Disclaimer: If I owned bleach, there would be so much more yaoi floating around. No, Bleach belongs to Kubo Tite.
Warnings: yaoi, profanity, mentions of sex but not anything explicit, fluff
Character pairings: Ichihitsu/IchigoxHitsugaya/IchigoxToushiro
WARNING: YAOI, WHICH MEANS THERE IS BOYXBOY CONTENT! IF YOU'RE NOT OPEN MINDED ENOUGH TO READ IT FOR WHAT ITS WORTH DON'T READ IT!!!!! THIS IS A PIECE WRITTEN BY A FAN FOR FANS OF ICHIHITSU SO DON'T GO FLAMING IF YOU'RE SIMPLY AGAINST YAOI! DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME READING IT THEN!
-I abused the caps function
Regarding Profanity
By Kurosaki Ichigo
Speech began as a means of communication between peoples. Speech affects our daily lives in that our societies revolve on ones abilities to communicate codes, knowledge, data, etc. to our peers and supervisors. However, a recent development in society has led to a slack in the standardization and adhesion of formal language. The use of profanity and other like slang has an incredibly disastrous effect in this world, this it should be prohibited by all and any means.
In order to illustrate the awful effects of profanity, one must first evaluate the conditions of a subject than can be considered a symbol for the world. For such case, one would think of the people. Imagine the appearance of a young boy whose face rests angelicly in the glow of the morning light. Most could agree that it were a beautiful imagine. For the sake of imagery and mood, this well-mannered boy would never use profanity in such a circumstance. However, now imagine a boy, clad in black and covered in blood, whom wields a sword that steals the lives of others. His eyes shine with adrenaline and anger and his voice his horse and raspy. The words he whispers are "shit", "fuck", and "damn". The way this boy utters these syllables is the same wherever. For example, imagine that same young boy sprawled across crisp white bed sheets. His fingers are fanned and flexed to their limits as they search for some release of the tension streaming throughout his body. His soft white stomach, marred with kiss marks and love bites, arches upward to steal more heat from the body above. His head is pressed into the mattress as his eyes haze with ecstasy. His mouth opens and he gasps out a single hot syllable.
"Fuck".
And even though the same profane word is uttered in two entirely different circumstances, one can imagine how similarly the lip and tongue of this boy's mouth contort to form this syllable (minus the slightly swollen lips in the second instance). The image of that moment, of tainted beauty, is forever recreated in the mind of the beholder whenever the boy is ever to use those profane words again. The most irksome part, however, is that the public too has a glimpse into the unknown realms of this boy's private endeavors because whenever he utters those same words, his lips move in the same flow and pattern. The boy, oblivious to his actions, is repeating some of the same actions he performs in private in public. Such a coalition of private and public affairs would simply destroy the world and its functions. Thus in order to savor the value of the words, let them not be used in excess, but with prudence in the bedroom.
Because profanity in public blurs the boundaries between public and private life, it is disastrous for the world. Therefore, profanity in public should be ended with prudence and earnest. Allow those who continue to use such dirty words be punished by their respectful partners.
The ice-wielding genius slammed the paper down on his desk.
"What is the meaning of this, Kurosaki? I happen to be really busy."
"I know that, I thought I'd get you to relax." The carrot-haired shinigami responded obviously ignoring the captain's gesticulations at the mountains of paperwork the 10th squad's lieutenant had left behind.
"By getting me to read an essay? You bast-!"
Ichigo pushed a single jumbo marshmallow into the pink cavities of Toushiro's mouth that he knew all too well. The tenth division captain squeaked when large arms encircled his waist pinning him tightly against the other body.
"I came to declare my position against all usage of public profanity." He whispered somehow seductively into the curve of the ear of the younger looking shinigami.
"Yuki."
Thus struck a chord in the captain and he began flailing around violently against his oppressor.
"Don't call me that you bastard! I hate you! Stop trying to seduce me all the time, ass hole. Damn it! Stop biting my ear! Fuck! Stop treating me like a kid!"
A single soft kiss silenced the captain, but he resolved to start again as soon as he could breath. A solemn long look from Ichigo made him act otherwise. His severity and silence were odd and Toushiro couldn't help but wonder if there was something wrong.
"Oi, what's wrong?"
"I didn't finish yet," Ichigo said slowly. "I said, 'I came to declare my position against all usage of public profanity' but also, I came to punish the wrong doers."
Toushiro suddenly felt a chill crawl up his spine and he attempted to wriggle away, but Ichigo's grip intensified. Ichigo smiled widely.
"Do you know how many times you just used it?"
Toushiro's instinct told him to get away, but the tight grip of the fellow captain-level shinigami kept him from running. "W-Wait, Kurosaki, I didn't-" He resorted to reasoning, but was cut off by the other.
"Many," Ichigo said and then smiled widely as he gathered his princess up in his arms. "I think you need greater punishment. Feel free to curse at me, but let's wait until we're in the bedroom where I can administer judgment properly."
owari
Author's note: This is the first time I've written Yaoi for publish though I've been a fan for a long time. It's funny how it just sucks you in. I hope this doesn't affect my other fan bases. I don't wish for readers of my other stories to be affected just because I wrote a yaoi one shot. I always keep yaoi worlds separate from my OC stories. If you read this and decided that you didn't like Yaoi, then please do not be discouraged to read by other OC stories because I promise that there won't be any Yaoi in those. Please let me know what you think. I anxiously await your response.
-Aisumi
Omake:
"I can't believe you wrote an entire essay just to seduce me." Toushiro sighed, rolling over on his futon.
Ichigo, not wanting to be away from his lover, turned to hold him.
"I didn't write it just for you, but it was all true."
Toushiro went stiff then turned to face his older-looking partner. "Hey, you didn't let anybody else read that." Cautiously he added. "Did you?"
Ichigo blinked. "I turned it in for my term paper, why?"
--
Now we know the reason why Ichigo needs to take remediary courses. XP Hope you enjoyed