Title: For You
Summary: With their memories erased, Kokoro and Mitsuru's only visible connection to each other are the rings on their fingers. Things begin to change when one of them starts seeing glimpses of their true past. KokoroXMitsuru. Spoilers up to episode 19.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.
I breathe your air
You're in my lungs
I need to fool my heart for once
I know our days are counted
For You
"This is really important! I feel bad for you, but you're not changing your mind!" her partner's raised voice surprised Kokoro, and she found she could not say anything more to him as he walked away. Her eyes followed him as she stood almost frozen in place, thinking about what had transpired only moments ago. Even with whatever the team had told her, how could her ever devoted partner treat her this way?
Hadn't they promised to pilot together forever?
Blue eyes turned to the floor, not being able to grasp what kind of situation she was in at all. No matter how hard she tried to convince Futoshi to pilot with her, he refused. He was adamant about Kokoro piloting with another…
Why had Futoshi suggested she pilot with another? They were partners after all, having fought together in so many battles before and having no problems whatsoever… They got along well and he always made sure she was okay and protected her…What was so different now?
"What were you talking about?" a familiar voice brought her out of her thoughts. Head raising, blue eyes met green. Kokoro felt an odd sense of comfort deep within her, almost reassuring her and giving her a silent strength she couldn't explain. She wanted to be honest with him for some strange reason, to explain in great detail what was going on in her mind and express her feelings, but she couldn't.
He was the reason.
"Oh, you saw that?" She couldn't hide the slightly embarrassed look on her face. What could she say to her apparent fellow teammate? Originally she had assumed he was brand new to Squad 13, but after all the others banded together to say otherwise, desperate for Kokoro to believe all of them, she had accepted they had been teammates and just couldn't remember it because of her mysterious memory loss.
It was her fellow female squad mates Miku, Ichigo, and Ikuno who had prodded her and explained who Mitsuru was to her. They were huddled in a tight circle one night and they talked about how the pair had piloted together. They explained that she and Mitsuru were the reason the team could defeat a Klaxosaur that seemed to be able to regenerate and heal itself faster than they could reach its' core. In fact, that was also the first time they had piloted together.
They had explained it with such conviction and wonder that Kokoro almost felt terrible for not believing them. In fact, a part of her didn't believe it still…but the way all of the girls had told her of the stories…she felt just as bad for doubting them. Her feelings only worsened when their looks of astonishment filled their faces when Kokoro had not shown any sort of deep reaction to their words. When she tried to think of Mitsuru, her mind was blank, only filled with darkness. She tried to reassure her friends that hopefully one day she would be able to remember, but she had no idea when that would be.
Days, months, or even years from now.
While her teammates were trying to help her regain some of her memories, she knew they weren't telling her absolutely everything that had transpired between she and Mitsuru. Of course, there would be things only the two of them knew, but it seemed as though her teammates were unsure of whether or not to tell her everything.
It had been Zero Two, who had joined the group of girls sitting far away from the boys, who had said it would be better for Kokoro and more believable if she were to regain her memories and feelings without too much help from the others. This way, Kokoro would not have any doubt that her own memories and feelings were true and not planted by anyone else. It would also reduce the risk of Kokoro being put under too much stress from the others, which might even let her regain her memories faster.
After a while, it really started to frustrate Kokoro, unbeknownst to her squad.
She was amazed Mitsuru was even standing there alone with her. Since returning to their team, he was usually off by himself or with the group as a whole. He was never usually just with a single person one-on-one.
Kokoro had watched him only by chance wandering the halls of the Bird's Nest that all the parasites were currently residing by himself. Even then she didn't know why her feet had begged her to go to him.
Mitsuru came to stand before her. "Sorry, I didn't mean to."
For someone who was not as close to her as Futoshi, she didn't know why her chest constricted just a little at the tone- or lack of– in his voice. They barely knew each other after all, he was Ikuno's partner and mostly kept to himself. She barely had any, if any at all, encounters with him outside of their group, and they had just met days ago.
Or had they?
It was told to Kokoro that she was the one who had proposed riding with Mitsuru, shocking the usually quiet girl herself. Her memories were filled of her riding Genista with Futoshi, not with Mitsuru.
