Title: Secret Stardust
Rating: R
Theme: Crack
Pairings/Characters: Cloud Strife and Dart Feld
Spoilers/Warnings: Uhhh… everything just to be safe. If you haven't played both of the games all the way through… then you probably will get quite a few things spoiled here. P.S. Probably will be breaking all the barriers of sanity and/or virginity. BE WARNED. xD
Time Period: N/A
Summary: When two women meet, their passions uniting in eternal friendship, the men of their hearts will collide...and create... the ultimate crack series of all time. Co-authored by Vix3.16!
Word Count: 4,846
Dedication: To all the fans of FFVII and LoD who always wanted to see a crossover! This might not be what you had in mind, but too bad! We want it so EAT IT!!!
Disclaimer: Neither of us (PorcupineCuty or Vix3.16) own the rights to these games… but that never stopped us before! 8D
Rain's A/N: Hello all! I am one of the writer's for this… interesting fic. Vix and I decided to collaborate together to write something about two games we are absolutely in LOVE with! Final Fantasy VII and Legend of Dragoon! I know! Awesome, right? I know she's been wanting to do this for some time now and so when she mentioned it to me, well, how could I refuse? XD I just love the boys so much! And to finally write not only a crossover with FFVII and LoD fic but a LoD fi in general was exciting to me since there are hardly ANY out there. I plan to work really hard on this project (despite it being crack) and to show these characters in a brand new light. Sure, there will be moments of utter nonsense, but I promise to you, as It progresses, there will be so much more. :Smiles: I hope you all enjoy the introduction of this brand new series! Enjoy the randomness and the bleeding of your brain! Rain out! :Poofs:
Vix's A/N: And I'm the second writer of this fic! Nice to meetcha! As Rain said, I'd been wanting to break into this crossover field for a very, very long time now. But every occasion I had to write a fic here or there about the interactions you'll see plenty more of in this series (specifically between Cloud and Dart), the more back story you'll get to how they met as Rain and I got together years back and this four-piece friendship developed. I hope that with this (currently) cracky story, the details will all be filled in, so then when you start to see how the two's friendship develops, you'll be able to better understand the fics that I'll write about them in addition to this one. These two men are very dear to both Rain's and my heart, and I hope you can enjoy the crack and the later serious parts that'll develop over time! Thank you so much for reading! Ta-ta~!
Chapter One: Magical Bunny Abduction
Vix: So uhh… where do we start?
Rain (PorcupineCuty): Um… magical bunnies from Mule Land?
Vix: Well how the heck are they gonna bring Cloud and Dart here?!
Rain: That's easy! You pull on their cotton tail and a "Cloud" of smoke will appear with a "Dart" flying overhead and crashing into the wall! :Grins:
Vix: :Stares: ...actually. Why the heck not?! We have author magic! :Smirks: Let's do it! :Summons ze bunnies!:
Rain: BUNNY!!! :Chases after them going "Squee": COME TO RAIN AND BE MY CHEW TOY!!!
Vix: NO RAIN! :Grabs her!: We need them to fetch the sexies! :Slaps!: Do not interrupt their mission! Now, we must choose a destination for ze bunnies to go off to with the sexies! 8D Quick, Rain! Pick a place!
Rain: PLUTO!
Vix: ...someplace closer! XD
Rain: My pants!
Vix: :Pauses and thinks about that one, making a few calculations on her fingers but then slaps herself: NO! DX THEY NEED ROOM TO BREATHE! And... other stuff. :Shifty eyes:
Rain: :Sighs: Fine. If you insist. :Inhales: I SAY THEY SHOULD BE AT SOME RANDOM HOTEL AT SOME RANDOM HOUR OF THE NIGHT ROLE-PLAYING AND PLAYING STRIP POKER!!! Either that or some green place. Like a forest! Dart seems to like those. :Winks to the reader:
Vix: :Thinks: We'll save the hotel for LATER. So random forest it is! 8D
Magical Bunnies from Mule Land: :Nose twitch, sniffle the air, hop off at the speed of light leaving trails of rainbow sparkles behind them as they rush off to fetch the test subjec—UH I MEAN, boys:
Rain: Sweet! Go, little bunny rabbit! Bring boys to us so we can have lots of killing time! Or is it happy? I forget which! XP
Vix: No killing them yet! Unless it's of embarrassment. :Smirks: And they're not coming to US, Rain. They need… SPECIAL ALONE TIME. 8D
Rain: :Mumbles: Killjoy. :Ahem: Anywho! I'd say it's about time for us to take our leave for the time being! The boys will show up any moment and I rather NOT explain how we got them here in the first place. :Glances to the side, nervously:
Vix: Yeah no kidding. :Imitates her, checking the other side: So uh, let's skedaddle! :'D :Grabs spying equipment and runs!:
Rain: Yea—HEY! Wait for me!!! :Poofles:
At a random forest in the middle of nowhere with no sign of buildings or people at all.
