Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Description: Nigou goes missing, and the only one who sees him get taken is Kise. He enlists the help of the Generation of Miracles in order to help him and Kuroko find the puppy, and chaos ensues.
"Kurokocchi!"
Kise calling out to Kuroko isn't particularly strange or uncommon, so for a second, Kuroko simply sighs and waits for his order of hugging with a side of waterworks.
That is, until he remembers where he is. He's standing in the doorway to his own house, meaning that Kise either a] went to Seirin (again) and followed him home (again), or b] found his spare key and broke into his place of residence (also again). It's 8:00 on a Saturday, and already, Kise-kun...
He really needs more 'normal' friends.
"Ah, Kise-kun. What is wrong?" he says, tilting his head to the side with authentic worry. The last time Kise had shown up inside his house like this, he had cried for three whole hours and begged Kuroko to go trick-or-treating with him and 'Aominecchi', because he would undoubtedly have trouble dealing with the tanned teen. He doesn't have time for Kise's usual antics.
"Kurokocchi, it's terrible! I saw this weirdo take poor little Nigou!" he exclaims, tears already welling in his eyes. This registers in Kuroko's mind, and his eyes widen.
"Kise-kun, where was this?" he asks frantically, although you cannot tell if you don't know him.
"The court just down the street! I know he loves playing with basketballs, and he was rolling one around with his paw, but he looked alone! Then I figured that you were somewhere around him, and some creep with glasses swooped in and kidnapped him!" Kise explains, and Kuroko's eyes narrow.
"Are you sure the 'creep' wasn't just Midorima-kun, Kise-kun?" he asks, and Kise throws his hands in the air. Kuroko senses something fishy about the situation, but says nothing; chances are it's too late, anyway.
"Yes! He had black hair, and you know that Midorimacchi's disguises are always the worst! There's no way he could have one so authentic," Kise says, scratching his chin for a second. The doorbell rings, and Kise's eyes light up. Kuroko's suspicions deepen, and Kise squeals before running to the door and swinging it open, to reveal...
"Midorima-kun?" Kuroko says, slightly incredulous, but still keeping his calm facade. Midorima nods curtly.
"Oha-Asa said that my luck would be best if I helped a friend today, so don't think I actually care about your dog. I also don't consider you a 'friend', but you're the best I was presented with," he says, not meeting Kuroko or Kise's eyes directly. Kise pouts, but Kuroko just nods, used to his tsundere antics.
"I understand. Thank you anyway, Midorima-kun. However, I do not know why you have been summoned here," he says, looking at Kise with expectant eyes. Kise rubs the back of his neck.
"Hah... well, I kinda freaked when I figured out that Nigou had been captured. So I called out to all of our old teammates. D-Don't worry, Kurokocchi, they won't all be coming to your house... see, I kind of got shot down by a few of them..."
[AS SOON AS NIGOU WAS TAKEN]
"No! He won't get away with this... ne~, who will know what to do until I can see Kurokocchi?" Kise mumbles to himself while poking around Kuroko's house, looking for the expertly hidden key. Suddenly, he stands, banging his head on the window pane and losing some much needed brain cells. "I know! Aominecchi!"
To: Aominecchi
From: Kise
Subject: Aominecchiiiiiiiiiiii 333
Heeyyyy~! (=w=) Aominecchi, the worst thing happened! (/`A')/I need you to get back to Kurokocchi's place right now so I can give you the details!
After that, Kise sits patiently, sifting through a bit of dirt from the small garden in front of the Kuroko residence, still looking for the key. A message comes in.
To: Stupid Idiot
From: Aomine
Subject: go die in a well
kise fucking ryouta go somewhere else with your stupid problems i kind of have my own right now so leave me alone
Kise pouts, before snapping his fingers again. "I'll just message everybody! At least one of them will answer, right?" And so he does, and he gets many different responses.
To: Kise
From: Midorima
Subject: Fine
I'll be there. Don't think I'm doing this for you or Kuroko.
...
To: Kise-chin
From: Murasakibara
Subject: neeeeehhhhhhhhh
okay~~~ just have snacks and stuff kise-chin. ill do it cause it means i get to skip practice and get sweets
...
