Erik is hesitant in front of Charles's room door. He wants to do what he came there for, but he still has doubts. Yesterday he shared a chess game with his friend and he was convinced to tell him, but at the end Erik didn't find the enough strength to do it. But now, as he stands in front of the dark wooden door, he realizes that it might be the last chance he has.
Last night when he went to bed, he has decided to tell Charles in the morning before leaving to Cuba, but as he probably wouldn't be able to say it with words, he decided that it was best to show his friend what has been in his mind for weeks and more. He isn't sure where or when it began, but he's certain he never had these feelings before, and just for that reason he needs to do this.
He reassures himself silently before raising his trembling hand and putting it down again. He shuts his eyes hard and curses his stupidity. He's an adult man and he can do this. But he doesn't need to do anything, because suddenly the door opens in front of him and a worried Charles appears at the other side.
"Is there something troubling you, my friend? I can feel it," Charles asks looking at the startled man in front of him.
"Are you reading my mind?" Erik answers immediately.
"Of course not. You asked me not to and I promise I didn't do it and I won't. I respect your privacy. But I can feel you're worried about something, even if don't know the reason. You are almost projecting," Charles explains. "Come in please," he offers stepping aside and inviting Erik into his room.
The metal bender enters the room. He doesn't want to acknowledge his surroundings or check Charles's belongings, because he could forget his purpose in the process. He just wants to do what he needs to.
As soon as he hears the door closing behind him he turns around to look at Charles nervously, but showing confidence in every gesture.
"I want you to read my mind," Erik demands right away getting closer to the other man, but leaving enough space so they are not too uncomfortable.
Charles, confused, tries to study her friend's features to understand this sudden change of mind. "Why?" he asks.
"I'm going to count to three and then I'll do what I've been thinking of doing for weeks now. If you don't want it, then you'll have to stop me." He has prepared this sentence the night before at bed and he memorized it so his words didn't falter.
"Why don't you just tell me what happens? You're scaring me," the mind reader says disturbed.
"Oh Charles, you have nothing to be scared of, but I'm afraid I can't do this with just words. I can't find a way to express it, so I prefer you see it by yourself."
Charles nodes in understanding. "If that's what you want my friend, then I'll do it."
"Okay," Erik agrees and takes a deep breath before taking a small step towards Charles, at the same time he starts counting. "One."
The first number is said out loud and as soon as he pronounces it, Charles enters his mind. He is taken aback by all the feels inside Erik's mind. Thousands of different thoughts began flying inside his own mind with no clear direction. Erik gets closer to Charles, leaving just one step between them.
I can't do this. This is not okay. But I want it. He's my only friend. He believes there's good in me. But I'm a monster. I'm not different from Shaw. He can make me change. He makes me a better person. I want to fight for it, but I don't know if I can do it.
"Two," Erik says taking the last step that allows him to be just a couple of inches away from Charles. Erik doesn't leave Charles' eyes anytime and now he can feel his breathing against his skin. Charles can't hear Erik's spoken words; he can only feel every sense inside him being flooded by Erik's emotions.
Their eyes, focused on each other, make the moment more intense than it already is. Erik is lost in the deep blue ocean that are Charles' eyes, wishing silently he isn't making a mistake. They are just a few inches away from each other, but Erik knows it could be over before he can make the last move.
He's more than just a friend. He saved me in more ways a person can be saved. I trust him with my life. I can't stay near him without being nervous. I want to kiss him and feel his body pressed against mine. I want to tangle my fingers among his soft hair until we fall asleep. I need him by my side. I cannot do this without him. He's the rope to my kite. He's the good in me. I love him.
I love you.
Charles isn't sure if the last words were in his mind or has been said out loud, but he honestly doesn't care, because soon Erik pronounces the last number.
"Three." As soon as the words escape Erik's lips, the mind reader realizes that he hasn't stopped his friend. But why stopping him if he wants the same thing?
Erik leans forward slowly and presses his lips sweetly against Charles'. Charles can't believe this is actually happening. How that strong man can be kissing him the way Charles has dreamed so many nights? He doesn't know how to react. He is motionless with eyes still open in shock. Erik, noticing that Charles isn't responding, breaks the kiss and looks down at his surprised friend.
"I'm sorry," he offers to those deep blue eyes. "This was obviously a mistake. I just wanted you to know it before Cuba."
Erik... Charles whispers inside Erik's mind. "I'm the one who should be apologizing for not returning that lovely soft kiss. I was too shocked to move because I never thought you could feel the same," Charles confesses heartily.
"You…" Erik begins before his friend interrupts him.
"If you allow me, now I'll be the one to kiss you," Charles informs politely.
Erik doesn't have time to protest, because soon Charles lips are against his again, softly at first and then more demanding, like they needed each other to survive. Their lips move perfectly together, drinking in the sensations burning in their minds. Their thoughts and feelings mingling together and becoming one. Erik's hands come to cup Charles face, while the latter circles Erik's torso.
The feeling of each other's tongues dancing languidly takes them to a new world of pleasure and acceptance, and finally his minds begin screaming for more and more.
But, unfortunately, it's time to leave for Cuba. Both of them know it and both regret not doing this before. They break apart and look at each other's eyes with love on their gazes.
"I want this Charles. I want you," Erik says not leaving his partner's eyes.
"My friend, believe me I want this too, but I think today it's a decision time for you," Charles reminds him.
"Shaw…" Erik acknowledges in an instant.
"There's a thin line between just revenge and losing yourself in rage and despair. I know if we stay together you can choose not to pass that line, but it's your choice. I'm not going to stop you, but remember that you are not him. You're better than him," Charles takes a deep breath before continuing. "Whatever your choice is, part of me already belongs to you and that will never change. I love you." Erik smiles, soothed by Charles' last words.
"You are my balance Charles. When I'm with you I'm a better person. If I don't leave your side I know this will work," Erik assures, but not having enough faith in his words.
"I trust you are right," Charles honestly utters feeling Erik's doubts in his mind.
Silently he hopes that his friend can find the enough strength to come back to him.
A/N: What do you think?