Here is a one shot based on Emily's last episode on Criminal Minds. She will have her date with Hotch and will she decide to stay?
I have pulled memories and moments from different episodes. I hope you all enjoy!
Happy Reading!
"It's a date." Emily said, before watching the man she had grown to adore walk straight into another woman's arms. The torment was endless and it was her own insecurities that distanced her from the rest of the team and the job she used to love.
The flame of passion that had once burned so brightly had been smothered out. Now like a feather in the wind she drifted, watching the world around her pass by like an old Hollywood film that she wasn't a part of. Emily was disconnected, fading into the background.
Many days she forced a smile and like Hotch had told her she was overcompensating. The pills she took to make her happy only depressed her more, it was admission that she needed help and that was totally against her character.
Even lying to her therapist was something she never would have done before the Doyle incident. Emily loathed being dishonest like the time she told the woman across the street they were looking for toxic mold. It was a lie but for good reason and Rossi was right to "Emily" her.
Another thought that haunted her was watching the man who led their team, who preached honesty with his own behavior; lie to a woman on her death bed, telling her that her husband and son were waiting for her. Was it the right thing to do or should he have said nothing at all? Emily distinctly remembers the sting of tears flooding her eyes, not just for the deep sadness of the situation but for the softness of Hotch's heart. He braved emotional exposure in front of someone he hardly knew and she would never forget that. Would he have done the same thing if Morgan had been standing there or did he feel comfortable around me?
Through an open door she watched as Hotch, Beth and Jack were the image of a happy family, something she had always wanted. That dream too, seemed to be passing by with no luck of existing.
There was something else that bothered her, roots. That stupid house had a cracked foundation like her own soul. To start new she couldn't begin with something that was already broken, it was like a bad omen destined to pull her into a bottomless pit she couldn't escape.
Emily felt she was sinking and there was no one to pull her out. Yes her team had been so receiving when she returned, disregarding Reid's initial reaction and yet could she blame him. The whole thing was a lie in itself. Honesty and trust was something that had to be rebuilt.
With a sigh she listened to her heels click across the floor to a fellowship of friends that somehow didn't seem to include her, but that thought possessed only her mind and not those of her team mates.
The evening went off without a hitch. As she left to go home, part of her felt empty. She had decided to leave all these wonderful people and again she would abandon them, this time forcing them to disconnect with her forever. The thought did seem extreme but Emily couldn't help how she felt, she needed a change, away from all the history that haunted her. Parts of it had been good and there were many heartwarming and unforgettable moments but right now none of that outweighed the bad.
The following morning came with a renewed sadness about her decision. Am I just running away? Will I keep running and how far will it go?
At the BAU, Emily was burdened with an immense amount of dread as she walked towards Hotch's office. She didn't know what to say or rather she didn't know how to say it and needless to say the weather was fitting for the occasion.
The building was abandoned on this dreary Sunday morning, all except for a single light casting its rays into the grayness of the bullpen. There was little light coming from the windows, blurred with pelting rain that looked out into the city. Stopping for a moment she realized her outlook on life as she knew it wasn't so different, only it was blurred by emotions and thoughts she couldn't even begin to sort through or try to understand.
Emily walked past her desk and briefly felt a sense of excitement she used to have, as if for a moment she stepped back in time, but it quickly faded when she saw Hotch had walked up to his office window and was looking out at her. When their eyes met he made the way to his open door. "Good morning." He said with a smile absent of stoic expression.
Emily tilted her head sideways and kind of smirked. Again she sees this side of him with all barriers down, standing in jeans and a black North Face zip up. Why me? Why am I so privileged to see this? Maybe I'm not and I'm just reading too much into it.
"What?" He asked, barely shrugging his shoulders.
With a genuine smile she says, "Who are you and what have you done with Hotch?"
Hotch again bearing a smile says, "He's too stuck up. Me on the other hand I have donuts and coffee."
"But…" Emily now felt sad knowing the news she was going to deliver would not be good and the dreaded feelings clearly showed on her face and was imminently displayed in her now drooped, bodily pose.
Hotch never faltered from his happy, uncharacteristic demeanor, ignoring her own disposition, "You said this was a date and a date usually includes food and drinks. Considering the time of day I thought it was appropriate."