To: Ryouta
From: Akashi
Subject: My Sincerest Apologies
Ryouta,
I regret to inform you that I cannot help you with your search. I find myself quite busy at the time. Although I cannot be there in person, please give your best effort into finding Tetsuya's dog in my stead. Thank you.
Akashi Seijuro
...
[PRESENT TIME]
"Heh... well, I'm sure we'll do fine, even without Aominecchi and Akashicchi!" Kise exclaims, still with high hopes. Murasakibara arrives surprisingly quickly, seeing as he lives a reasonable distance away from the others. He must have really wanted to avoid a weekend practice if he arrived at such a pace.
The four sit in a square on the floor, and Midorima turns to Kise first.
"Kise, can you describe the perpetrator?" he says, and Kise nods.
"Yep! He had a pretty big figure, but he wasn't that old... he had silver rimmed glasses, and black hair, plus, there was another person waiting for him. He was a blond, and looked kinda angry... he was built, too. Anyway, I don't think I can tell you else about them," Kise says, and Midorima sighs.
"Alright... how about their auras? What kinds of... vibes did you get from them?"
Kise shivers. "They were creepy. I wouldn't be surprised if they were like... pedophiles, or something," he says, fake gagging for a second before smiling. "But if we work as a team, I know we can do it!"
Midorima breathes out. "We'll check at all the school gyms first. Nigou likes courts. You said the criminals weren't that old, meaning that they may be from one of our schools. First will be Seirin, then Kaijou, then Shutoku, then Touou. If we cannot find the person who carried out the crime by that time, then we will be forced to regroup tomorrow and take a trip to Kyoto to look at both Yosen and Rakuzan," he says, and Kise's eyes sparkle.
"Midorimacchi, you're like a crime busting detective!" he declares, and a light pink blush spreads across the green haired teen's face.
"It's just a basic outline! You would be able to figure something out too if you had an actual brain," he chides, and Murasakibara munches a few more of his chips.
"Now then. Kise, your role will be using your charm to get us clearance into the schools. Kuroko, you will search the places that are hard to reach. Murasakibara, you will search the high ground. I will talk, because I don't feel like being arrested because one of you says something stupid," he says with finality, and Kise gets a thoughtful face.
"I don't have a problem with that, but if we're looking for serious dog-napping criminals... don't we need some kind of protection? I mean, so we can get down and dirty if necessary?" He says the last part while wiggling his eyebrows, and Midorima gives him a glare.
"Yes, I suppose so," he says thoughtfully, and Kuroko nods.
"I agree. However, all I have is household items, and maybe a few other sports related items from my older siblings," he explains, and Murasakibara smiles before patting the boy's head a few times.
"Don't worry, Kuro-chin. That will work just fine," he promises, and Midorima sighs at what he knows will inevitably happen.
Kise puts a smirk on his face, and he pulls Kuroko up. The others stand too. "Let's equip."
...
In the end, Kise has a metal pot on his head, a cheese grater protecting his right thigh, and duct tape around both elbows. Midorima has a wok on his head, baseball pads on his legs, and a single rollerblading pad on his right elbow. Murasakibara has a bowl on his head, a baseball chest protector, and bubble wrap around his long legs. Kuroko has a strainer on his head, bubble wrap around one elbow and the other rollerblading pad on his other, and two large combs taped to his shins.
Kise is armed with a baseball bat (he expertly swings it around and twirls it around his shoulders and neck with ease, explaining that he used to play), Murasakibara has a meter stick, Kuroko has a hockey stick (they have no idea where it even came from; Kuroko is sure that nobody in his family has ever played hockey), and Midorima has a large cloth bag full of hard baseballs (his aim is superb, after all).
Midorima shoots Kise a look. "Kise. As much as I... admire your fashion sense, we're at least 40% more likely to get arrested while dressed like this," he says through gritted teeth, and Kise crosses his arms.
"Don't blame me when some creep attacks you and you're the only one unarmed," he snarks, and Midorima scowls. He keeps his baseballs and 'armor'. "Right! Then, off to Seirin!"
...
