This will be the only time I will say this.

Do not trust a strange baby with money

And I don't own Naruto SOB

The Holy Mission

Hidan was in the middle of a sacrifice when he felt a pulse. He was surprised by it, almost enough to come out of the trance he falls into when he performs the sacrificial ritual. After the pulse petered out, there was an odd emptyness that could only mean one thing: somewhere, a worshiper of Jashin had been killed. This was a rare occurrence, mainly because Jashinism was a dying religion, but also because only truly strong people were accepted. They all had been granted amazing powers, each one different. Some could levitate objects, create inescapeable illusions, or transformation far more complex than a simple jutsu. Hidan had been extremely blessed when his god had granted him immortality.

All Jashinists were connected, they could all feel when a sacrificial ritual had been completed. They all shared a greusome thrill in the final moment, along with their bloodthirsty god. When one was about to be inducted (an event that had not taken place in over half a century) all the worshipers were bound to gather in one place, to test the recruit. Once the induction was completed, the new member was granted a gift, and his mind was joined with the net.

This particular Jashinist that had been killed had been a good acquaintance (the word friend was too strong) of Hidan's. Hidan had asked for Jashin's gift for him when he was just a boy. That was over fifty years ago, and the man would be quite old now. But Hidan was puzzled. Jashin had given the man a particulary strong gift; even old he shouldn't have been defeated. Hidan whispered an extra prayer for him, then went back to sacrificing the rest of the villagers Kakuzu had let him at.

As he basked in the pleasure of killing for his god, he wondered how the other Jashinist could have met his end. He had been given the gift of restoration, he coud heal any wound or other such injury in a second. Only something that could kill on impact would have sent him into Jashin's arms. Hidan shrugged, and dismissed the line of thought. He wanted to get back to the sacrifice. Then, just as he was about to finish his ritual, a voice inside his mind startled and humbled him. The holy and wonderful voice of his god, Jashin.

"Loyal servant, I have a task for you"

It was a testament to Hidan's self control to not completely lose it and start shrieking about his god. He calmed himself down, and sent his reply back.

"Anything my lord." Hidan could almost feel the satisfaction from the other participant in this mental conversation. Once again, the commanding, and slightly sadistic voice filled his mind.

"As you have felt, recently, many of our order have been killed, and swept into my arms," Hidan had noticed that there had been quite a few deaths recently, but hadnt thought much about it. Jashin continued.

"I have learned from their memories that they were all killed by the same man. I charge you, my strongest and most faithful servant to eliminate this heathen, and sacrifice his soul so I may toy with it as I please." Along with the message, a mental picture of the perpetrator thundered into Hidan's head. He stored the picture away, he would remember it later. Hidan was ecstatic that he had been given a special mission from his idol. He immediately assured the other immortal of his acceptance.

"Of course my lord, anything for you. It will be an honor to go on any mission for your benefit." He would leave immediatley, not caring for the other Akatsuki members: Kakuzu preffered to operate alone, and Pein valued him too much to try to stop him. The others just wouldn't care. Hidan quickly massacred the rest of his victims, then set off towards where the most recently murdered member of the cult had died. He could still feel the aftereffects of the pulse, and that pointed him toward the Grass Village. Hidan started running, pausing only to grab his scythe and pikes.

Two days after receiving his holy mission, Hidan found his fellow worshiper's body. The man looked different than Hidan remembered him. The last time Hidan saw the other man was about ten years ago, when they ran into each other, in the Village Hidden in the Stone. Then, he had a feral glint in his eye, and a nice thick beard. Now, his eyes, even two days dead, looked weary, and his beard was thinner and streaked with gray. His face was lined with worry, and his mouth was turned down in a grimace. Hidan burned the body, chanting a death prayer. After the fire blazed down, Hidan turned for the nearest village.

He wasn't normally the thorough type, actually asking around when searching, he preffered to rip across the land, killing and sacrificing everyone he saw. But this was not a normal venture. On a holy mission, he needed to find the blasphemer as fast as possible, and deliver him into Jashin's waiting arms. Hidan bared his teeth in a feral smile, Jashin would be pleased with him.

Hidan brought to mind the face his god gleaned from the memories of those killed. The murderer was suprisingly young, probably just turned seventeen. Oddly enough, he bore a resemblance to Hidan, silver hair, and purple eyes. The man's hair was longer, and bound with a string in a hairstlye resembling Itachi's. His eyes were a brighter purple, with more red in them. In this image, his teeth were bared in a bestial snarl, about to spring for the victim's throat. His weapons were metal claws, strapped to his hands. Five blades extended from each hand, one at each finger. The man was wearing a dark green short sleeve shirt, worn and cut from his fight. He had on black shorts, and instead of shoes, metal claws on his feet.

Hidan smiled again, killing him would be especially entertaining. Such a feral man meant a good fight, and a strong resolve. Jashin would have fun breaking his soul as well. Once Hidan got into a village, he started asking around, giving descriptions of the person, the heathen.

"Hey, shithead. Have you seen a bastard with long silver hair, and purple eyes? He woulda been here a few days ago." The merchant that he was currently interrogating eagerly nodded, then told Hidan that the heathen had been here for about a week before the murder, then one day walked out of town with no explanation. Hidan smiled.

