Starting another story when I have 2 not finished yet. I hate stories without endings, but I also hate my unfinished stories, my plea for help and suggestions from those who want them continued is still wide open.

This is a new story that's been playing in my head the past month or two. I think it may have potential so I'm releasing this first chapter as a test.

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Chapter 1

I was taught to be the perfect soldier; to show no emotion. But does showing no emotion mean I have no feelings? I use to think they were one in the same, by blocking one I was automatically blocking the other. I did not concern myself with the lack of feelings and emotions I possessed during the war, but after the war it hit me. I watched the other pilots drift back to their home worlds or make new ones together; chase their dreams and desires; follow their emotions.

I had no dreams or desires to chase. No emotions to follow. I was a killing machine and without war I was lost. Duo tried to help. He tried teaching me about the pleasures life has to offer. He introduced me to ice cream and cake, two things he said could make any person happy. Happy. A simple word. An easy enough emotion. And yet, for the life of me, I can not tell you when the last time was I was happy because I don't recall ever being so. I don't even know if I would recognize the feeling if I did feel it. Is it a natural feeling or do you have to be taught what it is? Needless to say I felt no change after eating the ice cream or the cake, combining them together also had no effect.

Next Duo took me sky diving. He said the feeling it gives is pure bliss. Absolute freedom. Trouble is. I've been locked up, both physically and mentally my whole life. You'd think I'd be the first person to recognize freedom. If not the freedom than at least the thrill, exhilaration, excitement of knowing there is a slight chance my shoot wont open and I'll die; unable to do anything about it. Yet I felt nothing, aside from my stomach, as I plummeted to the ground from 13,000 feet, traveling at a speed of 120 miles per hour, with nothing but air between the ground and my body.

Once on the ground I could hear Duo whooping and yelling. Jumping in the air and twirling, which was quickly followed by the sounds of the contents of his stomach forcing their way out of his mouth while he hunched over. Once finished he staggered his way over to me as I started gathering my parachute.

"How was that?" he asked once he made it over to me.

"Hn" I responded, not looking at him.

"What! Nothing again! I thought this might not have been the best idea, I mean, you have self destructed, and we've all experienced a freefall here and there with our suits. But its never just been you and the air…for 4000 meters before!!! I mean, I'm the God of Death, but even that gets me nervous!"

I decided to look at him at this; his eyes big with excitement and mouth in a big open smile. I watched his eyes search my face for any sign of change. Any sign an emotion or feeling graced my features. I saw his eyes shrink and his smile falter as he realized nothing had changed. My face had remained in its stone-like passive expression the entire time.

"Its not over yet" he said, placing his hand on my shoulder, "I'm not going to stop trying till I find something."

I knew Duo had a life on L-2 he wanted to start. He had told me he wanted to run a junkyard there. He claimed it was the perfect job. He would get the cities unwanted items, which he would then be able to do what he wanted with. He would be getting paid to rifle through other people's garbage, searching anything he could use to make something with or repair. And why L-2? "It holds my memories" was his answer.

Memories. I didn't even have memories to look back on. Before departing L-1 in Wing, all I can remember is large white rooms and Dr. J. Not much to write home about, if you know what I mean. My first memory has me somewhere at the age of 10. I don't know what happened to the memories before then and I had never thought about it, until Duo found out about my lack of memory and decided to list every possible reason why I couldn't remember. I'm sure something on the list was the reason: an accident that erased my memory, bad event that my mind wanted to block out, drugs, I am a clone or lab experiment and didn't come into being until I was 10 and Duo's favorite: Dr. J cut out the part of my brain with my memories of my childhood. I actually think the clone or lab experiment are more likely, but I decided not to share that with Duo. Knowing J it wouldn't be a surprise, though any of the options wouldn't have surprised me. J was a fan of using drugs for everything, and I was born during a war. So tragic events: not uncommon.

But back to Duo's memories. They are the reason I left him. He had decided that I should have a full body massage and then go snowboarding, or something equally as fast paced. He believed the massage would relax my body to a point it had not seen since birth, which would then allow me to fully enjoy an extreme sport. I had my doubts and I wanted Duo to just get on with his life. Mine was unimportant. I was an organic machine. Duo was a person. I left a simple note in the hotel room we had been sharing. It read: "remember your dream".

