Regrets
Set immediately after the season two finale.
He lied to her, they had promised each other a long time ago that there would be no more secrets, he had been the one to insist they could not be a team and not trust each other, and he had lied to her. He told her that he had no regrets and that was a lie. He regretted not telling her that he loved her before they made love or even the next morning. He regretted not telling her the second that Jessica's text came through. He regretted bringing Jessica to the bunker and not telling her that he was in love with someone else. He regretted watching her walk away from him.
Over the next few weeks as his suspicions about Jessica grew so did the lies he told himself and his team. They weren't out and out lies, but they were the same kind of lies and secrets he had been so angry at her for keeping last year. His lies had cost him the woman he loved, his lies and had cost Rufus his life. Now all he had left was regret.
Regret was something that he was all too familiar with. He had spent six years regretting his final fight with Jessica, not being a better husband to her. Those regrets were ultimately what led to everything else. He carried so much guilt and regret over his Jessica's death he could not see clearly that woman he had shared a bed with for the last six weeks was not the woman he had known.
Staring at his reflection in the mirror he knew what he needed to do, he had spent enough time on regrets. He knew that he had no right to Lucy's heart or her trust anymore, he betrayed her and what they had on so many levels, but he had to at least tell her. She could tell him to go to hell and he would take it but he had to tell her.
He found her sitting in the hallway holding an icepack to her face. She was sitting in the same place they had been standing when everything had changed. When in a moment of veiled insecurity she jokingly asked him if they had each other. He could have told her then, he could have kissed her one more time making sue she knew how he felt but instead he had run off to Jessica. Hs took a deep breath and sat down next to her. His instinct was to reach for her hand or to take the ice pack from her and hold it against her face, but he knew that he had lost that privilege.
She said nothing but he could feel the air leave her body after he said it. He was about to tell her that he would spend the rest of his life trying to make it right for her, trying to ease the pain that he had caused her and earn back her trust when the room began to shake and the wind swirl. They stood staring in disbelief as the new lifeboat that appeared before them. He felt her hand on his back as she stood next to him as they waited, both silently praying somehow Rufus would step through the door when it opened. What came next though left them all speechless.
"Do you want to get Rufus back or what?" This new presumably future version of Lucy asked them.
Jiya pushed her way to the front, "Of course, but how? How are you two even here?" She asked in stunned disbelief.
Future Lucy smiled at Jiya and handed her a flash drive, "You will figure it out, but this might make it a little quicker."
They stood at the bottom of the stairs together Lucy and Wyatt still unable to speak looking directly into future versions of themselves. Lucy looked so fierce yet he could still see the unmistakable softness in her eyes. Then he watched in disbelief as his future self tenderly placed a hand on future Lucy's arm.
"We have to go now." He told her softly and Wyatt could tell there was more to the conversation.
"But…" Lucy began placing her hand on his chest and casting a glance back at their other selves.
"We can't fix that." He reminded her and she nodded but turned back to them again and looked directly into her own eyes.
"I know you don't believe it but I promise you that you can trust him." She said before they ascended the steps back into their lifeboat.
The lifeboat disappeared and they all huddled around Jiya who was already plugging the flash drive into a computer.
"What is it?" Agent Christopher asked.
"It looks like a lot of code." Mason answered from where he had sat down next to her.
"Somewhere in here must be the answer to how we travel back to a timeline we've already been in." Jiya agreed.
"How Lucy was able to give me the journal." Flynn agreed.
"Was that... was I?" Lucy stammered.
Flynn nodded, "That was the same Lucy who gave me the journal."
Wyatt stared at the two of them in confusion, "You knew this was a possibility?" He asked his voice sounding more accusatory than he intended.
"Don't start Wyatt." Lucy snapped walking away from the group in the direction of her room, unable to take in anymore.
Flynn smirked at him and Wyatt felt the familiar frustration cut through himself. He left and went in the opposite direction to his own room. The distance between he and Lucy and never felt greater.
Lucy sank down onto her bed and let the sobs take over her body. It was just too much, watching her mother die knowing that with her dying breath she still wanted Lucy to go to Rittenhouse, Rufus dying, everything with Wyatt, now this future version on themselves. Her future self telling her that she could trust Wyatt. The way future Wyatt had touched her and the way she had touched him told her all that she needed to know, that somehow they had found their way back to each other. She sat alone in her room for hours trying to sort it all out.
She finally pushed herself off her bed and silently made her way through the bunker which was equally as quiet. Agent Christopher must have gone home to her family, Flynn was probably sleeping and she could see Jyia and Connor hunched over the computer still trying to make sense of the material on the flash drive.
She stopped briefly at Wyatt's door but then pushed it open not bothering to knock. He was boxing up Jessica's things and did not hear her come in.
"Do you want some help?" she asked quietly.
"Lucy.' He said relief washing over his face when he saw her.
"We were interrupted earlier. " She told him.
"By ourselves." He laughed nervously.
"By our future selves who are obviously still in love with each other." She corrected.
"Still?" He asked crossing the room to her but she held her hand up to stop him and pointed for him to sit down on the bed.
"Yes, Wyatt, still, because this Lucy right here loves you just as much as the Lucy who grieved when she thought you were dead, as much as the one who stood by your side so many times, as much as the one who woke up in your arms in Hollywood in 1941. All of those Lucy's loved you just like I do and just like future Lucy does. The only difference is all of those other Lucy's trusted you and I don't know if I do."
Wyatt nodded, "I don't blame you, but do you think I can earn it back?" he asked sincerely.
Lucy moved to sit on the bed next to him and linked her fingers in his, "Apparently so" she told him with a slight smile.
"I don't deserve you Lucy." He told her placing one hand on the side of her face. "But I promise to learn from my mistakes."
Lucy laughed, "You mean no more bringing your back from the dead wives to the bunker?"
"No more living my life my life in a way that I have to make up for past regrets." He answered. "I don't want to regret one more minute we have together."
"It seems unfair Wyatt." She said pulling back from him slightly.
"What does?" He asked her.
"Sitting here sharing our feelings when Rufus is dead and Jiya is trying to get him back." She explained.
"It is unfair, but it's where we are and we will stop at nothing to get him back. Loving you, earning back your trust, and saving Rufus are the only things that matter to me now." He told her smiling a little as she allowed herself to be pulled into his arms.
"I don't think we can help Jiya much right now." She told him as a yawn escaped her.
"Then how about some sleep. You could stay here." He offered not ready for her to leave.
"Not here." She said looking around the room her eyes falling to the pile of Jessica's things he had been packing and he understood. "You can come back with me." She toe him offering her hand as she stood and they walk together fingers intertwined back to her room.
She closed the door behind them and they stood there nervously for a moment, "I can take the other bed." He offered and she couldn't help but laugh.
"If I had wanted to sleep by myself I would have left you in your room." She told him as she slipped off her pants and climbed into the bed, "Come hold me Wyatt, we don't have to figure it all out tonight."
His eyes twinkled and a smile broke across his face, "Yes Ma'am." He answered slipping off his own pants and scooting up behind her on the narrow bed pulling her as close as he could. He knew that the road ahead of them would not be easy their road never had been, but she was lying next him tonight willing to give him another chance and he would do whatever it took to make sure she did not regret it.