A/N: I've only just started reading the Gone books, but I absolutely adore them. I just finished Hunger, but I'm not going to start Lies for a while for two reasons: 1) I won't have time :( 2) I want to try and write all this fanfiction on ideas I have now that are linked to the end of Hunger and nothing to do with Lies. Hope you enjoy and no spoilers please :)
Feel free to correct any grammar and punctuation errors. I haven't wrote in ages O_o
Chapter 1
Quinn slowly walked towards the front door, staring at it and dreading what he'd find. He wasn't sure what he expected, probably a gang of coyotes or something, but he didn't want to step through the door. He stomach ached as he edged closer, though not from hunger. The urge to flee was overwhelming and Quinn had to push himself to keep taking steps. The house he was going towards was his own, but he felt like he'd be intruding. He felt like it was a stranger's house.
Taking a deep breath, Quinn opened the door and timidly stepped into the place that was his house. It was exactly as he'd left it, though tidier maybe. The faint smell of fried fish lingered in the air and it suddenly occurred to him that someone might have been living there. Someone might have taken a liking to his home and made it their home. And now he was intruding.
Quinn turned on his heels then stopped as he heard the stairs creak. He froze, not daring to move a muscle. It was a stupid move as he could have easily been out the house, but he didn't dare let them know he was there. Though they'd soon realise when they spotted him. How stupid could he have been? And everyone in the town knew he had betrayed Sam once, though quite a while ago now. What if they shot him on the spot? Would his life end here?
"What are you doing here?" A nervous voice asked. Quinn immediately noted that it was a female. He wanted to turn around and take a glance at her, to see who she was and if she was holding a gun, but he didn't dare.
"This is-" He stopped to correct himself. "This was my house."
"Turn around."
Cautiously, Quinn slowly turned, not wanting to make sudden enough movements for her to shoot. As he turned to face her, he realised she wasn't holding a gun. As a matter of fact, she wasn't even armed. Quinn didn't recognise her at all. He hadn't seen her during the FAYZ until now and he certainly hadn't before. He would have remembered if he did as he'd never seen anyone like her before. She had pale skin that looked ghostly white in the morning light. Her face was framed with short, spiky dark-brown hair that wasn't perfectly straight, or perfectly tidy. Cuts and scars were spotted all across her face, hiding some of the freckles that covered the middle half. And her eyes. Quinn thought they were absolutely beautiful, even when they were ringed with dark circles. They were a shade of pale blue, paler than any other eyes he'd seen, not like he paid tons of attention to people's eyes.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. It's just-" she sighed- "Not many people live near here. I don't... I don't really like attention and I don't want to cause too much trouble."
She wasn't lying. She'd lied a lot in her life, but she wouldn't lie to Quinn. She recognised him and knew exactly who he was. And she felt awful for living in his house and sort of claiming it as her own. Unlike most people, she respected Quinn, admired him. Yeah, he'd made a few mistakes, betrayed his best friend, but he'd been there when it had counted. He'd saved his best friend, tried to defend the daycare and "committed the sin" of killing a living creature. When people were running out of food, and barely anyone was working, he'd thought of the idea of fishing and had caught lots for the people living in Perdido Beach. And no matter what had been happening with Zil, no matter how much he'd be called a traitor, he'd stuck by his friends, even if some of them were "freaks."
"Who are you?"
"My name is Ash Merry Even; don't even call me Ashley, that's not my name. I'm from here, but you wouldn't recognise me, or I doubt you would. My family moved away from here when I was eight and we came back six years later. We'd been here a day when it happened, the FAYZ, I mean."
Quinn nodded; he didn't know what else to do. He felt partially sorry for her, coming here as it had happened. And he wondered how she got her names; weren't they more boys names than girls?
"I don't want to cause trouble, I just want to help. I've been fishing for Albert, I've helped Mary in the daycare, I even went up to the power plant to get the manual for Jack, but I mainly stay out of people's ways. I hate what's happening. I hate it all."
"If you fish, then why do you look so starved?" Quinn meant to sound more casual and concerned, but the question came out harsh. He'd seen people thinner than her, more starved, but only one: Bulimic Mary. Other than Mary, she was the skinniest person he'd seen which was incredibly surprising as she claimed she went fishing.
"I want to help others more than myself." Ash whispered quietly, awkwardly playing with her side fringe. "I only need a small amount to keep me alive, then I give the rest to those who need it more."
