(0)(0)
(o.O) Lounging Bunny (c) Productions Presents
(("")("")
If You're Not For Me
~ . ~
"I'll never know what the future brings, but I know you're here with me now.
We'll make it through and I hope you are the one I share my life with."
-Daniel Bedingfield
~ . ~
Head held high, she stands in the middle of the PCPD, anxious to get Jake out of there as fast as possible. From the moment she had met him, she saw something in him that elicited not only her loyalty, but her trust and respect all at once. It was hard to describe, but she just felt like she knew him. That she knew his heart and his soul. Standing there, waiting for him to be released, she's thankful that she had been right about him. If only she could say the same for the man she had planned to create a future with.
"Elizabeth." Ric voices when he spots her. "Can we talk, please?"
"No." she says sharply. "I have nothing to say to you."
"So that's it?" Ric questions in disbelief. "One mistake and you're done with me? After all we've been through, you're just casting it aside for this guy you've only known for a few months?"
"Don't make this about Jake." Elizabeth snaps, giving no care to the audience they were starting to have. "Not only did you betray my trust, but you put your own insecurities ahead of helping an innocent man find justice. Thankfully, Nikolas was able to see past his own feelings about Jake long enough to help him or he'd still be locked away for a list of crimes Helena forced him to commit."
"Of course, Nikolas the hero." Ric scoffs. "One of the many people that despise our relationship. Did you ever think that maybe he did it to look better than me in your eyes?"
"Every time I think you've changed, you always do something to prove me wrong." Elizabeth shakes her head. "Unlike you, Nikolas did it because it was the right thing to do and not because it would benefit him to do so."
"If you think Nikolas..."
"Everything okay here?" Jake voices from behind Ric, causing a groan to escape from his lips and a smile to touch hers.
"Yeah. Everything's fine." Elizabeth says firmly before Ric could say anything. "They done with you yet?"
"All done." Jake assures. "I can wait outside if you're not done with Ric."
"That won't be necessary." Elizabeth says, swiftly cutting off whatever Ric was fixing to say yet again. "Ric and I are more than done."
Jake lets her walk before him, his eyes trained on Ric until they're out the door before his usual light demeanor returns. Turning to him, she finds that addictive smile on his face that makes it impossible not to smile back. In the short span of time that she's known him, she's come to recognize the many different meanings of his smiles. It was almost as if he had a specific smile for everyone he encounters. One of her favorites is the one he sports when talking to Dr. O.
"How're you feeling?" Elizabeth questions as they make their way to her car. "Any dizziness or nausea?"
"I'm fine." he assures with that dimpled smirk he seems to reserve just for her. "Don't worry so much."
"You just got out of the hospital after having a microchip removed from your frontal lobe." Elizabeth reminds him. "I think I've earned the right to worry about you if I want."
"Fair enough." he relents. "Worry away then."
"I appreciate the permission." she replies before smiling softly when he opens her door for her. "Thank you."
Sliding into the driver's seat, she waits long enough for Jake to strap into the passenger seat before taking off as fast as possible away from the PCPD parking lot. She had been a little put off that he had to go back to the precinct once he was cleared from the hospital, but she knew that all the loose ends had to be tied up before he could be free to go back to his life. Taking the turn onto her street, she reminisces back to when she first brought him home, amazed at just how much has changed since then.
"Are the boys home?" Jake asks as they pull into the driveway.
"Aiden's still out of town visiting my sister, Sarah, with my Gram. They'll be back sometime next week." she divulges as she shuts off the car. "Cameron's having a sleepover at Emma's house tonight."
"So, it'll just be the two of us?"
"Is that okay?" she questions, slipping the key into the lock before pushing the door open. "I can hire a nurse for you if you don't want to stay here. Patrick said he'd prefer you were under medical supervision for a while. He didn't say it had to be me."
"You're the only nurse I want."
"Mom! Jake!" Cameron's excited greeting tears them out of the moment they had found themselves in. "Welcome home!"
"Hey, buddy." Jake hugs Cameron when the little boy opens his arms for one. "I didn't know you were home."
"Sorry, guys." Patrick voices when he steps into the living room. "We were all set to head out, but he insisted to set up a welcome home surprise when he found out you were being released today."
"I knew you were innocent." Cameron says sincerely before taking hold of Jake's hand and guiding him into the house. "Do you like the banner? I made it myself."
"You kidding? I love it." Jake boasts as he looks up at the decorative banner. "I can see that you got your mother's flare for art."