Dart: :Falls out of sky:
Cloud: :Randomly looking about: … :Gets trampled on:
Dart: Oof! Ugh… where the heck am I? And what did I land on?! :Looks down and blinks at the sight of blonde hair spikier than his: …whoops! :Laughs nervously and rolls off the person quickly: Hey, uh, sorry bud. Didn't mean to kinda fall out of nowhere on yah. :Laughs a bit sheepishly:
Cloud: :Face flat on the ground, muffled words escaping his lips: Rits rolight. :Lifts dirt-covered face: I still have the feeling of my left arm. :Slight glare:
Dart: :Blinks and grins casually: I'm sorry, man. Really am. Who the heck knew rainbow bunny-rabbits were so violent in their drop-offs? But here! Let me help yah! :Steps forward and brushes the other blonde off: So what're you doing in the middle of nowhere anyway?
Cloud: :Continues to brush himself off: …besides being pummeled to the ground? I honestly have no clue. :Mutters something about crazy rabbits:
Dart: :Grins: Now I've got to ask—so. Do you come here often? :Places a hand on his hip, looking over the blonde before pointing at his face: You missed a spot. :Makes a circular motion with his hand that covers his entire face: Theeeeerrrrrreeeeee.
Cloud: Thanks for informing me. :Grabs a piece of Dart's clothing and wipes his face with it: There. I'm clean. :Begins to walk off: Now, I will choose to ignore your previous question and take my leave.
Vix: :Off in Author Land where neither of them can hear them: Dude. :Whispers to Rain: I wonder WHAT piece of Dart's clothing he used. XD
Dart: Aww come on! :Trots after him: Where are you gonna go anyway? There's nothing here. Just TREES. :Nods knowingly: I know. The view from where the bunnies flew me over showed nothing but trees and trees for miles. Though there is a lake in the opposite direction! :Grabs the blonde's arm:
Rain: :Playing with rocks made out of tulips in Author Land: I'd say it's along the lines of between the legs. :Snickers:
Cloud: :Involuntarily stops walking: … :Slowly glances over to the other… being: You go to the lake. I'm going this way. :Shakes himself free, wondering if the other… man took the hint or not:
Vix: Well then that makes it even MORE insulting that the bastard hesitated at calling Dart a man! Dx
Dart: :Blinks and stares at the guy as he walks off before shrugging and starting to follow him at a distance: Suit yourself! But hey! You owe me for what you did to my shirt, Ash Ketchum!
Vix: Gosh darn. Dx I knew Cloud was too much of a sap to go for the goods! XP …and Pokemon references? o.o;; I didn't know Dart watched Pokemon! O:
Rain: :Blinks: I didn't know they even AIRED Pokemon in Dart's world. :Thinking pose: There is much I do not know about this man… I must keep an eye out for him. :Snickers:
Cloud: I guess not… :Sighs then randomly turns to face him: …who's a what? Perhaps you should go lie down somewhere and NOT follow me. :Nods slightly:
Rain: And Cloud has no idea what Pokemon is, apparently. :Eye twitches: And his attitude is getting on my nerves….