Quinn nodded, then looked her up and down again. Her arms and legs were extremely thin. They, like her face, were covered in cuts, scars and bruises. He noticed she was wearing a pair of white, three quarter skinny jeans that were supposed to cling to her legs, but far from did that. Her feet were bare and smeared with dirt that was spotted with blood. Around her neck she wore two necklaces. One was a beaded necklace that reminded Quinn of the necklaces surfers wear in the movies. The other was a thick silver chain. And then Quinn noticed the shirt Ash was wearing. A familiar looking black t-shirt with a shiny square towards the bottom. It was several sizes too big, but she didn't seem to care. She also didn't seem to care that it wasn't her shirt; it was his.
When Ash noticed he was looking at the shirt, she quickly stammered, "Um, sorry. I know this is yours, but I, um, my shirt got torn and wrecked. I didn't have the guts to go back to my house, so I borrowed one of yours."
"You can keep it." Quinn said, then awkwardly added, "So since this is- Since this was my house, I'm going to get some, uh, stuff, dude."
And then he walked away, trying not to act as awkward as he felt. Ash watched him go, wondering if she could test her theory on him. Wondering if she should test her theory on him. She believed that anger controls lots of people, makes them do things they regret. Those with powers could trigger them with anger, but it wouldn't be the best way. They wouldn't be able to control it and could kill someone. Those without powers could murder people too. She wanted to help people like her mother had once helped her. Help them get past their anger and control it so they wouldn't do anything they'd regret.
Quinn reappeared in the room as she was thinking, carrying an armful of stuff. The majority of the things were in some way related to surfing apart from the thing that was on the top of the pile. It was a flick blade with a carved wooden handle.
"Sorry, Quinn." Ash whispered. Quinn stared at her in confusion, wondering why she was apologising. She took a deep breath, tears glittering in her beautiful eyes. She lifted one of her battered hands and, in one quick movement, knocked a golden photo frame from the side. Quinn knew what it was immediately: one of the only pictures of him and his mother. The frame fell in slow motion, but no matter how fast Quinn moved, he couldn't stop it. As the frame made contact with the floor, it made a loud crash. The glass smashed violently, spraying the floor with tiny shards.
Ash saw anger bubbling deep within Quinn as he dropped absolutely everything. Everything apart from the flick blade. In one quick movement he flicked it up and swung for Ash angrily. The action took her by great surprise, but she knew what anger could do to people. And she knew anger was controlling Quinn now. She attempted to dodge the blade quickly, but it slashed her cheek. The cut deeply sliced diagonally against the length of her left cheek. She wiped it with the back of her hand as she moved further backwards still.
"Get out!" Quinn shouted, dropping the blade. "And don't come back!"
Ash turned and ran. She charged out of Quinn's house and across the street. But she wasn't running out of fear; she was running because she was in a rush. In a rush to get to someone, Sam or Astrid maybe, and to let Quinn's anger bubble away.
/
Quinn regretted his actions immediately. Why had he gone for her with the blade? How stupid did someone have to be to do such an idiotic thing as that? And to think about it, what if she hadn't moved? What if he had slashed her neck open and killed her? He almost did. He'd almost became a murderer.
He slumped down to the floor, feeling greatly ashamed. She'd looked after the house and Quinn was greatful of that. As far as he was aware, she'd been completely honest to him. She seemed really nice and he'd done nothing to repay her. Nothing but hurt her. All over some stupid photograph from the past, one that seemed like someone else's memory. Ash didn't seem like she even wanted to smash the photo, but she had. Maybe that explained the apology, maybe it was for something else. Quinn didn't know, he no longer cared. He'd almost killed her and that was one of the greatest sins. He could never forgive himself and he would probably never be able to face her again.
/
Ash banged on the door, anxious to tell Sam or Astrid, not what had happened, but about her theory. And that she might be able to help. Sam opened the door, dark rings circling his eyes. His now short hair was in a mess and he looked absolutely exhausted.
"Sorry, Sam." Ash whispered. "You need to sleep, I'll come back later."
"No, Ash. You might as well stay; I won't be getting any more sleep. I can barely sleep in the black of the night, let alone the brightness of today."
