Author's notes: Thank you to all the readers who read the original version, thank you for resisting the urge to flame me. In fact, thanks as well to the person who did. You could've been a bit more professional, but you opened my eyes, and at the end of the day, that's what counts. Even Kurt Vonnegut wrote a horrible story, the original Timequake. What did he do? He cleaned it up and re-released it. So I've cleaned up the story and now, ladies, gentlemen and others, I present to you Mitsoki V2.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters except Mitsoki.
Another Disclaimer: Mitsoki is based on me, however, this is not a self-insertion. Mitsoki is much better than I am.
Mitsoki: Chapter 1: You Don't Know Jack, or Mitsoki
"SIT!" WHAM! Business as usual for the first couple of anime. Or was it? Inuyasha crawled to his feet. They were in a small, unoccupied wooden building. Really, where else?
"Do it again," he requested.
"SIT!" Kagome screamed.
"Again," Inuyasha demanded.
"That's ten in a row. Your body can't handle any more," said Kagome.
"Come on. If I'm ever going to kill Naraku, I need to learn how to take a beating," Inuyasha debated. This had recently become a fairly regular part of Inuyasha's workout routine, and it was proving quite effective.
"You're sure?" asked Kagome.
"Yes," answered Inuyasha.
"SIT!" Kagome yelled. WHAM!
"Ow! Okay! That one hurt!" exclaimed Inuyasha.
"What kind of pain is it?" asked Kagome.
"Like a thousand fiery needles digging into my arm," responded Inuyasha.
"Are you okay?" asked Kagome.
"Fantastic," responded Inuyasha sarcastically.
"I think you, or I really, pinched your nerve," observed Kagome.
"How do we fix that?" asked Inuyasha, his voice quivering ever so slightly, his face not showing anything at all.
"No idea," said Kagome.
"Well then, I'd say we've got a problem," interrupted Sango, "There's no way Inuyasha can fight like this. We're sort of screwed."
"Hey, I know of a treatment that can fix a pinched nerve," said Miroku, "I have all the ingredients except one herb, which grows near here. I can go get it right now."
"I'll come with you," said Sango.
"Me too," said Kagome.
"No, stay here," said Miroku, "If anyone attacks, Inuyasha will be defenceless. We need you to back him up."
"Okay," said Kagome.
"Well, we're off," said Sango, walking away.
"Bye," said Kagome.
Sometime later, the two were walking through a field. There was nothing growing in the field, it was just a wide open space. Off in the distance, they saw a figure. Upon further inspection, the figure was distinctly a demon. He was walking towards them. He had a fluid walk, and he appeared to have hair almost identical to cat's hair, only longer. It was burning red. As he approached within ten feet of them, Miroku pulled out a sutra. He threw it at the demon, with the standard yell of, "Sacred sutra!" The sutra hit the demon, and there was a half-second pause, which seemed like forever, before the demon peered up at it nonchalantly and pulled it off.
"Kama Sutra!" the demon yelled, glancing at Sango. Miroku suppressed a laugh.
"I don't get it," said Sango.
"That's good," said Miroku, then, turning to the demon, "How is it you survived my Sutra without even flinching?"
"I did some stuff for some monks, they helped me build an immunity," said the demon, "it's a good thing too, because if they hadn't, you would've just taken an innocent life."
"Sorry, I can be hasty like that," said Miroku.
"You mean you've done that to other demons?" asked the demon in shock.
"Well, now that you mention it, I guess I have," said Miroku.
"You sick, sick human being!" the demon objected.
"What? We usually get the right guy," Miroku defended.
"It's still wrong to assume like that," lectured the demon.
"Help me out here Sango," requested Miroku.
"He's right, we can be a bit overzealous sometimes," said Sango.
"Just never do it again," said the demon.
"Sounds reasonable. Okay, fine, I'll think more first," said Miroku.
"What is your name anyways?" asked Sango.
"I am the inimitable cat demon Mitsoki," responded the demon, "and who are you?"
"I am the monk Miroku," said Miroku.
"I'm Sango, the demon-sla- I mean, just Sango," said Sango.
"It's okay, I understand that there are quite a few demons who need slaying. I, however, am not one of them," said Mitsoki.
"We're looking for an herb to help our injured friend," said Sango.
"Oh? What's it called?" asked Mitsoki.
"It's called Cumin. It's commonly used in cooking," answered Miroku.
"I happen to have some growing in my garden," said Mitsoki, "I love growing herbs and spices. Just follow me, and I'll give you some. I'm sorry, but this year's crop didn't come in too well."
"That's fine," said Sango, then she turned to Miroku, "isn't it?"
"Yes, I only need a little bit," answered Miroku.
"Well, follow me," said Mitsoki, taking off in the eastern direction.
"Not so fast!" yelled Miroku. Mitsoki stopped cold.
"What?" he asked.
"Nothing, I just wanted you to slow down," said Miroku.
"I thought you meant 'not so fast' as in 'wait a second'," explained Mitsoki.