"Mom's better than me, but she says that's okay because I'm still learning." Cameron replies before showing him over to the large card on the table. "Emma helped me make the card. We even got all our friends to sign it."
Watching Cameron and Jake together, Elizabeth felt a sense of happiness at how easily her son has become close to Jake. With the men that have come and gone from her life, Elizabeth was thankful that Cameron has gained a sort of balance in understanding that sometimes people just can't stay. Even if they want to.
Cameron has even started accepting calls from Lucky again. Thanks in large part to a conversation he had with Jake one night. It still amazes her how easy it is for him to explain something to Cameron in words that her son can understand and grasp. Other than Jason, she doesn't know anyone that could do that so effortlessly.
"I know I had my doubts about Jake, but he seems to be a good presence for Cam." Patrick comments as they watch the two interacting. "I'm glad I could help exonerate him."
"Me too." she admits before turning to him. "Really, Patrick, thank you. You have no idea how much I appreciate knowing that I can count on you."
"It goes both ways." Patrick reminds her. "Before I forget, there's lasagna cooling off on the counter, give it a good ten minutes before you guys eat."
"You didn't have to cook for us."
"Cameron's idea." Patrick assures. "He was adamant on making Jake's first night back an easy one. It was no trouble, Liz, really."
"If you're sure, then, thank you."
"Of course." he smiles before turning to the two huddled by the coffee table. "Cam, we should get going. Everyone's waiting for us at the water park."
"Coming!" Cameron says as he shoots up from his spot on the floor before turning to Jake. "I'm really glad you're free."
"Thanks, buddy." Jake replies as he hugs him goodbye. "Have fun."
Hugging her little boy tightly, Elizabeth places a soft kiss upon his cheek before watching him walk out the door with Patrick, waving until they drive off. As she closes the door, she wonders why she hadn't noticed Patrick's car parked on the curb. With a shake of her head, she chalks it up to being preoccupied as she drove up to the house. Turning around, she finds Jake standing just under the welcome home banner, a look of understanding gracing his features.
"Remind me to hire him if I ever want to throw a surprise party." Jake comments when she makes her way over to him. "The banner is amazing."
"I hope you don't mind." Elizabeth replies. "He's been really excited about doing something for you since he found out you were innocent."
"Why would I mind?" he counters, glancing up at the sign before meeting her eyes again. "I'm honored that he would want to go through all the trouble."
"He really cares about you." she replies. "It was his way of showing that."
"I really care about him, too." he says wholeheartedly. "And you."
"Why don't you go get washed up while I set the table for lunch?" Elizabeth suggests after a long moment of silence falls over them. "I'm sure you can't wait to wash off the stench of the PCPD."
"Sure." he replies, getting the feeling that she could use the space. "I won't take long."
She waits long enough for him to make his way to the upstairs bathroom before letting out a deep breath. Every day is a struggle to keep her feelings about him in check. When she was with Ric, it was easy to ignore the way he made her feel, but she doesn't have him to distract her from her growing feelings toward Jake. Everything Ric said to her only made her hate herself that much more. Knowing he was right and that, given the chance, she just might let herself give into a future with Jake. With all the reasons not to seeming less and less valid, its taking a lot out of her to resist the temptation that he presents.
~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~
Watching Patrick playing with the kids, Danny secure in his arms, Sam had to admit that she couldn't imagine life getting any better than this. Her relationship with Patrick has had more than its fair share of ups and downs for such a new relationship, but she realizes that she probably wouldn't want it any other way. With so many things testing their relationship, to be able to say that she still wants to work things out with him gives her the hope for a real future with him.
"Carly?" Sam voices when she spots the blonde a few feet away at the pool side bar.
"Oh, thank god!" Carly blurts out when she turns around. "Nikolas has been trying to call you."
"What about?" Sam looks at her confusedly. "Is everything okay?"
"You can say that." Carly smiles brightly, confusing Sam even more. "Jason's alive and Nikolas has proof."
Sam couldn't believe her ears. Her heart begs for her to not ask any questions, to take Carly at her word and be thankful that her husband is still alive, but she couldn't. She couldn't allow herself to believe that, after two and a half years, her husband's alive and out there in the world. She couldn't let herself believe it because it would mean that she had given up too easily. That while she was moving on with her life, her husband was out there somewhere with her none the wiser. She just couldn't believe it. And yet...
"What proof?" she dares to ask. "And it better not be half ass."
"He's inside." Carly replies. "If you're not convinced by the time he's done, you can kill me later. Okay?"