Dart: :Rolls eyes and catches up to the other blonde: Not used to the company, I'm assuming? :Smiles good-naturedly: I just figured since you were out in the middle of nowhere for no reason, you've at least gotta know where you're going. Cause, uh, I don't know when those rabbits are coming back. :Laughs:
Cloud: Hopefully soon. There's an annoying buzzing in my ear and it won't go away. :Stops abruptly: My sense of direction is terrible. Perhaps you'd like to lead the way. :Stares at him expressionless:
Dart: Nah! I insist! :Claps him on the back with one hand, wrapping the arm around his shoulders: Keep doing what you're doing. You won't even notice me here! :Grins:
Cloud: No. Really. :Removes his arm from his shoulder: You go on ahead. I'll be right behind you.
Dart: :Smiles deviously and stares at the other man silently:
Cloud: :Inches away slowly: …do I still have dirt on my face or…? :Awkward feelings arising: What's your problem?
Dart: You know… most likely… you're my only way out of here…. :Smirks:
Cloud: … :Takes a giant step away from the dirty-blonde: …I neither have nor want anything to do with you. And after hearing THAT, I'll be sure to keep it that way.
Dart: Well, I crash landed into you. :Gestures idly to the other blonde: The bunnies have foretold our meeting, or they just like plummeting random blondes into the middle of nowhere. Whatever the reason, you're stuck with me, because I'm not going to be stuck here alone. Got it, blondie?
Cloud: :Tempted to make a run for it:
Dart: :Rushes at the other man and grabs his arm: So! Lead the way, bud? :Grins:
Cloud: :Sighs: I guess I have no choice… :Randomly pokes the other's belly and makes a run for it:
Dart: Ack! :Bolts after him but is having trouble keeping up: Hey! If you're actually helping out SLOW DOWN! What are you trying to do, lose me?!
Cloud: :Runs past tree after tree, zigzagging to and fro, leaves falling behind him, yelling to the other… person: No. I'm trying to see if you're in good shape. :Falls silent and disappears behind a tree trunk:
Dart: :Rolls eyes and sighs, shouting: Riiiiight! Sure you are! :Scowls and tries his best to keep up with the other guy, catching only a few sights of him here and there but eventually losing sight of him completely: Shoot. :Slows to a walk and looks around, scratching his head and walking after where he last saw the blonde: You do know it's not nice to do this to poor fellows that have no clue where they are, right?
Cloud: :Somewhere in the distance: One nuisance down. Now… to get out of here. :Continues walking for about an hour:
One hour later….
Cloud: Can't believe he was right… there's no end to this.
Dart: :Sitting up in a nearby tree: Told yah! Doesn't help that you were going in circles though. :Quit chasing after him about 55 minutes ago: Good sense of direction. :Snickers:
Cloud: :Shoots a glare up at said… thing: Don't. Talk. To. Me. :Turns and begins trotting off, beginning to talk to himself: Why is it, no matter where I go, there's always someone who ends up following me? :Sighs: Somehow… I don't think this Enemy Away Materia is working….
Dart: :Jumps out of the tree and strolls after him, casually whittling a stick with a sharp rock he found for lack of something more interesting to do: Well that might explain the lack of rabbits around here. No squirrels either. :Sighs: And I'm getting hungry. :Sad look on his face:
Cloud: :Tosses the Materia into a bush: It wasn't working any- :Interrupted by a bizarre growl: …was that… your stomach? :Quirks a brow:
Dart: :Frowns and looks down at his stomach, rubbing it a little sadly: Hey, I told you I was hungry. :Glares at him: But your stupid Matter-Uh has probably been keeping all the food away!
Cloud: Materia. And it normally just keeps harmful creatures away but considering you're still here, that's not the case. :Returned glare: If anything, you're the one who's scaring the "food" away.
Dart: :Raises eyebrows and blinks, pointing to himself: Me? What are you kidding? I'll have you know that I happen to be quite good at hunting, trapping and fishing! I've lived most my life in the wilderness. But you? :Looks the man over: You definitely don't seem like the "out in the wild" type.
Cloud: I'm more of the "Avoid Strangers So I Can Live A Peaceful Life In Some Rural Area" type. Unfortunately, fate has a different view of things. However… :Narrows his eyes, somewhat disgusted with how the other seems to be looking down on him: …that doesn't mean I can't hold my own in the wild.