"No, just with less speed," said Miroku. They continued at a slower pace until Mitsoki took them to a house. It was fairly nice, though not very big. The one thing that was huge, however, was the dazzling garden behind his house.
"Okay, it should be around here," said Mitsoki, leading them to a patch of cumin. About half of it was dead, but the other half looked promising.
"This is beautiful, how do you do this?" asked Sango.
"I just have a strong interest in macrobiotics," said Mitsoki.
"I'm not familiar with that term," said Miroku.
"I try to grow as much of my own food as possible," said Mitsoki, "and I don't eat meat, which I know is weird, because I'm a cat."
"I can imagine," said Sango.
"Well, I've got your cumin," said Mitsoki, handing them a small basket of the herb.
"Thanks, is there anything we can do for you in return?" asked Sango.
Mitsoki skipped what he really wanted to say, and instead opted for, "I'd kind of like to meet your injured friend," said Mitsoki, "how did he get injured?"
"Umm… training," said Miroku, skipping the long story.
"Really? Is he an athlete?" asked Mitsoki.
"No, more of an adventurer," answered Sango.
"Really?" asked Mitsoki.
"We all are," answered Miroku.
"Are there more of you?" asked Mitsoki.
"Yes, there are three more of us, other than the injured friend," said Sango.
"Actually, now that you mention it, there's another cat demon with us," said Miroku, "although she's more cat than anything else."
"So can I meet them?" asked Mitsoki.
"I don't see any reason why not," said Sango.
"Well then, let's go," said Mitsoki, "where are they?"
"They're off this way," said Miroku, walking in the direction of the clearing where their friends rested.
Meanwhile, back in the building, Inuyasha and Kagome were sharing a secret kiss. They didn't know how it happened, they were just sort of looking at each other, and then Inuyasha leaned into Kagome. Or did Kagome lean into Inuyasha? One thing was for sure, whoever didn't do the leaning had answered the leaning. Now they were there. Was anything else there? Who knew? Who cared? The kiss was innocent and tender in one way, yet still fiery and passionate in another way. And then they both simultaneously realized what they were doing. They stopped. They glanced at each other. In an instant, there was an understanding. They both knew it was there, why fight it? Inuyasha placed his hand on Kagome's cheek, and they started again. It was every bit as good as the first one. Maybe better, because they had one thing that had been missing: acceptance. They broke away, just at the right moment. They heard footsteps behind them.
"Who's there?" Inuyasha asked, glancing up and getting a jolt from his neck, "GAHHHHH!"
"It's just us," said Miroku.
"Who's that behind you?" asked Kagome.
"I'm Mitsoki, the cat demon," responded Mitsoki.
"He brought the herb," said Sango.
"Hurry up, apply it!" cried Shippo. Wait… Shippo? Had he been there the whole time? He must have, but he didn't say anything.
"Just a second," said Miroku. He pulled out a bowl and began mixing herbs. Before long, he had a rich, creamy lather. He applied it to Inuyasha's neck and started to chant. He pulled out a sutra.
"What are you doing with that?" asked Inuyasha with a distinct tone of worry in his voice.
"Relax, this isn't a regular sutra, it's strictly for healing. No purifying, I promise," assured Miroku. He lay the sutra on Inuyasha's neck. "This, on the other hand, may hurt a bit," he said, cranking Inuyasha's neck. Inuyasha let out an oddly uncharacteristic and high-pitched scream, then opened his eyes.
"Hey, the pain is gone," he said.
"You will feel some pain in your neck for a while," said Miroku, "but I can't do anything about that. I'm a monk, not a Shiatsu massage therapist."
"I know a bit about Shiatsu massage," piped up Mitsoki.
"Really? You know, that's the one thing we've been missing this whole time. We can fight, we can heal, we can do almost everything, but none of us can rehab injuries," said Sango.
"Well, to be fair, I'm not very good," admitted Mitsoki, "and it would be sort of weird."
"That's okay. We could use someone like you," said Kagome.
"Yeah," agreed Shippo.
"How about it? Will you help us kill Naraku?" asked Miroku.
"Naraku? Of course. His demons are always eating my plants," said Mitsoki, "and… my pets."
"Well then, come with us," said Shippo.
"Okay, I guess I could leave home for a little while," said Mitsoki.
"What about the pets you just mentioned?" asked Sango.
"I gave up. They were all eaten," answered Mitsoki.
"Mew," said Kirara.
"I know, but that's life," said Mitsoki.
"What did she say?" asked Sango.
"Just that it was sad that my animals died," responded Mitsoki.
"Well, something to fight for never hurts," said Miroku, in the understatement of the year.
"Well then, let's roll," said Mitsoki, feeling the rush.
End of Chapter
Author's Notes: I said no flames last time, but YOU DIDN'T LISTEN, DID YOU? Sorry, that was slightly bitter. I only got one flame. I only got one review, but c'est la vie. Anyways, just review honestly. If you like the story, please say so. That way, I can finally redeem myself for the Blair Witch Project piece of crap I put out earlier.