Author: ZRBxSTITCHES
Summary: Dante has given her pets a day off from beating on Ed. What kind of random insanity awaits them? Extreme random stuff here people...
Disclaimer: I do not own FMA...If I did, I would be bathing naked in a tub full of money!
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Doom's Day Fever
There, on the green fields of...someplace, the homuculi lay on the grass, bored.
"When Dante said we would have a vacation, I thought she would make it chaotic like she always does." Envy told.
"That wouldn't be much of a vacation, now would it." Lust answered. "Honestly, use that palm tree of a head of yours."
"What did you say!" Envy looked at Lust.
"Get a crew cut!" Lust retaliated.
The arguing stopped, and Envy and Lust began to make-out,
passionately. And a sorrowful Gluttony just watched.
"Lust must be having her period." Greed told Sloth.
Lust stabbed Greed with one of her nails.
"Stop that." Greed brushed off.
"Hey, Greed, let's go explore that cave." Sloth suggested.
"What cave?" Greed asked.
At that point, a huge cave appeared out from the ground.
Greed, Sloth, and Wrath walked into the cave. While walking in the cave, Sloth heard a strange noise.
"Wait! Do here that. It sound like moaning..." She told.
"I don't here anything. I guess you have been getting on in your years. I have noticed your body starting to sag"
Greed told her.
"AHH! Ass-hole! Come on Wrath, cover your virgin ears"
Sloth told Wrath.
Wrath did so. He saw Sloth yell at Greed and then Greed pick up a chair he got from somewhere and hit Soth with it. Sloth laid on the ground, cold.
"NO! This is traumitizing me!" Wrath yelled, then ran out.
"I wonder what's his problem?" Greed wondered.
"I'm back!" Sloth said cheerfully.
"Oh good. Let's go!" Greed said and walked deeper in with Sloth.
Outside...
Wrath ran out, only to see Lust and Envy still making-out.
This only made him cry more. He ran in the direction of Central. He eventually arrived, and he found himself in a dark alley. He did find a door. As he opened it, blinding lights block his vision.
"Welcome, everyone, to the Oprah Winfrey Show, coming live right at ya from Central." Oprah said.
Wrath found an empty seat and sat down to watch the show. He was hoping there would be cartoons.
"Now, everyone, Oprah has heard your calls and granted all of your wishes. Everyone get's new cars." She said. It was then that she noticed the out-of-place Wrath.
She walked up to him and asked "Little boy, what's your wish?"
"Uh..well...I wish for Greed to stop hurting mommy." He said hoping for it to come true.
"Who is Greed?" Oprah asked.
"My step-daddy!" Wrath explained.
"AHHH! Get this child to a psycologist!" Oprah responded.
"Hey, I thought you were gonna grant my wish? Are you a real fairy?" Wrath asked with anger.
"Get 911!" Oprah ignored.
Wrath used alchemy to turn his arm into a knife. He pounced on Oprah and stabbed her. Everyone ran out of the building to escape the insane Wrath. But eventually, men in white over-powered poor Wrath and took to a psycho hospital.
Back at the cave...
Sloth and Greed were still walking along the cave.
"I still here that moaning." Sloth told Greed.
Just then a ghost popped out of the corner.
"AHH! A vampire!" Greed shouted.
"SHUT UP, GREED! It's obviously a ghost." Sloth said with confidence.
"Shut YOUR mouth, woman. I knew you were getting on in years,
but now you're losing your sight. Soon you'll need a cane"
Greed told her.
Sloth smacked him so hard, it left a lump the same size as Al.
"Okay! I know how we'll be able to tell if it is a ghost"
Greed said.
"Okay. How?" Sloth asked.
"We'll throw water on it." Greed answered.
"And how will that help?" Sloth asked again.
"Because, if ghosts get wet they turn into princesses"
Greed answered again.
"Oh...you are so right. You're so smart. It must be all that grass you eat." Sloth said actually buying it.
The big ghost then ate Greed. Taking Greed's suggestion,
Sloth shot water at the big ghost.
At that moment, Ghost burst into smoke and out came Gluttony wearing a dress.
"Gluttony...you just ate Greed." Sloth said in shock.
"...scrumptious..." Gluttony replied.
Back outside...
Lust and Envy were still all over eachother.
Now at Central...
"Well, doctor, I've never been that much of a good son. I pop pills and I chase sheep." Wrath told him.
"And how does that make you feel?" Psycologist asked.
"Well...sad." Wrath answered.
"And how does that make you feel?" Psycologist asked.
"I just told you." Wrath said.
"And how does that make you feel?" Psycologist asked.
"Shut up!" Wrath yelled.
Back in the cave...
Sloth and Gluttony walked in a room with a picture of a cactus. The cactus exploded and the needles killed Gluttony.
They just stayed in Sloth's liquid body.
Sloth exited the cave...
When she walked out into the sun, Lust and Envy saw her, and ran to give her a hug. When they hugged her, the needles killed Lust and Envy.
"Oh no! Everyone's dead. Oh well." Sloth said and now head for Antartica.
Now back at Central...
"And how does that make you feel?" Psycologist asked.
"SHUT THE HELL UP! I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL FING KILL YOU"
Wrath shouted.
"And how does that make you feel?" Psycologist asked.
Just then a doctor walked in with holy water and poured it on Wrath.
"AHH! IT BURNS!" He screamed.
They then put Wrath in a staight jacket and chucked him in a white room fill with stuffed animals and sheep.
"Wee!" He cheered, now happy.
The next day...
"Where the hell are my homunculi!" Dante asked.
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THE END
Lately, more and more people have been reviewing, and that makes my day. I'm glad you all like my random works of arts.
These contributions have been made by Juicy-Juice and to viewers like you. Thank you.
Ed: All my enemies are gone.
Al: It must be luck.
Ed: Well good things happen to good people.
STITCHES: Or I can just make them happen.
Ed: Who the hell are you!
STITCHES: Just call me god!
Dante: Please review!
Ed, Al, STITCHES: AHH!