A/N: So this has been banging around on my computer (what an odd image that is) since I was planning on doing a one-shot for each of the songs on the Sigh No More album but couldn't quite work up the motivation. The other one I had done was the snow-ball fight that eventually ended up in say my name (and every colour illuminates) so…yeah.
My old a/n: this just spoke to me of Lily and a last ditch attempt to have her sister comfort her.
…enjoy.
Edit: okay so the reviews are asking what went down between Lily and James; I hadn't got anything specific in mind when I wrote this but it was probably something in the general James-not-wanting-her-to-fight-because-she's-Muggleborn-and-he's-wonderfully-over-protective-and-doesn't-want-to-lose-her vein. (But that might be a bit heavy. I'm not sure.) Which sort of fits as to why she goes back to a Muggle neighbourhood in a Muggle car to visit her Muggle sister. Something like that.
Disclaimer: Uh yeah, yeah I'm JK Rowling.
corrupted by the simple sniff of riches blown
i know you have felt much more love than you've shown
and i'm on my knees and the water creeps to my chest
plant your hope with good seeds
don't cover yourself with thistle and weeds
rain down, rain down on me
- mumford & sons, thistle and weeds
She had nowhere else to go.
Their mother was dead, as was their father. She'd long since lost the illusion that parents were invincible, that they'd always be there to shield and protect. Both Alice and Marlene were away on missions for the Order; had she even known where they were stationed she probably wouldn't have turned to them at this time. They were trying to stay alive. She would feel absolutely mortified to bother someone like Dumbledore with her trivial relationship problems and even the notion of talking to Moody was laughable. Nor could she even turn to the other Marauders; James was probably with them at this very moment.
She had nowhere else to go.
That was the only reason why she found herself here. Nothing else and no-one else remained that she could share this with, and this was her last hope. So why was she sitting in her parents' old car just beyond the turning for Privet Drive, fisting her hair with tears rolling rhythmically down her face, and not going just a few yards further down the road? She told herself they'd be happy, if they were watching and, indeed, if there was such a place that they could watch from, that she was turning to her sister in this time of need. Attempting to walk the bridge that had been burned months ago (it was years really, though, wasn't it?).
She had nowhere else to go.
She didn't even want to be here. She wanted to be back, back at the safe house, back at Headquarters and back with her husband. She wanted to apologise, to talk it through as she always did, to reason it out. But his betrayal sprang to mind, what he had done, and she saw red again.
Betrayal.
Her lips twisted upwards in a mirthless smile. Betrayal was too strong a word for the latest rift that had appeared between them, though this didn't dull the pain he had caused. She lashed out at the steering wheel. Immediately shocks of pain shot up her arm and she rubbed her knuckles tenderly.
Summoning all the Gryffindor courage she possessed, she took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. Drizzle hit her face instantly and she wished she had thought to bring a scarf with her, or a coat, or something to stop the cold, but she wasn't altogether sure whether the ice was in the air or in her heart.
"No, darling, don't worry! I'm sure Yvonne's got some, or we can get some on the -"
The shrill voice carried all the way down the street.
"Nonsense, Petunia, I'm not paying a fortune for something we've already got!" There was the sound of heavy footsteps and he muttered, "Let me go and get it."
Still she drew nearer to the house. It would be easier to talk alone with Petunia without that lump of man she professed to love there.
"No, Vernon, just -" Petunia started, but it was met with silence. She began to huff, "Well, hurry up then, it's starting to rain," but abruptly stopped when she saw who was habiting the driveway with her. "Lily?"
"Hello, Tuney," Lily wavered. Her voice was weak from crying, and she suspected her face was blotchy. "I was - I was wondering if you would… help me."
Petunia stared back at her sister. There were a number of emotions in her expression, but first and foremost, it was disgust. "I'm sorry," she said, in a tone that implied no apology, "but we're actually rather busy. Going to see one of my best friends - you do have those, don't you? - for the day. Can't you ask one of them for help?"
The redhead's eyes narrowed. "Do you really think you'd be my first choice?" Lily retorted, but there was no fight in her voice. "I don't have anywhere else to go. You're my sister. James has -" Her voice broke. "We've had an argument, a big one, and I don't know what's going to happen with us anymore and people are dying and my friends are gone and Mum and Dad aren't here and you're the only one left and I need you, Tuney. Please. Please can you help me?"
It might have been the rain or it might have been tears, or maybe a mingling of the two, (she wasn't exactly sure) but it made the elder one's heart ache to see her sister looking so hopeless.
"Please?" Lily whispered.
Petunia opened her mouth, the words on the tip of her tongue, but of course, Lily thought bitterly, Vernon would choose that exact moment to reappear.
"I've got - what are you doing here?" He bellowed.
Lily raised her head, her voice infinitesimally stronger. "I came to see my sister."
"Well, she doesn't want to see the likes of you," Vernon sneered. "And we're actually rather busy, girl, so if you're quite -"
"I'm sorry, I was under the obvious misapprehension that Petunia could talk for herself," the witch said acidly. She turned to the blonde woman, a pleading look in her eyes.
Petunia faltered. Both her husband and her sister were looking at her, wanting the exact opposite of the other, and she was the only one who could realise such wishes. She opened her mouth yet again, and then closed it. She chewed the inside of her cheek. She unconsciously picked the piece of skin by her thumb nail.
Why was it such a difficult decision? If someone had given her the choice between Vernon and Lily just this morning, her answer would have been immediate and obvious. But even Petunia realised the stakes had changed.
Her husband and her future, or her sister and the past?
Petunia knew there would be no going back. She knew she would never be forgiven. It was the one decision that haunted her as she lay in bed the night after opening the door on that October morning to her previously unseen nephew.
"Lily, I'm sorry, but we really do have to be somewhere."
Lily choked in shock. "What? I turn up here, looking like this, and all you can say is 'I'm sorry?' I need you, Petunia, and you're turning me away? I'm begging you, I'm on my knees, and the water is - it's - it's creeping to my chest, you're the only one who can save me, and you're going to let me drown?" Her voice dropped and a twisted smile contorted the features of her face. "No. Of course you are. What do I mean to you? I'm nothing, am I? I'm a freak."
She stopped, fumbling to unclasp the locket around her neck. When she had, she dropped it in Petunia's palm. "Goodbye, Tuney."
As the younger turned away, Petunia knew. Through the blinding downpour that now drenched the three figures, she knew.
Later, when they had changed their clothes and dried their hair, when she had fixed her make-up and made her apologies to Yvonne for being late, Petunia stopped to look at the necklace that she had been given.
When she opened it with trembling fingers it revealed three people smiling up at her: an older woman whose face was lit up with laughter, and two girls: one with blonde hair, one with red, who were giggling at some inside joke.
Lily wasn't the only Evans woman to cry that day.
But it didn't matter to her, because Petunia had turned her away. That was her last hope, and now she had to go home and face James alone. She hadn't talked it through with anyone, least of all herself. Lily was a sensible sort of girl, yet she had acted irrationally; look where that had got her.
And at the end of it all (the whole episode had only lasted about fifteen minutes, though it felt like a lifetime), she found herself back in her car. It wouldn't start. Strangely, though, this didn't particularly bother her because - well - she had nowhere else to go.
Reviews are considerate drivers who slow down before they hit the puddle right by where you're walking along.