But why couldn't she remember anything about this short haired boy that stood in front of her?
Confusion riddling her again, Kokoro sat down on the couch behind her, reveling in the softness and comfort it brought her tense body. "Futoshi doesn't want to be my partner anymore. He says he'll team up with Ikuno and he wants me to team up with you."
His green eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "But why?"
She felt a pang go through her, but ignored it. "It's too sudden, right?" Her gaze lifted to Mitsuru's. He hadn't moved an inch towards her, remaining as still as stone a mere few feet away from her. His lips were in a thin line before he began speaking again.
"They keep telling us about all this stuff that happened between us, but we don't remember any of it."
Kokoro could feel her mouth open slightly, recalling how their whole team told them stories about the beach, how they piloted together, and even their decision to have a 'wedding,' which she knew nothing about.
What could have possibly happened between them for she and Mitsuru to have perhaps developed such a strong connection to each other? Why would she have chosen to be his partner anyway? Right now there was absolutely no deep relationship they had for one another. He was tolerant, but cold towards her, plus she…
"And even if they are telling the truth, I don't believe I'll ever develop those feelings for you."
Mouth still slightly agape, the pain in her chest seem to worsen, like her heart was being ripped out. She almost felt as if she would cry. Ripping her eyes away from Mitsuru's, Kokoro looked down at her ring, the twin to the one still adorning the green-eyed boys left hand. Why he hadn't taken it off, she didn't know.
Just as she didn't know why it remained on her finger, other than when she had gone to take it off, she found she had no strength to do so.
"Yea, it's probably the same for me."
But she knew her words were a lie.
Squad 13 exited the room from which they met with Dr. Franxx and Papa. One by one, they left with mixed expressions on their faces. Zorome seeming to have the most pitiful of them all.
Lowering her gaze, pink hair shifted slightly while Zero Two waited for her darling to exit. She had remained outside, having no desire to lay her eyes upon a computer image of their precious Papa, whom she despised. She most definitely did not want to be in the presence of the doctor, either.
Zero Two had come to cherish their little squad and he had disrupted their bond. She felt her teeth clench in anger before hearing the door open again. She visibly relaxed before she felt familiar eyes gazing down on her.
"Darling, you pervert."
Hiro knelt down before her. Zero Two's cyan eyes met her darlings, waiting to hear the news from her beloved.
"Zero Two, we made our decision."
"Right." A small smile played on her lips, realizing the magnitude of what had just occurred and the danger that now lay ahead of them.
"Let's go, Zero Two." She took the hand that was extended towards her and stood, returning his grip tightly as they walked down the hall together.
Foreboding filled her with each step they took together down the long hallway. What the future held was unbeknownst to any of them, but Zero Two knew she would never let go of her darling ever again.
Their squad mates settled around them on the couches with expressions varying from one person to the next. Whatever had transpired without both Kokoro and Mitsuru had the long haired girl feeling unsettled.
Just as Hiro and Zero Two entered the room, Mitsuru took a seat next to Kokoro.
"I will be your partner, but don't expect anything from me," he said almost robotically. Again, the words were eerily familiar to Kokoro, but she did not have enough time to contemplate them when Hiro spoke.
"Papa has agreed to set us free after this last mission."
It was only Kokoro and Mitsuru who were taken aback, the rest of their members not moving from their positions, seemingly knowing this information already.
"Free? What is that supposed to mean?" Mitsuru tried to keep his voice steady, but to be free? What did that mean for all of them?
Zero Two and Hiro joined the rest of their teammates on the couch. It was Hiro who began speaking first.
"I don't think Papa intends to easily let us go," he began as all of Squad 13 seemed to be shifting and moving to sit more formally together. "We are going to need to think of a way to get all of us out alive."
They all knew that the current living parasites were gathered here for a reason. There was an important and large scale battle coming, and it would need all of the parasites working together to achieve the goals of APE and Papa.
A moment of silence washed over all of them before Ichigo moved first.
Ichigo's expression seemed to focus with determination as she glanced at Goro with a nod before turning back to the others. "No matter what happens, I will make sure that we will make it out, together."
