Written for Scavenger Hunt Challenge (19. A Marauder's Era fic), Variety of Prompts Challenge (relationship 2. Platonic/ Location 2. The Hog's Head)
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything associated to it.
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The Marauder's did a lot of stupid thing; there was not a person (living or dead) who could deny that, but this, this was near the top of their list. It had started off wrong from the start. A trip out of the castle, making use of the passage into Honeydukes, and a bar attendant at the Hog's Head who cared very little if they should be up at the school or down at the pub. At the age of eighteen (just barely in one or two cases), the four boys should not have been allowed to even conceive what was to be the most troublesome night for all of them.
"We really shouldn't be too long." Remus sighed, his gaze focused on what remained of the butterbeer in the mug. "We still have homework we need to do."
"Lighten up, Moony." Sirius pointed a drunken finger at his friend across the table. "We have all… all weekend to do that… stuff. Besides, I have to drink Prongs under the table."
"Oh please." James rolled his eyes, pushing his glasses back up in place at the bridge of his nose. He smirked at the teen across the table. "I will win this you dog. And those Gallons will be mine."
Peter laughed, pocking a finger into Sirius's chest. "You two are totally pissed."
"Hey." Sirius swatted off the probing finger. "Don't mock me, Wormtail. You keep this up… you keep this up and I… I won't buy you those ice mice things you love."
"Whatcha gunna use to buy…" James trailed off for a moment as if debating his speech. "To buy those… things with. You're 'bout to lose all your… all your money."
"Honestly you two." Remus narrowed his eyes. "I think this competition of yours needs to come to an end. I do not want to, nor will I, be dragging your two's drunken bodies back through the passageway. We will leave you here until you sober up."
"Oh calm down." James waved off his friend, taking one of the beers before him. Sirius repeated the action, holding it ready to drink. With a nod, the two downed the contents. Sirius finished first, slamming the glass bottle onto the table seconds before James's own bottle left his lip.
"I win!" Sirius shouted, his voice echoing through the pub. "That's six to…"
"Five." Peter supplied.
"Five!" Sirius repeated. "I finished six before you! That's one more than you. Pay up!"
"One more round!" James declared.
"No." Remus cut them off there. "That is the end of this childish game. Now, can we please return to the castle before we get caught? I would rather not have to explain to a teacher why the two of you are smash faced while we were supposed to be in our dorm."
"You are no fun." Sirius smirked, his voice dripping in alcohol, reaching across the table to brush his finger over Remus's nose. "But you've got a point. We already… paid right?"
"Ya." James nodded, just as tipsy. 'It's getting kind of late. I don't want to break into Honeydukes to get back."
"Can you too walk alright?" Peter asked after the two tried to rise, and nearly toppled a chair in the process.
"We're fine." Sirius waved the concern off. "Bloody chair just… was in my way, that's all."
"You worry too much." James added, making a grab for his coat, which lead into tries two and three.
"Just remember that if we get caught, I will not take the fall." Remus muttered, rising and dawning his own coat.
Sirius tossed a friendly smirk at his friend. "If that happens, we'll say you're a hostage."
"A hostage of love." James said in a sing-song manner.
Remus shock his head, pointing towards the door. "Just go."
The two slightly tipsy teens lead the precession out of the pub, and back into the empty streets of Hogsmead. A light snow fell around them, the remainder of slowly leaving winter. The four moved through the streets quickly, keeping an eye out for any teachers that might have come down to the town to blow of stress. Honeydukes was just up ahead, and Remus thought they were going to get away with that night.
That was until the dumbest idea slipped from Sirius' mouth: "I bet I could become an animagus faster than you."
Before Remus could stop the quickly down slopping genius of his friends, the two slipped into an alleyway. It seemed that after the eleven rounds of down the beer, that the two's intelligence level was depleted beyond repair.
"Oh no." Remus growled, dragging Peter behind him to catch up. "You two are going to get us in so much trouble. Did you even register? You could be in serious trouble if you get caught."
James shrugged. "When isn't Sirius in trouble?"
"I don't know if that's a bad name joke," Sirius replied, "or a really good question."
"Either way." Remus grabbed ahold of the two's shoulder. "We are ending this now, and going back to the castle. You are the Head Boy, James. You can't be caught doing this stuff."
"Stop worrying." Peter rolled his eyes, enjoying the scene more than he probably should have. "I mean, he is Head Boy after all, I'm sure he can talk his way out of trouble, if we are caught."
"Just because one of your friends is Head Boy," James spoke, raising the pitch of his voice to imitate that of Remus, "does not mean that you are entitled a get-out-of-trouble pass."
"Great Moony, there Prongs." Sirius snickered. "But when you do it, you have to add a bit of snotty totty. This is the Marauder's pet nerd after all."
"Right you are my dear friend." James clapped a hand on his friends back. "Now about that contest. On the count of three. Wormtail, count off friend."
"One." Peter began.
"Do not give into this insanity, Peter."
"Two."
"I am serious, you guys." Remus sighed.
"Actually," Sirius's smirk was growing so wide at this point that his face threatened to tear in two. "That would be my name."
"Three." Peter cheered.
It was a sight to behold, two tipsy teenagers attempting to perform the correct magic in order to become the animagus of their choice. The two shifted quickly. The darkness in the alleyway shielded much of the transformation, but the other two boy's had seen it enough time to not be surprised whenever a smirking dog and a wobbling stage took the place of the two.
"Well." Remus huffed, eyeing the creatures before him with the slightest of amusement in his eyes. "I think you two were tied. Now change back, we need to get to the castle. I want dinner."
The shaggy dog seemed to snicker, before a slight shudder raced over his fur. Moments later, the dog moved onto its hind legs, and quickly shifted back into human form. Sirius shock out his hair, smiling in the process. "I think I was faster."
"Um, James?" Peter's concern filled voice drew their eyes onto the stag in question. The creature appeared to be frowning, shacking its body back and forth as to dry off. Whatever it was trying to do, was not happening. The stag looked at them, a desperate gleam in his eyes.
"Are you really that much of a light weight?" Sirius snickered darkly, having to hold onto the building beside him due to both the alcohol in his system, and the laughter that sent him doubling over.
Peter looked between the three. "What's wrong with him?"
"The sod seems to be stuck." Remus answered, a smile pulling at his lips at this point. "I can't believe this. Maybe you shouldn't have drank so much."
The stag glared at him.
"How are we going to get him into the castle?"
Peter's question caused them all to freeze. They exchanged panicked glances, realizing in that moment the shit they had stepped in. James huffed, shaking his head back and forth. He wobbled on his set of legs, but managed to stay upright.
"More importantly," Sirius said, a level of philosophy on his lips, "how do we explain to Lily, why there's a deer in the Head's house?"