Title: Addicted
Rating: T
Pairing: JS
Timeline: post-series; present days, Christmas Eve 2010
Summary: the office Christmas party… and something more
Disclaimer: I don't own WaT or its characters, I just borrowed them for a holiday fic
A/N : this fic is not exactly a happy fic. I'm sorry but this year I'm sick and a bit depressed. I can't feel the Christmas spirit as I would like. I hope you'll forgive me. :) The errors that you'll find in this fic are only mine. I just ended it and I don't want to make my betas/friends go through this story again today. They deserve a rest! Thanks a lot Shar! I added something... even my 'safe harbor' theory. ;) Forgive me Diane, but I wanted to post it before Christmas. Thank you so much for your time.
Enjoy your holidays!
Addicted
24th December 2010
FBI Headquarters, NY
It was just after 5pm, and everything was going smoothly. There hadn't been any new case and the paperwork had been dealt with that morning. The team was enjoying the office Christmas party. Elena made her appearance and Danny's eyes lit up. She joined her ex-team and everyone greeted her arrival. She had Rose, her three-months-old baby girl, tight against her chest.
"She's so cute!" Vivian exclaimed as Elena turned her little daughter to let her friends see her. Rose was peacefully sleeping.
"Where is Sophie?" Danny asked as he put a strand of Elena's hair behind her ear and caressed her neck.
"She is at the final rehearsal for tonight's play. We'll pick her up on the way home," she answered, closing her eyes as she savored Danny's sweet touch.
"Does she still have trouble with her costume? I tried to fix the wings again last night. I hope this time it'll work."
"She didn't call so far, so you probably did a good job." Elena smiled.
Martin noticed the sweet moment Danny and Elena were sharing and couldn't help himself. "Hey Viv, have you ever thought about Danny as a family man?"
"He hid it very well, but he has always been a tender heart," Vivian replied with a warm smile as she gently grabbed one of the baby's little hands.
Rose was awakening, probably because of all the people around her talking and touching her. Samantha hated when people whom she didn't even know were all over her son and she didn't want to be one of them with Danny and Elena's daughter. She would have many occasions to get to know her.
"Can I bring you something to eat or drink?" Samantha asked Elena.
"Yeah, thanks, a fruit juice would be perfect."
Sam nodded and started moving, when she felt Danny's hand grab her elbow.
"I'll come with you," Danny said.
"Sure, are you afraid I'll spice your wife's fruit juice?" Sam asked with a smirk.
They walked together toward the conference table arranged as a temporary counter. Sam poured a glass of fruit juice and asked Danny if he wanted any.
"Yes, please," Danny said. He stopped picking up the nibbles from the tray, turned his attention to his colleague and, with a serious voice, asked, "Sam, do you think Jack would be willing to be Rose's godfather?"
"I'm sure he'd love it. But why are you asking me that?" Samantha asked, a bit surprised.
"I just thought that you would be the best qualified person to know his feelings."
"Yeah, right, whatever. Let's go back or they'll start to wonder if we are up to something," Sam said as she mentally rolled her eyes. Yeah, she really knew his feelings, always had.
They chatted, mocked Danny and talked about their plans for the holidays until Elena's phone rang. Sophie was ready. The team members exchanged their gifts and wished each other a Merry Christmas. As Elena and Danny made their way out through the crowded office, Samantha walked to her desk and dropped there the gift her colleagues bought for her son. Samantha sighed and looked at the clock on the wall. Brian was late. As nice as the party was, she was longing to go home. She was tired. It had been a long week; they had worked three cases at the same time. She didn't remember if it had ever happened before. Martin and Danny went upstate to help the locals to find a rich old woman who had been reported missing by her niece; Vivian, Jack and Samantha were working on the disappearance of a young lawyer in New York when a new promising lead regarding an old case came up. Jack asked Samantha to follow the old case. She worked alone for two days and went home just for a change of clothes and a kiss to her son, but eventually she solved the case. She found the young woman in a little town in Jersey. The man she had fallen in love with turned to be an abusive boyfriend who didn't even let her leave the house.
Samantha looked around the office. Danny and Elena were still trying to exit the bullpen, but everyone they ran into wanted to see their little daughter, Vivian was cheerfully talking to a few colleagues and Martin was surrounded, as always, by all the single women of the building and also a few of the married ones. Sam let her eyes wander around until she saw Jack in his office. He wasn't alone. There was a woman with him and he was hugging her. Curiosity took the best of Samantha. Who was that woman? With the blinds down, she couldn't quite recognize her, but she looked familiar. Jack was smiling and led the mystery woman outside the office. It was Dr. Lisa Harris whom Jack was walking into the bullpen. Samantha hid her surprise. Jack's hand was set in the low of her back, gently pushing Dr. Harris through the crowded office. Lisa turned toward Jack, smiling at something he told her.