Dart: Well you are out in the middle of the Never-Ending Hell of Trees so I don't doubt that last bit. :Grins crookedly: But man, sounds like tough luck on your part then. Is that why you came out here and got yourself lost?
Cloud: …you have some memory loss issues, don't you? I told you those rabbits abducted me when I was in the middle of cleaning Fenrir and brought me here to this… :Glances around a bit before hanging his head: …vast ocean of trees.
Dart: :Scratches his head and shrugs: Sure, whatever you say you did is what you did. But hey. :Pats the other blonde's shoulder lightly: Relax, bud. You and I are gonna get out of here somehow. So! Which way, Mr. Directions?
Cloud: :Tempted to shove a branch down the other's throat but decides he wouldn't want to feel regret for killing an innocent moronic idiot: Does it matter? :Chooses to go in the direction he was facing:
Dart: :Shrugs and follows along, whistling casually: So. Nice weather we're having, huh?
Cloud: Just because I'm allowing you to come with me, doesn't mean you should talk. :Makes a motion indicating a migraine:
Dart: Geez fine. Grouuuuuchyyyyy. Maybe you're the one that needs food more than me.
Cloud: I'm not hungry. I just want quiet… :Another bizarre growl: …and will you control your bowel movements?
Dart: Oh yeah. We definitely need to find you something to eat. And hey! My bowels are just fine! :Glares: Besides, that was your stomach! So don't go blaming it on me!
Cloud: Why would I blame it on you if it was MY stomach? After all, you're the one complaining that you're hungry! :Verge of ditching the… guy again:
Dart: Well clearly you're insecure about yourself! Why ELSE would you refuse company in a lonely desolate— :Growl interrupts again: —place, and how is that NOT your stomach?!
Cloud: I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you're pestering me. :Growls becoming louder: No way my stomach can growl like… that… :Sudden realization: …why me?
Dart: :Oblivious: Why you what? :Pauses and then suddenly stops in his tracks: …shit. :Gestures to the other male frantically, whispering: Come, here, come, here! :Tiptoes behind a tree and reaches out to pull the other blonde there with him:
Suddenly a large creature makes its way through the trees not far from where the two stood moments ago. With eight large tentacles, a deep green color, and a body covered with moss, flowers and various other plants… a Giant Mountain Octopus appears to be searching for the two.
Dart: :Peeks out around the side of the tree before pulling back slowly and turning to face the blonde: …and you threw away that stupid crystal ball WHY?! :Glares venomously at him:
Cloud: It's called Materia. :Right eye begins to twitch: And the bloody thing wasn't working. No point in carrying a useless Materia if all it's going to do is weigh me down. Besides, you were complaining about not having food. I would have done anything to shut you up! :Wonders if it'd really be bad to commence in a violent act against the… other:
Vix: Dude! :Twitches herself: Cloud is starting to really PISS. ME. OFF. CALL DART BY HUMANE TERMS YOU ASSWIPE! :Shakes fist!: This is why now you have to face off against Foo-Foo. -3- Dumbass.
Dart: The stupid thing probably weighs about as much as a nut! :Exasperated: And if that thing eats us, I am so going to kill you.
Rain: …Foo-Foo? That's what you named it? Seriously?
Cloud: You're a nut! Now shut up before it hears you! :Grumbles: Obnoxious, no good, whiny little kid!
Vix: Well his full name is Frauleaine Osteobane Fornadae Omega. But "Foo-Foo" is easier to say, spell and remember. O_o
Dart: Hey! Look who's talking, Mr. I-Threw-Away-The-Only-Thing-That-Can-Protect-Me-Because-It-Was-TOO-HEAVY-TO-CARRY-SOMETHING-THE-SIZE-OF-A-WALNUT!
Giant Mountain Octopus, aka "Foo-Foo": :Makes a curious growling, gurgling noise and peeks around the tree, one of its huge tentacles hovering over both their heads:
Rain: Riiiight… Remind me to never ask you to name my pets ever again.
Cloud: YOU ARE THE EPITOME OF STUPIDITY! IT WAS A FIGURE OF SPEECH!!! :Strange whooshing sound passes by them: …I sense a mysterious aura about. Hey, you. :Points to him: Check if that thing's still around.
