The two of you have been friends on and off throughout the years. You were best friends in elementary schools, attracted to the determination in the other, recognizing each other as kindred spirits. His father died, leaving him head of the company and he didn't know how to handle all the new responsibilities. He became depressed, and grew quieter and quieter. If you knew Atobe Keigo, this was a scary transformation. Ore-sama was gone, replaced by a pathetic shadow of his former glory. His brilliance dimmed; it was you, in fact, that recommended the tennis camp. The camp had everything Atobe Keigo needed: distance and tennis. He went away for the entire summer and played tennis to his heart's content. And you, you never knew it was possible to miss someone so badly it burned your tongue and stung your eyes. You eagerly anticipated his return, but when he did come back, he was different, changed. At first you thought it was good; he was back to being Ore-sama. But it was different, too, than before. Atobe Keigo discovered girls (and boys) that summer and this you discovered when you caught him hooking up with the head of his fanclub.
None of this shocks you, really. No, what shocks you most was the relationship between the two of you. You still call him your best friend, but in truth you have no idea where you stand with him. You can't help but remember how he clung to you after his father's funeral, how he sobbed, "It's all up to me, now, Yuushi. He's dead, Yuushi; he's dead."
You were responsible for him, something you hadn't minded. Actually, you kind of liked that you were the only one who could make him smile. And he had a beautiful smile, though a touch sad in a way that broke your heart. But now…now his smile is a bit colder, like splintered glass, though it is real for which you are thankful. He has transformed and you are at a loss. He goes without talking to you or seeing you for weeks a time. You would be able to bear it a little, you think, if only you weren't in love with him.
That is one reason you don't end your friendship. Because when you are together, everything seems shinier, more elegant and exciting than anything else you've ever experienced. Because he shows you the same corrupted world of finance and dealerships through a rose tinted glass. And after the first time he did it, the first time he smiled at you, you couldn't look away. You still can't disobey him, whether it's when he orders you to do the lineup for the next match or it's telling you not to be mad at him when he breaks off a lunch date with you. You can't say no to him, so you stay away. You haven't been to practice for the past two weeks because of it, because of his voice and what it does to your body.
But enough is enough. You're going to practice tomorrow. You are going to end this. You haven't talked to him since the start of winter vacation. It's now almost February. It's ridiculous. You decide to end it as a belated New Years resolution.
You almost jump as your cell phone vibrates, then stills. The light flashing shows that you have a new voice mail.
"Hello, Yuushi. It's me. I feel like we've been distant lately. So, come to practice early tomorrow as we can catch up. How does that sound, ahn?" There was a pause and your heart skips a beat. Damn that blasted voice, so unintentionally sensual, so melodic it washes over you like a lullaby. "Ah, and my mother would like to know if you'd want to sleep over, like old times."
You nod, knowing he can't see you. "Right, see you tomorrow." He hangs up and you slide to the floor, papers, most likely your homework, fluttering around you as your knees buckle and your legs give out.
Because just like that, with one phone call, he forced, no, not even forced; waltzed his way back in. Back into your life, your world. Scratch that; he is your world. And you can't let him go even if you tried; hell, you don't want to even try- because there just might a chance you would succeed, which will have confirmed your worst fears, that he doesn't depend on you like he used to, like you need him to and that you could live without him. If you could live without him that would mean you had made an error in judgment, all those years ago when you took one look at him and decided in that instant, he's mine. Because of course, this is about your pride, not your heart. If it were about your heart, then you would have no choice but admit you were heartbroken.
Because the next day, when you run with him, you explain away the tightness in your chest, blaming it on not going to practice rather than the real reason. Because you are Oshitari Yuushi, the tensai of Hyoutei, and you are not heartbroken. How can you be? Since the day you saw his charm point, your heart has never been yours.