Basketball practices aren't unheard of on weekends, especially not with a captain like Hyuuga Junpei and a coach like Aida Riko. "Man, why couldn't Kuroko come," Kagami grumbles, and Aida sighs.
"It's the first time he's ever missed practice. He said something about visiting a grandmother in the hospital, so I didn't want to pry. He said he would make it part way through, but I don't want to pressure him," she says, wondering about the teal haired boy's home life. "And anyway... just keep practicing, you idiot! You need to work! Just because we beat Rakuzan doesn't mean that we won't need to work our asses off next year too!" she yells, clapping her hands.
Kagami swallows and works more with his left hand.
Suddenly, Koganei and Mitobe both bust into the room, Koganei spluttering and Mitobe looking shocked. "Koga, weren't you just going to go get water?" Aida asks, hands on her hips, and Mitobe makes a few gestures. All eyes turn to Koganei.
"Mitobe is right! It's not normal! And wasn't Kuroko not gonna make it?" he asks, making the entire team stop and stare (many were already, but now all attention is on the two shocked looking teens).
"What do you mean?" Aida asks slowly, but before she can, the other gym door busts open, and a confident Midorima Shintarou enters, looking... stranger than usual.
Wait. There's more of them. And they all look... and Kuroko is...
"Kuroko, what the hell?!" Kagami stammers, staring at their strange get-ups. Kuroko nods once at Kagami before turning away, looking around the gym meticulously. Murasakibara seems to be doing the same thing, although he looks up high and Kuroko looks down low and in small corners that none of the others would fit in. Kise trails after Kuroko seemingly useless, and Midorima approaches Aida with a grim face.
"Have you seen Nigou around here?" he asks, and Aida shakes her head in shock. Midorima clicks his tongue. "Kuroko, it seems that the dog isn't here," he comments, tapping his right finger on his padded elbow in thought. "Wait," he says suddenly, turning to Hyuuga. "Have you seen two suspicious characters around here? One has black hair, glasses, is muscular, and isn't too old. The other is blond and also fit," he says, giving the captain a suspicious once over.
Kise shakes his head, materializing next to Midorima. "Nah, it wasn't him. The guy I'm talking about was way creepy, Midorimacchi. This guy is too kind looking to be a potential pedophile," he rationalizes, and Midorima nods.
"I see... we'll be going to Kaijou next, then," he mumbles, handing a slip of paper to Aida. "This is all of our phone numbers. Contact us if you see anything suspicious," he says, before nodding and walking away, the others following behind.
"Was I just insulted?" Hyuuga asks once they're gone, not sure if he should be insulted or not.
...
"Man, I never thought it would be so quiet without Kise's constant rambling," Moriyama says, shaking his head with a strange smile. Kasamatsu snorts.
"Please. I'm glad the guy is out modeling today; it gave me an excuse to tell him not to show up at all. I can't deal with him all the time, you know. Plus, I think they got a new security guard to make sure intruders stay out," Kasamatsu says smoothly, looking over some new plays that he devised.
The door bangs open, and Kasamatsu refrains from kicking the blond in the doorway for two reasons. He doesn't want to get his foot cheese-grated, first of all, but the blond also holds a baseball bat with seasoned experience. It's slightly unnerving.
"Hey, Kasamatsucchi! Over here! It's Kisecchi, your teammate! Right here! I know you said not to come, but it's an emergency!" Kise yells, waving around his arms as if actively trying to look like an idiot and gather attention to the pot on his head. Out of nowhere, a hand appears and whacks the head of the boy standing in the doorway.
Kise falls forward with an oomph, and Midorima, Murasakibara, and Kuroko follow after him to carry out their various jobs. Midorima glares at Kise, the wok on his head slightly off balance.
"Kise, you imbecile! I told you I would be doing the talking, seeing as your diplomacy skills are a single rank above that of a newborn squirrel's," Midorima says through grinding teeth, taking a deep breath before walking calmly toward Kasamatsu.
"Why are you here?" Kasamatsu asks warily, glancing at the sack of baseballs in his hand. Is it one of those 'lucky item' things Kise told him about? "This is a private practice."