Ash looked unsure, but the look didn't last long. "Okay, dude, well I have a theory to test. We may need the help of Lana though as it is dangerous and I will probably get some serious burns. I just need to try something. It will help lots of people if it works, if not, well no-one but me will be harmed."
Sam nodded, not fully understanding or processing what she'd said.
"Look, Sam, anger controls us. All of us. And we can't control it which means you cannot fully control your powers. Don't argue, okay, just listen."
"What happened to your face?" Sam asked, only just noticing the rapid flow of blood streaming down her cheek.
"Oh, that, it's nothing. Simply a demonstration of the anger within us and what it can do." Ash said indifferently, furiously wiping her face with the back of her hand.
"You need to see Lana."
"No, I'll get Dahra to treat it." Ash said firmly. "I'd prefer to let it heal over itself and become a scar. A constant reminder."
"Who did it?" Sam asked, his face full of seriousness. He needed to know who had done it to stop them from hurting others.
"It doesn't matter. They don't need trouble; it was my fault. As I was saying-"
"Who did it, Ash?"
"Don't get angry with me, Sam. I'm not going to tell you. You should know by now that-"
"You're impossibly stubborn." He sighed, finishing for her.
"Yeah, I guess so. Are you going to drop it, dude and let me continue speaking?"
Sam nodded, sighing and giving in. He knew that if he kept it up he would just get worn out more; Ash would never give in, she was just too stubborn.
"As I was saying, anger controls us which means it controls your powers. There's a more powerful place than anger, one where you can use your powers, control them and be better. And no, that place is not happiness as most people suspect. It's serenity. Peace. My mother-" Ash sighed, tears sparkling in her eyes-" She told me to think of something that helped me feel peace when I was angry. I learnt to be more at peace. The feeling now has gone, the memory left years ago and I have yet to find another place. But that doesn't mean I can't help you find yours. That doesn't mean I can't test my theory and see if it helps you with your powers. I want to help you, dude. It'll help me in some way and it will definitely benefit you, if it works that is. Meet me somewhere along Brace Road, okay?"
"But isn't that near-"
"Just trust me. We should probably wait until nightfall though. Oh, and bring Astrid."
/
Quinn sat in his fishing boat, trying to enjoy the peacefulness of the ocean. It had taken him hours to finally leave his house; he'd spent a large quantity of time cleaning everything up and lying around, feeling greatly ashamed of himself. Then he'd lost it. During that time, he kicked a table and broke it. It had been his mother's favourite coffee table and he felt really bad about breaking it. As he'd cleaned it up, he hadn't stopped crying.
The peacefulness of the ocean haunted him though and for once he wished for the rowdy trainers so he wouldn't have to listen to the voice of guilt inside his head. Maybe he should apologise, give her something useful. He could cook some fish on a fire and give it to her. But she wouldn't want it. He knew by the way she looked that she would probably want to give it to someone who needed it more. Quinn knew that Ash would much rather the prees or Mary have the cooked fish instead of herself.
He sighed, pulling his boat into the harbour.
"Fisherman Quinn." A voice said, making Quinn jump. He looked up and smiled: Lana and Patrick were stood before him.
His smile quickly faded though as he looked at Lana's face; it reminded him of slashing Ash's cheek. And the way the blood had spilled down her face. He had seen that day once again. The coyote. That child. His hesitation and stupidity. That poor child. In his mind's eye he saw it again, relived the moment once more. The memory unfolding itself before him made him feel sick and dizzy. The queasiness was so over-powering Quinn could no longer stand.
"What's wrong, Quinn?" Lana asked, her eyes darkening with concern.
"I almost killed someone this morning." He whispered. Tears filled his eyes and a lone tear slid down his cheek.
"How- What happened?"
"I..." Quinn looked down at his hands, feeling extremely ashamed of himself. "I got angry and lunged for her with a knife. I've never met her before but... But I would have... I would have killed her if she didn't have such quick reflexes."
"It's okay, Quinn. It wasn't your fault." Lana whispered, not sure if it was true. She didn't want him to feel guilty though; it was the last thing he needed. "If you've never seen her before she could have been one of Caine's spies. Or one of Zil's. Since him and the 'HC' were exiled, they've been building some kind of human army and trying to catch us when we're weak. He believes anyone left behind is a traitor and he will attempt to kill us all."
