AN I know everyone who read Hitman the Hatti mg said it was terrible, but I wrote it about ten years ago! So I derided to write a new story so show people how I improved! I also now there wasn't been a Manhunt game in years so everyone forgot about it bit I saw a guy called the Lotti play it so I did research on it and no I have a fanatic for it! Maye I can get other people intersected in it again!
Manhunt: The Manhandling: Of Satan!
Chapter 1
Somewhere in a a trailer pack in Arizona there was a guy called Jimmy Cards. He dint like taking to anyone and told everyone to just leave him alone except for his neighbor Coleman Fort the Drug Dealer.
But the real reason was he wasn't his name. He was really James Earl Cash the Man-hunter. After he killed Starkweather James Earl Cash went on the lam so the Government couldn't kill him amend everyone in Arizona hates the government. He didn't have any freshen left ether because the Journalist was an insane asylum cause everyone who watched TV thought James Earl Cash was dead and thought she was seeing a ghost.
So most of the time James Earl Cash just moped along in his trailer drugging himself to steel until one night he heard a voice going "BOO!" "Hey wake up James Earl Cash this is a haunting wake up!"
But whee James Earl Cash did wake up he saw a really fat old ugly ghost he cold never forget. His ugly Hawaii an shirt told the world he didn't care about society and his sunglasses wear symbols of the fat that he was blind to the misery he cased. IT was Starkweather the Evil Snuff Director! Exempt it was just his ghost.
Starkweather's goth grinned and drooled blood. "You fought it was overt James Earl Cash? Just because you killed me? But I have so much more films in me! My ghost camera is relay ad all I need now is my star!" That's you Boy!
Then Starkweather pointed a Hit Clips player James Earl Cash had lying around and he disappeared and the Hit Clips player started hoovering and glowing. James Earl Cash new that men we was using it as an earpiece but he didn't want to deal with Starkweather anymore so he just went back to bed. After a few hours thought Starkweather started banging the earpiece up and down o then table to wake him up so James Earl Cash said "Oh for fuck's sake and put it on." "Starkweather I thought you figurine out that I was done with you when I gut open your cuts!"
Look I'm rosy about what happened in the first game. "Said Starkweather." Tell you what I'm paying you in advice! "Then Starkweather's accouter came buy in his Limo because Starkweather had possessed him and he threw a big bag on money through James Earl Cash's trailer window."
James Earl Cash counted the money really fast and hen said. "Okay thanks this pays for the first 24 scenes. Now fuck off." Ten he went back to bed.
"I knew you would say that James Earl Conceded! But I can't let you quit! Thais Why I called in the Nazi Storekeepers to get you!"
Ten a sticky grenade flew in through the window so James Earl Cash hid under his bed as it expulsion!
James Earl Cash hid under the deb until he heard a bunch of people yelling outside and he left to go look around. Outside his door was a bunch of land mines and bear traps and someone had pit up a big poster of Hitler that said in German "If you can't read this I'm gonna fucking kill you." So James Earl Cash broke his bathroom window, took a glass shard, and went out to check on Coleman.
Coleman s' trailer was just guarded by one Storm-trooper outside so James Earl Cash walked behind him and did the hasty glass execution i.e. He stabbed him in the neck. It worked but Starkweather went "BORING! James Earl Cash that execution is like years old! Can you do something new?"
James Earl Cash didn't respect Starkweather but he wasted to try something new anyway. So he went in to the trailer to find Coleman but out of nowhere a Nazi Storm-trooper came and hit him with a basketball bar. "HA HA! We will conquer your trailer for our new living room!" He said.
James Earl Cash ran out and found Coleman's baseball bat and hid in the trailer's shadow before the Storm-trooper found him. Ten after the storeroom gave up looming for him James Earl Cash walked up behind him, thought about what he was going to do for a while, and then did a new Brutal baseball bat execution. i.e. He hit the guy twice in the chest so hard his ribs were conked into his lings.
"BEAUTIFUL! James Earl Cash can I have your autograph after I'm done jerking off? I promise Ill wash my hands!" Said Starkweather because he was a psycho perv who ought murder was sexy. Anyway James Earl Cash walked into the trailer and united Coleman because they tied him up.
"Thanks Buddy Jimmy! Said Coleman! Can you help me escape now? I can take you to mt stash of Feynman so you can kill all the rest OD the Nazis!"
But James Earl Cash didn't have item for looking for secrets. "I DON"T have time for your escort missing!" He said. Then he hit Coleman with the baseball bat so he got knocked down and looked dead do no one would bother him.
After he used Coleman's' painkillers James Earl Cash went to a big pit where there were a couple Stroboscopes walling around wish pickaxes. "Yeah!" One of them said. "Once we find the interiors of this Trailer park well make it our contravention camp and make them all work in our mines. How deer to you think well have to go to find uranium?"