"Okay."
Walking over to Patrick, she tells him that she'll be inside with Carly for a moment and that she'll explain later, hoping against hope that this was real and that Jason was really alive. Nothing ever truly made sense since he was presumed dead. As she walks with Carly, she goes over all the facts in her head as her heart beats faster and faster.
They never found his body. Not a single trace of him in the water. If Nikolas is the one with the proof, it could be viable. He is Helena's grandson, after all, and Helena's connection to Faison wasn't a secret. All of which makes it very possible that this could be real. That he's really alive.
Grabbing a robe from the lady behind the bar, Sam quickly wraps it around herself before walking into the main building with Carly, all too eager to get this conversation over with already. At the end, it'll go one of two ways, she'll either thank them or want to kill them. Time will tell.
~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~
Through lunch, Jake can't help but watch Elizabeth in an attempt to get a read on how she's doing. If it weren't for Dr. Drake insisting that he be monitored, he isn't sure that he would have given into Elizabeth's request of moving back in. As stubborn as he knows himself to be, he probably would have just went back to the Metro Court and continued on with his life as he had been. No matter how empty he felt there.
His friendship with Carly seemed to be the only thing that kept him from truly feeling the loneliness there. That kept him from missing Elizabeth and the boys. Being back in her house gives him the overwhelming realization of just much the hotel pales in comparison to being here. He feels so much at home here that it sometimes frightens him.
As he thinks more about their situation, a song comes on over the radio that seems oddly familiar to him, only he can't place why. Rising to his feet, Jake makes his way over to where Elizabeth's seated, causing a look of confusion to grace her features.
Holding out his hand to her, he sees that she's starting to understand what he was getting at. For a moment, she looks as if she'll turn him down, causing a level of nervousness to flood through him. Then, hesitantly, she reaches out and slides her hand into his, allowing him to help her up from the chair and into his arms.
His arms wrap around her waist, his hands interlocking at the small of her back, as he holds her close to him. Ever since he woke up from the surgery, he has had a lot of time to think about where he wants his life to go, what he wants for his future...who he wants.
Every scenario that he could picture, everything he tried to imagine, all of it had one thing in common. One factor that remained no matter how many different ways he pictured his future. In every single scenario, Elizabeth and her boys remained a huge part of his life and he in theirs. In was physically inconceivable to have a future without them in it. He just couldn't picture it.
Slowly, her body starts to relax into his as her head rests against his chest, her hold on him tightening slightly as she holds him closer. In that moment, it felt as if she was trying not to let go of the moment, to not let go of him. As if she were afraid to break out of the moment that they've found themselves in. A feeling he could relate to because, in that that moment, he just didn't want to let go.
"Jake." she whispers, making no move to release her hold on him. "The song's over."
"I know." he sighs, not wanting it to end. "Can we not move just yet. Please."
"Okay."
It seemed like forever and not long enough all at the same time before they had no other choice but to let the moment end. As she went to pull away, Jake wasn't sure what propelled him to do it, but he hooked one arm around her waist, pulling her back against his body before his lips take claim to hers.
Shock was the first emotion to register through Elizabeth before she melts against him for a moment, giving into the kiss for a brief moment, but then pulling away abruptly and taking a good amount of steps away from him. He tries to apologize but she just shakes her head, not wanting to hear him apologize for kissing her.
"We can't." she says as her fingers go up to touch her lips. "God, Jake...this is wrong."
"Wrong for who?" Jake questions. "Because it didn't feel wrong to me. Maybe I'm wrong, but while I was kissing you it felt like you wanted me to."
"You have no idea how true that is." Elizabeth says as she drops her hand to her side. "But there's this whole other part to you, this whole life that we don't know about. How can we make something real when, for all we know, you could be married with children."
"You're right, I don't know anything about my past, anything about the person I can't remember." Jake agrees. "And I've tried to imagine what it would be like if I was able to reconnect with my old life. I've tried to imagine my life without you and I can't. I can't imagine a life without you because I don't want a life without you."
"Jake..."
"No, Elizabeth, please, just hear me out." Jake walks up to her, taking her hands in his. "I know that its crazy to be with me. I get that. But if I learnt anything from Carly and Sonny's situation its that love is crazy and illogical. It wouldn't be love if it wasn't."
"Jake..."
"I'm not asking for a lifelong commitment." Jake pushes further. "I just want one chance. A chance to build a life with you. A chance at a future with you. Just one chance. Please."
