Disclaimer: I do not own any of Rick Riordan's works, etc, etc
Percy worked on his last few blue pancakes. He looked up only occasionally to answer Annabeth, who was chatting animatedly next to him. Mr D walked upfront to make some announcements, which, of course, Percy happily ignored. Until he heard the next part;
"As some of you brats might have noticed, we put a sign up giving all the rules and regulations we've come up with after a couple acts from some demi-gods that I still haven't ruled out turning into dolphins…"
He descended into muttering as he walked off.
Chiron began handling the situation, but Percy stood up before he finished to go have a look. If those 'acts' had annoyed his least favourite god, and that was saying a lot, then they had to be good
1)No one is allowed to sneak into the Hypnos cabin and shave the eyebrows off of all the demigods
2)Or draw on their face in sharpie
3)Or cover them in shaving cream
4)No one is allowed to put sunglasses on the Poseidon statue
5)Or change the inscription to "Broseidon, god of the brocean"
6) Mr D is not to turn any demigods into grape vines*
7)Demigods are not to insult the God of Wine's fashion sense unless they want to be turned into grape vines*
8)No one is to lock Nico and Will in the cupboard to see if "hot, gay sex occurs"
9)Or Nico and Percy
10)No one is allowed to put up signs saying "Warning: flesh-eating horses" outside the pegasus stables
11)"I was possessed by Gaea" is not an excuse for the above
12)Or below
13)In no event is any child of Zeus allowed near the microwave
14)Greek armor is not to be used as a jello-mold
15)Or a sled
16)Whoever replaced the entire Cabin Seven weapons stash with suction-tip arrows will be found and punished
17)And whoever wrote" home of Katniss Everdeen" in enchanted ink on the cabin walls
18)As well whoever added " and Clint Barton"
19)Certain Gods of Wine are not to be spray painted neon pink
20)Demigods are not to hide the door to Cabin 13, unless they want to be sent to the underworld. Again
21)Chiron does not swish his hair "because he's worth it"
22)No one is allowed to declare "Hug Mr D" day
23)Or "Naked Friday"
24)Super-gluing people to their seats in the dining hall, however funny, is not to be done
25)Chickens are not to be stored on the camp grounds ever again
26)No one is to ask Chiron what happened with the chickens
27)Whoever wrote "this side up" in enchanted ink on Mr D's feet while he was sleeping will be punished
28)The owner of the pen with enchanted ink will be found and dealt with
29)You cannot fly a pegasus with your nose. Don't try
30)Walls are not exits and are not to be treated as such
31)Annabeth and Percy are not to be asked about the bunk-bed incident
32) Neither is Chiron
32)Any demigods who pour buckets of water over the beds of the camp directors, especially while they are still in them, and shout that "the titans are attacking" will be dealt with severely
34)The next person to forward a "send this to 15 Christmas hoes" chain message to the camp directors will be severely dealt with
35)The wine of the gods is not for half mortals
36)The next demigod to get drunk on wine from the gods and yell" I'm a bird, motherfuckers" through all hours of the night will clean the stables for the next month
37)Any demigods who change every word on the camp directors' phones to immediately correct to "HELL YEAH" will be punished
38)These rules and regulations are not a challenge
39)Under no circumstances are demigods to turn into pine trees (I'm looking at you, Thalia)*
40)Under no circumstances are demigods to add anything to this list
* #6 is crossed out roughly in pen and
*#7 is written in what looks suspiciously like Dionysus' hand writing
* #39 is written in what looks like a camper's hand writing and has a neat line drawn through the middle, probably by Chiron
"Well we'd better get started," said Annabeth suddenly. Percy looked up with a confused expression.
"If we want to break all the rules before Chiron catches on," she continued, already disobeying the last one by scrawling another 'rule' under her own added 41 at the bottom of the list.
Percy gave her the one of those lopsided grins she loved so much. "Bring it on, wise girl. Bring it on."
A/n: I've been reading a lot of 'things not to do and got inspired. Sorry about all the horizontal lines, but I tried to give it some order so that it would be less confusing. Well, do you love it, do you hate it? Please leave a review. As always, so long and thanks for all the fish xx