Quinn nodded, but wasn't quite sure. He wanted to forget it but-
"Hey, Quinn. If you're free from fishing duties do you want to come for dinner? I have some cabbage left over and we could fry some fish on a small fire or something."
Quinn smiled and nodded, not sure how to take the question. Was Lana asking him to help him take his mind off everything? Or on a date? Or just as a friend?
"I have to find some food for Patrick, so, um, see you later." With that, Lana smiled and jogged away, Patrick at her heels.
/
"So you want to make me angry and see if I'll lose it?" Sam asked again, trying to understand Ash's theory. He'd done his day of work and now, as dusk was swiftly approaching, he was listening to what Ash wanted him to do. "You want to see how powerful my powers are and if I can control them. Then you want to help me find some kind of peace and see the difference. See if I can get past the anger and control my powers."
Ash nodded. "And Astrid will film it. If we need Lana desperately, we'll find her."
Sam nodded, agreeing with Ash. He was too exhausted to find Lana now.
"It'll soon be dark. I expect now would be the right time to start." Astrid said, putting the camera in a place where everyone was in the shot with room to spare. She also made sure there was enough light for the camera to see everything. Astrid's camera was one of the few things that was still using batteries even though people were running out. Her camera didn't use batteries quickly and it was essential for her studying of 'mutant's. The only other thing that still used batteries was Little Pete's gameboy. People had once tried to force him to stop, but he'd gotten angry and most people had been afraid of him since. Afraid of what he could do, if he could do anything.
"Astrid, is LP occupied?"
Astrid nodded, cautiously edging away from him to see if he'd notice. Of course he wouldn't. Feeling frustrated, she walked towards Ash, remembering what they'd spoken about earlier. Ash was going to push Astrid, though only gently, and they both would exaggerate it so Sam would believe she got hurt. That would definitely trigger his anger.
"Ready?" Astrid breathed, bracing for the push. She barely felt it, but acted on it immediately. She staggered backwards like she was trying to keep her balance then fell to the floor, wincing with 'pain.' Green flames bursted from Sam's palms and flew straight at Ash. She dodged to the side slightly, but the flame caught her left arm, burning the skin incredibly fast. Ash dived to the floor and began rolling, desperately trying to put out the flames. The flames stopped coming out of Sam's burns as he heard her wincing, realising what he'd done. Immediately, he went to help her get rid of the flames.
When the green flames finally disappeared, everyone could see what damage had been caused to Ash's arm. The heat of the flames had melted her flesh into strange patterns, diving further into her skin. Some of them were so bad, they were almost pressed against her muscles, or possibly her bones. Huge blisters dotted the burns along with traces of blood dripping from her cheek. Ash had been to see Dahra earlier and had it cleaned up. Dahra had then told her to be careful to avoid reopening the wound. But she hadn't been all that careful as she needed to test her theory and, when rolling on the floor trying to extinguish the flames, she'd reopened the wound.
"Good." Ash winced. "But if Astrid tried to help me, would you have been able to direct the flames away? Would you have been able to do it in time?"
Sam flinched. "No." He whispered, ashamed.
"You will be able to. Or you should be able to if I help you find-" Ash stopped, taking several deep breaths as she tried to control the pain in her arm. The effort was exhausting. "Find something that can help you find peace. But first..." She stopped again, wincing, then trying to climb to her feet with using her arms. "First I need to find Lana. Where is she?"
/
Quinn sat on the picnic blanket, picking at the cooked fish and cabbage. He wanted to eat it, to show his gratitude to Lana, but he couldn't stop thinking about what he'd done. He'd almost become Quinn the murderer of the innocent because of one stupid moment.
"You cooked this well." Quinn said, trying to sound polite and greatful, though slipping some of it to Patrick as he did so. Patrick cocked his head in confusion, but ate it regardless.
Lana walked out onto the balcony carrying a bottle of wine. She'd decided a while ago that she didn't care about the diseases as she wouldn't live long enough to catch them and drank as much as she felt like. Drinking helped her forget about him, The Darkness.
"Do you want some?" She asked, pouring a glass for herself. When Quinn shook his head, she continued to say, "I never thanked you properly for helping me before. Thank you, Quinn."
He smiled half-heartedly, feeling like he didn't deserve thanks. But he didn't want to upset Lana so he smiled away so she thought he was listening. He wanted to stay here, to stay with her, but his mind was somewhere else.
