(children of tomorrow) live in the tears that fall today
Spoilers: General S5
Warnings: un-betaed
Disclaimer: If it were mine there'd be more slash. As it is, SPN belongs to CW and Kripke&Co. The title is from Black Sabbath's Children of the Grave. (Do people still use these?)
Feedback: Criticism please! Any feedback is love.
The sky is grey and overcast and Dean finds himself with a strange, desperate wish that he could see the sky and the brilliant gold of the sun. And this whole situation is just really weird, because he's been hunting for years—for all his life—but it's never felt like this, never felt like going into battle, like saying goodbye.
Sam is already in the passenger seat, watching Dean where he stands on the other side with the door open. And they're all watching him, looking to him like some sort of leader, which he never wanted to be and he'll never get used to—Bobby says that's a good thing, that the danger is when you get used to it. Bobby, now with a book in his hand, but a gun at his side, and he'll never get over feeling useless. Chuck and Becky, who aren't quite sure what their places in this are anymore. And Cas, who's staying behind because he knows he's much better at research and tactical than he ever was at hunting—even more so, now that he's lost most of his powers. Which all seems kind of absurd given that he used to be a soldier, but there it is.
Dean gives an abrupt little nod that says goodbye and this is the end, isn't it even though no one says it and I didn't want it to be this way and I love you all, and he's just bending down to get in the Impala when he sees Cas step forwards suddenly, strangely jerkily, Dean thinks, when he's usually so calculatedly graceful. He pauses, straightens, and Cas is right in front of him, one hand on Dean's shoulder, right over where the brand of his hand-print is, underneath his clothes. And then Cas is kissing him, just a quick press of lips, and Dean doesn't feel as surprised or shocked as he thinks he should.
And then it's over and Cas's face is still just an inch away from his own, and Cas whispers, in a desperate little voice, 'Come back.'
It's a prayer, Dean thinks, only he's not sure if it's to God or to him. It contains all the fear and emotion that Dean will never get used to because it's his fault that Cas has to feel this and he's an angel, dammit, he shouldn't have to be afraid.
Dean nods slowly and puts a hand on Cas's shoulder, mirroring him. He doesn't say I will because he can't promise that and he's not going to lie to Cas. He kind of wishes, though, that Cas had worked up this courage a long time ago, or that he himself had fucking paid attention. But it hadn't happened that way, so he smiles softly, sadly at Cas, as he lets his hand fall away, brushing briefly against his neck. He gets in the car, trying not to slam the door.