Zorome lifted his head from his knees slightly. "How? How are all of us going to make it out alive? Even if we did, what happens after when we are free? We were never going to become adults anyway!"
Miku put a hand on her partners' shoulder, trying to give him some of her strength. "Zorome…"
"As long as we have each other, we can do anything."
The group seemed to look up slowly at the pink haired fighter. Her words seeming to hit each of them like a domino effect and sink in. It was true, as a team that had accomplished more than what anyone had thought they could.
As a team, they were invincible.
Hiro couldn't stop the smile that formed on his lips as he looked at his partner. "You're right, Zero Two."
In that moment, it seemed as if all of Squad 13 were revitalized and ready to fight.
The group had remained together for a while, discussing different possibilities and strategies. Their course of action would be chosen in the days to come, and before the battle they would continue to try and predict just what Papa would try to command them to do.
It was Ikuno who brought up the possibility of Papa using Protocol 32, and all of their members seemed to shudder. Their once glowing determination and fighting spirits sputtering for a moment.
Even both Mitsuru and Kokoro could not forget the squad that had blown themselves up in order to try and stop the Klaxosaur that had been attacking the Gran Crevasse. Although at the time she strongly remembered piloting Genista with Futoshi…
Hiro had taken a moment before declaring, "I won't let him use Protocol 32 on our team."
How he would be able to do that, Kokoro didn't know. As time went by, their team had run through various possibilities before deciding to take a rest. It had been a rather long and stressful morning and afternoon for all of them.
They all had, however, agreed that they would remain together as a team and fight as a team.
Mitsuru was the last to leave, seeming almost hesitant before raising to his feet. Kokoro didn't stop him as he walked away from her, leaving her to sit in silence. It seemed as though hours went by before she stood herself, finding her way to what had become her favorite place.
Like Mitsuru, after a while she would find herself wandering the Bird's Nest alone, only coming to stand by a window looking out to what seemed like metal trees with no foliage. They were comforting to look at, and seemed familiar in the strangest way.
The first time she had come to this place, she remembered the small pink flower petal that seemed to float by her, a sakura blossom. Just the word escaping her lips brought her such joy, but also such sadness and fear. What was the significance of this sakura petal?
She found her fingers lightly grasping the ring to turn it around on her finger. It almost seemed as though it was helping her to try and regain her memories with each turn, but it was hopeless. Kokoro could feel herself almost glaring at the metal 'trees' before her, trying to will her memories to return, but again there was nothing.
Why can't I remember?
She felt something wet and warm drag up the side of her face for a second before she jumped away, staring into the cyan eyes of Zero Two. She had definitely succeeded in ripping Kokoro from her agonizing thoughts.
"W-What is it, Zero Two?"
"You're starting to get angry…" was that a tinge of disbelief in Zero Two's voice?
"Uhhmm…" Kokoro felt her cheeks slightly redden at being caught in her own contemplations and the fact that Zero Two could sense she was getting irritated. Kokoro wasn't one to let her emotions show so easily, but she had been caught this time.
"Piloting together with Mitsuru will be a good thing for both of you," she said, her voice just loud enough for both of them to hear, sounding almost reassuring.
"You think so?"
Zero Two gave a curt nod, turning to leave without giving any further explanation.
Bringing her hands to her chest, Kokoro clasped them together, turning her eyes from the retreating form of Zero Two back to the metal trees.
If she were to regain her memories, what then? How much of her current reality would it change? She remembered the stories the girls had told her and felt her heart quicken just a bit.
Right now, she felt oddly comfortable with the memories she recalled in her brain. Having the possibility of them being completely changed was slightly frightening for Kokoro.
But didn't she deserve to have her real memories return?
If she had found some sort of happiness with Mitsuru, didn't they both deserve to remember the time they shared together?
A small sense of hope started to bud within Kokoro. Although her 'new' partner seemed to keep her as well as all of their teammates at arms length, maybe there had been some sort of change before?
A part of Kokoro wished she could remember seeing Mitsuru with a warm look in his eyes instead of the cold gaze he had shown her earlier.