Dr. Lisa Harris was no longer a federal therapist. She left the job a few years before and got married to a surgeon. She moved to Connecticut and Samantha hadn't heard anything about her since then.
Samantha couldn't help looking at the couple. Jack and Lisa were talking as they sipped the eggnog they had just taken. A colleague, who stopped to talk with Jack, made them notice that they were just under the mistletoe. That meant a kiss was required. They smiled at each other and, a bit awkwardly, Jack leaned to kiss Lisa. It wasn't a passionate kiss but it was enough to make Samantha hold her breath. Why was Jack still so deeply under her skin? How come that every time he was with a woman, she had to feel like shit? She couldn't be jealous of something she had chosen to not have anymore.
"Mommy!" Finn's voice snapped Samantha out of her reverie.
"Hey, Sweetheart! How was the day? Did you enjoy the party?" she asked as she bent to hug her son. He locked his arms around her neck, a clear invite to be scooped up.
"There was Santa," Finn said as he yawned and whispered into his mom's ear, "Tired now." He leaned his head on his mother's shoulder as Sam tenderly caressed his hair.
Brian looked at the scene in silence until he was sure Finn was asleep. "Hi, Sam. He is exhausted. He ran and played all afternoon. I'm sorry we're late, but he wanted to take another photo with Santa."
"It's okay. Do you want something to drink? Please, serve yourself."
"No, thanks. I have to catch a flight at La Guardia in two hours and I still have to stop at home," Brian explained.
"Okay. Well, Merry Christmas then. Are you going to be back before the New Year?" Samantha asked as she came close to him.
"I'll be back by the beginning of January. I wrote here the phone number of where I'll stay, just in case," he said as he handed her a card. He hugged her and they kissed their greetings.
Samantha looked at Brian as he walked away through the crowded office and out. They were sharing custody of their son. They needed to make it official, but she was still unsure. Brian had proved to be a good father, but what if he decided to take Finn away with him? What if he moved to Europe? In her job she saw a lot of caring fathers kidnapping their kids and nothing could be done immediately because they had custody. She kept caressing her son's back. He was sound asleep. How could he sleep through everything was a mystery to her, but she wasn't going to complain. She collected her things from her desk and, after a quick goodbye to her colleagues, she walked toward the elevators. She stepped out of the elevator in the garage. As she walked toward the car, she thought how she could get in it without waking Finn up. As tired as he was, he would certainly start crying and she already felt a headache growing.
"Samantha, wait!" Jack's voice reached her as she almost arrived at her car. She stopped and turned toward him.
"Let me help you. I'll walk you to your car. Where is it?" Jack asked as he took the bags from her.
"Thanks. It's over there," she said as she nodded to the last car parked in that row.
When they reached the car, Sam gave Jack her son. She had to get the car seat from the trunk and set it in the back seat. When it was settled, Sam carefully strapped Finn to it and closed the car door.
"Thank you. He doesn't like to be woken up and I'm exhausted tonight."
"You're welcome. I think he took more than just his hair from you," Jack smiled.
Samantha ignored his comment. "You followed me downstairs; do you need anything? Aren't you keeping company with Dr. Harris?" she asked with a tired voice.
"Keeping company? What do you mean? She's helping me with Hanna and Kate," Jack explained. He was confused.
"I didn't know she was back in New York." Sam's skill to avoid a question was admirable.
"Me either. I met her, we talked and she offered her help. I was going to say no; therapy is not for me, but I remembered what you told me once—I couldn't screw up because I am everything Hanna has—and I swallowed my pride and told her yes."
"Good for you. Anyway you looked like a lot closer than any patient-doctor I've even seen. I saw you kissing her."
"Are you jealous?" Jack asked curious to know why she was so cold with him. It couldn't be that. Sam couldn't be jealous of him. But what did he have to lose asking?
"Me? Why should I?" she asked, faking surprise at his boldness.
"I've no idea. It was just…" Jack said as he was looking into her eyes to get a glimpse of what was on her mind. He didn't know what to think. She was definitely defensive.
"Is Hanna in New York?" Samantha asked, quickly changing subject.