Dart: There is NO WAY I am going to— :Turns around to glare at the blonde and spots the large face of the Mountain Octopus just behind him: … :Stops and sighs as though giving in and turns around: Fine… I'll go check. :Peeks around the tree, sees the rest of the beast but notices that it hasn't noticed him: … :Makes a break for it and dashes away from the tree, completely leaving him behind:
Giant Mountain Octopus: :Makes a curious grumbling noise and shifts closer to look over Cloud's head to where Dart had gone but can't see the other man, so turns its attention to Cloud, reaching out a tentacle to poke his leg:
Cloud: ... :Slowly turns to see big ugly Giant Mountain Octopus staring down at him: ... :Feels it touch his leg: ... :Quickly gets up and runs away from monster: I'm going to kill that bastard whenever I get my hands on him!!!
Dart: And you probably will! :Shouting back over his shoulder: Except that it would take too long and you'd be EATEN by the time you finished! :Keeps running!:
Giant Mountain Octopus: :Makes a sad noise and moves around the tree and after them, going a lot faster than one would expect it to:
Cloud: :Catches up to the... cowardly man: Which is why I'm saving your death for later! :Glances behind him and picks up his pace when he sees the octopus right at their tails: I should have stabbed you when you first began following me! :Starting to leave the... dirty-blonde behind:
Dart: Hey! How was I supposed to know I'd end up with an angsty, weak-ass, animal and people hating moron! Blame the rabbits, man! Not me! I didn't ask to be dropped here! :Starts running faster as he sees the other man doing so:
Giant Mountain Octopus: :Making happy, attention-seeking gurgling cries as it chases after them in a puppy-like manner:
Cloud: You're the dumbass who wanted to follow ME, remember!? And for what? To be complaining throughout the entire thing with, "I'm hungry." You're still hungry!? Go eat that thing! :Steps in front of the other... man to shove him directly at the Giant Mountain Octopus: Enjoy! :Dodges low branches from the trees:
Dart: :Tries to move out of the way of the blonde's shove but fails miserably and ends up falling flat on his butt: I WAS TRYING TO MAKE CONVERSATION YOU ANTISOCIAL! :Scrambles to his feet and twists and turns between narrow trees to avoid the tentacles of the Mountain Octopus, eventually scooping up a clump of moss and dirt and chucking it at the back of the blonde's head:
Giant Mountain Octopus: :Gets stuck suddenly, unable to pass through the thicker part of the forest for all the trees, but keeps reaching out longingly after the two men with its tentacles:
Cloud: :Gets whacked on the back of head: Second time I ended up with dirt in my hair... :Glares over his shoulder: In case you haven't noticed, food is not EXACTLY my topic of choice! :Noticed octopus reaching out: And if you don't duck, that thing is going to squeeze you to death, you ingrate!
Dart: Well then take the initiative for once! :Ducks and rolls out of the way, moving closer to the other man and actually more focused on proving his point than on the giant monster reaching out to squeeze him to death: Start a conversation instead of complaining yourself all the time about how you can't stand the topic of conversation! :Sighs with exasperation and lunges out of the way of another grab from the Mountain Octopus, finally reaching the blonde:
Cloud: If it'll get you to shut up, fine! :Jumps over a fallen tree, flipping in mid-air to avoid a tentacle, before landing gracefully onto the ground: Where are you from? :Glances out of the corner of his eye to him, awaiting his answer:
Dart: :Stares: ...what are you, a ballerina? :Notices another tentacle coming his way and runs up a tree before vaulting off it onto another and landing on a thick branch, running along it and further away from the Mountain Octopus' tentacles: I'm from Neet originally, but I grew up in Seles. Not that I'm sure it counts for anything! :Turns around and suddenly yells at the Mountain Octopus after side-stepping a slap from its tentacles: STOP IT! :Sighs irately and turns back to the other blonde: Yourself?