"I...I need a minute." she says, releasing her hold on his hands before walking to the stairs. "Don't move."
It felt like the longest minute of his life as he waited for her by the door, unable to move even a step after he laid his heart out for her, completely uncertain of what she was about to do or where this would take them. Every single second felt like a minute in its own right. He swears that if she doesn't get back down there soon, he's liable to spontaneously implode.
The moment she stepped into view at the top of the stairs, the world around him seemed to move in slow motion as she made her way over to him, one hand behind her back as she stood in front of him. Meeting her eyes, he found something in them that made him more than a little curious and a little more confused than ever before. Then, slowly, she removes her hand from behind her back and holds something over their heads, causing a smile to touch his lips when he notices the little paper mistletoe he had made with Cameron.
"I always regretted not kissing you that day." she explains, tilting her head to the side questioningly. "Too cheesy?"
"Not at all." he says, that playful dimpled grin gracing his lips. "Just cheesy enough."
"Yeah?"
"Oh, yeah."
Reaching up one hand, he gently grips the side of her neck before tugging her closer so their bodies were flushed together, his eyes meeting hers for a brief moment before their lips meet and their eyes slowly shut. As he goes to deepen the kiss, he reaches up his other hand to mirror the one holding her, causing her hands to grip his forearms in response.
Spinning them around, he moves her to the door, letting her back lay flush against it as his mouth explores hers. As he loses himself in the kiss, the last thoughts to enter his mind is how thankful he is that their lives are finally in sync, they're finally on the same page and he couldn't be happier if he tried.
~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~
Dropping into one of the chairs, Sam felt her whole world starting to spin, unable to process what has been divulged to her. How did she not see it? It wasn't as if she hasn't spent more than enough time with the guy. Since finding out that he was responsible for taking her hostage, she had spent more than enough time with him to pick apart just why he would so something like that. She has even visited him in the hospital more than a few times since he had been taken out of recovery after his surgery. How did she not see her own husband in front of her eyes?
"You believe it now, right?" Carly questions her. "You believe Jason's alive?"
"Yeah." Sam replies as she fiddles with Jason's wedding band between her fingers. "I just don't know what to do with it."
"You find him." Carly says like its obvious. "You find Jake and you tell him he's your husband and that you have a son together."
"After everything that has happened between us, there's no telling how he'll react." Sam points out. "And what about Patrick? We just started a relationship together..."
"Patrick's a great guy, we both know that, but Jason's your husband." Carly pushes further. "After everything that happened with Robin, I'm sure Patrick will understand."
"You're right." Sam shakes her head. "I know you're right."
"Great! Now all that's left to do is find Jake and tell him he's Jason." Carly says firmly. "Do you have any idea where he is?"
"Yeah." Sam says as another realization hits. "With Elizabeth."
"Well, call her." Carly insists. "Tell her you're on our way and that you have news about who Jake really is."
"You might wanna hurry that up." Nikolas finally chimes in. "The last time I spoke to Jake, he was pretty adamant on convincing Elizabeth to take a chance on him."
"I...I have to go." Sam turns to Carly. "Will you explain to Patrick why I left?"
"Of course." Carly assures. "Do you want me to take Danny home?"
"Yeah, thanks." Sam shakes her head as she pulls out her cellphone to call Elizabeth's house.
"I have to go tell Sonny about Jason." Carly informs her. "But after that I want sometime with my best friend."
"Sure."
Rushing out of the building, Sam climbs into her car and takes off in the direction of Elizabeth's house. Of all the things that she had expected out of her day, she never once imagined that she'd be facing her husband who has no memory of who she is or the life they had shared together. Once it sunk in, Sam wanted to take things slow, to help him get used to the idea that she's his wife and that they share a son, but she doesn't have that luxury at the moment.
Elizabeth and Jake have spent so much time together since he first woke up, if they were to sleep together, she's not sure that she can get him back from that. As far as he's concerned, Elizabeth's the closest thing to family to him while she's just the stranger that accused him of a variety of things. If she has any chance of building a relationship with him, she has to get there before they get too deep into each other.
~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~
Music floating through the air around them, they seem to be lost in each other, unable to surface long enough to know that they were taking things a lot farther than either of them had intended to go. Lifting her up from the ground, Jake supports her weight as she wraps her legs around him, simply drowning in her essence, begging to never come out from it again.
Slowly, he takes one step after the other, skillfully aiming them towards the stairs where he'll pull a Hercules and climb each step to his old room, wanting to make love to her there. After all the nights he had spent laying awake imagining a time for them to be together, he wants to make it all a reality, knowing its bound to be better than anything he could ever conjure up in his mind.