When neither were looking James Earl Cash replaced his baseball bat with a pickax then he hit the wall of Coleman's trailer until they finally came to investigate. James Earl Cash waited until they broke up them he waled up behind one and did a gruesome Pickaxed Execution i.e. swung it right into the guy's head. Since he pickax gave him brain damage he didn't realize what happened so he freaked out and his body ran away and his head got ripped off.
The other guy went to Coleman's backyard so James Earl Cash waited until he walked up to the hose and did an environmental execution i.e. he sprayed tea hose on the ground so the guy slipped and fell over. Then he sprayed the ground near his head and amide a puddle the Storm-trooper downed in. Then James Earl Cash swapped his pick-axe for a baseball bat again so he already had a head and didn't need it anymore.
Next James Earl Cash found a couple of Nazi Storm-troopers trying to stat a bunch of cars all at once to kill everyone with poison. But now that he had a head he was ready. James Earl Cash threw the head in font of a car and the Storm-troopers lookout it and freaked out. "How does this happen? Our Further told us we were supermen!" That was when James Earl Cash picked up a brick panda lighter and did the car environmental execution i.e. he put the brick on the gas pedal like in Father Ted the opened the gas tank and put the lighter in and the car started and ran into the Storm-troopers really fast and dragged them off and exploded later.
Then James Earl Cash the saw Nazi Command Trailer witch was actually a bunch of trailers they put together in a Nazi sign. Anyway they guys James Earl Cash just killed both had shotguns and so did everyone else so James Earl Cash said fuck it and just banged his shotgun on a wall and waited around a corner and shot everyone in the head when they came by. Once everyone outside was dead James Earl Cash went inside and beat their leader's bodyguard ot death with his baseball bat.
"You could've had a great career making torture videos for the CIA! You dot live up to you're full potential James Earl Cash! Do you want a mentors-hip program from me?" Said Starkweather.
Than James Earl Cash walked into the office of the Nazi Showstopper leader, who looked like on of them but he had a officer cap instance of a helmet. The Leader was at fist confidence as James Earl Cash walked to him because he was always told other people were inform and stupid. Then James Earl Cash got close and the Leader cold see the baseball bat in his hands and the disengaged look in his eye and he got so scared he put a paper bag over his head and fell on the desk pretending or be dead.
James Earl Cash, howsoever, wasn't tricked by his cunning trick. He took a sharper from his deck and drew a dick on the bag where his face should be and took a selfie with him. Then he ripped the bag of with force. "Dot pretend you know more about about bag death than me! You can breath through wood fiber! that's Why my baseball bat is so aerodynamic!"
"Then James Earl Cash stole his Luger for his blue slot so he couldn't fight back and said That's just one thing I want to know! Why did you come to my trailer park?"
"I don't aster you stupid liberal!" So James Earl Cash his him in the balls. And the leader was still pretending to be a tough guy so he said. "I won't tell you we came here to take over Charles Forts' meth lab so we can pit samples in our fundraising letters so people freak out and give us more money!"
"AMD what were you going to do with that money?"
"That's based on needed to know!" Then James Earl Cash poked him in the eye. "And you font need to know we were going to by an editing computer so we can make a move out of the Skint scenes were we cut out all the bits where they tried to kill you! Then wed send it to racists to make them think you're homing to get them and they'll give us even more money!"
"I NEW IT!" Said James Earl Cash before he ripped off his Armour to revel his white t-shirt. "There was a reason I wasn't sacred of you! And its cause your not a real Nazi! See! You're not wearing a brown shirt?"
"Sure I am! I'm Roy Sanctimonious-St. Smith and I'm the number on Racist Nationalist on Twitter! You need to follow me before the SAWS shut en down! James Earl Cash why are you waking behind me! Hey! James Earl Cash do you want yo buy some Nazi Gold in case the economy UGH!"
The reason he got interrupted was James Earl Cash was so indigent he decided to do a Gruesome Baseball bat execution on him i.e. he coked him with the bat to make him lightheaded so when he hit him with the bat his head wooed explode. James But Earl Cash was so angry he did it wrong and the baseball bat exploded instead, so the leaders head was filled with bleeding splinters like a reverse strawberry. Bleeding to death the leader got up slow with determination in his evil eyes and tried and tried to do one last Hitler salute, but he didn't have the energy so instead he just flipped off James Earl Crash before he hit the ground dated.
"STARKWEATHER!" said James Earl Cash. "None of tees were real Nazis! They were all just alt-right losers! You wasted mu time!"
And as the earpiece tuned itself of Starkweather's ghost returned pouting. "Well SORRY James Earl Crybaby! Do you know how hard it is to get Real Nazis together?"
"What the fuck are you talking about Starkweather! Your in hell! You can find all the Nazis you want!" (AN Starkweather is in hell because among other things he sold his sol to Satan so he cold make a living making Snuff films. Nobody told James Earl Cash about this but it wasn't really hard for him to guess.)