But I'm Starting To Lose Control.

The Doctor stared at his awed Rose, who was smiling at the scene out in the sky. Her eyes twinkled by the lights showering the midnight sky and suddenly the Doctor grabbed her hand. He slid it into her pink little hands, loving the feel of her hands fitting into his hand. The Doctor couldn't deny it, his mouth literally ached to say those three little words. He can't, he really wish he did though. But every time he tried, his mouth stuck like glue and that wasn't a happy feeling. At all. What was the real problem was the fact that he knew she felt the same way. Apparently, his super Time Lord senses. He can sense her. It was really a losing control moment, knowing she was there with just a badump of her heart.

"Doctor..."

"Hmm? Oh. Yes, Rose?" He looked down at her smiling face, her tongue sticking between her teeth. Oh her lips.

"Those lights. They, are so pretty..."

"Yes, fascinating even." The Doctor wasn't looking at the dark sky, her lovely face was better than this. She has always topped everything with that toothy grin of hers.

Badump.

Then, he heard it. Quiet. A whisper, just barely flying into his ears.

"I love you..."

His head snapped down to his Rose, feeling like he was flying on top of the world. Her face was flushed, beet red, but he loved it. Every minute, every second. If he could just see her lovely face once more...

Just once he could see that smile of hers...he would be the happiest man alive.

The Doctor woke in an instant, feeling beads of sweat trickle down his bare back and the tears slowly rimmed his dark, sad eyes. If he could just see her face, once more. Then, everything would be perfect. He believed that. With a tired sigh, he got up, flinging a baby blue robe onto his back and trudged out of his room and into the Tardis. Seeing her room. Right in front of his. He thought for a moment, scolding the Tardis for doing this but silently finding himself into her room anyways. Rose's room.

All pink and yellow. It was like she was still there...yet...

He lost her. He lost every being of her. Her eyes. Her smile...her rosy cheeks. He let her go. She's gone. He can't get her back. He can never get her back. Her blonde hair, flecked with gold as if the sun...the sun made it for her. Her cheeky little tongue and her lovely hands, her small little hands, that fit perfectly. Oh, how he missed her. Yet, he could never get her and even then, she wouldn't accept him. Him being a completely new generation. With his goofy laughter and his love of bow ties. The Doctor wonders about this, as he lay down on her bed, if she realized how much he loves her. He still loves her.

It was an hour later when he heard those familiar footsteps. Clara's. Oh, and how he loved Clara, he truly did, he loved all of his companions. If only she knew about her, if Clara knew about Rose...he couldn't tell her. Secrets go into dust, and Rose was one of those secrets, a secret he chose to keep into his soul. He hated to spill secrets. Its like living though the moment. Feeling her, once again, then suddenly...she's gone...far away...where he could never reach her.

"Doctor!" Clara exclaimed. Quietly she did, but she was getting worried, it wasn't usual when he disappeared into the Tardis, and yet she still hasn't found his bedroom. She still wasn't quite sure that the clever boy even slept. Ha, it was thought. Clara continued to journey when she came across two doors. One blue and one pink and purple. The Doctor always told her about the Tardis, and that sometimes the colors on the doors meant something and the he went on about a joke when one of his companions got lost in his Tardis. Though, the Tardis is very confusing, she thought she understood her quite well. But know, she stumbled across two doors, doors she never heard about and it was only a time until she ventured one of them.

And, it wasn't a surprise when she did pick one, the colorful one. Come on, colors attract a girl quite well. Besides, the door looked elegant, with its dark purple font and its pink accents. She inspected the door further before going in, seeing that a rose was engraved by the gold doorknob and suddenly her knees felt weak.

What if this was one of his companions rooms? I mean, the Doctor was pretty strict about tales of his old companions, not telling her much, but a snippet of his past life. Only just a glance. And she was satisfied with this glance, she wasn't picky. She loved the Doctor, but as much as that went along, she respected him. She was his impossible girl...and she knew it was a title she lived up to. Besides, she's known him far too well, her being, well, you know.

Yet, as she twisted the doorknob, her stomach did a flip. She felt the familiar hum of the Tardis telling her go...and she opened it. Just a creak. Clara flinched as the noise bounced of the walls and stepped in, quietly whispering his name. "Doctor, where are you? I know about your sleep arrangements but this is really ge-" Once the lights clapped on, her voice caught her throat. She saw it. She saw a yellow colored wallpaper fill the room and shelves stacked with photos, homemade videos and movies. Many Disney, from Mary Poppins to Aladdin. She saw a telly, and a mobile on a drawer. She saw a restroom and roses. Roses, just every where.

Clara knew this isn't just another room.

Most of all, she saw him. Her Doctor, sleeping on a bed with strewn clothes just everywhere. Not his clothes, it was a woman's...and that was the only sign of her.

Clara searched, leaving her trusty Doctor be. Though, every once and a while, she would hear him whimper. Like a dog, stuck in the dog house during a storm. It broke her heart. But, when she found something, a something to give her a clue, her heart broke even more.

It was a book, a diary, and a video camera.

She picked up the diary first, gingerly and flipped through it. Her eyes caught his name many times and finally found a page.

Entry 37

The Doctor is delirious. Always fixing that console. Even I know that it doesn't need fixin'. Anyways, we just got back from Bojik, a complete planet full of stars. Everywhere! It was magical. The Doctor told me that the stars were made bye the aliens who live there. They are called Bokids, a clan who honored sacrifice and love. It really was something I can't quite forget. Then again, the Doctor kept on rambling like a madman! I love him, but he's so childish. He may act so high and mighty but, I can see it. He really just...well-

Suddenly the diary started to glow in Clara's hands and a projection showed through. It was her, not her her the other her, and the Doctor, yet, he looked...different.

"Rose?"

"Hmm?"

"What are you doing? Writing in books, I just can't understand you humans, always doing pointless things"

"Oi! We could save a lot of time without your constant blabbering! I wonder where the information came from?" Rose scolded him, a smile tugging on her pink lips.

"You have gotten a point Rose, but maybe we could cease this little talk..." The Doctor leaned toward her, nose to nose, "Hmm?"

Clara immediately closed the book, face flushed. Maybe information could come to her from somewhere else. She crinkles her nose, only imagining what could be in the video camera and book. She smiles, hoping, and asking, the Tardis could be of assistance. "Please?" Clara begs, voice dulcet.

The Tardis hums in response.

"Just tell me where to look, closet or bed?"

The Tardis hums near the closet, giving Clara an accomplished smile. She ventures over there, opening the door and seeing not only clothes...but trinkets. So many trinkets, lined up and down the walls. Glowing with curiosity, Clara quickly closes the door and rushes inside. Her eyes travel up and down. Amazed at what she saw.

Everything had its own story, it had a little card, or note. Not only that but inside there were clothes, simple yet very 2000's. And Clara loved the new discovery.

A very new discovery indeed.