"Phone." she manages to get out when the faint sound of her phone ringing breaks through the cloud of ecstasy.
"Ignore it." he practically begs as he takes the first step up the stairs.
"Mm...kay."
Taking quicker steps to get them up the stairs without falling backwards, Jake maneuvers them into his old room before kicking the door shut behind them and moving her towards the bed. As gently as he can manage, he lowers her down upon the sheets where he takes a moment to take her all in. From the moment he laid eyes on her, Elizabeth's deep blue eyes captivated him to no end and that has yet to fade.
One by one, their clothing falls from their bodies to the floor until they are left in nothing but their birthday suits, bodies flush against each other. Fingers tangled together as their bodies meet as one, the two submerge themselves in the ecstasy and passion flooding through them, giving no care to the outside world. In that moment, in that room, nothing else mattered but each other and the moment they've stolen out of time.
"You're so beautiful." he whispers as he gently brushes back the hair from her face to stare deep into her eyes as he slowly moves in and out of her beautiful form. "I never want this to end."
Claiming her lips before she could think to say anything, he takes her to the edge of her sanity before free falling with her into something deliciously insane. To feel this much, to want this much, to need this much, can't be anything short of insanity. With just one touch, one taste, he has become addicted to the very essence of Elizabeth. Craving more and knowing it would be a hunger that will never be quenched.
~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~
Sam could feel her stomach sinking the more she called Elizabeth's cellphone and house phone, getting the answering machine for both. Keeping herself together, she drives faster and faster, throwing the car into park once she pulls up behind Elizabeth's car in the driveway.
Rushing up to the door, she knocks as loudly as she can, hoping that she's not too late. It took a few more knocks before the door opens, producing Jake in a robe. Seeing him, knowing who he is, Sam's voice gets caught in her throat, unable to voice anything in that moment.
Until the moment she spoke, that is, and Sam notices that Elizabeth is in a robe, as well. She'd find the entire situation laughable, given her own robe, if she wasn't certain that the sight before her meant exactly what she had been afraid of.
"Sam?" Elizabeth looks at her in confusion. "I thought you were at the water park with Patrick and the kids. Is everything okay?"
"You okay?" Jake questions her when he notices her go a little pale. "Maybe you should come in and sit."
"I'm okay." Sam shakes her head, finally regaining her composure. "I just need to talk to you. Alone. It won't take long."
"You need to talk to Jake?" Elizabeth looks at her suspiciously. "You're not about to accuse him of something else are you? He just got released from the PCPD a few hours ago and he's been here with me since then."
"I'm sure that's not why she's here, Elizabeth." Jake says softly before turning to Sam. "Right?"
"I'm not here to accuse you of anything." Sam assures him. "I just need to talk to you. That's all."
"Okay." Elizabeth says simply before turning to Jake. "I'll be upstairs."
"To be continued." he smirks, reaching up one hand to caress her cheek softly before dropping his hand to his side. "We're not done yet, Nurse Webber."
"Well, you know where to find me when you're done." Elizabeth smiles softly before schooling her features when turning to Sam. "If you don't want me to hear what you're discussing, you might want to stay on the porch. Just a suggestion."
Watching Elizabeth walk out of view, she has to admit that she can't really hate her for being with Jake. Its not like either of them know who he really is. For all Elizabeth knows, Jake is just some guy that has been completely down on his luck with no memory of who he is or where he came from. Though she can't be angry for them sleeping together, she can still find it in herself to be jealous.
As crazy as it feels, she's jealous. All this time, her husband has been right under their noses and the two people that have gotten to spend most of their time with him are the two women that had taken a lot of his time before he had been presumed dead. Elizabeth and Carly. A part of her wonders if they had sensed something about him, something that elicited their complete loyalty without question.
"Sam?" Jake voices, pulling her out of her inner thoughts. "Where would you like to have this conversation?"
"Outside." Sam says as she turns around and moves to sit on the porch swing.
"Okay." he replies, glancing up at the stairs at Elizabeth, smiling softly before making his way outside, closing the door behind him. "What's this about?"
She wasn't sure how she was supposed to have this conversation, every way she thinks to say it just comes out sounding insane, though its kind of normal for this entire situation. Of course, she wasn't expecting to be having this conversation in robes, a factor that didn't help with her nerves. As confident as she had felt leaving the water park, her confidence has significantly dropped.
