Sometimes, Peter wondered why the hell he even bothered. He stared down at the scene in the street and watched, feeling numb from shock. Wade had managed it again. He had managed to level a whole building with about as much effort as it took him to unwrap a taco. He speared the oblivious merc with a look. "I told you…
"But I didn't…" Deadpool scratched the back of his head, having the audacity to look sheepish. "Okay. Maybe I did. A little. It wasn't that much."
"How much is a little?"
"20…"
"Grams? Pounds?"
"Blocks."
"Blocks? What does that even mean?"
"Weeellll" Deadpool drawled, "there's over a pound of c4 per block".
"Seriously, Deadpool? Seriously?"
"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT BEAM WAS IMPORTANT!?"
"So you put explosives on a support beam and then you act surprised when you levelled the building?"
"Maybe."
"Y'know… I've had a pretty shitty day today. I was hoping that when you showed up that if anything, the level of shitiness would at least stay the same since it's too much to ask for you NOT to screw it up even more."
"If it's any consolation, I didn't hurt anyone…"
He bounced on the balls of his feet, fighting the urge to break Deadpool's nose. "No, it's really NO consolation."
"Well, if-"
"First I wake up late. Then, someone stole my wallet-"
"The great Spider-Man got robbed?" Wade threw back his head and laughed.
Spider-man cocked back an arm and slammed his fist into Deadpool's stomach causing him to wheeze. "I was in gym class."
"So what's the third thing?" Wade suddenly asked.
"Wait- what?"
"Bad luck comes in threes, baby-boy."
Spider-Man's words failed him, he hopped up on the ledge of the building and pointed at the smouldering remains of the building, "What do you think?"
"Oh…" Tilting his head to the side, Deadpool seemed to consider something. The silence made Spider-man's skin crawl, "So... "
He stalked towards the merc, "You had something to do with this, didn't you?"
"I just wanted to snuggle so I hit the snooze button a few times." Spider-Man spluttered as Deadpool continued, "And we were rushing- you made me leave by the window. I forgot my wallet…"
"So you broke into my locker…" Spider-man was deadly calm. The kind of calm that meant he was beyond anger. The kind of calm that got Deadpool thrown off of buildings.
The warning bells were going off, but like usual Deadpool ignored them, "I love you." He said helplessly.
Spider-Man tackled Deadpool. Landing in a tangle of limbs, knees and elbows deftly connected with Deadpool's most tender places. He groaned as Spider-Man punched him in the stomach. "I love you- I love- lovey-love you."
Pulling up his mask to uncover his mouth, he jerked Deadpool's up to find him grinning despite the wheezing and sore spots from Spider-Man's abuse. "I love you too but you are bad on my nerves." He said before kissing the merc hard.