Cloud: :Another flip into the air to avoid a swinging tentacle: Call me what you want but I'd rather not get turned into squash greens. :Tumbles to the ground after nearly getting hit but shrugs it off: "Neet?" With a name like that, it's no wonder you are the way you are. :Shakes his head: I'm from Nibelheim. A place in the middle of nowhere. :Shrugs: I reside in Midgar now... or rather Edge... they keep changing the name so let's leave it as a very noisy city.
Dart: :Jumps down from the branch of the tree and scowls at the blonde: Looks who's talking. "Nibelheim"? At least my town's name is easy to spell!
Giant Mountain Octopus: :Seems to get tired of the two men's good evasive techniques and suddenly draws back its tentacles, squeezing through the narrow space in the trees before lunging at them with something of a bounce to its movements:
Dart: Ahh shoot! :Turns and runs: Why did it have to choose NOW to remember it has no bones in its body?!
Cloud: Ask it. I'm sure it'll be more than happy to respond. :Octopus tentacle slams down behind his heels which the impact sends him flying and crashing to the ground: I guess he didn't like my suggestion. :Gets up: This... is... irritating!
Dart: :Vaults over another tentacle and runs to the other blonde's side: Well we could always do what they try in the cartoons! Split up, run around like lunatics, and hope it gets tangled up in itself. Or! :Leaps and rolls over a boulder while he keeps running: We can finally head for that lake! Maybe all the little friendly creatures are in there if this big sucker's out here where it's not supposed to be? :Shouts over his shoulder: STOP DEFYING THE LAWS OF MOTHER NATURE! GO BACK HOME TO WHERE YOU BELONG!
Cloud: …or maybe there are even deadlier creatures in that damn lake of yours! :Running beside the other… person: And stop talking to it as if it can understand you! You're probably making things worse! :Pushes him aside as a tentacle glides right in between them: Definitely making things worse!!!
Dart: Well I needed someone to be social with! :Recovers his pace easily even after the shove and growls lightly: If you only had talked to me and agreed hours ago to lead me out of here, then we wouldn't have been hanging around waiting for Moldy Calamari over there to come by and try to play dolly with us!! :Glares:
Cloud: Don't you start that again! If I'd known you'd be this annoying, I would have lead you to drown in that lake! :Glares back at him: Again: Why follow me in the first place!? There was no reason! :Groans: Forget it! Knowing you, you'd probably give me some half-assed answer, anyway.
Dart: Hey, none of my answers were half-assed! You're more half-assed as a human being than all my answers put together! And I already told you, I don't know where the heck I am! I thought you did! And then you come out of the blue and tell me YOU were just a victim of the magical rainbow-crapping bunnies as well. Soa! Of all the people I had to end up with, it had to be a man with no logic, social skills, or problem solving techniques! Watch yourself! :Grabs his arm and tugs him away from two well-aimed tentacles as they crash down almost on top of him: Don't die, you idiot.
Cloud: I'm not going to die, stupid. I can handle this fine on my own. :Tugs arm free from… him: As for all those "accusations," you are more idiotic than I first thought! If a person hints at wanting to be alone, you should take it and leave. Not be a complete imbecile, tag along, rant and rave about your gut, and then blame the other person, who was kind enough to allow you to tag along even though that person was completely against it, for getting you into a whole mess of trouble that you stumbled upon all on you own! Egotistical, self-centered, dim-witted- :Unsheathes sword: -uncooperative, insignificant- :Swings at a tentacle with the blunt part, not wanting to hurt the creature: -most selfish, foolish man I have ever met! :Places sword back as he continues to run:
Dart: So not only do you have no people skills, but you're rude and condescending too! How wonderful! :Dripping with sarcasm: Makes you such a neatly wrapped package, really. I mean what would some random stranger off the road be expecting in a random chaotic moment in their life from someone who they THOUGHT would be able to help them? Huh! :Runs on ahead while the other man is busy swiping at the monster at their heels: Oh of course! Insults, desertion and inconsiderate manners! Silly me, I thought people from the city would be nicer to us hick-town boys with nothing on their minds but their stomachs.
Cloud: :Resists urge to tie that… THING up to a tree and allow the octopus to get him: Shut up! Arguing is NOT going to get us out of this! So, if you don't mind, I suggest you stop acting like a child and figure out a way to stop this behemoth!