So, not knowing what else she can do, she takes a deep breath and explains what happened and how she found out the truth. She tells him the proof that Nikolas had given her and that it was all Helena's doing. She tells him why she had done it and how who he was played a major factor in why Helena had chosen him. Why he was so good at everything he had been made to do. By the time she's done explaining, Jake's light demeanor is replaced by this blank expression, reminding her even more of her husband than ever before.
"Can you say something?" Sam voices after a long moment of silence falls over them, unable to take it anymore.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to say." Jake replies before turning his head to look at her. "Since I woke up, Jason Morgan has been this haunting presence in my life and now you're telling me that I'm Jason Morgan. The man that people remember fondly, but who lived on the dangerous side of life. A man that broke the law and killed people for a living. Not only am I a criminal, but I'm also a husband and a father. Forgive me for not being able to process all that in the span of a few minutes."
"Jason was a good man. You were a good man." Sam defends. "I know its hard to process, but you had more good qualities than you ever did bad."
"Jake." he voices, realizing something in that moment. "Jake is my son?"
"Yes." Sam confirms. "Danny's your son, too."
"I'm a father." Jake drops his gaze back to the porch, trying his hardest to wrap his head around this. His heart soaring at the fact that Danny is his son while aching for the little boy he'll never have a chance to know. "Will you let me spend time with him?"
"Of course." Sam says without hesitation. "He's your son."
"Thank you." he voices before rising to his feet. "I know this might not be fair to you, but I just need some time to wrap my head around this."
"Jason..."
"Its Jake." he corrects her. "My name's Jake."
"Now that you know who you are, can I ask where that leaves us?" Sam dares to ask, choosing to not let his choice in name affect her, knowing that the last time he changed his name it didn't bode well for his family.
"I don't know." Jake replies sincerely. "I don't want to hurt you, Sam."
"Just be honest with me." Sam says firmly. "That's all I can really ask from you."
"If I'm being honest..." Jake takes a deep before laying it out for her. "Everything from the time I was Jason Morgan is gone and its never coming back. According to Patrick, there has just been too much damage to ever regain those memories. To me, that's not necessarily a bad thing. I've created a life for myself, a life that isn't all that bad, and its a life I've come to cherish more than I ever thought I would."
"Your life with Elizabeth."
"She's a big part of it, yes, but its not just her." Jake replies. "As hard as it may be to hear, I'm not Jason Morgan, not really. If I'm being honest, your husband is as unfamiliar to me as Jason Quartermaine must have been to him. All I have is who I am right now and who I am right now wants the life I have. I don't want to be the kind of guy that chooses to break the law. I don't want to be the kind of guy who makes choices that put those he love in danger. Just the thought of it breaks me apart inside. I don't want to be that guy, Sam. I'm sorry."
"Can you see any chance of us finding a way back to being in love?" Sam questions as she tries to keep her tears from falling. "Maybe if we gave each other a chance..."
"I just can't see it, I'm sorry." Jake replies as he gently reaches up to wipe away the tear that escaped the trappings of her lashes. "You have a really good thing going with Patrick. He really cares about you and, from what I could see, you feel the same thing about him, too."
"Its true that I really care about him, he's a great guy, but you're my husband." Sam counters seriously. "How do I just throw that all away?"
"You don't." Jake replies. "You found a way to move on...you'll find that again. You can have a really great future with Patrick..."
"But just not with you."
"You and me...we're just not a good fit." Jake says gently. "If you were being honest with yourself, you'd know I'm right."
"Maybe." she takes a deep breath before shaking her head. "Look, I'm not saying this is going to be easy, but do you think we can at least find a way to be friends?"
"If its what you want, of course." he says without hesitation. "I never want to hurt you, Sam. We both know I've done more than enough of that since I woke up."
"None of it was your fault."
"Still. I hurt you." Jake says seriously. "And I'll always hate myself for that."
"I know you don't know this, but you and my husband have as much in common as you do differences." Sam replies before taking a deep breath. "I'm going to be out of town for a while, I'm not sure how long, but when I get back we'll set something up for you to spend time with Danny. Just because we can't rebuild our relationship, it doesn't mean you can't build one with your son."
"I appreciate that." Jake says wholeheartedly. "Maybe you should think about taking Patrick with you. Give your relationship a real chance."
"I was thinking the same thing." Sam admits with a slight smile. "See you later, Jake."
"See you later, Sam."