With sad eyes and barely a smile she said, "Who could turn down donuts and coffee." She walked up the stairs into his doorway. Hotch stepped aside to let her pass and she felt his hand brush the small of her back. His touch electrified her, sending goose bumps down her arms, raising the hairs ever so slightly. That felt so protective and comforting…oh come on Emily, don't kid yourself he was just being nice. Emily heard Hotch close the door behind her, I wonder why he did that? Privacy maybe, but privacy from who? No one is here.
Emily took a seat in front of his desk and could smell the sweetness of the donuts mixed with the warming aroma of the coffee. She closed her eyes magnifying those senses.
"Smell good?" Hotch asked, taking a seat in his chair.
Emily opened her eyes and grabbed a donut, "You're a saint."
"A saint is a long way from someone who doesn't trust women as much as he trusts men." He joked.
Emily didn't quite catch the joke and said, "Really you took that personally. I thought considering the situation there was some type of consensus…"
Hotch held up his hand, "I'm kidding."
"Oh." Emily said feeling embarrassed. She took a bite of donut to keep her mouth shut. It could only get worse from here.
Hotch took a sip of his coffee, "How have you been doing?"
Emily couldn't stand it any longer and blurted, "Really what is this?" She watched as Hotch's face went serious.
Hotch replied, "Honestly, I had a feeling what you were going to say would make my assumptions a reality and that you would be leaving." He took a deep breath, "I just want to talk first, as friends and not on a professional level." Hotch paused, "I thought donuts and coffee would break the ice but I see that might have been a bad idea."
Emily finished swallowing her donut and said, "No, it's a great idea, in fact if you don't start eating I might just have to eat all of them…" Emily picked up a donut and handed it to him, "…friend." She was relieved when she saw professional Hotch leave and friendly Hotch come back.
"So last night Morgan was talking about the crack in your foundation."
Emily took a sip of coffee, "Yeah, my thing is, how can you put down roots when the ground is already unstable?"
"You mean figuratively." Hotch said with a mouth full of donut.
Damn he's good, She wasn't sure how to respond next and felt herself getting nervous. Fortunately for her Hotch broke the silence.
"I get it." He said casually, not wanting to make the conversation too serious.
Emily felt at ease, they were just having a conversation. It wasn't an interrogation.
"I don't blame you. You can't feel like you are starting fresh with something that is broken."
"My point exactly. Glad to know somebody understands."
"More than you know." Hotch replied. He glanced at his empty couch and laughed. At all costs he wanted to avoid Emily's news and so he recollected a memory, "I remember coming back from a case to find you sitting on my couch, in the dark, waiting for me."
Emily cringed, "That makes it sound creepy when you say it out loud."
"It was and honestly you almost made me jump. I was surprised needless to say."
"Ha, I made the great Aaron Hotchner jump. That has to go in a record book somewhere."
"You got one thing wrong."
"What's that?" Emily asked.
"I'm not so great."
"You just don't see it." Emily tried to convince him.
Hotch felt humbled and slightly embarrassed. He couldn't bear the thoughts of this woman leaving and spontaneously without unconscious effort said, "I don't want you to leave."
Emily sat down her coffee, "Friendly conversation is over, huh?"
"I'm hoping it just started and that I can convince you to stay."
Emily shows her tell and says, "But I don't know how to fix everything that is messed up. I've thought and thought about how to tell you but now the words seem to be non-existent" She felt defeated.
"Then maybe things aren't as bad as they seem." Hotch implied.
Feeling comfortable in the conversation Emily opened up and talked to Hotch as a friend, "You should live with me." Emily huffed.
"Maybe I should or at least install a camera so I could tell you how to fix what is wrong." Hotch nearly laughed, "Now I sound creepy."
Emily sadly smiled, "It wouldn't do you any good. I've become an expert at lying so I'd probably just put on a false appearance and overcompensate."
Just then Hotch's cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and rolled his eyes, "Sorry I thought I turned it off."
"Another case?" Emily asked with disappointment. She didn't want their conversation to end.
"No." He said with dismay.
"Then what annoyed you about it?" Emily immediately reprimanded herself, "Sorry I shouldn't have asked."
"It's okay." Hotch assured her. "You're not the only one who can put on a false appearance."