I know he searched for me for 6 months, relentlessly. And he almost found me several times. But after six months he was starting to run out of money to keep up his intensive one-man search. He went back to L-2 and opened his garage, and saved up money. He also spent the time hacking into every government system he could think of. Any act of violence was followed up by Duo to see if anyone or detail fit with me.

When the Preventers started up I was wary about joining. Though it meant a life I was more accustomed with, it also mean our goal of ultimate peace had not, nor would ever, be achieved. About a year after the war I had had enough of aimless wandering. I decided to give Lady Une an unexpected visit.

I snuck into the Preventer's building, which was easier than I thought it would have been and broke into Une's office. I spent the night looking through the files on the system, seeing the types of cases they covered and how they operated. They were just like any other law enforcement agency, except they did it quietly. The general population had no idea they even existed. Their guise was as the headquarters of a bank, with a branch of said bank on the first floor.

I had just finished scanning the system, logged off Une's computer and went to wait in the corner seat when she walked into her office. 'Earlier riser' I thought. I watched her from my seat quietly, waiting for her to notice me. It wasn't until she sat at her desk and logged into her computer she realized something wasn't right. She looked up and her eyes fell immediately on me. She jumped up with a start and drew her gun aiming it at me before she realized who I was. I calmly got up from my seat and walked to stand in front of her. Her gun remained aimed at me and her expression went from shock to confusion to develop a slight smirk.

"Ah, Heero. I was wondering when you would grace me with your presence. Thanks for the heart attack this morning, I was greatly in need of one." She said, still aiming her gun at me and taking off the safety.

"Should I be worried you are sitting here in my office or relieved? I have an opening for you if that is why you are here. I also have a bullet with your name on it if you are here for other reasons. And if you were here just for the morning heart attack and not to accept the job or my bullet then I've also got hand cuffs to arrest you for breaking and entering and seeing information classified as sensitive and private."

"I came for a job" I replied.

"Great! I've been hoping you'd come around. We could really use you. Trowa and Wufei are here too, but you were always the most versatile of the five. I've been sending larger groups than I'd like on missions in order to have the different field covered. But you would be able to take the place of three, four men at least!"

"Would I make the salary of four men then?" I asked.

"Has Yuy developed a sense of humor? You will be making a sizeable amount since you would be our top agent."

"The money doesn't matter to me." I said "When would I start?"

"Normally our agents go through a 12 week training period, but I already know how you operate. Trowa and Wufei only went to a 4 week one, but that was because we hadn't fully opened yet. I have a mission that I need to get people on now. It requires a small force and the fewer the better. You always were better solo and that is how I would prefer this one to go. Seeing as you crept in here unseen even by the numbers cameras we have here I'm sure you don't want anyone else to know you've joined on, which makes you leaving here as soon as possible desirable for both of us."

I nodded in understanding and agreement.

"This mission will have you going to L-2 as a bartender. Drug lords have been known to frequent this particular bar. The last bartender was killed in a shoot out the other day and the bar has been closed since. It will be opening again tomorrow. The lords were chummy with the last bartender, so it is your job to gain their trust. For this mission you will need to hack records. Find out where the drugs are coming from, and where they are going. As well as everyone involved. These lords have been causing a lot of terror on L-2, taking over the cities and towns one by one. I'm not asking you to kill them all. Just get all the information, killing one here or there, as long as no one knows its you doing the killing is fine. But once you have all the information, you are to call me and I will send my forces to take care of it. You got that Heero? You are not to do this completely alone. You WILL call me when you have the information. I have teams stationed there already, but they are blended in with the police forces to provide their services and to be on call when we need them at a moments notice."

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I arrived on L-2 early the next morning. Just enough time to check into my hotel and get a few hours sleep before I was to show up at the bar.

L-2 was not the place I would have picked for my first mission. In fact I'd been staying as far away from L-2 as possible. My luck ran out even more when I found out the bar I was to tend was in the same sector as Duo's junkyard.