As hard as it was, she makes the venture back to her car and drives away from the man who used to be her husband, unsure of what path her life will take now. For as long as she can remember, Jason had been her future, he had been her everything. Some days she didn't know who she was without Jason. Then she lost him and her whole world spun out of control. Knowing he's alive and that she still can't be with him is a whole new kind of pain that she had never wanted to feel, but at the end of the day Jake's right. He's not the man she fell in love with. He's not her Jason and he probably never will be. As hard as it was going to be, she has to find a way to let go of that and, hopefully, her time away from Port Charles will do that for her.
~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~
Elizabeth could hear the words, but she couldn't believe it. After all this time, to find out that the man she had started to fall for is the man who held her heart for so many years, she couldn't even begin to process it. As quickly as her past with Jason enters her mind, his past with Sam joins it. Her guilt for what she did, keeping the truth from Jason, all of it comes flooding into her mind causing her to back away from Jake with tears in her eyes.
"Elizabeth..." he tries to say but she just shakes her head.
"You're Jason." she whispers, meeting his eyes, trying to convey to weight of what she just said. "All this time I was telling you about Jason...I was telling you about yourself."
"I'm Jake." he corrects her, slowly inching his way to her. "Its like you said...I'm not Jason. Not really."
"But you are." she counters. "And you're married to Sam."
"Not really." he replies. "Sam's giving me a place in Danny's life, but she understands that there's no future for us."
"Because of me?" she guesses. "Jake...you know who you are now...its what you've always wanted. You need to try and reclaim your life."
"I have my life." Jake defends. "I'm sorry for Sam's loss and I hate that I'm hurting her, but I'm not Jason. I'll never be Jason."
"I can't...I can't do this right now." Elizabeth wraps her arms around herself, trying to keep herself together. "You need to go."
"Elizabeth, please." Jake holds out his hands for her. "Please don't push me away."
"You think I want to? God, Jake, its the last thing I want to do." Elizabeth says seriously. "But you don't get it! I've made so many mistakes in the past because I was trying to keep Jason in my life...there wasn't anything I wouldn't do to keep him...all of which you know I regret...and I can't do it again. I can't be selfish when it comes to you."
"Its not selfish if its what I want, too." Jake protests, gripping the sides of her neck with both hands. "I want to be with you, Elizabeth, not Sam!"
"How can you know that?" Elizabeth counters. "You haven't given it a chance yet."
"I know that because I've spent more than enough time with Sam since I woke up." Jake says seriously. "I've never felt for her what I have felt for you...what I still feel for you! I'm sorry that I can't give Sam her husband back, but I'm not sorry I want you. You're the only person I want a chance with. Please don't take that away from me."
"I'm not meant for you." Elizabeth tries her hardest to do the right thing, but finding it harder and harder the more he pushes. "And you're not meant for me."
"Don't say that." Jake shakes his head before claiming her lips swiftly, refusing to believe that this is where they end. "If you're not meant for me, why do I feel like I'm home whenever you're around? If we're not meant for each other, why does being with you make me feel complete? Elizabeth, please, I know you feel it, too."
"Jake..."
"Look at me...really look at me, Elizabeth." Jake insists. "In all the time you've known me, have you ever once seen Jason? Looking at me now, do you see him? Be honest."
"No." she whispers as she stares into his eyes. "No, I never did...I still don't."
"Exactly." Jake says seriously. "You see me. Despite knowing who I used to be, you still just see me."
"Jake...please."
"Call it being selfish or whatever, but we are meant for each other. I know it." Jake presses his forehead to hers. "I feel it. Don't push me away. Don't take my chance away. Please."
"I don't want to hurt you..."
"The only way you can do that is if you leave me now without giving us a chance." Jake says firmly. "You're the only one I want, Elizabeth. Just you. Only you."
Heart beating rapidly in her chest, unable to fight it any longer, Elizabeth claims his lips with all the desire that has been burning within her. She hates that she's being selfish, but she can't help it. She can't imagine her life without him in it. Just the thought of having to be without him was tearing her apart inside. In the short span of time that she's known him, Jake has opened up parts of her that she had thought she'd locked away a long time ago.
~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~
Zipping up the last of her luggage, Sam takes a deep breath before glancing around the penthouse, her heart aching for the life that she had been meant to have in that place. As she finishes packing her and Danny's things, she realizes just how much living there has changed. In no longer felt like home to her. Hearing a knock sound at the door, she lifts the handles on her luggage and pulls them downstairs to the front door, pulling it open to find Patrick on the other side.
"Hey." he says softly, a look of understanding filling his eyes. "You sure about this?"
