Pairing: House/Wilson, Greg/James, Hilson…you get the picture…

Rating: M for suicide and slash.

Notes: Longest one shot I have ever written. Took me 9 hours total.

Summary: When House chooses to take his own life, Wilson follows suit. If they cant be together when they were alive, maybe they can in their after life… "Maybe not goodbye, Maybe starting new again."

Disclaimer: Not mine…Yadda yadda yadda and all that stuff. Honestly, If I did own them do you think there would be a season 6!

A/N: Slash. Suicide. Main Character death. And even with all that I still get a happy ending. Go me! Maybe I don't do well with bad endings. I get enough crying jags reading them. And I cried while writing this. Please review. They're love! Flames will be used to light the torches for the angry mob that will come to your house if you do! OOC!!!!!!!

Maybe Not Goodbye…

By: Arya8996 & Fate-Means-Screwed-On-Purpose

He never knew…

Anything.

His Past.

His Present.

His Future.

And he never will.

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This is it.

The end.

Somehow, it felt right.

Doing it this way…

Considering he was an addict, it was only fitting for his executioner to be another amber bottle…

But this time…

It would be way more than one pill…

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Dear James,

I know you hate me for doing this. I know that you will think that I was a selfish, cowardly, bastard.

But I can't do this anymore. It's not worth it. Everyday, it's harder to wake up. It's harder to leave the somewhat blissful place of sleep where I can be somewhat numb to the pain. It's not just my leg. It's everything. For the first time in my life, I feel alone, more than ever before.

Don't blame yourself. There was absolutely nothing you could do. This is my fault. I shouldn't have fooled everyone into thinking that I was in love with Cuddy, when I really wasn't. I was in love, still am, just not with her. I guess I should just say it.

It's you.

I'm in love with you.

Feel free to hate me. I'm an idiot. An idiot for ever, even for a fleeting second, hoping that you… could reciprocate… It was a stupid hope. You are my everything. You are my world. You are the only reason I kept living this long. I love you. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for every hurt I've caused you. Even this one…

I'm sorry for not being a good friend.

I'm sorry for everything and anything that I've done to cause you any pain, what-so-ever…

And goodbye.

Maybe you'll have better luck living your life without me…

I love you and…

Goodbye.

Love,

Greg.

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A teardrop fell from Wilson's cheek, swirling the letters in the word goodbye, slightly. He looked at his best friends lifeless body as sobs racked his own body and tears trailed down his cheeks. He took a pen from off the dresser and flipped Greg's note over.

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Dearest Gregory,

I'm the idiot. I'm your best friend. How could I not see that you were this depressed? I know you told me not to blame myself, but I can't not blame myself. You were wrong, though.

I'm in love with you.

Always have been.

This letter is somewhat stupid to be writing but I feel I have to. Without you, I have no reason to live. So I plan to join you. I need you. You are my everything. You are my world. And you're the only reason you beat me too it on this.

Maybe everyone will have better luck living his or her life without us.

All I know is my life isn't worth living without you. I cannot and will not live in a world where you don't exist. So I guess that's where this is going. All that's left is…

I love you and…

Maybe not goodbye….

Love,

James.

----

Wilson dropped the pen and watched some of his tears stain the sheet. He reached deep into his pocket and pulled out a lighter. He flicked his thumb to ignite it, and brought the flame to the bottom right corner of his and Greg's love/suicide letters. He watched the flames lick the paper, turning his words to smoke.

It was stupid, but somehow James knew Greg would get his reply. He closed his eyes just as the flames licked his fingers. It didn't hurt. He was numb. Numb to everything. Numb to the pain, numb to the heat, numb to everything except the pain in his chest at loosing the man he loved. The pain subsided a bit just at the thought that he would be with Greg soon.

Wilson bent down and tenderly removed the amber bottle from his best friend's still warm fingers. Tears still blurred his vision. But he could make out the word Betaxolol. That was a Beta Blocker. A medication for lowering heart rate and blood pressure. All James had to do was take four pills and it was over. James opened the bottle and spilled five pills into his hand. The faster, the better, he thought. James closed his fingers over the pills and brought his hand up to his mouth. He tilted his head back and dropped the pills into his mouth and dry swallowed them. As he felt them go down his throat, he smiled.

James figured he had about 6 minutes before they kicked in. He screwed the cap on the bottle and put it on the nightstand. Then, he looked over toward Greg. He was lying in his bed, having the appearance of sleeping. The covers and duvet pulled over him, his head on the pillow; he laid flat on his back with a blissful smile on his face. James had to smile. At least, wherever Greg was, he wasn't in pain.

He walked over toward Greg and slipped under the covers. His arm brushed Greg's arm. His body was still warm and soft, stating that it had been under an hour ago Greg had done his lethal deed. James knew that what he was doing was stupid, and idiotic, and pathetic…but he didn't care. He wormed his body up against Greg's. He wrapped his arms around his friend's waist and threw a leg over both of Greg's. Gently, he laid his head on Greg's chest, snuggling against him, greedy for the now only temporary warmth. He pressed his forehead against the crook of Greg's neck and pulled the duvet back over them both. Content with how he was going to die, in the arms of the one person he loved more than anyone in the…universe, his life, ever, James sighed and let the cold seep into his bones and still his heart, pulling him into eternal slumber.