"No, she and Kate will be here for New Years Eve."
"Well, Merry Christmas, Jack," Samantha said as she opened the car door.
"Wait. What are you doing for Christmas?" Jack boldly asked. Now or never.
"Nothing special. Danny invited us, but I really need some rest after this week. I'll probably visit some time during the day to give them my presents."
"Do you mind if I pass by on the way home? I have a present for Finn."
"Now? I'm really tired, Jack."
"What if you go home, tuck Finn in bed and have a shower with a few of those relaxing soaps you like so much? I'll stop at your favorite Chinese deli and buy something. Then we can eat together."
"Wouldn't Lisa be upset not seeing you anymore?"
"She's already gone. Please, Sam, I'd like to spend some time with you." Jack could see Sam's mind working. He knew that slight frown on her forehead. She was unsure.
"Okay, let me know when you're at the door," Samantha said as she took a seat in the car, turned the ignition on and left. She knew what it meant. She didn't want to think too much or she would regret her decision.
Jack stayed there looking at her car until she disappeared around the corner. There was a smile of challenge on his face.
#
Samantha had just taken a shower and was getting dressed when her cell phone rang. She took a quick look at the caller ID to be sure it was Jack and hurried to the door. She straightened out her clothes before unlocking the door. Jack was there with the takeouts in one hand and a bag in the other.
"Come in," Sam said as he let him in.
Jack went in and waited for Sam as she closed the door. "I'll take care of the food," he said as he handed her Finn's present.
Jack dropped the food on the counter and discarded his coat.
Sam put the wrapped box under the Christmas tree and took care of Jack's coat. She took a moment to look at Jack busy setting the table. He was at ease moving around her kitchen. He knew where she kept the corkscrew and much more.
"Any chance you'll consider retirement anytime soon? Because I'd really use a maid," Sam said smiling.
"Do you ask for references? I'm sure the Bureau would give me a glowing recommendation… just to get rid of me," he replied as he struggled with the carton boxes.
Samantha laughed. "Let me help you. Where are the chopsticks?" she asked as she rummaged into the bag.
"Do you want to starve me? I'll never be able to eat with those damn things!"
"No, I just want to mock you!" Sam said as she found what she was looking for and, happy as a kid, took a seat at the table.
They ate and chatted friendly. Jack had soon given up the chopsticks to Sam's disappointment. She had always loved looking at him as he struggled to understand how to properly use them.
"How many Christmas Eves did we spend together?" Sam asked as she put down her glass of wine. It was as nothing had changed. Ten years ago they were in a similar situation, sharing dinner and a bottle of wine in her apartment. Nothing happened that night, as it was for many other late nights spent together until something changed. After the affair they rarely ended a night at her apartment or outside New York without having a 'good time'.
"I don't know. Four? Five? More than we should, probably," Jack said as he poured another glass of wine.
Sam nodded. "Don't you feel like we're going in circles? We try, we fail, we mourn and… we relapse."
"You're talking as if it is an addiction."
"Isn't it?" Sam asked. She didn't want to be mean, it just was how things were between them. There was something that had always pulled them together, but, at the same time, it made impossible for them to make it work.
Jack finished his wine in one gulp and started to clean up. Why was he there? Why did he feel the need to spend that Christmas Eve with her? Sam's apartment was where he had always been able to pretend to be just a free man—no wife, no kids, no judgments. She was his 'safe harbor', where he could take a rest from his inner turmoil.
"Let me take care of this," Sam said as she took the dirty dishes from Jack. "Switch on the TV, there will be surely one of those Christmas movies, get comfy and keep the couch warm for me." Sam smiled. The deep thoughts would be for another time. She was going to enjoy what Santa had brought to her door.
"Okay," Jack said as he brushed her back with his arm, and then, moving to the living room, he added, "But hurry up, or you'll miss the beginning of 'It's A Wonderful Life'."
"What a loss!" Samantha rolled her eyes. His light touch already heating her body. Her body always reacted to Jack's touch.
"How romantic you are!"
"Yeah, and you like me this way," Sam said as she sat on the arm of the couch and let herself fall onto him.
"You're right," he said as he pulled her against his chest. Their eyes locked. He caressed her cheek and follow down to her lips with his thumb. She kissed it and Jack started playing with her lower lip. "Are you okay with this?" Jack asked, giving her the chance to stop it but seriously hoping she wouldn't.
She pressed her lips on his as an answer. Let's the game begin again.
Merry Christmas.