"Oh." Emily knew he was talking about Beth and felt hopeful. "You want to talk about it?" She asked almost timidly.
"It's just not going to work out." Hotch huffed.
That was a very manly answer, "Oh." Emily said again, almost cheerful. She could have smacked herself. Be more considerate.
"Why did you sound happy just then, and don't try to deny it, I'm a profiler remember?" Hotch asked.
"No reason." Emily stated, he's on to me.
"Would there be a reason if I personally told you I wanted you to stay?" There you said it, now here comes the rejection.
Emily avoided the question, "My plane leaves in two weeks."
"Where to?" Hotch asked, this time with a stoic Hotch face. Avoidance, that's just like her.
"London. I've been offered a job to run the London Interpol Office." Emily partially sounded enthusiastic while almost slightly disappointed.
There is no way she is going to turn that down. Not unless you give her a reason. For once just say how you feel, "I'm giving you a reason to stay, if you'll think about it?" Hotch was quiet a moment and finished with, "You don't have to give me an answer now, just promise you'll think on it, not just for me but for the whole team."
"Deal." Emily said. After a moment she stared at the uneaten donut in front of her, "Okay let's finish these donuts and our friendly conversation we started, agreed?"
"Agreed." Hotch said with a smile grabbing another donut.
Since their Sunday breakfast, two weeks had passed with little word from Emily. Hotch had waited her out and at 8:00pm on Sunday night he decided her decision to leave was permanent and the thoughts of saying goodbye were too painful for her. Then he realized if she did avoid saying goodbye she too felt something, but then why not stay? The whole idea was too much for him to think about, Emily was gone and that was the end of it. All the thoughts of her and him were making Hotch restless. He found himself unable to sit in his house, cooped up, while Emily was flying miles overhead, bound for freedom from her past.
To clear his head he made his way to the Lincoln Memorial through the maze of sidewalks and freshly cut grass. Something about the nighttime made the stone structures and ambiance of the memorialized history, hauntingly realistic, possessing the spirits of those from the past. Hotch didn't feel alone as a comfort consumed him and if but for a moment he felt at peace, knowing Emily was happy and finally he was able to smile.
Time passed slowly as he made his way to the water's edge that reflected Washington's monument. He wasn't sure how long he stood there, but when a cool breeze swept past him and thunder boomed overhead he decided it was time to leave. Turning he made slow tracks, paralleling the concrete pool on his right, hands in pockets. Focused on the water, he was surprised when he heard footsteps ahead of him. He stopped to look up, it was Emily. She hadn't yet noticed him and Hotch watched as she stopped and stood at the edge of the pool. "You decided to stay?" He asked only feet away, partly hidden by the darkness looming overhead.
Lightening cracked and Emily's head shot up less than a second after Hotch spoke.
"Or did your flight get delayed and this is how you are saying goodbye?" Hotch asked since she didn't answer his first question.
Emily felt tears sting her eyes as it started to rain. "I won't be saying goodbye." Emily paused then continued, "As long as I still have reason to stay."
The rain started to pour, possessing them as only blurred figures, forcing them to take a few steps closer, stopping only when they could catch one another's gaze. Hotch was captivated by her breathtaking appearance as the rain started to curl her hair and cascade heavy drops along her bare chest, before disappearing into her blouse that had begun to cling to her form from the drenching rain. Her eyes glazed over with tears and her tinted lips beckoned him. As a whole she was longing for him and silently so, Hotch saw than desperation in her eyes. "You are so beautiful."
The tears started to flow, mixing with the drops that trailed quickly down her cheeks. Without a moment's hesitation Hotch took one step, passionately connecting with her lips, tenderly cupping her jawline as wet, raven tendrils fell between his fingers.
Slowly they pulled apart, but only far enough to draw the slightest of breaths. Hotch wrapped his other arm around her waist, pulling her against his body as Emily's head fell to his shoulder, leaving one of her hands resting on his chest and the other wrapped around to the middle of his back.
"You feel so good." She told him nuzzling her head in his shoulder.
"I'm glad you stayed."
Emily looked up into his dark eyes and whispered with heavy emotion, "I'll never leave again."
I hope ya'll enjoyed! If you have a comment good or bad I'd love to hear it!