"Which way did he go?" The merchant informed Hidan that the heathen had left town heading for another town, about a week's travel southeast. Hidan smiled again, and ran off in the same direction at top speed. Hidan used the web of Jashinist minds to find the Jashinst that lived near the area he was heading. When he saw the number, he let out a colorful curse. There were about five within a ten mile radius. Hidan could either ask around again, or wait until the next murder. He chose to do the former, but was forced to do the latter. In the middle of an interogation, Hidan felt another pulse, about two miles north of there. He left in the middle of an insult, sprinting towards the dead Jashinist. Within a minute he arrived at the corpse. There was no heathen in sight, only the body of a worshiper, and a note scrawled in blood. Hidan leaned closer to the note, trying to read it. He was surprised it was adressed to him.

"Hidan", it read, "give up. You will not catch me. There is no way to defeat me. You will not get their pendants back. If you insist on continueing with your mission, I will find a way to send your soul to judgement. From, Akaame"

Hidan was shocked. For a Jashinist's soul to ascend to heaven, he needs his pendant. By taking their pendants, this 'Akaame' had desecrated them. Now, Hidan was pissed.

"You bastard", he shouted, "you won't get away with this! I will hunt you down, and I will sacrifice you in the name of Jashin! I hope he rips your soul apart!" Hidan spent the rest of his anger viciously chopping up trees to make the funeral pyre. Once he was done, he shot off to the nearest Jashinist, about three miles away. He knocked down the door, then started shouting at the man sitting inside.

"Have you seen a dickheaded bastard with silver hair and purple eyes?" The other Jashinist cooly stared at him, and easily replied, "Yea, im looking at the bastard right now." It took Hidan a moment to realize that the heathen wasn't there, but the other Jashinist was talking about him. Hidan screamed, "Not me you idiot! Theres been a guy murderering Jashinists, and he just killed someone three miles from here! I have to kill him, and I think that YOU are next!" The other worshiper just rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, no way he could kill me." Hidan opened his mouth to throw quite a few explosive obscenities, but realized that there would be no reasoning with him. Hidan snarled, then leapt out the door.

"Bastard." He muttered as he streaked through the streets. He knew the heathen would run for now, and probably target the farthest Jashinist from him available. Something most people don't know about Hidan was that he actually had a brain, fully equipped with knowledge and commomn sense, he just didn't use it. He never needed to, all he had to do was stab himself in a vital area to kill his opponent. Now, the opponent was hiding, and he was charged by Jashin to kill him. So Hidan sat down and used the organ that he forgot about so long ago.

"Damnit, I can't think!" Ok, so maybe he didn't have a brain. "I need Kakuzu for this! He is the smart one." So, instead of actually thinking, Hidan went on a killing spree in the nearest village. He always thought clearer while killing innocents, especially when causing them extra pain. So lost was he in the sadistic pleasure of the sacrificial ritual, he almost didn't notice the large man in a black cloak with red clouds standing over him. Well, man wouldn't be the right word. Plant would be more accurate.

"What is it Zetsu," Hidan demanded grumpily, "did Pein send you?" The plant man looked around, and answered.

"No, I just noticed that a killing spree was taking place, and wondered if the bodies needed disposing of." Hidan waved the plant man on, and tried to ignore the chomping and slurping sounds that followed. Once both of them were done, Zetsu told Hidan about what had happened recently.

"Kakuzu came back in a relatively happy mood, and he explained that you left." Zetsu's black side intervened, "happy, he was ecstatic. Bastard was waving his threads all over the place." The white half continued, "So Pein sent me out looking for you, but then I heard you scream at that other Jashinist a while ago, and reported back. Pein says that you can finish this mission, but try to keep it short." Hidan grunted.

"Tell Pein thanks, but I woulda gone anyway." Zetsu shrugged.

"is there anything you need? I don't have any missions currently." Then Zetsu got into an argument with himself.

"What the hell are you doing, offering just like that?! We don't have to help him, so why should we?"

"Well, Pein wants him back ASAP, so finding his target faster will get him back sooner." The whispered argument continued for quite a while. Once Hidan got bored with the argument, which was quite entertaining, he spoke up.

"No thanks plant man. Jashin gave this mission to me, he wouldn't want a nonbeliever in it to. Now go eat dirt, or whatever it is you do in your spare time." Each half of Zetzu rolled their eye, and sunk into the ground.

"Bastard." Hidan stalked off to another village to ask questions. He spent another two days asking around, and coming up with nothing, before he felt another Jashinist die, the same one he had warned.

"Damn idiot, I told him." Hidan grunted as he flung himself in the direction of the pulse. When he got there, there was another note.

"Thank you Hidan for finding another Jashinist for me, they are so hard to hunt down. But I told you, give up. You won't survive. From, Akaame." Hidan scowled, and noticed fast fading footsteps. He quickly darted off in that direction, and soon came upon a large clearing, probably the size of a baseball field. Standing on the other side of the field was a young man with silver hair, purple eyes, and bloody hands. Hidan smiled, finally he could send this heathen's soul to Jashin.

"Hey coward," he called", finally stopped running away? Finally decided to be delivered to the great Jashin?" The man calmly walked to within twenty feet of the Jashinist, and replied, "I was never running, you just couldn't find me. And I don't think I will be sent to Jashin today, I've got a dentist appointment tomorrow. Can't miss it, sorry." Hidan laughed, and swung his scythe in a menacing circle.

"You're gonna have to miss it, but don't worry, Lord Jashin can pull your teeth out if you want him to." And he flung his scythe.

Wow, I thought of this story while eating a bowl of cereal, and I just had to write it down. Im toning down the obscenities, but you can add in your own if you want. If you want me to include some other member of Akatsuki, or any other people in the Narutoverse, just tell me. I dunno why I wrote a Hidan fic, just arent many out there. R&R

-Prauge