---

Slowly, James started to regain his senses. Standing he looked around. What had happened? Wasn't he supposed to be dead? He felt warm grass under his feet and sun on his skin, he smelled flowers and a freshness that reminded him of the scent that clung to the air just after it rained, he saw a big beautiful meadow. Fresh, soft, warm grass under his feet. A bright light blue cloudless sky overhead. The sun shining brightly in the center of the sky. A warm breeze fluttering threw his hair. He could hear a small stream to his left, and when he turned, saw it. Along the banks of clear ice blue water, the color reminded him of Greg's eyes, were wild flowers of every size, color, and shape. In other words, this place was beautiful.

"Where am I? I'm supposed to be dead…?" he breathed out and then jumped, startled, that he could actually speak.

He closed his eyes, trying to figure out what was going on. This place felt like it was pulled right out of some fairy tale. Places like these don't really exist in real life, do they? James walked over to the creek and jumped back in surprise at his reflection. Timidly, he approached the stream again and stared awestruck at his reflection.

There, staring back at him, was…himself. His twenty something year old self. The stress line completely gone from his face. His high cheek bones just touched with a hint of a rosy blush. His complexion pale and hair slightly fairer and shorter than before. Wow.

"What the fuck?! I'm confused. I'm supposed to be dead…" he muttered to himself as he stared at his reflection. God, was he confused.

"No. Your not supposed to be dead, I am." said a very familiar voice behind him.

That was the voice of someone he had thought to be gone forever. Someone who he thought he would never hear or see again. His voice was a little different. Slightly lighter and a bit higher, but still his, nonetheless. James jumped at the sound of his voice and turned all too quickly on his heels, only to stop dead in his tracks.

There stood Gregory House, only… thirty years younger. He looked to be about James' age. His hair a dark fair raven colored natural black. All the wrinkles and lines from his face gone. He looked slightly paler and a bit taller, although that just might be from his lack of a limp, his ice blue eyes a bit more hypnotizing and much happier. James couldn't help but stare.

"Greg." he whispered in astonishment. Greg smiled morbidly and stared at him in what could only be described as longing, admiration, adoration, and love. James took a couple step toward him as if he were drawn to him. James stopped in front of him and gave him the same look. Greg smiled and took a step forward. Standing in front of James, Greg tilted his head up at him.

"You're not supposed to be here." he whispered softly.

James looked at him, locking his brown eyes with Greg's ice blue ones. "I want to be here" replied James softly.

"Why?" questioned Greg.

"Did you… did you see what happened…did you get my…?" James stammered questioning.

"Yeah, I saw." Greg breathed, his lips only inches away from James'. James closed his eyes and inhaled enjoying being able to breathe in Greg's smell again.

"And I got your letter." whispered Greg, he couldn't help the goofy smile that spread over his lips.

"I got yours." James choked out.

James let the same kind of smile spread across his lips. "I love you, Greg." whispered James timidly.

If Greg looked happy before he definitely did now. The look he got on his face when James said that was priceless. Before James could figure out what he was doing, Greg pressed his lips to James'. James gasped and leaned into him, wrapping his arms around Greg's neck, he kissed him with a passion and love he didn't even know he processed. Greg wound his arms around James' waist and smiled into the kiss, perfectly happy. Happier then he had been in a very long time.

When they broke they were both smiling and laughing breathlessly. "I really should have done that at least ten years ago." whispered Greg.

"You think?" laughed James resting his head on Greg chest and slightly nuzzling his neck.

Greg smiled, running his fingers through his new lover's hair. "This makes us an 'us', right?" whisper James.

"Definitely." they both agreed.

Greg told him to let go for a second and James did so without question. Greg sank to the ground and laid on his back, at the same time pulling James with him. James laid basically on top of his head resting on his chest and nuzzling his neck, and one leg across both of Greg's.

"You were right." whispered Greg as he ran his fingers through James' .

"'bout what?" question James sleepily.

"Maybe Not Goodbye…Maybe…starting new again…" replied the raven haired 20 year old. James lifted his head just enough to get a look at Greg.

The brunet nodded once. "Yeah, starting new again." agreed James sleepily.

"If I fall asleep will you still be here when I wake up?" questioned the brunet nervously.

Greg simply smiled softly at his lover. "Always, Love, Always." he whispered tenderly.

James couldn't help but smile at what Greg had called him and laid his head back down on Greg's chest, snuggling even closer to him, still greedy for the warmth. They both drifted into a dreamless sleep. And both were much more than happy. Some may say that this was a very sad ending but both doctors would disagree. This was a perfect ending. Their ending. Because they were both right where they belonged. In each other's arms…

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The End

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Done. You like? Please review. They make me happy.