"Yeah." Sam shakes her head before fitting herself into his arms. "Its time to let go of the past."
"Okay." he replies. "The kids are waiting for us downstairs. We're ready when you are."
"I'm ready." she assures before pulling away softly and claiming his lips. "Thank you for being patient with me."
"Its not even a choice." he says simply. "I care about you, Sam, and I'm willing to wait as long as it takes for you to let go of your past."
Hand in hand, the two meet up with Cody downstairs and allow him to load Sam's luggage into the SUV while they climb into the back with the kids. She isn't exactly sure where her life will take her now, but she knows that the hardest part is taking the first step.
Once they're out of town, she'll contact Diane and let her know to meet up with Jake in regard to his estate. He may not be Jason anymore, but he is still entitled to everything he used to own and she will give him the option of taking everything back. It was only right. For now, she'll focus on getting out of town and creating a new future for herself. A future without Jason.
~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~
Curled up together in bed after having put Cameron to bed in his room, Jake and Elizabeth hold each other as they try to figure out where their lives would lead them now. Her heart truly goes out to Sam, losing Jason and then finding out he's alive, but then losing him all over again to a new persona. If she were in Sam's shoes, she doubts she'd know how to handle it. As thoughts of Sam enter her mind, more people from Jason's past come to mind.
Elizabeth knows better than anyone that Carly will soon be at the door, she wouldn't be Carly if she didn't, and she can't help but wonder if Carly will be able to see Jake instead of Jason. Like she had been to Jason, she has quickly become a big part of Jake's life and, for his sake, she hopes that Carly will be able to see past it all and be there for him.
Then there's Sonny. From what she has been able to grasp, Sonny's life has been spiraling in all different directions lately, especially since killing AJ. As things are beginning to heat up between Sonny and Michael, there's no telling how Sonny will react to Jake being Jason and no longer wanting any part of the life that Sonny believes he had generously given Jason. Will he expect Jake to fix his life the way Jason had done so many times before?
"Elizabeth?" Jake voices, breaking the silence that had fallen over them.
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Seeing as I still don't have a last name..." Jake turns to look at her. "Do you mind telling me why he chose Morgan?"
"Of course I don't mind." Elizabeth says softly, turning to face him. "I wasn't part of Jason's life at the time when he made the change, but he told me once that it had a lot to do with his grandmother, Lila. Morgan was her maiden name and it made her happy knowing that he would carry on the Morgan name."
"So, in a way, he was honoring someone he cared about."
"Yeah." she replies. "Are you thinking about keeping the last name?"
"I've been considering it." he admits. "I like the reason behind the name and it would be a way to honor the man I used to be."
"Jake Morgan." she voices, wanting him to hear how it sounds as she looks at him. "Does it sound right to you?"
"Yeah." he replies. "It sounds right when you say it."
"Okay." she smiles slightly, before snuggling into him as her head rests against his chest. "Jake Morgan it is then."
"Elizabeth?" he whispers as he relaxes back into the bed.
"Yeah?" she responds with a soft yawn, her eyes growing heavy.
"I just wanted to say thank you."
"For what?" she counters. "I didn't do anything."
"We both know that's not true." he replies. "Aside from everything else you've done for me that I'm grateful for, I just wanted to thank you for not pushing me away for my own good."
"Do you remember in the hospital when we were talking about my past with Nikolas?" Elizabeth questions. "You told me that you believed I could figure out my own life."
"I remember."
"Well, I believe the same about you." Elizabeth replies sincerely. "Besides, you were honest with me about what you wanted and I had to do the same. I want to be with you, Jake, and saying anything to the contrary would have been a lie and you deserve better than that."
"I appreciate that."
"We should get some sleep now." she says softly as she nestles into his side. "Tomorrow is bound to be a long day, all of which starts with a huge breakfast if Cameron gets his way, which you know he will."
"Can't wait."
Placing a soft kiss upon her forehead, Jake holds her snugly to his side before allowing the fatigue to take over him. From what he has learnt about his old self since he woke up in the hospital with no identity to speak of, Jake knows for sure that tomorrow promises to be a long day. The hardest part, he believes, is yet to come, but he knows he'll be able to handle it. With Elizabeth's faith in him as strong as it is, paired with the growing faith he has in himself, he knows he'll be able to handle whatever comes his way. For he is Jake Morgan and Jake Morgan hides from nothing and no one.
(0)(0)
(o.O) Lounging Bunny (c)
(("")("")
