured because you were looking for me and-"
"Teyla," he cut her off, horrified at the burden of guilt she had place on herself. "If anyone deserves blame here, then it's me," he told her. "I let a Wraith dart take you. I didn't protect you when I should have. These injuries," he gestured down at himself "are nothing compared to what could have happened to you!" The baby in his arms stirred restlessly and, without really thinking about what he was doing, he cradled the little boy closer to his body. He glanced up and his heart lurched in his chest. She was crying. Shit.
"Teyla, don't cry. It's OK. I'm sorry," he shifted position once again to wrap a cautious arm around her trembling shoulders. Instead of pulling away, as he half expected her to, she leaned into the embrace. His ribs protested but he ignored them. For a second he caught a glimpse of what life might have been like for them. And the taste of regret was bitter on his tongue.
"Kanaan is dead," she whispered against his neck and he mentally cursed himself inventively. Why hadn't he thought to ask after the father of her child?
"I'm sorry," he whispered "Teyla, I'm so sorry." She laid her head against his chest and he could feel her silent, shuddering sobs. Holding her, Evan realised that, if this was all he could be to her- a friend- then he would be the best friend he could be. So he comforted the woman he loved as she wept out her grief for the father of her child.
It was some days after this when she visited him again. The baby she carried made a slight whimper and she laid him gently in Evan's arms. To his extreme surprise the little boy yawned and went to sleep.
"I think Torren likes you," breathed Teyla. He noted that she looked exhausted.
"Hey," he said gently "Why don't you take a bed and get some sleep, huh? She hesitated but he could see that the idea appealed to her. "Go on," he encouraged her "I've got Torren and I promise I'll wake you if he gets upset."
"Thank you, Evan," breathed the tawny skinned woman. She kicked her shoes off and curled up on the bed immediately beside his. Within seconds she was asleep.
"So here she is," came a voice from the doorway and Evan shushed his CO quickly.
"Baby's sleeping, sir," he explained hurriedly. John Sheppard looked vaguely amused at the sight of his 2IC playing nursemaid. Evan grinned back, aware of what he must look like wrapped in bandage and plaster with a tiny baby sleeping in his arms.
"Did you hear?" John asked smugly "She named the baby after me. Torren John Emmagen," Evan thought this over and decided he wasn't jealous. Teyla and John were friends but he was certain that was all.
"You must be honoured, sir," he said softly.
"Right now I'm more relieved," John said wryly. "I was a bit worried for a while there. Anyhow, how are you feeling, Lorne?"
"Good sir. I'll be ready for duty in a few weeks," he answered.
"Thank God," his CO breathed "I can't handle the paperwork on my own!" Evan chuckled and the baby stirred but didn't wake.
"Sorry," whispered John at the slightly accusing look his 2IC gave him. "I'll go," he decided "Don't want to wake the kid. Teyla's not exactly been sleeping well as it is. Dr Keller asked me to look out for her but it looks like you've beaten me to it."
It was some weeks later when Evan was finally out of his plaster cast. He gloried in the freedom it gave him and Dr. Keller was constantly dragging him back to the infirmary for lectures about over doing things. It was during one of these lectures that Teyla came in for a check- up with her baby. At the sight of her Evan completely lost track of what the irate doctor was saying. She looked radiant.
"Major Lorne," she greeted him with a huge smile on her face. She held out the baby and he looked down into a gummy grin.
"God," he breathed "Teyla, this kid gets bigger and more beautiful every time I see him!"
"He is a miracle," stated the Athosian woman before handing the baby over and turning to the other woman. For a second the doctor was captivated by the sight of an air force officer playing peek- a- boo with a little baby. "I am feeling greatly improved from the last time I was here," announced Teyla "Evan has been kind enough to watch Torren for me every now and then so I can sleep."
"I bet he has," said the doctor and Evan could feel himself reddening under her gaze.
"I'm used to kids," he defended himself awkwardly "and you keep telling me to keep it easy so it's no real hardship for me to watch Torren." The doctor made a noncommittal noise before taking the baby from him and laying him in the specially designed scanner. Evan smiled to himself. Rodney may act the part of a curmudgeon but had spent the best part of a week modifying Atlantis technology for Teyla's baby. Dr. Keller was frowning as she lifted Torren out of the scanner.
"I'd just like to run a few more tests," she said quietly and Evan felt the first stirring of fear.
"What is wrong?" asked Teyla but Keller was already walking away with Torren. She gave Evan a worried look as she passed him and he realised that she didn't want Teyla underfoot. He wrapped an arm around the Athosian woman. She was stiff against him for a moment then suddenly she sagged into his touch.
"I'm afraid," she whispered and he held her closer.
"It'll be OK," he whispered back, but Keller's expression as she returned made a mockery of his words. Without speaking she handed Torren back to Teyla and gestured for them all to sit down.
"Your baby has a rare form of fever, Teyla," she said gently "There are no obvious symptoms yet but I think it's best if he stays in the infirmary from now on."
"How dangerous is it?" asked Teyla quietly and Keller looked away before she answered.
"I'm sorry, Teyla," she said finally "Torren may die. There's no way for me to know how severe this episode could be. It's going to get a lot worse before I can know anything for sure."
For the next few weeks Evan was glad he was on restricted duty. He spent all his free time at the infirmary and even took to sleeping there as well. Keller never once questioned his attachment to Teyla and her child and for that he was grateful. While he was starting to believe he might have a chance with Teyla, he would never make a move under these circumstances. Torren grew more and more listless as the days went by. He developed a cough and began to refuse to feed. Throughout all of this Teyla became more and more fragile. Dark circles appeared beneath her eyes and she began to lose weight. Evan did the best he could to keep her going but he was painfully aware of how weak she was becoming. He made her eat and sleep whenever he could and held her as she cried over the still form of her baby who, by now, was hooked up to a multitude of medical devices.
Finally, after weeks of worry and sleepless nights they received some good news.
"I think he's getting better," Dr. Keller told them "In fact, I'm almost certain. He's breathing more easily and he's starting to show interest in things around him."
"He will recover?" asked Teyla "He will be as he was before?"
"Yes," nodded the doctor but that was as far as she got before Teyla was hugging her and crying at the same time. Over Teyla's shoulder Keller caught Evan's eye and he smiled his relief and gratitude at her. She felt a momentary flash of envy. Teyla was a lucky woman if she was going to be waking up to a smile like that for any amount of time. It had taken Keller all of about three minutes to realise what the score was between Atlantis's 2IC and her Athosian friend.
Teyla could barely think through her relief and happiness. Her child would recover. He would be strong and healthy and with Evan's help… She stopped, wondering where that thought had come from. She had been wrapped up in her own problems for the last few months but Evan had always been there for her, despite the fact that he was recovering from major injuries himself. Even now he stood behind her. Could that mean that he had feelings for her? She released Keller and turned to the man who had become such an important part of her life.
Evan could scarcely breathe as Teyla turned to him. There was a look in her eyes that made his heart begin to beat faster. Teyla reached for him but this time it was different. She wasn't looking for comfort; she was looking for something more. And it was a more that Evan was glad to give.
Dr. Keller watched them kiss with a tiny smile on her face. It was about time, she thought, that they both realised what had been so obvious to her for such a long time.