Midorima shakes his head. "We are not here to watch you practice, actually. We are here to ask if you have seen a puppy around your basketball court. It is a small Alaskan Malamute, and it enjoys hanging around players with good skills in basketball, or, if unavailable, places with any basketballs available," Midorima explains, and Kasamatsu shakes his head.
He just wants all the idiots out of the gym so they can continue practicing.
"On a slightly different subject, have you seen two strange characters hanging around? One has black hair and glasses, the other is blond, and they're both young, fit males," Midorima describes. Kasamatsu raises an eyebrow.
"Are you sure you're not thinking of Kise, and that Seirin SG? If not, then no," Kasamatsu says, and Midorima sighs.
"No? Hm... alright, then. Here," he says, handing Kasamatsu a slip of paper. "It's all of our information. Contact us if you see the puppy, or the suspects."
With that, the intruders leave, Kise waving like a madman while the purple haired Murasakibara pulls him out of the gym. Kuroko gives a respectful bow, then leaves. Kasamatsu shakes his head.
"Generation of Miracles? More like Generation of Idiots."
...
"I'm pretty sure I charmed the pants right off of that guard," Kise brags as they sit on the train, Midorima silently sulking over how much money he's losing while running to different schools. Shutoku, his own school, is next though. That'll be... fun.
"Ne, ne, Kise-chin... that isn't really something to be super proud about," Murasakibara reminds him, and Kise sighs.
"I know. I think I did a little too much," he admits scratching the back of his neck. Kuroko looks around their small group, and sees that nobody wants to sit in their general vicinity. Why not? He can't help but wonder, seeing as nobody has ever had any issues with sitting near him before. The strainer of his head shifts, and he fixes it quickly.
The people are probably intimidated by Murasakibara-kun. That's it.
Definitely.
...
"I miss annoying Shin-chan," Takao whines slightly as he practices his ball handling, and Taisuke shakes his head. The green haired boy is a handful, but he's fallen into the ranks of a Shutoku player, and he really is a force to be reckoned with.
"Glad to know you care so much," a cool voice says, and the team turns to see the very same ex-selfish bastard walking through the door with a huge bag, some old teammates trailing behind him to look around their gym suspiciously. The tall one, Murasakibara, taps on random objects with his yard stick, as if looking for hidden doors, and Kuroko (Takao wouldn't shut up about him for like a week after their first game) reaches behind things with his hockey stick.
"Ah, Shin-chan! Just the guy I was looking for!" Takao says happily, already flipping through different phrases to say to rile up the humorless mushroom. Midorima pushes up his glasses and turns to Taisuke instead, allowing Kise to put up a screen between the cheery boy and himself.
"Sorry," the blond says sheepishly, blocking all of Takao's attempts. "Midorimacchi has to talk about something serious."
It would have had a bigger effect if they didn't look so ridiculous.
"Uh," Taisuke says, slightly bewildered. Honestly, he gets used to one screwed up tendency the horoscope obsessed idiot has, and he comes up with another. It's unreasonable.
"I'll keep it quick, as I've learned from my past mistakes. Have you seen a small Alaskan Malamute puppy who enjoys basketballs, or two young men, one with black hair and glasses and the other with blond hair?" he asks, and Taisuke shakes his head before narrowing his eyes.
"Is this what you're skipping practice for?" he asks incredulously, and a light pink dust covers Midorima's cheeks.
"Yes, but it's more important than it looks. It is within fate's hands. Now, as an answer to my former question..."
"No. I haven't."
"Alright, then. Murasakibara, do one last sweep," Midorima requests, and the tall purple head nods before sweeping the room with his enormous height.
"Ne, no sign of Nigou Mido-chin," the giant mumbles, stuffing some Pocky into his mouth now. Midorima sighs.
"Great. Off to Touou, then," he mutters, and Kise squeals, drawing all eyes to him.
"Yay~! Aominecchi!"
...
"I can't believe you actually showed up for practice," Momoi Satsuki beams, looking at her childhood friend happily. Said friend snorts.
"I was beaten, wasn't I? And by Tetsu, of all people... besides, that's not the point here! Satsuki, you need to stop them!" He growls, gesturing to the members of his team.