Dart: :Clamps his mouth shut as he keeps running and thinks before suggesting: If this thing lives outside of the water, then do you think it's safe to assume it won't go into the water if we went into the lake?
Cloud: Well, we won't know until you lead it there. :Jumps onto a tree and hops from one branch to another, out of the octopus's reach:
Dart: :Rolls eyes and decides to take the tighter route between the trees with thick underbrush to slow the monster down behind him: Thank Soa it's not far. I'm getting seriously bushed. :A few minutes more and not only is the octopus seeming to get tired but the lake comes into view: Coming in with me? :Throws a grin at the blonde male before increasing his speed and preparing to launch himself into the water:
Cloud: :Shakes his head whilst on a nearby branch: I'll wait right here and see what happens to you first. :Gets into a more comfortable position, having one leg swing below him as he rests his arm on the other:
Dart: :Doesn't even bother answering as he dives into the water head-first:
Giant Mountain Octopus: :Comes to the clearing where the water starts and pauses several feet away, watching as the dirty blonde surfaces out of reach. It makes a loud grumbling noise and leans towards the water before shying away as though scared, beginning to turn around but catches sight of Cloud. Immediately a bubbling growl of delight escapes it as it goes for the other male:
Cloud: …oh bother. :Hops down from branch and slides right between a few tentacles before running to the edge of the lake and diving right into it: … :Swims up to the surface: I decided to join you after all.
Giant Mountain Octopus: :Looks somewhat longingly after the two men and stretches out a tentacle towards them but withdraws it, and after some calling notes it turns and at last slides out of sight back into the depths of the forest:
Dart: Yeah, I thought you might. :Rolls eyes and splashes the blonde: So I don't know what'll eat us in here, but I have a feeling that if we go back in there any time soon... Ehh... :Groans: ...it'll be waiting for us.
Cloud: :Glares but then shudders at the thought: No thanks. I don't think I can handle anymore encounters. Let alone that THING again. :Exasperated sigh:
Dart: So then we'll eventually either be eaten from below the surface or drown once we get too tired to keep swimming anymore! Charming. :Sighs:
Cloud: …too bad dead bodies don't normally float. Then again… you're not normal so it might work. You. :Points to him: Drown.
Dart: :Glares at him before taking a deep breath and going under the surface:
Cloud: :Waits patiently for the bubbles to cease:
Dart: :Surfaces silently behind him and takes another unheard breath before pulling the blonde under with him:
Cloud: :Struggles to get free, trying not to breathe in too much water, kicking violently at the other… JERK wanting nothing more than to kill him:
Dart: :Let's him go halfway through and surfaces around the same time as him, but keeping his distance, a glare and smirk on his face:
Cloud: :Gasps for air, turning abruptly in the water to throw the other a malicious glare: What the hell is wrong with you?
Dart: :Smug: You started the list. You don't need me to tell you what's on it.
Cloud: … :Right eye begins twitching madly: Screw it! You're dead! :Takes out sword and lunges at the… BASTARD:
Rain: I say, Magical Bunnies to the rescue! :Sprinkles Magic Bunny Dust over the scene: Ta-da!
Vix: Yay! We can't have them killing each other yet, now can we, Rain? ;3 We still have a lot planned for the boys! :Evil grin:
Magical Bunnies: :Sweep in and grab both of the boys from out of the water wisking them off to some other land~!:
Rain: Now… let's pray things go more smoothly when next time we meet… or not. I forget which one is tastier! X3
Vix: I say we go with the flow! Quick Rain! Follow those bunnies! :Gets on her trusty steed and rides off into the sunset!:
Rain: …I'll take the short cut. :Poofles herself to the next chapter:
Author's Note: So this was our first chapter. Pretty cracky start, but it's all serving a purpose. ;3 Rain and I feel that over our years together, having Cloud and Dart as some pretty close friends of ours has made us realize just how well those two work together, and it's a sad... sad thing to see that there are no fics AT ALL mixing the world of FFVII with that of LoD. So! This is our ground-breaking ficlet! Hope you liked it! :D