Lana opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by rapid knocking on the door. The knocking stopped, then there was a weaker knock, maybe showing how exhausted this person was, but how much they needed Lana. Sighing, she rose to her feet and reluctantly made her way towards the door. As she opened it, she gasped. "Oh my god, what happened?"
Lana caught a girl as she collapsed due to the pain of her wound and exhaustion. As she fell, Quinn noticed the horrific burn covering the entire of her left arm. He'd never seen burns that horrible before, even from that kid that had been in the fire.
Lana couldn't hold her for long and lowered her to the ground. Quinn leapt to his feet to help and pick up the girl. As he got close, he faltered, seeing who it was. Ash. He froze, not wanting to move any closer though she had her eyes closed. He listening to her breathing, quickening and slowly as she tried to control the pain. And he noticed that the blood down her was not from her arm wound, but from her cheek which was once again bleeding furiously.
"Lay her down on the sofa." Lana instructed Quinn, clearing everything from it. He nodded, leaning down to scoop Ash up into his arms. As he did, he was taken aback by how extremely light she was. She winced, clearly feeling great pain in her arm, or maybe her cheek. Quinn bit his lip, trying not to cry or hurt her further, also not wanting her to know he was here. Slowly he carried her towards the sofa and gently placed her down.
Lana lowered herself to her knees and sat beside the sofa. She gently placed her palm onto Ash's burn, flinching slightly as she winced. The burn slowly began to heal, but it took more than an hour to heal fully. Sighing and feeling exhausted, Lana moved to one side, resting her head against one of the sofa's arms.
Ash opened her eyes, tracing her hand across her arm, expecting to feel pain or something that reminded her of the burns. There was nothing. Lana turned to face Ash, though her eyes were on the sofa, and asked. "Who did that? Or what did that?"
"Sam, but he was supposed to. I'm trying to teach him something." Ash said quickly. "Thank you, Lana. I'm sorry for the trouble."
Lana nodded, then lifted her head to look directly at Ash. Only then did she notice the blood pouring down her face. Ash wiped it with the back of her hand, but it only seemed to smear the blood across her face.
"What happened to your face?" Lana asked, moving her hand up to point at it. Quinn winced, feeling extremely guilty.
"It's nothing." Ash said indifferently, not sure whether she'd imagined a wince or whether it had been real. Either way, she didn't plan on telling anyone what anger had caused Quinn to do. "So don't heal it. And I'm sorry I interrupted your date or whatever."
Lana flinched, her hand making contact with the cut on Ash's cheek. Ash squeaked; it was clear she was having problems constantly trying to control the pain and Lana hadn't helped by touching it.
"Sorry, Ash. You took me by, um, surprise." Lana muttered. "I wouldn't exactly say it's a date unless-" she glanced at Quinn who was looking down and fiddling with his hands- "I'd say it's just two friends hanging out."
Ash nodded, not really understanding why she'd said unless, but dismissing it.
"Can I ask, Ash, what happened?"
"I didn't something I shouldn't have." Ash whispered. "I hurt someone. Not physically, but emotionally. I caused him anger. He couldn't control it and he lunger for me with a knife. I was quick, I avoided it, but it did caught my cheek as you can see."
"That's awful. The cut is so deep and looks painful."
"It was my fault."
"Who did it?" Lana asked, suddenly curious.
Ash stood up, dismissing the question; she had no intention of telling anyone it was Quinn. "Thank you for healing my arm. I may be back again soon, though not tonight. Sorry for having to bother you, but it's the only way to test this. I'll make it up, I just need to see if this will work."
She walked towards the door, glancing back to see if Lana was watching. Lana wasn't; she had decided to rest her head on the sofa. Ash turned to face Quinn who hadn't acknowledged that she was directly in front of him. "Thank you, Quinn." She whispered, loud enough for only him to hear. Gently, she placed her hand on his shoulder. "And I'm sorry."
He glanced up, briefly meeting her pale blue eyes. He felt a huge pang of guilt and something else, though he wasn't sure what. And then it disappeared as she nodded her head and left the room.
"I wonder who could have done that. They could have killed Ash." Lana whispered, lifting her head. She turned to look at Quinn and was surprised by what she saw. He had obviously taken her words to heart as he was staring at her, looking horrified, tears pouring down his face. "Quinn, why are you-?"
"I told you I almost killed someone."