"H-He's so cute... sorry!" Sakurai cries out, admiring the puppy before him. Imayoshi glances at the thing happily, as does Wakamatsu; it seems that they found it in a basketball court while they were visiting an old friend, then when they came back here, they just brought the thing with them.
It would be less concerning if it didn't already belong to somebody, and even less so if Aomine didn't know who.
"C'mon, Dai-chan! They love little Nigou!" She exclaims, and Aomine rubs his face tiredly. He's not the one being an idiot for once.
"But he's not ours!" he exclaims, and suddenly the doors burst open with power.
And his old teammates waltz right in. A flashback hits Aomine of the message that Kise sent him about some 'serious business', and he's definitely glad that he refused. He had actually said no because he had to make sure that nobody got overly attached to Nigou, but now, seeing their outfits, he can see that it's better this way.
"Aominecchi! The worst thing happened!" Kise yells, and Aomine looks around the annoying blond to see the tsundere with a boner for fate, the lazy bum who'll be overweight by college, and... Tetsu. What. The. Hell.
"Aominecchi, it was terrible! I was the only one who witnessed... the... the tragedy... the..." Kise says, eyes wide. His words fall straight from his mouth, and, seemingly out of nowhere, a dark aura surrounds Kise as he expertly flips his baseball bat around his shoulders.
"Midorimacchi. Murasakibaracchi. Kurokocchi. Those are the guys," he says, and immediately, all of their aura's darken too.
"I didn't have enough snacks to last me the day. I had to walk around, too," Murasakibara growls as he pulls back his hair.
"I wasted all of my savings on transportation," Midorima follows, cracking his knuckles.
"..." Kuroko says nothing, but Aomine knows that he has the capability to be just as scary as Akashi Seijuro. Aomine inwardly swears.
"I told you," he whispers to Satsuki before clears his throat.
"Guys, it's not what it looks li-" he starts, but before he can get any further, Kise starts sprinting, bat raised in an offensive pose. Murasakibara raises his meter stick to swing, already almost within range with his enormous wingspan. Midorima walks unnecessarily closer to the two, already holding two balls in a single hand. Kuroko seems to disappear and reappear right next to Imayoshi and Wakamatsu.
The two finally seem to realize that there are shadows looming over them and their teammates. Kise goes to swing first, screaming all the while.
"How dare you criminals kidnap Nigoucchiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" he yells, and Imayoshi's eyes open fully and widen.
Aomine jumps, and grabs the bat right before it hits his captain's face. He breathes a sigh of relief.
"Kise, it isn't what it looks like," he promises, and Kise seethes.
"Then what happened?!" Kise yells, and Aomine sighs again.
"These two saw Nigou and took him back here because they thought he was cute and all alone. I tried to get them to leave him alone, but they wouldn't. Just take him and leave; Imayoshi and Wakamatsu are harmless," Aomine soothes, and Kise suddenly gains a look of confusion instead of anger.
"Wait... Imayoshicchi... Wakamatsucchi..." he murmurs, eyes widening. "THOSE TWO ARE YOUR TEAMMATES?"
"Uh, yeah, why?" Aomine asks, and Kise looks at Midorima and gulps.
The green haired teen's aura hasn't gone away yet.
"Kise," Midorima says slowly, and Kise swallows.
"Yes, Midorimacchi?"
"Next time you say that some pedophiles took Nigou, make sure they're actually pedophiles," he grits out, and Kise looks at him with wide eyes.
"But Midorimacchi, look at them! They look like creeps!" Kise defends, gesturing wildly toward the boiling Wakamatsu and amused Imayoshi. Kuroko bends down slightly, and the puppy jumps out of the arms of the random, basketball playing strangers and onto the head of him master.
It's only then that Aomine realizes just how similar the puppy and Tetsu are.
They'll both follow anybody, really, just as long as they really love basketball. They love basketball courts more than anything. But they still stay loyal to their friends, even if they allow a few perverts to catch them.
The proverbial 'pervert' in Tetsu's situation being Kagami Taiga, of course.
"Well, Nigou is back now, so I think it's a happy ending!" Kise says with finality, and Midorima glares at the blond.
"Go die in a well."